I haven't updated my story She Would Be in a while because I've been working hard on this. I think by the time I post this second chapter, I'll have updated that. I just gotta get the next chap beta'd. Go read it please? If you love me, yes? YES?
...GUYS?
~0~
I didn't really have a lot to unpack since I'd be keeping my clothes in the suit case, and there wasn't much point to unpacking since all my other stuff would ship to my new apartment in a week. I put my toothbrush and shampoo and shit in the bathroom, and was rummaging around looking for clothes to wear tonight, when something hit my back.
"Ow! What the f—" Bella was standing in the doorway holding two foam dart guns, smiling wickedly.
She snickered at the look on my face. "Come on, it's not like I actually hurt you. Wanna play?" She shook one of the guns at me alluringly.
"Why do I get the small one?"
"Because this one is mine."
"But I'm the guest, so I should get first pick."
"Yes, but my house my rules."
"It's an apartment." I leaned on the door jam and smirked at her. "And it's a big gun. Wouldn't want your feminine arms to wimp out in the middle of foam dart warfare."
She shot me in the stomach.
"Oof!" Bella laughed and dropped the smaller one at my feet, then scampered off.
I picked up the gun and ran after her. She hid herself next to the fridge and popped out, running and shooting at the same time. I shot her ass.
"Hey! Watch the goodies!"
I laughed and ran back down her hallway to hide in the hall closet. There was a lot of shit in there. Old coats and rain boots and a vacuum and something that might be a collection of voodoo dolls.
"Edwaaard? Where aaare yooou?" Bella whisper sang on her way down the hall. Her shadow passed under the doorway and I silently snickered at my thought of Bella being a killer in a horror movie.
The shadow stopped and the door. I barely got a breath in before it opened with bullets blazing. We shot at each other within two feet, which was totally unsafe and hurt like a bitch. She had a pillow as a shield, which I told her wasn't fair. But then she ran out of darts.
"Shit!" She looked up at me with wide eyes.
I raised my gun, smiling evilly.
"Don't you fucking dare... Ah!" She ran towards the living room, me on hot pursuit. She reached the couch and held up another pillow as protection. I tore them away and grabbed her shirt, pulling her close and touching the nozzle of the gun to her middle.
"Surrender."
"Never!"
"Gimme all your booty!"
"We're playing with guns, not pirate swords you dork."
"Surrender or I'll be forced to use this thing."
"You don't have the guts."
"I could always make you."
"Ha! I scoff at you, sir!"
She was laughing until I leaned closer, and her mood abruptly shifted. Her eyes made a hot trail down and back up my face, causing my hair to stand on end.
She blushed. I caught my breath. She was so beautiful.
I slowly lowered the gun to the coffee table, keeping our eyes locked the whole time. Her hands were still paused in the air from when I pulled away and they grabbed me back eagerly.
I'd never really thought about it, but the best feeling in the world might be when you're with a very special person and you're so close that you can feel the other breathing and see her heart beat, and you know you're about to kiss her, but there's that moment of hesitation. That moment where everything, the room and the air and the atmosphere, feels suspended and it pressures on your thought process. But then finally, finally, you get to kiss her, and it feels like the sweetest sort of reprieve imaginable.
This was different than our kiss earlier. It's not that either one was better than the other, just that this one seemed more... serious. The first one was in a category of amazing on all kinds of levels, but this kiss felt like a little more. I didn't know what it was.
I wrapped my lips around hers, tasting the last remnants of a glass of grape juice. Her hands roved a circuit across and down and back on my stomach, working me up to no end. Her hands ended on my hips, fingers braided through the belt loops. She tugged me towards the couch.
I sat down with her following onto my lap. I was face to face with her breasts, and I don't think it was fair for her to purposely stick them in my face. The fabric covering them taunted me. Her shirt had slid to let the barest hint of her green bra peek over, and I leaned over to kiss the pink skin above it. She gasped and ran her fingers through my hair, tugging, scratching, oh.
I kissed my way up, pausing to lick the beginning of the dip in her cleavage. She shivered. Are collar bones supposed to taste this good? Mmm.
Each kiss on her jaw bordered being a nip. I didn't even realize she'd begun to lift my shirt up until we heard the door knob rattling.
"Helloooo! Please don't be naked!"
Bella groaned and fell off me, slumping onto the couch with her arm thrown over her face. I needed to cover my situation before the person belonging to the voice came in. I looked around frantically, but all the pillows were on the other side of the couch end, and I was being pinned down by a pair of Bella feet. I pulled them over it. She smirked at me.
I gave her a look as if to say it's your fault, you know. She just smiled wider.
Then, a statuesque blond entered. She had to have been almost as tall as me with heels on, and she walked with a wide gait and an air of confidence like she was hot and she knew it, even if it was just to the living room.
"Ah, oh my gosh, you're here!" she squealed and ran towards us. "I have been dying to meet you. When Bella told us you'd be moving here, I think I almost got more excited than her. Okay, maybe not, but hi!"
I laughed. "Hi. Rosalie, right? Nice to finally meet you." I held my hand out.
She shook, her huge smile never wilting. "You too."
"Alright, Rosalie. If you're done fangirling over Edward now, come help me pick out something good to wear tonight. And no, I am not wearing a fucking dress like last year. It's gonna be like twenty-something degrees outside tonight." Bella got up from the couch to drag Rosalie away and I snickered.
"Says Little Miss 'But it wasn't snowing when I left!'" I did a girly voice to make fun of her.
She turned around and stuck her lip out.
"Don't stick that lip out too far or I'll grab it."
She wiggled her eyebrows at me before disappearing down her hallway.
~4~
I slammed the front door closed and barreled through the foyer. Mom must have heard my teen rage and stopped me at the foot if the stairs.
"Hey, how was school?" She asked me this every day when I got home and I usually answered with a smile and an Okay or Boring or Same old. But today, the quirk in her face made the double meaning in the question obvious: What happened?
I watched her for a second, not sure what to say. I didn't really feel like telling this particular problem to my mother.
"Fine," I said curtly, then walked upstairs. I tried real hard to close the door quietly this time.
I slumped on my bed face first, sighing. It felt weird, because I wasn't heart broken, but I was angry like you'd expect me to be. I guess I saw it coming though.
My cell phone began ringing. It was probably Bella, and I debated answering it or not. Mom had finally given in two years ago and got me a cell phone. It was a shitty Nokia. I was still happy to have one though. Bella and I used to have a set time when we'd call each other, but now that we had cell phones we'd just call or text whenever. I didn't really like texting though. I couldn't remember all the dumb abbreviations, and writing a whole sentence took too long.
I knew that if I answered, she'd definitely know something was wrong. I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell her either.
I answered it anyway.
"Hey, dude!"
"Hey, dudette." I tried to contribute to our usual greeting joke, but I apparently didn't do a good job.
There was a pause, and then she said, "Tell me."
I groaned. "But it's so bad."
"Tell me."
"Can't you tell me something good first before I completely ruin the conversation?"
"I went to the moon today and set up a new colony, now tell me."
