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Chapter 8

Have you ever wanted to smack someone so bad that it hurt when you couldn't? Well that was how I felt with those so called doctors and nurses. I mean were the hell did they get their PhD's from a Cracker Jack box? I mean really could they have not seen how torn up we were about Austin? They couldn't have let us know what's happening. Talk about being selfish. Then a thought accured to me.

"Hey Dez?"

The sound of my voice must have surprised him, he look startled at first before answering back

"Yes Ally?"

"Does Austin's parent's know what's going on?"

Dez was silent. He just stared into space for a second before Trish snapped him out of it by slapping the back of his head. "Doofus, Answer her! "

Dez just sighed. "Yeah Ally they do know."

"Then why aren't they here?"

Dez turned around and looked at me. "They said their son died a long time ago and that whatever happens is to someone else's son."

"WHAT!" Trish and I screamed. How could they say something so cruel about their own son?

"We aren't the only ones who were upset about the new Austin. They took it the worst considering they are his parents. They tried to help him, but he told them to go to hell and I they never looked back."

"I don't give a shit if he spitted in their faces, they are still his parents and they need to be here! How can they just say that? That is so fucked up?!"

I just can't believe how cruel his parents were being. I mean this was their only child and they act like they wouldn't careless if he died.

"I know Ally, I know." Dez spoke. He was about to finish when the doctor came out of Austin's Room. He must have known we were getting upset, he made his way over.

"Friends of Austin Moon?"

Duh. Jackass Just Duh.

"Yes we are." Dez answers

"Well we were able to revive him; his body went into shock not surprising on what his body has been through. But he should make a full recovery."

No sweeter words have been said.

"Thank you doctor." I say just thankful that I am not saying something else. Both Trish and Dez nod their heads.

"When can we see him doctor?" Trish asks.

"I think it is alright if you guys go see him, but only one at a time and only for a few minutes each. He needs his rest in order for his body to recover. We all nod. I think for the first time in how long I let how a breath I didn't realize I had held in. Austin is going to make it. He's going to be alright.

"So who wants to go first?"

"Dez it should be you. I mean out of all of us, you have known him longer." Trish says softly. Rubbing his arm. I swear those two will always have each other's back when the chips are down. I smile as he looks at me. Then Dez nods and walks into the room leaving just Trish and I to process what nearly happened.

'Ally are you okay?" Trish asks even though she knows the answer already.

"You already know Trish."

"I need you to hear it, I need you not to shut down and make you go down in this. Please tell me."

"No Trish, I'm not alright. I am completely petrified right now and I don't know what to do. Despite everything that happened, I didn't want this to happen. I never wanted Austin to nearly die and be in this pain that he has been in."

"I know you didn't Ally anyone knows that..."

"But Austin doesn't. Isn't that the point of all this happening? Why we are at where we are today?"

My voice is cracking with unshed tears that I am amazed are still there considering I thought there couldn't be anymore. I just broke down telling Trish on what I was feeling. And I meant everything, including my feelings for Austin, which surprise she already knew. I told her about the many nights at school I would imagine Austin's arms around me holding me tight. Whispering sweet nothings in my ear that I so desperately wanted to be true. Even after what went down, I imagined Austin and I making up you know? I mean we were Austin and Ally. Nothing that couldn't be fixed.

"Who wants to go in next?" Dez whimpered out as tears were rolling down his face as he made his way out of Austin's room. I didn't know what to say to comfort him. Dez must be in a hell of his own, he and Austin have been friends since early childhood and to see his friend like that must have been a scene like nothing else. I can't even make myself move to get up, Trish once again noticed and smiled and said she would go. After a quick hug she got up and went in. Dez sat down, head down in his hands.

"I am so Sorry Dez; I didn't want this to happen."

"I know you didn't Ally, We all played a part into this, Austin being the major one who did this. I was his best friend since kindergarten and I turned my back on him. I knew he was acting out because he was hurt, but I walked away anyway."

Could a person die from guilt? I think we are about to find out. God what did I do to my friends?

"Oh God Dez..."

"No Ally I am not telling you this to blame you at all. I knew you had to go and I don't blame you for that, I do think you should have told Austin in person or even by phone. But Ally I don't blame you. We all played a part in Austin's downfall, I shouldn't have walked away but you were my friend too and what Austin did was unacceptable so he isn't blameless, He is a grown man who made his own choices. I just should have been there when he fell. But I wasn't and that is what I am going to have to live with."

I place my hand on his arm," Dez, Austin loves you; I mean you guys have been through so much together. He wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

"He wouldn't want you to blame yourself. The Austin that I knew wouldn't want you to blame yourself. He loved You Ally, He really did."

I smile.

"Yeah I loved him too."

"Go in that room and tell him that. Let him know what he means to you. Tell him how much he is loved by you. Just let him know that he is still needed."

"I don't think I can..."

"Yes you can. You will know exactly what to say to Austin. You always did."

The door opens and Trish comes out tears flowing, she looks up and as I am about to go comfort her, Dez beat me to it. She holds on to him like I never seen. Tears wracking her body.

"Oh God…I was so horrible to him…I just can't..." She mumbles as she buries her head in his chest

"Trish it's alright, I mean as I was telling Ally we do own some blame for how we treated Austin, but he is solely responsible for his actions, and no one else is but Austin."

Trish smiles into his chest," Thanks Dez." Dez smiles and hugs her a little tighter. Whoever thought that would have happened like ever?

"Ally are you ready?"

With one last look at Dez and Trish I nod my head and walk in the room. The first thing I notice is how dark the room is the light showing through very dim. Very fitting for the current situation that we find ourselves in. My eyes tear up at looking at him for the first time in three years. Even bruised and bandaged he still looked the same.

My Austin.

That was my Austin laying there hooked up to machines and in a hospital bed completely looking peaceful as he lay there. You wouldn't have thought no time has passed. Ally makes her way to the bed, she glances down to his hand, not really sure on what to do, she grabs his hand and squeeze it.

"Austin."

God saying his name just hurts. To be so close to him and yet be so far away from him was hell. There was a time when she didn't even have to say a word and he would know exactly what she was trying to say. At that moment she wishes nothing more than to turn back time. As much as she loves her new independence and inner strongness she wished it didn't have to cost her Austin.

"Austin there is so much I need to say to you, but at the moment I can't find the words to say. Isn't that funny? I Ally Dawson can't find anything to say." Ally tries to laugh at her inner joke, but nothing helps her mood.

What can I say? What will help this situation? How can I help Austin understand what I did? But also how can I try and help him when he hurt me so.

Damn it Ally now is not the time to be selfish. Austin nearly died. Now is not the time to drudge all that up. When Austin gets better than that will be the time.

"What the hell am I even doing right now?" Ally's voice croaks as the emotion is becoming too much, as she is about to turn and leave she feels her hand being held. Ally turns and looks it is Austin grabbing on to her hand.

"Austin..." Ally whispers.

"Yeah Ally it's me." Austin croaks out as he opens his eyes. And for the first time in three years Ally Dawson is looking into Austin Moon's eyes and what was held there shook her to her core.