Merlin really had no idea about what was happening. He woke up in someone's arms, and he ached all over. He did a quick healing spell on his broken wrist and his ribs, which drained him of any energy he had left. Someone forced something down his throat that tasted like one of Gauis' pain-killers. The world looked blurry. He vaguely felt himself being placed on a horse, and someone getting on behind him, hugging him to their chest. He felt cold.
He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but he realized he was no longer on the horse, but walking with the same someone's arm wrapped around him and guiding him. He felt himself stop. The arm around him tightened. Voices were talking, but he couldn't tell who. The arm around him was lifted, and he was led into a darker room. He was laid on his stomach. Something was forced down his throat. He knew no more.
He woke again, this time with less pain. Nevertheless, he still felt every lash screaming. He sat up. He felt a hand on the back of his head and his mouth was forced open. A foul-taste filled his palate. He slumped over on someone. He was pulled closer to this person, on top of them. A blanket surrounded them. Sleep took him again.
This time, Merlin was going to wake unconfused; he could tell. He was more aware of things, like his neckerchief was back and there was a ring around his finger. Someone's arms encircled him. A kiss was placed on his forehead. His heart beat rapidly, hoping it was who he hoped it was. He forced his eyes open. His smile was brighter than the sun.
Arthur was there. In his room. In his bed. Holding him. Kissing his forehead. And Merlin was a man.
Merlin's heart stopped. It couldn't be real, Arthur couldn't love him….could he? Arthur needed heirs, something Merlin could not provide. Arthur was expected to marry a woman, something Merlin was no longer. The people of Camelot deserved a queen, something Merlin could never be. And who ever heard of two men together? His smile vanished.
"Merlin, what's wrong?" Arthur asked, stroking his hair. "Merlin?"
Merlin pushed Arthur away and got up, swaying slightly. Arthur tried to steady him, but the warlock stepped out of his reach. "Merlin?"
"I can't do this Arthur," said Merlin. I can and want to do this Arthur.
"W-what?" asked the king, hurt visible in his eyes. "W-why?"
"You're king; you'll need heirs," said the warlock with no emotion. I don't care if you're king, I want to be with you.
"Merlin, I don't care," said Arthur, hints of tears in his eyes.
"The council will expect a woman," stated Merlin. I hope you don't care about this, too.
"M-merlin, I don't care!" said Arthur, tears leaking out. "I w-want to be with you!"
"Two men can't be together." I'm sorry Arthur.
"M-m-merlin, I don't care!" Tears were running freely now. Arthur's fear was coming true. "I-I-I love you!"
I love you too. I'm sorry. "I can't do this. Goodbye." He took off the ring and pressed it into Arthur's hand. The king looked at it, then back to Merlin.
"M-m-merlin, p-please, I-I love you. P-p-please," said Arthur, weakly. He looked so scared, so broken, that it hurt Merlin to do this. He walked out.
"MERLIN!" The warlock did not stop. He walked out, out of Gauis' chambers, out of the castle, out of Camelot. He did not stop. He had no place to go in mind. He just walked. As the day drew dark (wasn't it just morning? Merlin couldn't tell.), he sat by a hawthorn tree, and started a small fire. He felt empty, no pain, just numbness. He almost didn't see the man approaching him.
"Hello there," said an old man. Merlin jumped, but relaxed. The elderly were generally easy to beat in a fight.
"Oh, hello," said Merlin. The most this man probably wanted was to warm up by the fire.
"I recognize you," said the man, his eyes gleaming in a familiar way. "You're King Arthur's servant."
"Was," said Merlin, dully.
"But what happened?" asked the old man. "I saw you, a week ago in fact, him announcing that he was going to marry you."
"Well, as you can," said Merlin, gesturing to his body. "I am not a woman."
"Oh, yes, I can see that," said the stranger. "I knew you were always a man; you were just trapped in a woman's body. So tell me, what happened between you and the king?"
"I'm no longer in a woman's body," said Merlin, the numbness coming back.
"And? Do you not love him? Does he not love you?" the old one inquired.
"I love him," Merlin whispered. "And he loves me."
"Then what's stopping you?"
Merlin thought. "He needs heirs."
The old man laughed. "Easily solved; adopt."
"The council would expect a woman."
"Damn the council, then."
"The people deserve a queen."
"Your king could marry some air-headed skank that sleeps with other men behind his back. Tell me, do the people deserve a queen like that?" The old man gave him a piercing look.
"No," sighed Merlin.
"So, I ask again, what's stopping you?"
"Nothing."
"Then go to him."
Merlin stood up and nodded. He was going to thank him, but the old man was gone. With his heart a lot higher and his head a lot clearer, the warlock set off to find his king.
Merlin, Merlin, Merlin, you finally realized that you and Arthur are meant to be. *sighs* Well thank you to Lady-Blade-WarAngel, the only person to review in the hour that separated this update and the last! :D