Sorry guys not a lot of dialog in this chapter but i felt there were a few things that needed to be explained. Hope you like it
The evening wasn't particularly restful for M. She didn't mind the fact that James had what amounted to a death grip on her most of the night, that had actually been a great source of comfort, No it was the constant replaying of the events that took place in her office earlier in the evening that kept invading her thoughts. It was all coming back to her. She had had a similar conversation with Mallory a few days earlier which had ended very much the same way, a stale mate. He wanted her to voluntarily retire and she had no intention of granting his wish.
Other past conversations kept creeping in as well. Conversations about different missions, other mundane tasks that all needed her undivided attention and one particularly heated discussion with a certain 00 who just happened to be sleeping with her. His last mission had been to Singapore and had gone horribly wrong in the eyes of the Chairman of the Security and Intelligence Committee, and it was her task to discipline him accordingly. The argument ended with her threatening to revoke his double 0 status and him angrily defending his decisions. That particular argument took place the night of her accident to the best of her knowledge. She remembered quite clearly coming home in a right foul mood, hastily drinking a large scotch, and kicking off her shoes when her phone rang. It was Mallory. "What the bloody hell does he want" she remembered thinking as she answered the phone. She remembered that he had insisted on an early morning meeting to discuss the Singapore situation and her retirement for the umpteenth time. She remembered hanging up on him, then slamming the phone down on the table and starting up the stairs when the phone rang again. She remembered turning quickly on the step and whether it was the scotch or just being in her stocking feet on the slippery step she didn't know which, she lost her balance. That was all she remembered.
She had to laugh a little. She hadn't fallen because of the loose step at all, and yet James had spent so much time fixing it for her, she was truly touched by his concern for her safety.
She could only assume that James had broken into her flat that evening hoping to arrive before her so they could have their usual discussion after his mission and he could explain in greater detail just exactly what happened so that she would have a better chance of defending him like she always did. Instead of arriving before her, he found her at the bottom of the stairs in a crumpled, bloody heap. Gone was the memory of the frustrating day and the heated words they had exchanged with one another. All that was left was the fear and pain he saw in her eyes and the pain he felt when she didn't recognize him. Also gone were all of the constraints that kept them apart. As long as she couldn't remember, the rules didn't apply.
She didn't ever think in her wildest dreams that it could be possible for her to fall in love with him or him with her, and yet here he was, sleeping beside her, protecting her, defending her and loving her and she was not ready to give that up, not just yet. She also didn't realize what it meant to be loved by her closest friends who just happened to be her employees. She had never allowed herself to really get to know them and now that she had she truly understood what the term "Family" meant. Family doesn't have to be strictly blood relations. She knew that she had once had a husband and that she had children, but they never had this kind of loving and caring relationship. She couldn't blame her children for not wanting to be near her. She never had the chance to be a proper mother to them so it was only natural for them to stay away. It was no one's fault. Her family life had been a casualty of her career.
"No" she thought to herself. "I'm not ready to let go. Not just yet." She knew she would eventually have to tell James and Eve and Bill that she was starting to remember, but for the time being she was just going to take it one day at a time and enjoy the love and friendship of her "New" family as long as she could, because once the truth came out it would be back to business as usual and she was not ready.
Once M had made her decision to keep quiet about her memory for the time being she seemed to relax a bit curling up closer to James and resting her head on his shoulder. He stirred slightly as he opened his eyes to look at her.
"Hey" he said quietly as he placed a soft kiss to her forehead "Are you alright?"
"Never better" she said flashing him a radiant smile as she shifted up a bit and pulled him into a gentle kiss. "Never better"