"Fine." I sighed. "… Leah cheated on me."
"That skank whore."
I laughed. "Yeah, well I kinda expected it. We've been really distant lately."
"Yeah, I could tell. You don't really talk about her anymore. What happened?" I was right to get this off my chest to Bella. She could always make me feel better.
"It's just been really difficult to talk to her, ya know? She's really focused on college right now, wanting to graduate early and all, but then she started going to basketball games, which was weird since she's never liked sports before. And one time I went with her, and she barely talked or looked at me the whole time. I figured it out later that she was staring at this guy on the team named Jake, because she was talking to him in the hall really close. And... She was looking at him how she used to look at me I guess. I don't know, but that was like two weeks ago, and then today I went to her house and her mom let me in, and I went to her room and he was there." Bella gasped. "They were making out on her bed. His shirt was off. Her mom obviously didn't know."
There was a deafening silence. I could hear her breathing. "That really kinda sucks, Edward."
I laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, it kinda does."
"Are you sad?"
"Not really. I'm just mad. That she didn't think to tell me she wanted to end it. That she cheated on me instead."
"Are you going to talk to her about it tomorrow?"
"Yeah, but I don't really mind. I don't feel anything, you know? Maybe it was there before, but... not anymore." I sounded like such a girl, but I knew that Bella wouldn't judge me. We had almost no secrets. Well...
"You know, she used to be really jealous of you. I never told you that, did I? She found our letters under my bed."
She laughed. "No way! Jealous of me? Ha! Are they still in the shoebox?"
"No, they've graduated to an expandable. Too many letters for an eight year old's shoebox. They're categorized by year. Are you proud of me?"
I could almost hear her smile. "Why yes I am. Congrats on your sudden organization." She giggled, then sighed. The shift back of the conversation was tangible. "Well they can have each other. And you need a cheer up."
"Oh yeah? What should I do, go out and find the nearest dandy looking babe?"
"Ew. Don't ever say that again. No Edward, I do not suggest you whoring yourself, though I think you'd do a dandy job." I laughed. "I think I have an idea though."
"Really? Please, do share."
"Well... Okay, don't make fun of me. I was shelving at the library, and I came across this book that interested me. It was a, um, let's say it was a... sexualreferencebook. And I only stopped to look at it because, really, I don't know shit about that. Charlie stays clear of any sort of awkward stuff like that with me, and mom's version of 'the talk' was really just to make sure the guy wraps it up." I choked on laughter. That sounded so Renee. "So I checked it out and read it and I came across something I was intrigued about and I kinda actually wanted to try it, but I don't know any other guys I'd like to or let try with me because honestly you know I'm shy and what if I saw them at school and it becomes awkward and I-"
"Bella, breath. What is it?"
"Phone sex," she blurted. "I wanna do that. And... I was hoping you'd try it with me."
I was literally stunned.
And then I laughed.
"What was that you said about being shy, Miss Swan?"
She laughed too. "Yeah well, you asked. So...?"
"Uh, sure. I guess I'll try... I've never..."
"Me either of course. But I looked more into it, and it's mostly just describing stuff. Like what you're wearing and doing. It's basically like playing pretend for grownups." I snickered at her. My girl, researching phone sex. "Except we get to come."
Okay, all humor gone.
I cleared my throat. "Okay, um, since you know more of what you're doing, you first."
There was a ruffling sound. "Sorry, wanted to lock my door," she said in embarrassment. That sounded like a good idea and I did too, then laid back down.
She took a deep breath. I really hoped this wouldn't end up awkward. "What are you wearing?"
I looked down. "Jeans and my Green Day T-shirt. And the leather necklace you sent me. What are you wearing?"
"Nothing."
Oh.
"It's really cold in here, and the vent is right above me. It's blowing on my breasts."
Shit.
"My nipples are so hard."
"Fuck."
"What about you? Are you hard?"
"Um, I'm definitely getting there."
"Imagine me leaning over you. I run my hand down your neck, playing with your necklace, and down your chest. You rise to my touch." I did with my own hand what she described. "My fingers reach the hem of your jeans. I stop for a moment, making sure your eyes are on mine, before unzipping them."
The image of Bella's beautiful, bare body and her touching me seared through my mind I wanted to try too.
"You pull my pants off and crawl back up to me. I take my shirt off and you settle between my legs. I flip us over and I'm on top. I take your hands and push them to the top of the pillow. I slide my hands down your arms, and you squirm when I reach that ticklish spot on your shoulder blade." She made a noise that I really liked then. "My hands travel down your sides to your hips. I run my fingertips between the two hip bones, the skin there is so soft. I push into you with two fingers, rubbing back and forth. You're gasping. You're wet." Hey yeah, this isn't so hard.
She picked it back up. "I like how you're touching me. There's a fire in your eyes when I reach back to your hair and tug. I want you to kiss me. You do. You kiss my lips, my jaw, my throat. My tit. It feels so good, Edward. Your tongue feels so good."
I grunt her name. "I want to fuck you."
"I want you to fuck me."
"I lean up and kiss you again. You spread your legs wide. I rub the skin on your shoulder softly. Can I be inside you?"
"Yes. The air is cold on me. I want your warmth in me."
It wouldn't take long now. "I push inside you. You're so tight."
"You're so thick. You kiss me again. I like your kisses."
"I— I'm almost there, baby. Are you close?"
"I—"
For the first time since ever knowing Bella Swan, she was at a loss for many words. She had never sounded so beautiful.
I listened to her breathing with me. At that moment, I wished noting more than to be able to see her flushed, satisfied face, her droopy eyes and lazy smile.
Finally, I broke the silence. "Bella?"
"Yeah?" she said quietly.
"Maybe I'm just biased, but I think your writing abilities may bring you big bucks in the adult phone entertainment business."
She snorted. "I don't know whether to be flattered or to wanna hit you."
~0~
The girls were taking a long time to get ready. The whining about what to wear had stopped filtering through the walls a while ago, but now the apartment was pungent with the smell of powders and singed hair.
We were heading to a bar Rosalie's boyfriend managed. It was downtown near where the fireworks would be held. While I waited for them, I looked around some more. I'd seen most of it through the screen of a computer on Skype, but really being here felt surreal. And I don't mean being in the apartment, I mean being where Bella is.
Rosalie came out first, wearing a tight, short red dress and spike heels that she could probably use for weapons if a drunk asshole got the wrong idea. I hoped she had a coat.
Bella turned off her light and walked out then. She wore skinny jeans and a blue frilly shirt thing and a leather jacket and converse. I think most of the wait was for Rose, because Bella was mostly au naturel besides some black stuff on her eyes. She smiled at me and took my hand.
"You look beautiful," I said to her.
"Thanks!" Rosalie chirped. "Come on, let's go, we're gonna be late!" She rushed us out the door like she hadn't been the one to take up most of the time.
We took the subway over. The streets were already beginning to pack with excited New Yorkers and tourists. Midnight would be a madhouse.
Rosalie zipped around people, trying to get past the bustling crowd. Bella and I could barely keep up with her. She abruptly stopped in front of a heavy wooden door with intricate glass paneling and opened it for us, waving her hand towards the inside like a butler. Good evening, sir.
