Author's Note :: Hey you guys how you doing? I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in SO LONG, but my schedule is hectic with home and friends and my flight schedule ugh. I have no idea when I will update after this, but I promise it won't be more than 2 weeks. That being said, i'm gonna cut this as short as possible and go through the shout outs. Thanks for commenting and reviewing Chapter 19 and a couple of the previous ones. Mucho LOVE! :D
KendalllsLogan'sKnight
Couellette
Velandrae
OrangeTrufflex
GLJ4
perfectlyjackie
1Avid-reader
Irishoreo
TidusGT
JessamineLovelace
Tigers257
Nerdy-Mochi22
LessThanThree333
Sir RRCS
Thanks so much you guys! I'm so blessed to have all of you as readers and fans! Enjoy this next Chapter!
Chapter 20 :: Someone Like You
everything is swirling... it feels so... surreal. So unsubstantial. What's going on?
Carlos gets up from the bed feeling groggy, but much more than that... inhuman. Fake. or... Almost... Ethereal...
"What's going on?" he asks himself... Confused and delirious he stumbles through the door and down the hallway..
"Was I drugged?" he questions... My legs... my legs are so weak. Carlos struggles to keep himself up, but somehow manages. Towards the end of the hallway distant voices can be heard. Both familiar and foreign.
"Logan?" Carlos calls... "Logie?" Carlos continues to stumble down the hallway and attempts to go down the stairs, slipping and dearly falling to his death numerous times, cling to the stairs railing to brace himself up. As he edges closer to the bottom the voices begin to get clearer. They're cleaner. Crisper. Recognizable...
"Logan?" …. The voice was simple to ascertain, but the other was more of a challenge. It was familiar, yet unknown. Like he heard it before from somewhere else... Gaining a better sense of balance and awareness Carlos ventures to the source of the sounds, using the voices as a trail-marker. Deeper and deeper into the house the voices become clearer. Instead of talking he can hear, giggling?
Continuing even further into hallways he doesn't seem to recognize more sounds could be identified. Laughs, a couple of slaps.. Even... Bed sheets?
Starting to become more aware of his surroundings Carlos' blood begins to course more freely. Adrenaline pumping throughout his body he has a new found source of stabilization and energy... Walking perfectly upright and silently he creeps down the last hallway and stops at the door of a room that seems to be confining the source of the sounds... This time the words are ushered between the two. A secret to keep.
"shhh!.. You have to be quiet! Do you want him to hear?" Logan's voice asked.
"Maybe I do?" the other voice said teasing.
That voice... It sounds like...
Carlos turns the knob and pushed the door slightly and allows the momentum to take control of the opening. The door slowly opens, revealing two boys in the bed closely-knit together. Naked...
One was Logan.. The other...
"Drew?" Carlos said out loud.
Both boys instantly looked up. Not even noticing someone was watching them...
"Carlos.." Logan said softly.
"I said I would get him eventually." Drew smirked, picking up Logan's chin and pulled him for a deep kiss. Logan kissed him back without hesitation...
"Sorry Carlos.. But It... US... Just wasn't for me.." Logan said with a half-hearted apology... Before turning back to Drew and kissing him passionately...
"NO..." was all he could say...
Everything around Carlos swirled once again, but this time with a rush and a vigor resembling that of a hurricane. Nausea gripped his stomach, his chest tightened. His heart was prickling, but he began to feel strings, sinews, tugging and eventually splitting loose like thin wires from a partially cut rope, which grew more and more unstable until finally... Tearing apart.
Enfeebled, he fell to the ground effectively hitting his head to the ground and blacking out...
November-December-January-February
Carlos (POV) ::
It's been 4 months since... Since the unmentionable night...
Apparently I blacked out and passed out right then at the sight. Logan called James to come get my sorry ass out of his house and told him to make sure never to come here again. James took me to his place where I rested until noonish the next day where I woke up screaming and panting. When James rushed in and trying to comfort me... I asked if it was just a dream when the memories flooded back into my head.. He told me no... Right then, I felt the same thing I had felt when I first saw... The unmentionable... More strings came loose, if that was possible cause I could feel it.
I spent the next four months of my life depressed, confined and withdrawn. I quit the hockey team and socializing altogether... Nothing seemed to please me anymore... And how could it?
