Author's Note: As always, thank you so much for the amazing reviews! I'm sorry I didn't update sooner today. I was off baking for a Christmas party this weekend. Anyway, please enjoy this chapter! The flashback is in italics. It takes place during Rachel's freshman year at NYADA, so it's before Quinn got pregnant. This chapter title comes from "Light Outside" by Wakey!Wakey!

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

Rachel barely bit back a frustrated scream as she opened the front door and slammed it shut behind her. She could feel the tears burning in her eyes as she stalked her way through the living room. She was on her way to the stairs when she heard her sister call out, "Rachel? Are you okay?"

Rachel froze and groaned under her breath. She forgot that Quinn was over with Finn today. He was meeting her mother and Russell for the first time (they missed each other when they had moved Rachel in), and he was having dinner over. They were currently home for winter break.

She stopped and turned to face the four occupants of the living room. They were sitting and having coffee, and they were all looking at her with concerned eyes—even Finn. Rachel plastered a fake smile onto her face and tried to keep the tears at bay.

"Oh, I'm alright," she said in as cheerful a voice as she could muster.

Quinn, of course, knew differently. Giving Rachel a sympathetic look, she asked, "Is it Brody? Did you get into a fight with him?"

Rachel bit her lip. She had started to date Brody shortly after the school year began. He was a charming upperclassman that was quick to make his desire for Rachel known. And now she knew that that was all he wanted from her, anyway.

She gave them a small smile that was really more of a grimace. "We broke up," she said quietly.

"Oh, Rachel," Quinn said. "I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

Rachel shook her head. "Not really. I'm just going to go upstairs. You all enjoy the rest of your night."

She climbed the stairs and quickly went into her room, shutting the door behind her. She changed into a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, and she put in an old Barbra Streisand movie. She would have been really clichéd and gone to get some ice cream, but that would require going downstairs and facing people. That was something that she didn't really want to do.

Rachel had fifteen blissful minutes to herself before she heard a knock on the door. She burrowed herself further into the bed. "Quinn, I'm really not in the mood to talk." She didn't want to talk to her sister that was in a perfect relationship with the guy that Rachel still had a bit of a crush on. And yes, Rachel was aware of how pathetic that seemed.

"It's not Quinn."

Rachel was surprised at the deep, familiar voice on the other side of the door. She stared at it for a long moment before she got up and opened the door.

"Hey." Finn gave her that half smile. "Do you mind if I come in?"

"But what about the dinner downstairs?" Rachel asked.

Finn shrugged his shoulders. "Your mom and Quinn are busy in the kitchen and Russell went to take a call. They won't notice that I'm gone."

"Oh." Against Rachel's better judgment, she stepped aside and allowed Finn to come into the room. She shut the door behind him and then went back to sit on her bed. Finn looked around the room with a small smile on his face.

"So," Finn finally said. "Kurt told me about Brody. He mentioned what he was like."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I just… I don't really…"

Finn sat next to her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Rachel opened her mouth. But instead of saying no, she found herself spilling the whole sordid tale to Finn. There was just something about the way he was looking at her—his eyes were so genuine and full of concern for her. She couldn't resist talking to him.

"Brody was so charming," Rachel finally said. "He didn't make it any secret that he wanted me, and it was nice to feel that way. But the more our relationship progressed, the more I realized that he just wanted me for my body. He was sleeping around with other freshman girls behind my back. He played us all, and this isn't the first time it had happened. According to another girl in my dance class, he's been doing this since he first got to NYADA."

"Oh, Rachel," Finn said. "I'm sorry. You don't deserve to be treated like that. You're so much better than that asshole."

Rachel looked down at her hands. She felt horrible and used. It had been nice to feel wanted in that way, but it felt even worse to know that she had only been wanted for sex. "I was the flavor of the month," she said quietly.

"Hey." Finn caught her gaze and held it. "He's a dick. And you shouldn't have to worry about someone like that. He'll get what's coming to him one day, and you'll just get to stand there and laugh. You're better than him," he repeated. "And you deserve better than that."

Rachel nodded her head and bit her lip again. Even though she knew that, she still felt completely horrible for the way Brody had treated her. And it really bothered her to know that he had not only done this to other girls in the past, but he was doing it now and would continue to do it.

Rachel was surprised when Finn wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. She sank into his comforting embrace and fisted his shirt in her hands. Taking a deep breath, she let herself get lost in the feel of Finn's arms. She would worry about how guilty she should feel for liking it later.

"I could kick his ass if you want me too," Finn offered after several long moments.