The interior was dimly lit, but warmly decorated in cherry tinted wood. Rosalie made a beeline for the bar, trying to get the attention of the bartender. He leaned on the bar in front of her, appraising her dress in a far more than friendly way.
Bella snickered. "You'd think she hadn't seen him in days rather than hours at the way she ran over to him. That's her boyfriend, Emmett. He's a sweetie. He gives me free Cheetos when no one's looking."
We walked over to them, Bella introducing us. Emmett was a big guy. His bicep might have been as thick as my thigh. His handshake was firm and very strong, but his smile and childish eyes were gentle. He offered me my favorite beer without asking what it was. Yeah, he was cool with me.
We hung out there for a while and Bella introduced me to some other people she knew. There was this guy named Seth who could take a shot, roll the glass across his lips to empty it, and have it fall in the other hand, and some girl named Bree who regaled tales to me about turning her boyfriend Diego into a demon hamster. I tried to stay away from her. Angela and Ben soon showed up, and Angela challenged Seth to who could drink more. But as the hours drew later, most of the fun patrons had trickled out into the streets to join the celebrating crowds, and the only people left in the bar were me, Bella, Rosalie and Emmett, Angela and Ben, and the hipsters.
Those fucking hipsters.
They were every-fucking-where.
They're like the scum of the night, skulking in the back of crowds, waiting for the right moment to rise up and take siege with their slowly growing numbers and their fedoras.
They high jacked the juke box and played a bunch of shit I didn't know, but Bella seemed to. Sometimes she'd bob her head to the music and mouth the words, and sometimes she'd make this really disgusted face like someone had crapped on her grandmother's priceless person rug.
And then they started to dance.
Rosalie read my mind. "This place got lame. Let's get outta here."
"Aw babe, come on. Don't disrespect the bar. It's not her fault." Emmett lovingly rubbed the mahogany wood and pouted at her.
Rosalie wasn't deterred. She flipped around, lashing her curls at him and clicking to the door. She turned back to us with the door open, raising her eyebrows expectantly at our slower pace.
Before we could get close enough to the door, the song changed to the familiar tune Bella had branded into my head for the last year.
She gasped. "Oh my gosh! Wait, Rose, wait! This is my jam! My jam, Rose! Come on, Edward, let's dance."
This wasn't really a dancing song, and I'm sure the hipsters agreed as they were all just bobbing their heads coolly, but Bella somehow found a dancing rhythm to it by throwing her arms up at certain moments and bouncing off bent knees.
I kind of just stood there, bobbing like a hipster.
She wasn't satisfied with that. She grabbed my hands and held them in the air. The completely adorable face she was making caused me to smile and I started moving with her. I sang with her, pointing at her or me when the song allowed, and soon the hipsters started getting into it. But those fucking followers didn't get much of a chance because the song then ended.
Bella hugged me tight and walked back to where Rosalie was still standing, looking impatient but trying not to smile. Angela couldn't hide her grin though.
We left the bar, and Rosalie called back to Emmett, "See you at midnight, baby!"
As we walked, Bella tucked under my arm, I gave her a look, then glanced to Rosalie when she passed us with a smug smile.
I didn't even get to my question before she laughed and explained. "Rose and Em are like that. He comes after her and she plays with him, making him come after her even more. It would be pathetic if they weren't so in love." She laughed again. "I think she gets some high off of it. But they're happy."
I looked back up at Rose's strutting form ahead of us, then up to the sky. "I'm happy."
She hugged me. "I'm happy too."
She was staring up at me with this incredible expression, so I kissed her. It was quick, but meaningful, and her smile brightened significantly. I hoped I could always do that.
Rosalie suddenly stopped at a park bench and sat down. "Whoo! My feet are a-killin me!"
"Well that's because you wore death heels," I said, sitting beside her. Bella sat one my other side, her feet propped in my lap. "What were you planning to do with those? Obviously walking isn't it."
"I wore them because they make my legs look good and make Emmett crazy. He's supposed to be working until one, but he'll probably lock up early. In fact..." She raised a finger in the air and looked up like she was counting. Then she pointed from the way we came and sure enough, Emmett came barreling through the crowd.
He picked Rosalie up and sat with her on his lap. "You are an evil, evil woman. I love you."
"Tell me something I don't know."
I looked over at Bella to see we had matching grins. The park light cast a hazy orange light on one side of her face and the moon a clear white on the other. I touched her cheek softly. She did the same. She smelled so good...
"Hey, if you two are done having your creepy Avatar 'I See You' moment, I'd like to head down to the water now."
I dropped my hand and glared at Emmett.
Rosalie groaned. "Would you please get over that movie!"
"What? It was amazing! You know, Rose, you saw it with me! It was cinematically immaculate!"
"Alright." Bella stood up. "When Emmett starts using words with more than three syllables, we better do what he asks. Come on." She tugged me up and started back towards the water. "Before he starts speaking in Na'vi."
I looked at my watch. We waited too long in the park and there was less than a minute left. Everyone else felt the shift in the atmosphere like water coming to a boil. We began speed walking, then running, then flying through the streets.
The countdown began.
Suddenly, a booming interrupted in the half second of silence between millions of people screaming One! and another year shouting zero.
We neared the water, and as I looked up, I felt like I was transported to another time where a young soldier met the love of his life. Lights exploded through the leafless tree branches, turning spectacles in the sky like I'd never seen. I could understand why Bella had lived here all her life and could never get tired of the New York fireworks, and I knew the only difference between that soldier and I was that I already had the girl I loved with me.
I looked down at Bella's flushed face and smiling pink lips, and realized that we'd missed our New Year's countdown kiss. I pulled her into the cheering crowd. I kissed her hard, harder than any of our kisses today, and she kissed back in matching force. When I pulled away, our breathing shallow and eyes still heavy with lust, I could see the dancing lights swivel in her dark eyes, and God if she didn't look so beautiful.
"Bella, you probably already know this, but I love you."
She nodded, still dazed. "Yeah, I think I figured that out a long time ago. And I love you too. So much."
I kissed her again.
My grandma always said that the way you start out the year signifies how the rest of the year will go. If that was anything to go buy, I wouldn't mind spending a year this way.
~5~
Senior year was exciting and flew by. I was set to head to University of Washington. My dad drilled it in my head that I should try out college life before making any huge life decisions, but all I really wanted to do was work with my hands. I wanted to make and sell furniture and repair stuff and help people out. I kind of wanted to start my own furniture business, but my advanced shop class and the odd jobs I did around town wouldn't fully prepare me for that of course. I was heading to college to work towards my business degree, and interning at a nearby antique furniture manufacture.
One if the best things about senior year was right before school started.