I had pledged an undying loyalty to my first love only to have thrown back in my face like a untidy rag doll that a 15-yr old girl no longer wanted. It hurt. And it hurt bad.
I also neglected my health for awhile... I lost a total of 17pounds and counting. I could see the loss of definition of my body. Though not completely substantial, the change was more than obvious. The doctor said that I was lucky because I was in perfect shape when this happened, but I should begin to start eating more and more. Psshhh...
What the fuck was the point? I asked myself...
Sitting at the lunch table at the cafeteria was... Unbearable to say the least. Logan and his lover had chosen to take the table directly across the cafeteria from our own, which was in the middle of a free-zone where I could see everything... Sometimes I wonder if he did on purpose so I could see them...
It didn't exactly help either that I had almost EVERY single class with him in the beginning. But luckily, second semester came' however slowly it did, it came nonethelesss and I was relieved.
"You know there's a talent-show coming up right?" James asked me out loud, breaking me off from my thoughts.
"Huh?"
"A talent show." he repeated. "You know? Dancing, singing.. Miming." he ended throwing his hands up in the air.
"Oh yeah..." There was a talent show... And I was thinking about doing it.
"Are you gonna sign up?" Kendall asked as if reading my thoughts.
"I was thinking about it.." I replied.
"What's your act gonna be?" Camille asked. I thought about it for second... Before giving them an idea..
"A song" I declared with a smile...
"Oh?" Kendall asked with a smile. "What song?" But he knew what song. After the third month of the unmentionable event, I began to slowly adjust and relieve myself of the pain... Actually I didn't relieve I simply just buried it. Underneath hard facts and feelings to keep it down under where I would never want it to resurface again, but seeing Logan every damn day doesn't exactly help..
In any case, Kendall had helped me to recuperate through music. It was something that Kendall and I shared more than anything else; the love for music. One day when he came over we were going through a random list of today's newly developing artists on his laptop... I was laying on my bed casually throwing up a nerf ball in the air and caught it, then repeated the process as he listed off the names of artists and bands. Eventually he said this one name that caught my ear.
Adele... I thought...
Mrs. Cantwell loved Adele... had passed away in the month of January. She was driving down a hillside on a rainy day when her car slid off the road and tumbled down the side of the mountain... She died on impact... Godbless her soul... I attended her funeral and met her younger sister who I swear could be her twin. I gave my condolences and she accepted warmly and shared memories of the late sister/teacher. I found out that she was a music lover and a fan of Adele as well. She also played the piano and the memories faintly came into my mind and tugged my heart once more, but I bit back the memory and pain and forced it down until later, when I was alone.
"Yeah that one" I confirmed at the name. Kendall shrugged and typed her name on youtube and clicked the first song that came up. The song was about her basically a miserable lonely song, she described it as a song that changed her for the good, but she recounted her occasional thoughts about her former love and how she wondered if later on in her life, the guy would be happier with a family.
It spoke to me on so many levels and I loved it instantly. It was simply, but piercing. Especially during the chorus. So I downloaded the song and put it on repeat at night as I slept. I quickly memorized it and knew every flurry and dynamic of how she sang it live, which was different from her studio recording. Though I preferred the live version... It had so much more depth to it, and it had a thick layer of hurt in her voice that made it all the more real.
"It's a surprise" I said with a smile.. Kendall Smiled at that remark while the others pouted.
:Two weeks later:
Today was the day of the talent show and I was nervous as hell. I had been selected randomly out of a hat to be the last one to go and I watched on the stage as every last performer came and went. Some were good... REALLY GOOD, but most were bad. I couldn't help but laugh at some of the acts.
One guy had tried to do the blow air in the bottle act to make a song. Needless to say it didn't sound like any song i've heard, only to be told that it was supposed to be 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'...
Yeahh...
My hands were shaking and I felt like I was gonna hurl today's lunch. Corn dogs.. Although my favorite I could barely keep one down and I would like to keep it that way. My lips trembled and I nervously bit at my nails when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I rushed around to find that it was a familiar face. 'Cambria'... 's sister...
"You'll be fine sweet-art." she said with a motherly smile. She wasn't very much older than I was, but I couldn't help but feel protected in a way like my mother had always done for me.
