Well…. This chapter is extremely long. So if you don't have a lot of time… I suggest that you wait until you do. In the future I will try to make the chapters shorter… unless you like them this length.
I know that most people say goodbye to their family and friends at this time, but I don't want to. I just can't stand the thought of everyone crying and saying how terrible it is that I was reaped. I mean, I already knew it would happen… you had to be an idiot or completely oblivious not to see it. So when I reach the goodbye room, instead of going in and waiting for my family, I sit in the hallway outside of the room. Visitors enter through another hallway, so I know that no one will bother me here. Now isn't the time to be sad or to console others, now is the time that I strategize.
Since I made myself seem so pathetic during the reapings, I will be seen as weak and an easy target to all the other tributes. During the train ride to the Capitol, all the tributes watch the reapings. They are the first time you see your opponents, the first time you are shown to the capitol, and the time that most tributes start to strategize. I'm ahead of the game; I've been strategizing for a while now, secretly.
I still need to hold up the act, otherwise my district partner, if not others, will get suspicious. I can't afford for that to happen. So, of course, I need to appear like I was crying when they come to retrieve me. That's not too hard.
I can cry whenever I want, It's a skill I've picked up over the years. All you have to do is think of something sad. For me, I think about my family… Especially Emma. I have known her all my life, she is the only family I have left, and I just can't stand the thought of losing her. I'd be truly alone if that happened, and I would have to be put in an orphanage.
I stare off for a few minutes, thinking about everything and nothing. I glance at the clock. 3:55 they will be coming to get me soon, so I need to start the act now. I really should stay in character at all times… you never know when someone could walk in.
I start to think about Emma being reaped instead of me, and almost instantly tears are streaming down my face. I rub my eyes for good measure and hug my knees to my chest. I'm not actually too sad; I have just learned to trigger tears at slightly sad thoughts. I mean, I know that it would be impossible for Emma to be reaped… she is too old for that.
I hear a door opening, so quietly I question if a door was actually opened. I glance up and see Soul, my district partner, staring at me with a look somewhere between embarrassment, pity, and shock. I look down at the floor and wipe away my tears, only to cry more. I should be an actress…
"I… uh… are you ok?" He asks quietly, taking a few steps forward, only to stop in his tracks when I scoot back until I'm in the corner, at which his face contorts to look of hurt and worry. "Hey, I'm not going to hurt you." He adds.
I look at him and get up slowly before looking back down at the floor, "I-I know." I mumble before adding "I'm just scared… my… my brother d-died a few years ago in the games. I don't want t-to die"
He nods, not saying anything, and closes the space between us, hugging me in the way an older brother would. I flinch but do not push him away. It's comforting… almost. The fact that I could be killing him, or, even worse, he could be killing me in a few weeks just ruins the comfort to some extent.
I hear another door open, no where near as quiet as Soul was. "There you guys are! Come on, we have to go to the train! You guys will love it… it's an opportunity most people in your district do not get the honor of experiencing…. Well don't just stand there, Come on!" our capitol escort says in that high pitched voice of hers. I swear I have to fight the urge to punch her.
Soul nods, leaving an arm around my shoulder and leaning down to whisper, "I don't think it's worth it… and I'm not sure if I think this because of the fact that the train is taking us to the capitol… or the fact that she will be on the train with us."
I smile slightly and we walk forward towards the doors that will lead us back into district that we will probably never see again. When we reach our escort, she grabs my hand and leads us through the doors.
The first thing I see are my friends and Emma, all wearing slight frowns, obviously upset that I didn't talk to them in the goodbye rooms. I almost feel bad, but they aren't the ones going to the Capitol's hell, better known as the arena. I keep my eyes on the ground in front of me until we board the train.
I have to admit that the inside of the train is impressive, but I don't really care about that right now. Soon I will see my competition for the first time; I will finally know what I am up against. I will get to see myself, so I can know if my performance was believable or if I have already messed up the plan.
"Sweetie are you alright? Is it too much for you?" Our capitol escort asks… I think her name is Evanna. She really needs to stop talking or she will make me blow my cover.
I nod slowly, looking around before shaking my head and snapping my attention back to her.
"Well that's good; your room is the first one on the right. I changed it around a little while you were saying goodbye. I think you will like it… why don't you get changed into something more comfortable? Dinner will be soon!"
I smile and say quietly, "Thank you" before turning and walking to my room, opening the door slowly.
What. The. Hell?!
My room looks like a unicorn puked all over it. Its pink… bubblegum pink, and sparkly. My escort is trying to make me break out of my act, I swear she is. It gets worse though. The shower settings are changed. Bubblegum, Vanilla, cupcake, and sugar cookie soaps and shampoos replace the lemon ones I had heard about from Sephoria, the victor from a few years ago.