I was sitting in my room, writing a letter to Bella. Our letters had dwindled in the last few years sadly due to us preferring to speak to each other on the phone. I loved her letters, but I loved her voice more. We still sent them though, with a bunch of pictures tucked in each envelope. She sent one that summer of her and her family at the Grand Canyon. It was of her with elbows out and thumbs up, wearing sunglasses and a silly grin in front of the gaping golden hole. The back said We finally made it here! There's no Edwards in sight, but maybe next time. I wonder what Niagara Falls is like this time of year? I sent her back a picture of me with matching thumbs up holding a Google images print out of Niagara Falls in summer. Like this maybe? Pack your bags, sweet cheeks!
I was finishing up the most current one with a story about Alice's obvious crush on our cousin Jasper at her sixteenth birthday party, which was simultaneously gross and hilarious, when someone knocked on my door.
"Come in." I hid the letter under my leg in case it was Alice.
It was my mom. She came in with a weird smile on her face and her hands behind her back.
"I have a surprise for you Edward," she sang.
I sat up and moved the letter to my bedside table so not to crumple it then turned back to my mother. She was almost jumping up and down with excitement, making me anxious to know what it was.
"Okay, you ready?"
"Yes."
She pulled one arm around and dumped a round thing in my lap.
"Uh, thanks."
"Don't you know what it is?!"
I looked more closely at it. It was a camera lens inside a round pod attached to a hook and a cord.
"It's a... Camera?"
"Yes! Sort of. It goes with your other surprise..."
She unveiled her other arm, handing me a brand new laptop.
I got up on my knees excitedly. "Holy sh-! Wow, mom, thanks!" Then I stopped. "Wait, can... Can we afford this?"
We'd been having money troubles lately, what with Dad getting laid off and mom's books not selling well. Dad got a small, part time job as a technical writer, but it wasn't enough for our usual expenses, even without any indulgences or my impending college expenses. My parents were thrifty and had a lot saved up, but they didn't want to have to dip into their life savings. I was just lucky they'd set up a college fund for me a long time ago.
She shushed me. "This is a senior year present, saying thanks for not being a bratty teenager and for making it this far. Now, just take the damn thing and open it up."
It was already on when I opened the lid, the screen lighting up. Mom leaned over me and plugged in the camera thing and situated it on top of the screen. She clicked on a little blue icon in the corner.
Skype opened up. Most of my friends were going crazy for it right now, and Bella and I had shared many whining conversations about how awesome it'd be to both have it.
Wait.
Did... Was she...?
I turned to Mom, my heart racing, but she'd disappeared. I was about to get up and race back down the hall to find her, when the computer starting binging. I whipped my head back to the screen.
Video Call from: Bella Swan
I freaked. Like freaked freaked. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. She... And I... We were gonna...!
"Okay, dude," I said to myself, trying to reason around the loud thrumming in my chest. "Just answer it. Everybody be cool, it's just a normal day."
I clicked answer.
Nothing happened for a second, and then a pixelly box popped up showing her form sitting at a desk top. The pixels slowly defined and her beautiful smiling face came into view.
I put a fist to my mouth, gasping. I looked to my door to see if Mom was watching, but no. It was just Bella and I. She had a teary eyed smile gracing her face, and she touched the screen where my face shown in her own screen. I did the same with her.
"Hi, Edward."
I choked. "Hi, Bella."
Tears spilled over her smiling cheeks, and it was sad that her eyes looked their brightest and so beautiful when filled with tears.
"So, uh, you don't seem surprised to see me. Conspiring against me, huh?" I chastised, but there was no anger behind it at all. I wiped my own tears away.
"Yeah," she laughed. "It was your mom's idea."
"I love my mom."
"Me too. She called me last week, telling me what she was planning. She said the idea had just popped in her head one day and I went along with it. She mailed me a camera too and I helped her set up Skype. I'm using my mom's old laptop. It's a piece of shit, but I'm enduring it because you know my love of grand romantic gestures. And because I wanted to see your face." She shrugged, smirking.
"You're smirking."
"So I am."
"And I get to see it."
"That you do."
I put my face in my hands, the smile on my face never wavering. I dropped them and tilted my head towards her, looking at her through my eyelashes. "You know, since I have this now, I'm never gonna leave you alone."
"Stalker. I can block you, ya know."
"You wouldn't dare. You'd miss me too much."
She looks like she was about to make another witty remark, but then she just half smiled and whispered, "Yeah."
She got up with the laptop. "Wanna see my room?" It was just as it was in all the pictures she sent me, blue walls and purple sheets and a white book shelf covered in stickers and overflowing with books. A collage of pictures similar to mine was collected on the wall where a white ledge window over looked the city.
She walked over to the collage. "These two are my favorite pictures." She pointed to one and I squinted at them. It was the Christmas of my third grade year. I knew this because that was the year we'd begun sending presents to each other, and the toy jet plane she'd first sent me still swung on a wire in my room. In the first picture, little me was opening the box hurriedly, a mixture of surprise and joy on his face. The second was of little me cuddling with the jet plane in the middle of a wrapping paper sea, sleeping. Okay, that one was a little embarrassing. My mom had made me send that one. So of course it ended up being Bella's favorite.
I got up to show her my room too, and then my favorite picture of her. It was that one of her in Central Park with the sun shining through her hair.
"That one is your favorite? Hmmm."
I sat back down in the bed and gave her a look. "What?"
"Nothing, I just figured the picture I sent you of my vag would be your favorite."
I choked.
"Agh— I, uh– I never got any picture like that." All blood had rushed from my face.
"Really? That wasn't you I sent it to…? Shit."
"What?!"
She looked really serious for a moment, before loud laughter erupted from her mouth, making her rock forward. "Hahaha! No, of course not! Why the hell would I do that? Oh my God, your face!" She fell sideways on her bed, her legs kicking with her gasping breaths.
I huffed for a little longer, but her hiccupping giggles had me laughing too, and pretty soon my sides hurt. She was leaning towards the camera and clutching her midsection, her pose mirroring mine. Her red face was covered in wisps of hair falling from her messy side bun and lit with a lazy smile. I wished I could reach in and touch her face, tuck the strands back in, hold her.
She got a wondering look in her eyes. "You're the best friend anybody could ever have."
"You are. But thanks for finally figuring it out."
"You're welcome, ass." She giggled softly, then touched the screen again. "Is it weird that I wish I could reach through here and be there with you?"
"No."
That look in her eyes...
Suddenly, my door slammed open and the moment was shattered. Alice came barreling in.
"Alice is here, Bella. Better put your clothes back on."
"Oh, okay."
Alice stopped in her tracks, her blue eyes wide.
I laughed. "I'm kidding, Al."
She scrunched her nose. "Gross." Then her face relaxed into a small smile. "Can I talk to Bella?"
"Hmm, I don't know, Al. I guess it's up to Bella. I don't know if she'd want to talk to a dweeb like you."
"Shut up, Edward, and move over." She didn't give me a chance to, jumping on the bed and scooting into my spot while giving me a mouthful of spiky black hair.
"Pllffft, Alice! You could have just moved the computer!"
But she didn't hear me. She was telling Bella a story she'd heard from her friends and telling her how pretty she looked. Bella blushed at this.
I sat behind Al and watched my girls talk. Every few seconds, Bella would look back at me, her smile from Alice's stories always brightening a little more when she did. I never stopped watching her.