A giggle slipped passed Rachel's lips. "That sounds like a really good idea, but we should probably hold off on it for now."

"Whatever you say, Rachel," Finn said. He tightened his arms around her for a brief moment before he let go. "I should probably head back down now."

Rachel nodded her head and crawled back under her covers. When Finn was at the door, Rachel called out, "Finn?" He turned around to face her, and Rachel gave him a true smile. "Thank you."

Finn smiled at her in return. "Anytime, Rach."

"Do you remember when I broke up with Brody?"

Finn looked down at where Rachel was curled against his chest. It was after their dinner date on Thursday night, and they were back at his apartment, just curled up on the couch and talking. "Yes," he said darkly. "I hate him."

"You've never even met him," Rachel said with a laugh. "And you don't have anything to worry about, Finn."

"Still," Finn grumbled. "He's a dick. You should have let me beat him up."

"Well, I was actually wondering…"

"If I could still beat him up? Of course I will. Just say the word, Rach, and I'll kick his ass and make it look like an accident."

"Finn!" Rachel pushed at his shoulder playfully. "Be serious!"

Finn grinned at her. "Alright, alright. What were you wondering?"

Rachel sat up a little bit so that she could see Finn's face. "I was wondering why you had bothered to come upstairs and check on me. I mean, I was nothing but your girlfriend's little sister."

Finn shrugged his shoulders. "Kurt had told me all about Brody, so I knew how much of a dick he was. You really looked like you needed someone to talk to, so I just wanted to check on you. And, honestly… I hated seeing you that upset. I had to go and see if you were okay."

Rachel smiled and shifted further up. She curled hers fingers into his shirt and pressed her lips against his in a sweet kiss. He was kind and in tune to people's emotions. But she felt so touched and special that Finn wanted to make sure that she was okay.

"I probably should have figured it out then," Finn admitted. "That I had a thing for you, I mean. But I was oblivious to it for a long time."

"When did you finally realize it?"

"Not long after I broke up with Quinn," Finn answered. "I was just leaving your apartment after I visited Kurt, and I saw you. When I did, I just… knew. It hit me all of the sudden, and I wondered why I had never realized it before."

Rachel couldn't help the next question that escaped her. "Why didn't you do anything then? When you realized it, I mean?"

Finn rubbed the back of his neck. "I was still messed up after what happened with Quinn and Puck. I was confused and hurt, and I knew that I wouldn't have been good for you then. You deserved more than that. And then time passed and I didn't see you anymore… until that day at the supermarket, that is."

Rachel's cheeks flushed a little bit. "Even when I was dating Brody, I still had a crush on you. I tried to pretend that I didn't, and I guess that I ended up dating him as a way to try and get over you. It didn't really work." She smiled at Finn before she continued. "It's probably a good thing I didn't see you very often during that time, otherwise I would have been very obvious about it."

"Really?" Finn smirked and pulled her closer. "You had a crush on me for that long?"

Rachel nudged him again. "You knew that."

"I still like to hear it from time to time." Finn pressed a kiss to Rachel's forehead before he tilted her chin up and kissed her. Rachel sighed into his mouth and wrapped her arms around his neck. His fingers tangled in her hair as he deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping past her lips.

Rachel shifted closer to him, nearly climbing into his lap in her effort to do so. Finn gently pulled his hands from her hair and stroked them down her sides, stopping to rest them on her hips.

Thinking that this was the perfect moment to get revenge for her numerous hickies, Rachel began to kiss down Finn's jawline. She stopped at the place where his jaw met his neck and gently bit down, sucking lightly. Finn groaned and slipped his hands under her shirt, his calloused thumbs stroking against her soft skin.

Rachel gasped against his neck but didn't let his actions deter her. She continued lightly sucking on the spot until she was satisfied and then kissed back up to his mouth. He could feel her smiling against his lips as she kissed him again.

"Good luck hiding that one," she told him.

Finn smirked before his hands slid up higher, his fingers brushing the underside of her bra. "Worth it," he muttered before he kissed her again. Rachel shifted a little, trying to get his hands to go higher, when, suddenly—

—a phone rang.

Both Finn and Rachel groaned. She slid off his lap but cuddled into his side as Finn dug his phone out of his pocket. When he saw who was calling, he smiled and answered it. As he spoke, he wrapped an arm around Rachel.

"Hey, Mom," Finn greeted. "How are you?"

Rachel smiled. Finn had such a close relationship with his mom, and she thought it was the sweetest thing ever.

"Yeah Mom, I'm fine," Finn said. He looked down at Rachel and couldn't keep his smile from forming into a grin. "Actually, I'm great."