The worst part of all, however, is the clothes. Since I am so small, I guess I still wear what the capitol calls 'children sizes' The closet is filled with Pastel color dresses and skirts that are covered in sparkles, flowers, bows, and hearts. I can't stand any of it! But I have to stay in character, so I pick out a pair of PJ shorts that are covered in hearts and a white shirt with bows on the sleeves and a cat in the center.
Just as I have finished changing, I hear a light knock on the door. "Come in" I say sweetly, and the door opens slowly. Soul walks into my room and instantly bursts out laughing. "She really made your room… colorful didn't she?" He asks.
"I like it!" I exclaim as I sit down on the edge of the bed.
"I'm sure you do. Just like you love the clothes they gave you? I have to admit though… Evanna loves you. Anyway, Dinner is ready. Also, I met the mentor, I'm sure you have met her before… she was from the year that the girl they reaped had killed herself. I don't see the point in that… the girl made a stupid choice" He says, a look of disgust apparent on his face as he says the last part.
I instantly start crying, covering my face with my hands.
"Hey… what did I say?" He asks, sitting on the bed next to me.
"That girl… her name was Rose. She was my best friend's sister… and she killed herself because she knew she was going to get reaped and she didn't want to put Mabel, my best friend, through the pain of watching her die some horrible death in the arena." I say, sniffling and occasionally stuttering.
"Oh…" That's all he can say. Oh. Yeah, who feels stupid now?
"Yeah… I'll be out in a minute…" I mumble and stand up, heading to the bathroom.
"Ok… See you at dinner" He replies as he exits my room.
I wash my face and then put my hair in pigtails before walking out of the bathroom and wandering over to the dining room.
When I walk into the room, three people look at me, looks of concern evident on their faces.
"Hey Lacey, how are you?" Our mentor, Sephoria, asks. Of all the people here I trust her the most. I talked to her often back in the districts. Don't get me wrong… I don't actually trust anyone, but if I had to, I would trust her.
"Hey Sephie, I'm alright, somewhat." I reply
"Sephie? Sweetie its Sephoria!" Evanna exclaims
"She can call me Sephie, It's what she always calls me" Sephoria replies, glaring at our escort.
"Oh…ok." Evanna says, blushing slightly.
I sit down next to Soul and take a roll of bread, nibbling on it and taking a sip of water.
"Sweetie! You have to eat more than that! Do you always eat so little? I'm surprised you haven't starved yet!" Evanna says as she puts two chicken legs on my plate and a piece of corn on the cob.
"Uh… thanks? I'm not really hungry though" I mumble, eyeing the corn suspiciously
"You have to eat though! When was the last time you ate?" She asks.
"Two days ago I had a couple pieces of bread." I reply, suddenly feeling very self conscious.
She gasps "Two days ago!? That isn't good sweetie. You need to eat! I am not letting you leave the table until you eat!"
Soul chuckles and leans over, whispering "She probably acts more motherly than your mom does, and I somehow doubt she understands anything about what it's like to live in the districts."
I frown and pick at the food in front of me, eating a little bit of it, just enough to get Evanna off of my case.
Dinner goes by slowly. People ask me questions or try to talk to me, and I just ignore them, never looking up from my plate.
It's Soul who puts it all together. His face pales, and he looks at me with a slightly haunted look before whispering, barely audible to me, and probably not heard by the other people at the table, "Oh god, Lacey…your mom is dead… isn't she? Just like your brother and that girl you knew, Rose… I'm so sorry for all the comments I've made. Oh god you must hate me! I'm sorry! I'm sooo sorry! Wait… those aren't the only people you know that are dead. Lacey, how many people do you know that are dead?"
There it is; the question I dreaded answering and the one that makes me want to stop acting, because after I answer it, he will feel bad for me, more than he already does. I want to show everyone that I am stronger than that, that I am not broken because of who I have lost. That I can survive, and that I don't need to be treated like a child. But that isn't the plan. That isn't what my mom would want me to do. I have to keep up the act, no matter what.
I nod slightly and reply, my voice quivering and tears forming in my eyes, "You are right. She… my mom… is dead. And yes, my brother and Rose aren't the only other people that are dead. My dad, Mabel's parents, her brother, and her sister, and my baby sister Lyla… they are all... dead. I live with Mabel and my older sister Emma. Mabel… she is going to get reaped next year, or the year after that. I don't know exactly what year it will be, but she will get reaped. I'm going to die, and then she is going to have to take terrasae. More than she already is forced to take. Since she doesn't have lumber or something to give to the capitol, they make her put her name in 10 extra times each year without getting any food. Then there are the two slips she will get in return for food… then the one because she is 12. So 15 papers with her name on them her first year. Fifteen. That is twelve more than me. But when she is 13, her name will be in the reaping ball 26 times. By 18… her name will be in the reaping ball… 91 times. Ninety-one times! That is the highest number ever. She might as well volunteer… I can't stand the thought of her going to the Games. I'd rather die over and over again."