I knew then that I loved her, and did for a long time previous. It didn't feel like the overpowering, crushing love that you'd expect. It was the kind of love that you feel when you look at your best friend and get a squeezing feeling in your chest over her, and want to kiss her and hold her when she cries and hold her just because you want to and make a ridiculous trip to Niagara Falls because it's an inside joke and deserves to be carried out.
Loving Bella felt like that. I hoped one day I could show her.
~0~
I followed Bella up the narrow steps to her apartment. It was one in the morning, so we were trying to be quiet for any sleeping patrons, but I don't think we were doing a very good job. I couldn't keep my hands off her, which was distracting her from making a safe path up the steps. We kept stumbling and giggling and causing a ruckus.
When we finally reached her door, she pulled out a key and I wrapped my arms around her waist. My hands traveled a similar path as they had earlier.
She sucked in a breath, her grip tightening on the keys, making them rattle. "If you keep doing that, we'll never get inside."
I kissed the spot on the back of her neck, then licked it. She shuddered. "Okay, but I hope you know I plan to fully use the empty apartment to our advantage."
She quickly opened the door and pulled me in, barely having any time to remove the key in the lock before I slammed it shut with my foot.
I pushed her up against the wall, her hands raking through my hair and my mouth all over hers. My hands traveled south, reaching her ass. I pulled her against the line of my body and she moaned and rubbed against me. I answered back with my own sounds of pleasure.
She pulled back then. I loved the way she looked right now with red cheeks and puffy lips and bedroom eyes. "Edward... I need— I need—"
She didn't have to say anything else. I locked the door and had her lead me down the hall. I couldn't not touch her on the way there. Her hair, her shoulder, her arms, her full hips, her small waist. We dumped our coats and shoes in the hallway and at her doorway, she turned around and tugged me by my shirt into the room. Then she took it off me.
She ran her hands up and down my torso, and hell if it didn't get me even more aroused. She leaned up to my ear, purposely rubbing her breasts on my chest. "I've wanted to touch you this way for so long."
I pulled her shirt off and lay her on the bed. "How long?" I asked, and leaned down to on suck the skin swelling over her bra.
Her hands went to my hair again and she arced into me. "Since sophomore year in high school. Since that first time we..."
I kissed my way up to her mouth and whispered on her lips. "Me too."
"Is that weird?" she whispered back.
I kissed her deeply, then said, "Never."
I unhooked her bra and pulled it away, amazed at the exposed flesh that allowed me to fall into the abyss. What a beautiful creature, this woman.
She brought a hand up to my cheek, caressing it softly. I met her hooded brown eyes, lit with warmth and want and love.
"It's because it's you," she whispered.
We stared at each other in the moon illuminated darkness, and I thought, maybe I wouldn't be slipping into the abyss by myself.
I took the hand that was on my cheek and kissed it slowly; the palm, the wrist, each fingertip. I curled her fingers into a fist and put it to my mouth, looking at her like this was the last and first moment of my life.
"It's because it's us. It's because I love you. I love you so much."
She nodded, mouthing the word love, and then smiled. She kissed me.
Her hands ran down my back, pausing to massage the dips above my backside. It felt good. Then she pulled off my boxers, kicking them away with her feet.
I pulled away, my fingers making a hot trail from her neck over her breasts and pert nipples, down the soft, snowy field of her stomach, and stopping at the green silk panties she adorned. She whimpered at the loss of contact and I looked back up at her while playing with the edge of her underwear. Her chest heaved, and the wanting look on her face as she watched me grew more intense. Her hips bucked up, begging. I pulled them off.
I kissed and licked and nipped my way back up to her, only pausing at certain checkpoints I knew would drive her crazy: under her knee, her right hip bone over the small black star tattoo, each tit, the loose skin where her chest met her arm, her belly button, the underside of her breasts, the dip in her throat. The crevice between her thigh and her center.
A deep sound resonated from within her. "Have I mentioned that you drive me crazy?"
I chuckled. "I just know what you like."
"You know what I'd like? I'd like the best sex of my life, and I'd like it now please."
I positioned myself over her, and she wrapped her legs around me eagerly, desperately rubbing the length of me against her.
I groaned into her mouth and her arms wrapped securely across my shoulders, trying to find purchase on my skin as I pushed into her, not bothering to stop for a condom. I knew she was on the pill. I knew everything about her.
She gasped against my mouth, her eyebrows screwing up to match the height of her pleasured sounds. In this close space, I could notice things I hadn't seen on her before. Like how one eyebrow was infinitesimally lower than the other, and her right eye had slightly more eyelashes than the left, and on her upper lip in the left corner was a small freckle. Being in this state, everything felt heightened and clearer, and being able to see her like this only made me appreciate her more.
In my perusal of her, I hadn't noticed she'd opened her eyes. She scratched my back and arced and squeezed, but her eyes stayed on mine. I leaned down to rest our parted lips together, and breathed in her scent, tasted it, and breathed mine back out, mingling with hers. Even in the middle of sex, this felt like the most sensual act I'd ever done.
"Edward. I'm close," she breathed into me.
"Me too," I grunted. I reached between us, rubbing her clit the way she told me how she liked it.
She whimpered, the strength of her fingers in my back intensifying.
And when we came undone together, our sounds twisting in the air with the essence of love and lust and belonging, a last, lone firework set off in the distance. We watched it, our breath rapid but slowing, until the last of it faded from the sky.
"Beautiful," she said, but she turned back to me as she said it and touched my face, making me know she didn't mean the firework.
I touched her face back. "You are."
~6~
As great as the beginning of senior year had been, the end of it was a big mess. I didn't notice it at first, but Bella had slowly started pulling away from me. I wasn't sure if it was just me she distanced herself from, but feeling like I was losing her was too much too bear.
But I was too cowardly to call her out on it.
We literally talked about everything. Hell, she knew my email password, which she had passed on to my mom to set up Skype. That had confused me back when we first used it, but she told me she'd been the one to tell my mom, and then I freaked and changed my password. Because my mom would definitely be nosy and snoop through my email.
And since we talked about everything, I decided to let her take her time to come around and tell me. And if she didn't want to, that was fine. It would hurt a little, but I wasn't going to ask her what was going on in fear that she'd pull away even more.
It was the Sunday of my high school graduation. I sat in the front row, happy that my last name was higher alphabetically. When I grabbed my diploma and shook the principles hand, the feeling of accomplishment at finally finishing the pit hole that is high school enveloped me. I smiled big at where my parents sat, seeing them grin with pride.
It took another good thirty or forty minutes to get through the line of kids. We were just lucky Forks High didn't have a very large graduating class, or else we'd be there for hours. The valedictorian Eric Yorkie gave his stuttering speech about branching off into new worlds and keeping old friends close and yahda yahda, and everyone clapped politely for him. Then the principle congratulated the class as a whole and there was that classic moment where we all scream and throw our ugly yellow hats in the air.
Mike and Jessica came up to me and we all patted each other's backs and my shop class buddies all clapped me on the shoulder, then my mother hugged me tight and ushered me outside to the car. We were heading to Port Angeles to celebrate.