Finn and his mother chatted on the phone as Rachel closed her eyes and draped her arm across his abdomen. His fingers stroked up and down her arm and shoulder, and his gentle movements helped Rachel drift into a peaceful sleep.

Warm lips trailing from her temple to her mouth woke Rachel up. She opened her eyes to find Finn gazing down at her with that half smile on his lips. She grinned at him in return before he kissed her, sliding his fingers into her hair.

When they broke apart, Rachel stretched and let out a little noise of appreciation. "How long was I out?"

"Only a couple of hours," Finn answered as he played with the ends of her hair. Rachel rested her head on his shoulder, wrapping both of her arms around his. She sighed happily before she caught sight of the clock.

"Oh my God, it's almost midnight!" she exclaimed. When Finn nodded his head, Rachel jumped up and began to frantically search for her jacket. Finn found it and held it out, helping her to slip it on.

"Kurt and Santana are going to be wondering where I am," Rachel mumbled to herself as she pulled her phone out. She had turned it on silent at the beginning of her date with Finn. Sure enough, she had several text messages and missed calls from both Kurt and Santana. She even had a text from Tina, asking how her date went. Rachel smiled and sent off a quick answer to her friend before she decided to use Tina as her excuse for the night. She texted Kurt and Santana as well, telling them that she had been hanging out with Tina and she was on her way home.

"Alright," Rachel said with a relieved breath. "I think I've got it covered." She tucked her phone back into her purse before she looked up and noticed Finn's jaw tightening. "Finn? Is everything okay?"

He didn't answer for a moment and instead took a deep breath. "Nothing," Finn finally said. "I'm fine."

"Finn…" Rachel took his hand. "Please tell me what's wrong."

"I just…" Finn sighed and dragged his free hand through his hair. "I wish we didn't have to sneak around."

Rachel's heart dropped. She had been so concerned over how Quinn would react to her and Finn's relationship if she ever found out, she hadn't really taken Finn's feelings into account. Now she felt horrible and guilty and overwhelmed and tears suddenly began to burn in her eyes.

Finn noticed the change immediately. "Hey," he said gently. Taking both her hands, he pulled her back towards the couch and sat down. Putting two fingers under her chin, he tilted her face up until she was looking at him. "Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

Rachel sniffled and tried to keep her tears at bay. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "When I said that I wanted to keep this quiet for a little, I didn't think about how you would feel. I was just thinking about how Quinn would react, and I'm so, so sorry. And I didn't want to mess your friendship up with them, but I didn't ask if you agreed with me."

Finn wrapped his arms around Rachel and pulled her close, pressing a kiss to her temple. He hated to see her this upset. Despite the fact that he didn't want to hide their relationship, Finn did understand Rachel's reasoning for it.

"Rach, I get it," Finn said as he rubbed his hand comfortingly over her back. "I just wish…" He trailed off, not wanting to upset her any further.

"I'm sorry, Finn," Rachel repeated. Suddenly, her eyes brightened and she sat up. Finn blinked in shock at her sudden change in moods. "Finn, what if we tell them after the wedding? It's only two months away!"

Finn did feel better knowing that there was a definite time when they would reveal their relationship to their friends and family. And it would be nice to have some time to themselves and allow their relationship to grow. Finn took Rachel's hand and lifted it to his lips, pressing a kiss to her palm.

"That sounds like it could work," Finn told her. He smoothed her hair back. "Listen, I don't want you to worry about this."

"I won't worry about it if you promise to tell me how you feel."

Finn smiled and kissed her softly. "Well, I really, really like you, Rachel Berry." Repeating her words from earlier, he said, "I've had a crush on you for a long time."

Rachel beamed at him and snuggled closer in his arms. "That's sweet. But you know what I mean."

"I do. And I promise I will," Finn told her. "Oh, and I almost forgot to mention. Puck and Quinn invited me to the wedding."

"They did?" When Finn nodded his head, Rachel smiled. "That's wonderful!"

"I'm glad things aren't weird between us anymore," Finn said. Rachel stood up again and grabbed her purse, leaning over to press a kiss to Finn's lips before she left. Finn caught her wrist and stood up, grabbing his jacket as well. "Let me walk you home."

Rachel knew that it would be useless to argue with Finn. And she thought it was very sweet and wonderful that he insisted on walking her home. "Thank you, Finn."

He pulled her close to kiss her again. "Always, Rachel."

Author's Note: So this was some background into the interactions between Finn and Rachel before they started dating. There will be a few more scenes like that, too. Thanks for reading, and let me know what you thought!