He says nothing, obviously not knowing what to say to that.
"Are you done with dinner sweetie? It's almost time to watch reapings!" Evanna says, the big smile on her face telling me that she didn't hear what Soul and I just talked about.
I don't respond. I instead, I stand up and push my chair in before walking out of the room. I look around for a minute before I see a clear door. As I walk towards it, it opens, causing me to jump back. I didn't touch the door! Why did it open?
I hear someone chuckle behind me and I turn around to see Sephoria, who is grinning and shaking her head slightly.
"It's called an automatic door. They open on their own… get used to it, they are all over the capitol."
"Oh… ok."
"Lacey… we need to talk later. Ok? I'll come by your room." She says, the look of seriousness making me curious. What does she want to talk to me about?
I nod and walk through the 'automatic doors.' There is enough furniture for a whole neighborhood back home! There are at least 12 different chairs and sofas, and a couple tables, and a TV, something I hadn't seen up close before. I stand there for a moment, staring in awe at the room in front of me before shaking my head to clear it and sitting down slowly on the light green floor.
Soon Evanna, Sephoria, and Soul walk in along with a few other people I didn't know. They all sit in chairs, except for Sephoria, who sits next to me.
We all sit in silence for a moment before the screen flickers to life, making me flinch.
The capitol emblem appears on the screen and after a few seconds President Snow's, the new President of Panem, face replaces it. I have to fight the urge to growl and kick the screen until it goes black. God I hate him.
"Welcome citizens of Panem. I hope that you are all as excited as I am for this year's Hunger Games. Remember that they are not only for entertainment, but to reminder the districts of the dark days, and that the Capitol will always be in control. To remind you that we are still kind, one lone victor will return to their districts each year. Tributes, I wish you Happy Happy Hunger Games… And may the odds be ever in your favor during the 33rd annual Games!"
With that, it cuts to the district 1 reapings. This is it, the first appearance of all my competitors.
I don't really pay attention to the escort as he rambles on and on about the dark days, but instantly focus when he says, "Ladies first!"
As he slowly pulls a name out of the reaping ball, I can't help but bite my lip. District 1 is a career district, so I know that they will have a ton of Volunteers.
"Fla…"
"I VOLUNTEER!" a chorus of female voices yell.
"I VOLUNTEER!" a voice screams out, seconds after everyone else and louder than all the other voices combined
"Oh! It seems that we have a volunteer!" The escort exclaims, pointing to the girl who had screamed last.
The girl grins happily and steps out of the 18's section. The moment she does, everyone from her district bursts out laughing. She runs up to the stage and takes the mike from the escort. "My name is Flame Brookmyre, and I am going to make all of you proud!" She exclaims a big smile on her face as she hands the mike back to the escort.
"Uh… sweetheart, you volunteered for yourself" The escort says slowly, causing the girl to blush and everyone to laugh again.
"Well… I had to make sure that none of the other girls volunteered for me" She says and flips her pretty blonde hair over her shoulder, her strength and bloodlust obvious in her bright hazel eyes. She smiles, but it comes off as a smile of a predator, vicious and menacing, which may be what she was going for.
"Ok then, now for the boys!" The escort exclaims as he reaches into the male reaping ball.
"Cameron Colt" He yells, obviously surprised that he didn't get interrupted.
A boy steps out of the 14's section with a smirk on his face. He saunters, yes saunters onto the stage.
"Any volunteers?" The escort asks, trying to keep the look of shock off of his face. The 14 year old next to him glares at the 18 year old pen, mentally threatening them and making it clear that he will be the male tribute for district 1.
"Ok then! District 1, I give you Flame Brookmyre and Cameron Colt, your tributes in the 33rd annual Hunger Games!"
The two shake hands and smile at the crowd before walking into the Justice Building.
The rest of the reapings go about the same way. Except out side of 1, 2, and 4, there aren't as many volunteers. I watch intently, analyzing each tribute as they walk onto the stage. When my own reaping is played, I try not to grin as I watch myself sob on the screen. There is no way anyone who didn't know me could have seen through that performance.
I take mental notes about each tribute so later tonight when I am in my room alone, I can write it all down. Every little thing that I noticed will be put on paper so that I don't forget it.