I pulled out my phone to check the time when the screen lit up with an incoming call.
My brows furrowed and I answered it. "Hello? Bella?"
She hadn't talked to me in days. Not since Wednesday, and even then the conversation was stilted and awkward. I had hated it.
"Hey Edward."
I stiffened. Sadly, I knew that hollow lilt in her voice all too well.
"Bella, what's wrong?"
She breathed in deeply and began to say something. Then her voice broke off into sobs.
I turned around and gave my mom a wild look and held up a finger saying just a minute. She looked back, her eyebrows tensed and her frown worried. I pointed to an empty corner of the parking lot near the tree and she nodded.
"Bella, sweetheart, tell me what happened?"
Her voice shuddered and was high pitched with grief. "I've been so unfair to you, Edward! I'm so sorry!"
"Bella, it's okay."
"No it's not! I... I didn't mean to. I've been—I – it's to everyone. I haven't talked to anyone barely in weeks, and you— I'm— Argh!" She growled in frustration and the sound of a thump came through the phone. A fist on a hard surface?
"Hey, it's alright. Calm down. Take a deep breath."
She did so, and was quiet for a second before saying softly, "I know you've noticed it, and you've been too gracious to me—"
"No, really, whatever it is, it's—"
"No! Let me finish!" she shouted. I jumped. She'd never yelled at me before unless it was playful. "I'm sorry. Just... There's so much I have to tell you. Let me finish, please."
I nodded, then remembered she couldn't see me. "Okay."
"A month and a half ago, Grandpa had a heart attack. The bad part was he was alone, but Sparky was barking so much that the neighbors came over to see what was going on. We don't know how long he was down, but he got to the hospital in time. I was in school when it happened and left with my mom. When we got there, he didn't look like Grandpa. He looked like an old sick guy who hadn't just been rock climbing with me the day before. But he smiled and cracked a joke and it was fine for a little bit. We were kinda scared, but the doctor came in to tell us the prognosis and how to prevent future attacks. We brought him home to our house. He complained that he would be fine by himself, but we wouldn't let him."
Her voice got all choked up, and she whimpered, and I knew what was coming next. I didn't want to hear it, but it was like when you're watching a movie and the camera is in the main character's view point, and you see that truck coming up to his car but he doesn't, and you yell to watch out and he never does, and then the inevitable crash happens.
"He was fine for a while, back to his normal self, but he seemed different. It was like he was afraid there wasn't much time to do the things he wanted to do, and he rushed himself around to do them. He insisted on walking everywhere, saying it's good for his heart, but it may have been too much. One day I came home from school and he was in the living room with mom and she was yelling at him because he'd been gone so long without telling her or Dad where he went and that now he's gone and gotten a cold. He just waved her off, saying everything was fine." She sighed. "But then he got worse."
"The, um." She cleared her throat. "His cold turned into pneumonia the next week, and that was kind of when I started getting scared to talk to anyone. I couldn't... think about anything but Grandpa, and I visited him all the time, and I was trying to keep... to make him happy and not think about certain things – we were ignoring it the whole time, but I think we all knew he wasn't going to make it through – and I must not have been doing a good job because soon it was him who was comforting me. I kept it all to myself and didn't tell you because, I don't know, maybe I was scared that if I said it out loud it would happen? But I wish that I did tell you now. It was too much to handle by myself; and it hurt so much to keep inside me, but I just couldn't talk about it. I was so scared to put it into words and make it come true, and probably the only people I ever talked to was Grandpa and his and doctors. He just kept getting worse and it was so scary, Edward. He didn't look like himself.
"You and me, we have no secrets. You probably know me more than I do, as stupid as that sounds! But keeping all this from you for so long, it was hell. I didn't feel like me. I felt like some sad girl who didn't know what she was doing anymore, and you're the brightest part of my day! You just exude brightness! But for the first time ever, it was too much for me. I didn't want you to make me smile when I was so depressed. It was miserable. You know that next to you, Grandpa is the closest person I have in my life. Just thinking about losing him, I—!" She was crying again.
I couldn't stay quiet any longer; it physically hurt. But I was at a loss for words. I was in that awkward situation where you are on the outside of someone else's grief, and you just love this person so much that you want to take all of their pain away into yourself, but have no idea how to. She was thousands of miles away, and we were only connected through the line of a cell phone. I couldn't take her in my arms and dry her tears and share her burden with touch. All I had were my words. So why, in the moments where words are needed the most, do they escape me?
I swallowed. "Bella."
All I did was say her name, and she sobbed harder. "I'm so sorry, Edward! God, how I've missed you. I wish I'd never distanced myself. This, I needed this. I didn't know I did; it feels great to dump this out, but extremely shitty at the same time."
She sniffed, and then went on. "I guess you know what happened. Gramps got worse. He passed away a couple days ago."
There was a stone in my chest. Bella talked about her grandfather all the time, and hearing that the kind hearted old man I looked up to so much wasn't happily roaming the streets of New York anymore made me wilt with dread. I'd never met the man of course, but I felt the pain of his loss, and of Bella's loss.
"Today was the funeral. I skipped graduation yesterday. I'll get my diploma at the office or something, I guess." She wasn't crying anymore, not that I could hear, but her voice was tight and quiet. "We're at the reception. My dad told everyone that the party isn't a time to grieve over his death, it's to celebrate his life. Then everyone started telling stories about him, and I felt so angry at his relatives he hadn't seen in years. They just think that because they're family by blood they don't have to visit every once in a while, but as soon as someone dies they're allowed to care about him? What the fuck even is that? They don't deserve to mourn him! They're selfish!"
"Bella, they lost him too."
"But they weren't there, Edward! They weren't there to see him die!" She gasped and choked out her words. "They weren't there for him at all when he was sick, let alone when he was on his death bed. I was! I... I watched him and held his hand when he was dying. I watched him, and he smiled at me and closed his eyes and I thought maybe he was about to crack a joke or something, and then his heart monitor flat lined. And I looked back and forth between him and it, and it was probably like less than a minute, but it was the scariest and longest moment in my life. And the nurses and doctors rushed in and pulled me out and it was so fucking quiet in the hallway. And all I could do for hours was stare at the wall and think about how I was the last person he ever saw before dying. And then I felt terrible for being happy that I was."
I didn't realize that during her story I'd sat down next to a mossy tree trunk and had roughly dug my fingers into the dirt. I pulled my hand out and stared at it. A tear fell through the ugly brown mess.
"I left the reception and I'm talking to you in a hall closet. It's dark in here, I don't know where the light switch is. But I like it. Talking to you in the dark has always been my favorite. You feel closer."
I sighed. "I know, for me too... Bella, I'm so sorry."
She laughed, but it was the kind of laugh that you know is just to make the other person feel better. My heart squeezed. "Everyone is sorry. And sad. I'm sorry too, but mostly for not speaking to you, and I guess for ruining your graduation."
"You remembered."
"Of course I did. I remember everything. Which is why I hesitated on calling you. I didn't wanna' ruin your day with my shit. But I couldn't keep it in any longer."
