A few weeks later, Cooper was unable to sleep. He kept hearing moans and thuds from his parents' room, and didn't know what they were. He jumped out of bed and let himself into their room. Cooper gasped when he saw them both completely naked, and Mr Anderson with his "peepee" in Mrs Anderson's.
"MOMMY, WHERE'S YOUR DICK?" Cooper asked loudly.
Mr and Mrs Anderson pulled away quickly and covered themselves with the blanket.
"Cooper! It's almost midnight! Go to sleep!" His dad said.
Cooper ignored this, and jumped up on the bed with them. He saw a pile of something white and sticky on the bed, and his eyes widened.
"Why the fuck are you two hos eating mayonnaise in bed while naked?" Cooper demanded.
"That's not-" Mrs Anderson started before Mr Anderson covered her mouth.
"Because we're weird, Coop. Now go to your own room. And for the last time, you do not swear OR call people hos." Mr Anderson said.
"Do I look like I care?" Cooper asked sassily. He kept staring at the pile of "mayo" on the bedsheets. "Can I eat some?"
"NO!" Mr and Mrs Anderson shouted in unison.
"And why not?" Cooper demanded, z-snapping.
"It tastes horrible. Absolutely horrible." Mrs Anderson said.
"Oh." Cooper pulled the sheets off the bed, revealing his parents' naked bodies. His eyes widened. "Mommy, you still don't have a dick! Did Blainey rip it off when they gave him to you at the hospital? I bet he did! That gay little shit!"
"No, Cooper. I never had a... What you said." Mrs Anderson was trying to explain things in such a way that Cooper wouldn't be corrupted (not that he wasn't already).
"Are you a freak?"
"No. Mommy is a girl. Girls and boys have different body parts. With girls, it's called a vagina. With boys, it's called a penis." Mr Anderson told Cooper. "You, me, and Blainey have penises."
"Heehee. Mommy has a pussy." Cooper said.
"...Yes. Mommy has a pussy. Now go to bed, Cooper."
"...Mommy, Daddy, were you fucking?" Cooper asked.
"Just go!" Mrs Anderson said.
Cooper sighed. "You're a couple of whores." He said before walking to Blaine's room. He climbed into Blaine's crib, causing the baby to cry, and fell asleep there.