When the reapings are over, I yawn and say that I am going to take a shower and go to sleep. When I stand up, I notice that Sephoria stands up too, and when she stands up, Soul stands up looking at me with a worried expression. Oh joy… I have a lot of people to talk to tonight.
A few moments after I enter my room, I hear two voices talking in the hall, right outside of my room. I quietly walk over and press my ear to the door.
"… worried about her, she isn't going to make it past the bloodbath. I really want her to win… She needs to win. Her family… I'm sure you know about them, and she is so young… She hasn't even lived yet. Please, she needs to go home." A male voice says. Soul. He is the only guy on the train… and even though I have only known him for a few hours, I feel like I could recognize his voice anywhere.
"I know. I really want her to go home too. I feel like she's my little sister. But you are right… She isn't going to survive the bloodbath. I've seen her around the district; she can't even pick up an axe. I don't know what to do Soul, as much as I would like to help you." A person that could only be Sephoria replies.
"If… If I can get her through the bloodbath, will you promise to do everything in your power to help her? I'll protect her for as long as I can, but in order of her to win, I will have to die. And you saw those tributes; it's a stronger group this year. Maybe they are not all physically stronger, but some are mentally stronger, maybe even emotionally stronger. You saw the reapings; she was the only one to show an emotion other than happiness. They had 7 volunteers this year, and only 4 of them were careers. The guys all seem bigger this year, and the smaller girls all seem either really clever or like they are hiding something. I know it's a lost cause… but I need to at least try." He says, an edge of desperation creeping into his voice.
"I'll try… but what can I do? I'm not in the arena with you guys, I can't fend off other tributes."
"I know you hate to admit it, but the Capitol loves you. Sponsors, they can change the odds of a person in the Games. Don't waste any of the sponsor money on me, unless it will indirectly help her. Please, just do whatever you can. If… if I can save her, then I'll die happy. She doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve to die… please… just... please."
The last few words of what Soul says come out as a whisper.
I can't see her, but I can tell that she nodded, "Alright. Now, I know you want to talk to her… So I'll see you later Soul."
I walk silently back to my bed and sit on the edge, taking my necklace off and turning it in my hands slowly waiting for Soul to knock. When he does I say, "Come in" just loud enough that it can be heard through the door, never looking up from the necklace in my hands.
I don't hear the door open, and for a moment I think that he didn't hear me.
"Hi Lacey" He says quietly.
"Hi Soul, what's up?" I say just as quietly, setting the necklace down and finally looking up at him to see him hovering in the doorway.
"I just wanted to ask… are you ok?" He asks, looking down at the floor.
I nod slowly, "I'm fine…" laughing sadly before adding "I have accepted that I won't see our district again. I mean, you saw the other tributes, I don't have a chance. But… maybe it's better this way, I can be with my family again."
I look away as he stares at me, a look of disbelief and pain in his eyes. He crosses the room in a few quick strides and sits down next to me, grabbing my shoulders gently but just forcefully enough to make me look at him, at the pain in his eyes. "You aren't going to die. I won't let you. Ok? You aren't going to die." He whispers.
"Why? We both know that it's going to happen. Stop trying to make me believe things that aren't true. The sooner you accept it, the better. I'm the youngest person in the games… and the smallest… and obviously the weakest. Face the facts Soul; I am going to die in the games, just like every other 12 year old has."
"Don't talk like that Lacey. It's not true. The odds can change. They have to Lacey. They have to."
"They won't. Stop hoping that they will. They don't change. I'm going to die. If I can accept that, why can't you?"
"Dammit Lacey! We can change the odds! I'll kill every tribute in that arena if I have to.
You will go home!"
"Why? Why are you putting your life on the line to save mine?" I whisper, confused by his words.
"I… I don't know. You are so young, so sweet. You don't deserve to die. You haven't even lived yet! I don't know why… maybe it's because I know that it would kill me to know that I could have saved you… and instead I let you die. Or maybe it's because you are like the little sister I always wanted but never got. I don't know why Lacey, but I know that I would do anything to get you out of the arena alive. I… goodnight Lacey." He says, walking out of the room.
"Goodnight Soul" I whisper, well aware of the fact that he won't hear me.
I lay back on my bed for a minute, thinking about what Soul had said. I hadn't counted on anyone wanting to protect me. It throws my plan off. Can I really kill someone from my own district? Someone who sees me as a little sister? I have to, but if I do, will my district ever forgive me? I guess it actually doesn't matter… they will already hate me for the disturbing deaths that I have planned. They will think I am a monster. Why not add one more act to the list of monstrous things I will do? I will make his death quick though, but it will have to be near the beginning of the games, otherwise I will not be able to kill anyone, not while he is around, treating me like the little kid I am pretending to be.