"No, it's okay. I'm glad you called. I missed you too. I wanted to know what was making you so sad all the time. Thank you for telling me."
"Of course. You're my best friend."
"You are."
Is it possible to hear a smile through the phone? I think I could.
"Okay, well I better get back to the reception. Maybe now I can actually stand to be in the same room as Aunt Bram." She made a disgusted sound and I laughed. She hated Aunt Bram. That bitch had a voice that could crack plastic, it was so annoying.
"Yeah, I gotta' go too. My parents and I are going to lunch."
"For your graduation?"
"Yeah."
"Congratulations again. That shit is all behind us. Fucking finally, right?"
"Oh God, I know."
"I'll talk to you later, Edward. Love ya."
I smiled. "Bye Bella. Love ya too." That was our usual parting, and I didn't really know if she meant the sentiment the way I meant it, but I loved when she said it anyway.
~0~
Light pierced through the plastic blinds, casting long lines all across Bella's room. A couple reached her back where she lay on my chest. I ran a finger down each, and then perpendicular to them, imagining my finger burning a crisscross pattern on her skin.
Her arms tightened around me and her toes curled against my calf. "That tickles," she said, somewhere between a dreary mumble and a lazy laugh. I kept it up, hoping to hear it again.
She laughed more of that gorgeous sound, so I started outright tickling her. She squirmed on top of me, and my fingers only ceased when she used her lips against mine to stop me.
I moaned and pressed up, immediately ready for her.
She replied with a moan and repeated my ministrations, so I was surprised when she stopped my hand from traveling lower.
She pulled back reluctantly, glancing from the bedside clock to me with an apologetic expression. "Sorry, but I know you have to go soon. You're going to be late."
I barely heard her; my attention was elsewhere. On her long neck, the redness of her full lips, the way her hair tumbled around us messily like a cage, hair that was the product of what we did last night. What we did multiple times, actually.
I reached out and touched it. It was just as soft as it had been the night prior.
"Edward?"
I moved my hand to her face. "Yeah…? What. No, stay."
I pulled her close and rolled over, smooshing her to the mattress.
"Edward!" she giggled, the sound muffled by my chest.
"Staaaaay."
"You gotta gooooo."
"Nooooo."
She huffed and was quiet for a second, then she turned to me with a wicked gleam in her eye. I cocked an eyebrow at her.
She leaned up and kissed me fervently, relentlessly. I was under her power as she pushed my chest up and over and straddled my hips.
She had the most delicious, sexy look in her eyes.
And then she jumped off the bed and ran to the hall bathroom with her robe.
"You wench! You will rue the day!" I called after her, and her laugh could be heard through the door. I smiled.
I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life.
I was in the middle of pulling on a pair of boxers when I realized the time. Shit, I was gonna be late. I scratched my head, wondering how long it'd take Bella to shower before I could use it. I couldn't show up smelling like a sex fest.
I looked at the door, then back at the clock, then at my clothes. I guess I could just...
I dropped the boxers and headed towards the bathroom stark naked. Thank God Rose and Angela said they'd be gone. I don't think our friendships were at that level yet.
I pulled the door open, and Jesus Bella takes some hot ass showers. The whole room was steamed.
"You gonna leave any hot water for the rest of the building or what?"
She squealed, and the sound of bar soap hitting the shower floor echoed through the bathroom. "Um..."
I laughed. "Move over. And turn the heat down. You're skin's going to turn red."
I opened the shower door to Bella's surprised, blushing face.
"Well, more red than it already is." I smirked.
She stared at me for a second, then turned the nozzle down and stepped aside.
She shivered. "It's too cold."
"For someone who's lived in New York their entire life, you sure have a weird sense of what's cold and what's not."
"Only when it comes to showers," she grumbled.
I wrapped my arms around her. "Better?"
She smiled, leaning her head on my shoulder.
I reached down for the soap and scrubbed her clean, then her me. It could have easily become sexual, but I just felt the need to take care of her in that moment, and I suppose she felt that way too. Besides, I'd be late. And if we got into it now, there's no fucking way I'd be able to leave.
We stepped out and dried, and I kissed her after fluffing her hair through a towel. She beamed at me through the tangled mess. I loved that smile.
I made breakfast (well, I made scrambled eggs and bacon) and waited for her at the breakfast bar between the kitchen and living room. I loved these things. I'd always insisted on eating at the one at my mom's house when I was little. The tall bar chair made me feel like a giant back then. I hoped to build one as soon as the new shop got set up.
I looked around the living room while I ate. The blue couch was the prominent piece, and rather eye catching. In a bad way. It was comfy, but really ugly. You could tell just by looking at it that it had memories.
What really intrigued me though was the mahogany coffee table. Next to the stereo system, it had to be the most expensive thing in the apartment. I got up for a closer look.
It looked so familiar. It looked like...
I peered under the table and was met with a gold painted letter carving.
E. C. Furniture
"You found me out, I see."
I jumped up quickly like I'd been caught doing something I shouldn't. She was leaning her hip on the hallway entrance with her arms folded like a scolding parent, but the shy smirk on her face made her posture seem less intimidating. Her usual messy side bun and I Love Lucy shirt I sent her two Christmases ago helped as well. I tried to hide my silly grin.
I looked back at the coffee table I'd made a couple years back. I remembered thinking how it would look great in an elegant waiting room or in the front room of a model home. I hadn't noticed it the other times I perused the room, but the table was far too fancy for the apartment. Its showiness was subdued by the hulking blue couch, but a good look at it showed it didn't belong. Really nothing in the room went together, but I kind of liked that.
"I bought that under Rosalie's name. I knew that if I bought it myself, you'd see the sending address and the order info and whatnot, and I wanted it to be a surprise for when you finally came to see me. That look on your face is priceless." She shook her head and walked up to me, putting her hands on my face. Mine involuntarily went to her hips.
She kissed me, and I was about to really get into it when she pulled back.
She wrinkled her nose up. "Your mouth tastes like bacon. Gross. Go brush your teeth, then pack up and get going." She took a step back and slapped my ass in the direction of the hall.
On my way out, I stopped, then reached into the front pocket of my case. Bella watched me curiously from where she sat eating her breakfast. I pulled out a square of sandpaper and shoved her door open roughly.
"What are you doing? I mean, why do you have that?" I felt her walk up behind me as I began sanding the stuck part of her door frame. She watched the muscles and tendons in my arm stand out appreciatively.
"Well, I had already shipped all of the stuff from the old shop, but I found a sheet of sandpaper crammed under the front desk when I was cleaning out the drawers, and there was no point in wasting it, so I cut it up and stuck it in my suit case."
"They let you bring sandpaper on airplanes? There's no rule about that?"
"Apparently not."
I tested the door a couple times, and when it opened and closed smoothly, I smiled down at her. She kissed me in thanks.
Before descending the stairs, she called to me. I turned with one foot on the next step.
"When I come over to your new apartment later, I have a surprise for you okay?"
"Is it a sexy surprise?"
