Chapter 14

AN: This chapter is Rated T due to some language and talk of certain situations that are for adults only.

AN: I also hope you guys check out my new one shot The Hardest Thing. Please review and let me know what you think

It could be said that time heals all wounds. Maybe that is true. But for me being in Austin's arms that is what helps. When he asked for that hug and brought up that time years ago I couldn't help but go.

Austin Moon is my kryptonite.

Before today I would have had a problem with that but not now. Now before anyone asks no we aren't together. That would be too soon I mean after all today was the first day that we actually saw and talked to each other as friends then as enemies. But it felt nice to be able to be with Austin again and not feel any feelings of betrayal or hurt. And I don't, I look at him and I can actually see the boy that I fell in love with. My Austin was back, and I knew I couldn't hold on to any feelings of bitterness. It would kill us all over again. And didn't I live my life long enough without him in it?

I just couldn't do it. Some may call me weak and pathetic, but they aren't the ones in this situation. It is Austin and I who are and just looking at him, he punished himself enough for the both of us, so what good would it do for me to punish him? All it would do would is create extra hurt. And No One wants that.

The knock on the door tells me the delivery guy is here. Could 30 minutes have passed since I have been in Austin's arms? It felt like seconds. I look up at him and he has the same expression on his face as I do.

Happiness. A feeling that has escaped both of us. I mean true happiness that while I was happy in New York, a part of me was gone so how could I have been truly happy? It was nothing like this. I knew that I couldn't have Austin be not in my life anymore.

The door trembles with the outside word trying to get in. I know I went to grab the pizza, we were hungry but all I wanted was to be in Austin's arms. I thank and tip the man and I close the door. Placing the pizza on the table in the little kitchen area. I look at Austin and he looks at me.

"Hungry?"

"Let's do this."

Long after the pizza is gone; Ally and I just sit there and talk. Sometimes it is awkward when she shares a good memory of her time in New York, because it just meant that I wasn't there to share it with her. I know it is silly but hey that's how I feel. But the thing is that I am not going to let it ruin what we are trying to build. I mean I pushed her away remember Austin?

Okay.

But the main feeling I get is joy. To see her able to tell her time in New York and how she went for her dreams. I couldn't really feel anything but proud. She keeps making sure that I am feeling alright, she asks should she stop. I tell her no. Why should she stop, I want to listen to all the good times she had, maybe it will help lessen my guilt a little to know that she wasn't completely destroyed by me.

Ally talks about the time she and her roommate at the time Eileen went to Times Square, and all she could think of was me. I started to apologize to her, but she shushed me. Told me that it was okay, because whenever she looked at it she could remember the last good feelings of us. That is what held her together she claims.

Doesn't she know the strength she has? The strength I see every time I look at her? She managed on her own and just on her own. She didn't need to remember me and the good times to get buy. She could survive on her own. She was stronger than anybody he has ever known. With each story that she tells, he couldn't help but feel nervous, because he knows she is going to want to know what he has been up too, and he is so not looking forward to that. That is really the only time that he really has the doubts come back in. Austin no doubt is pretty sure that she has heard all the rumors about him, the tabloids sure loved to put his personal life on the front pages. All the other women that he had sex with was almost all public knowledge, I mean some of them were pretty discrete but then there were others that sold their story to the tabloid rags, I mean they got a piece of Austin so why not make more money off him as well. He is not proud of the way he treated all of them, he had used them for his own needs and just discarded them like they were trash. Austin was getting afraid of how Ally would react to everything. There was brief second that he was considering not being completely honest about his escapades, but then he knew he couldn't.

He wouldn't lie to Ally. He would not risk losing her. Not after the progress they have made in such a small amount of time. She would appreciate the honesty.

"Austin, you alright there?" Her voice brings me out of my self-loathing. Yeah I have to tell her.

"Yeah I was just thinking about how proud of you I am. Ally you did it, you went and got your dream. No one deserves it more than you. And I was just thinking about what you accomplished while we were apart, and I got to start thinking about how much I failed everyone and myself at the same time."

"Austin..."

"Look Ally I know you told me not to keep punishing myself, And I am trying I really am. But At the same token I just can't brush away the actions I made while you were gone. I was a horrible person Ally. And I am going to answer or share some stories about me when you were gone; I just hope they don't chase you away."

"Austin we went over this already, I know what you done and I forgive you. I mean I have no right to judge you we weren't together so you shouldn't even apologize."

"Ally thank you that means a lot to me. I just don't want to miss this up. Your friendship means so much to me, and I want to have a relationship with you. I am just afraid that you wouldn't want used goods."

"Austin You aren't used goods..."

"Ally I have been with a LOT of women that makes me..."

"It makes you a bit irresponsible but I am assuming you used condoms?"

"Most times, rare occasions I made sure they had birth control. I couldn't risk it."

"Look Austin, I am going to be honest does it sting to know you have been a lot of girls? Yeah, it makes me jealous that they know you in ways I haven't and I knew you first. But Like I said we weren't together, and honestly Austin I have seen the sex tapes of you that were leaked so I knew."

Oh God she saw the tapes and she is still sitting here with me?

"Yeah not my proudest moments..."

"Well you sure didn't act like it on the tapes; it looked like you were having fun." Ally smirks

If my face was any redder I would have sworn it was on fire. God what the hell was I thinking taping sex would be a great idea? And especially with my tube?

"Ally..." I moan out. This is completely embarrassing.

"Come on Austin, I was Kidding. I will say your ass does look good on camera, those lucky girls." Ally answers with a teasing tone in her voice.

I couldn't help but laugh, this girl was amazing. Here we were talking about my low point and she doesn't look at me with disgust? Then a thought accrued to me.

"When does Ally Dawson watch porn?" I ask smirkly

"I don't!" she screeches as embarrassment is heard in her voice and seen on her face. This is priceless.

"Well how did you see my ass then if you weren't watching?"

"Austin!" She screeches silently begging for me to stop. Hey I couldn't help but tease her! She did it first.

"I would really like to know.

"

"I heard about it from watching TV and my curiosity peaked so I checked online and I only saw a few glimpses and as for your ass it wasn't like you were covered or anything. And by the way Austin I have to say you are pretty flexible."

Yeah I can't even speak right now. Ally Dawson has surprised me once again. Then being the guy that I am I couldn't not ask myself hoping that she would want to be that way with me. Minus the video and of course it wouldn't be rough. Well if she wanted it rough. Shut up Austin!

"What can I say I have skills? Maybe someday you can find out."

Ally stares at me for a second. Afraid that I pushed the wrong button I go to apologize when she does something that shocks me.

"Only if you don't tape it."

That so totally could be arranged.

Then another thought accured to me.

"So you like my ass huh?"

Ally blushes. I have to say I love it when she does.