I hear the sound of my door clicking shut, and I roll onto my side to see Sephoria, staring at me the same way that Soul had. "Ok, what's up? You never cry. Ever. And suddenly you are here, crying all the time. It's not you."
"I do cry. I just usually try to do it when I am alone. And did you ever think that maybe this is too much for me? So many people I knew so well have been here, on this very train. Heck, some of them have been in this very room. It's hard. And then Soul makes comments about how Rose was stupid to kill herself the day of the reapings and how Evanna probably acts more motherly than my actual mom does. It… all of it… broke down the mental barriers I built." I whisper, trying to make the lie sound believable.
"Lacey… I know that it's hard, but you need to stop crying so much if you want to win the games." She says, her voice softening.
"I'm not going to win the Games. You know that. A 12 year old has never won. Girls only win about 36% of the time. Of that 36%, only 11% aren't careers. Face it, the odds are against me. So far against me that they aren't changeable. Besides, I'm not sure if I want to win, If I don't, I can be with my family again."
"Don't talk like that; you are going to come out of the arena."
"You and Soul say the same exact things, but you are right, I will come out of the arena. I will come out in a wooden coffin and without a heartbeat."
"Lacey! If you say those sorts of things then they are guaranteed to come true!"
"Seriously… you and Soul should have just come in at the same time."
"Lacey, you already are sounding different then you were earlier. But being hopeless and angry isn't you either. You are usually bubbly, and happy, but most of all determined. Then you get reaped and you are hopeless and fragile, sad and weak. Now, you are angry and sad and hopeless."
"You are right. I'm just… it has been a long day. I'm tired." I say, yawning for good measures.
"Alright… I'll see you tomorrow. Get some sleep." She says, sighing as she stands up.
"Goodnight Sephie!"
"Night Lacey."
When she closes the door behind her, I stand up and walk into the bathroom to take a shower. I press a random button, and I am instantly attacked by a stream of warm water and some sort of pink sparkly foam. What the hell? Why are there sparkles in the… shampoo? I think that's what it is called. I quickly finish with the rest of my shower and dry off. I am about to walk out of the bathroom when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I stare in horror at my reflection. My hair has glitter in it. I bang my head against a wall before walking back into my room and changing into a random set of clothes. Since I don't want anyone knowing that I am up, I grab a small notebook and a pencil and turn off the light before walking back into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.
I sit against the door open up the notebook. I write at the top of the page Tribute Rankings (based on whether they would be a threat to me).Below that I number the page 1-23, since I don't need to put myself on the list. I then go back and mentally replay the reapings, trying to decide who my biggest threats are. After a few minutes I have a list.
1. Blair, district 2 female
2. Storm, district 2 male
3. Sebastian, district 4 male
4. Flame, district 1 female
5. Cameron, district 1 male
6. Brandon, district 6 male
7. Sadie, district 3 female
8. Xena, district 6 female
9. Axel, district 5 male
10. Jasper, district 8 male
11. Alice, district 4 female
12. Skye, district 5 female
13. Elora, district 10 female
14. Munro, district 9 male
15. Scarlette, district 11 female
16. Cami, district 9 female
17. Evan, district 3 male
18. Bella, district 8 female
19. Jagger, district 10 male
20. Clara, district 12 female
21. Dante, district 11 male
22. Caleb, district 12 male
23. Soul, district 7 male (Is a threat… just not to me)
I guess that… everyone between 12 and 22 is going to die in the bloodbath. I know that this list also will change around quite a bit… but that's it for now. On the next 23 pages, I put a tribute name, in district order, and put everything I know about them. Like how Flame from district 1 isn't exactly smart. I leave spaces for training score, strengths, weaknesses, and best weapons. By the time I am finished, I feel satisfied and I exit the bathroom, turning off the light as I leave. I hide the notebook and check the digital clock 10:43. Hmmmm… not as late as I thought. Since there aren't any weapons or other things that can be used to train around, I get in bed and go to sleep, thinking about all the other tributes and becoming the victor my family (and Mabel's) deserved.
Well…. That is the end of the chapter! I know… don't cry, please. There will probably be another chapter next weekend… but please DON'T KILL ME IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN! Thanks! Please review and tell me if the chapter was too long, what you thought about it… or how I should never ever write again because it was so terrible. (Actually… I'd rather if you reviewed about the first two) It would make me smile… or cry if they are extremely mean.
Also… I would like to say thank you to ILoveDoodle, who was the first to review. Your question will be answered later in the story… much later in the story.
Thank you for reading!