She laughed. "No, but I think you'll like it." Her eyes were bright with excitement, but she had an anxiousness about her that had nothing to do with coming to my apartment.
I grinned to ease her a bit. "Okay. I'll see you later. I love you."
She hid her face behind her newly sanded door way, but I could still see the lifting of her cheeks and the blush. I must have looked kinda dumb coming out into the streets and walking all the way to the bus stop with my huge smile, but I didn't really care.
I needed to meet up with the guy I was buying my new shop from. It was a nice, open studio in the Lower East Side. I already had most of the things needed for owning the studio, like the keys and security codes and stuff, but he wanted a real meeting before the final signing off for the place. The guy had used it as his photo studio, but then he went crazy and was sent to rehab. He didn't sound crazy when I talked to him on the phone about buying his studio; maybe a bit loopy with his speech, but not enough to be sent to rehab. And then he asked me if my pet donkey dick knew how to change the batteries in a smoke alarm.
The studio had big windows in the front, and was sandwiched between a book store/coffee shop and a law firm. I thought about how Bella would love that book store. She could go to write or read, and then come visit me at the shop to keep me company. And now I have to stop thinking about this because fantasies about having sex with her on whatever piece of furniture I'd be making are manifesting in my mind.
I opened the glass front door to find Mr. Daisy standing at the back arch widow with his hands to his head making moose antlers at people passing by. He insisted on me calling him Mr. Daisy, even though I knew his real name. He started honking like a moose then at the passersby and I decided it was time to make my presence known.
I cleared my throat and he whirled around. He smiled at me under the brown handlebar mustache he was trying to grow and honked a greeting. He walked up and bent over, offering to buck hand antlers.
"Um, no thanks."
He honked in protest, but stood up and dropped his hands.
"So, you have the papers I can sign right?" He nodded and clambered to a desk off to the left. A thick set of papers for me to read and sign sat next to a disposable ball pen.
He sidled really close to me. "I'm really into moose right now. Want to see the pictures I took of some?" He offered up an expensive looking camera strapped to his neck. I noticed he would randomly touch it like he was afraid it wasn't there anymore.
"No thank you."
He flicked through his moose photo gallery anyway. "Aren't they adorable?!"
I tried not to be rude and sat down to look through the papers, and Mr. Daisy went back to honking at people.
Eventually he started taking pictures. He would take pictures of the dumbest things: the office door hinge, a dust bunny, the corner of a torn tablecloth, the ceiling, the floorboards, me signing papers, the feet of the metal stools, his hand on the window.
I wondered why any of this stuff had significance to him, so I asked him.
"Hey Mr. Daisy, why are you taking pictures of a bunch of stuff?"
He looked up suddenly from his camera screen to me. It seemed he forgot I was here and was looking at only a reflection of me in the room. "I can't forget." His face was surprised and slightly sad and pleading. "No no, I can't forget. Important. Favorite things. Memories."
His eyes moved slowly across the whole room, solemn and watery. I got it then that he would really miss his studio, and he was taking pictures so he'd never forget it. I bet he really loved it here.
I watched him a little longer, then asked "What's your favorite about that door hinge?"
His face lit up and he walked to the office door. His hand lingered lovingly in the door and his eyes traveled to another time. "My daughter always had to stay in the office when she was little. She would get bored and color all over the other side of the door. I didn't mind, I love her drawings. The door is gone, but the hinges are the same. Look, there is still some marker on them. Can you see?"
I couldn't, but I said I did. He was locked in the perks of nostalgia and I didn't want to ruin it for him.
"Why the stools?"
"I will miss their sound. When I pull back a stool, I am about to work on my photos."
"What about me signing papers?" I gestured down to the signed stack.
He walked around the desk and looked down at them. "Looks like me when I bought it first." He stared at them blankly for a second, then snatched up his side of the deal papers.
I picked up mine and faced him, not really sure how to leave properly. I was suddenly feeling bad about buying what seemed like this guy's second home.
He held out a hand and I shook it, then he suddenly pulled me close for a hug. It felt kind of weird because I didn't really know this guy, and his camera was jamming into my stomach, but I humored him. When he pulled back, there were tears in his mustache.
"I ate my twin in the womb."
"Cool... Take care, Mr. Daisy."
"You too, Ed Wart."
I left through the front and him through the back, making moose hands at me in parting. I did it back and laughed.
Waiting at the bus stop, I looked over the papers again. Not because I might have missed something, but because now the papers signified that I owned the studio. And I could officially move the shop into it whenever I want. And it would be great because I could do what I love and be with who I love.
And it's just so great.
I took the bus to Chinatown, sitting on the right window seat in the middle of the bus. I always liked the middle of the bus because you can see where you're going just as equally as where you've been. I always thought that was important, to have a look ahead but to appreciate where you've been before, physically and metaphorically. It's wonderful to watch the city form from modern night life to a bright red, pulsating turmoil of Chinese culture. You can literally see when it starts happening. My favorite part about Chinatown was the paper lanterns. They were so delicate and perfectly made, but shown with the intention of having everyone look at them. I think I'll buy one and put it in my apartment.
I rested my forehead on the window and thought how different the animated life outside looked compared to the cold, fluorescent light in the bus. Besides the bus driver and I, there were five other people on here. An old man in a suit sat at the front behind the driver, nervously tapping his cane. I smiled, wondering if he was a business man or going to meet a certain someone or just felt like looking snazzy for a night. There was a young couple in the back, making out like their lives depended on it. The girl looked at the guy like he was the only person in the world, but he didn't look at her that way. A girl about the age of twelve sat across the aisle from me, her head against the window in a similar pose as mine. I wondered what she was thinking. And the last person was a middle aged woman with chin length, wavy auburn hair. It reminded me of my grandma's when she used to color it. She was watching intently out the front window when she jumped to her feet, trying to reach the driver.
I love the middle of the bus because you can see where you're going just as equally as where you've been. Except when it turns corners.
There was a loud symphony of car horns and then the bus jerked forward on the brake. A thump vibrated through the whole metal frame. That split second of silence that always happens right after a terrible accident was deafening. And then everyone came to life and rushed around like rushing around would do anything.
I got up to see what happened. We must have hit someone.
I passed the middle aged woman as she trampled down the steps muttering oh dear, oh dear over and over. The front window was grimy and in need of a wash, but I could see perfectly who lay on the street surrounded by strewn papers. My fist tightened around the legal documents that didn't feel new anymore.
I jumped down the stairs and shoved people out of my way. "If you're all just going to stand there, I hope you called a fucking ambulance! Bella!"
I fell down to her side, turning her head around. There was no blood, but her body was limp and her breathing shallow. I pulled her close to me, and somehow the sound of tears hitting paper pushed through the roaring in my ears. I looked down.
Faded black letters melted into the page. The one next to it was in pencil and another in green pen. The papers varied from old and slightly torn to new and still white.
All of them except one started the same way: Dear Bella.
Yeah, I hate myself too.
I'm listening to "Summer Again" by The Afters. Good song, ugh. Reminds me of Sam and Grace from Shiver. Good book, ugh.
Reviews are better than gimmeing all your booty.