I smiled back and took her hand in mine.
"I know I will..." I said back reassuringly. "Thanks for doing this for me..."
"It's all for love" was all she said back, a tear drifted down her cheek and we hugged. Suddenly the announcer had called us up and I let out a heavy breath to calm myself.. I knew he was out here with him. Somewhere in the audience, Kendall had confirmed his presence at the door when he was bouncing the entrance to the school auditorium.
We walked up on stage and a loud rush of clapping and roars of screaming and applause came as we came into the view. I stopped at the mic while Cambria and walked down further in an amazing Channel champagne colored dress and sat down at the grand piano. The crowd fell silent waiting for me to introduce ourselves and explaining our act.
"Uhm" I started out clearing my throat. "Hey"
Several people in the audience clapped and whistled in encouragement.
"Ummm, i'm Carlos, and that young beautiful lady over there is Cambria." I pointed at her and everyone gave her a large applause and she waived them down and smiled. They fell silent again to have me continue.
"I'm gonna be singing a song for you tonight. And umm.. I chose this specific song because I could relate to it in the most deepest ways and in every way possible. Umm" I stopped taking a few seconds to think about what to say next.
"The message is very clear about what I felt or am feeling still rather, and while a past event is what, you know; got me to do this song, a lot of it was in memory of a very missed teacher, ." A few people bowed their heads in respect and nodded their heads in approval.
"She was an amazing person and a dear friend of mine over early months and I don't know where I would be without her." I said, crying a bit. I could hear a couple of the girls aweing at the sight and sniffled out loud as well.
"Cambria" I continued and gestured back to Cambria. "Is 's younger sister and she will be my accompanist for this song." They all gave another round of applause and she repeated her previous actions.
"So, this song is by Adele whom we all loved so much and it's called, umm, Someone Like You."
I finished and stood back to give the attention to Cambria...
She started to play...
The song had a simple melody and ensued a somber mood in the atmosphere. It played out before I took a step towards the mic and sang it exactly the way Adele would have.
I heard... That you're... Settled down...
That you've... Found a guy... and you're...
Married now-ow-ow...
I heard that you're dreams came true,.. Guess he gave you things..
I couldn't give to you...
Old friend... Why are you so shy?
It ain't like you to hold back... Or hide from the light...
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited, but I...
Couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight I...
Hoped you'd see my face. And that you'd be reminded that for me...
It isn't over...
Never mind I'll find...
Someone Like Youuuuuu-uuu
I wish nothin' but the best.. For youuuu-tooo
Don't forget me. I beg. I remember you said'...
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead...
ayy...
You'd know, how the.. Time flies...
Only... yesterday was the time of our lives.
We were born and raised in a...
Summer haze, Bound-by, the surprise of our glory days...
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited, but I...
Couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight I...
Hoped you'd see my face. And that you'd be reminded that for me...
It isn't over yet...
Never mind I'll find...
Someone Like Youuuuuu-uuu
I wish nothin' but the best.. For youuuu-tooo
Don't forget me. I beg. I remember you said'...
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead...
Yeahhh..
Nothing compares, no worries or cares..
Regrets and mistakes they're memories made..
Who would've known how...
Bittersweet... This... Would taste...
'Cambria slows down and plays again with more feeling...
Never mind I'll find...
Someone Like Youuuuuu-uuu
I wish nothin' but the best.. For youuuu-tooo
Don't forget me. I beg. I remember you said'...
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead...
Never mind I'll find...
Someone Like Youuuuuu-uuu
I wish nothin' but the best.. For youuuu-tooo
Don't forget me. I beg. I remember you said'...
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead...
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead...
Cambria drifts off with the melody and slows down before ending it was a final low note..
The crowd doesn't say anything.. They sat there in silence...
Afraid I had done horribly, I backed up and was about to turn and leave when a wave of applause erupted from the direction of the crowd. I looked back to find them standing up from their seats and clapping... I was stunned... I coudn't have been more happy with the results, but more satisfied that I got the message across the only person that mattered...
Cambria got up and we both took a bow before we walked off stage...
As soon as we got off Kendall and James rushed in to hug and congratulate us both with roses. Yaddya yaddya yaddya, this happened with everyone else in the audience after the show was over and congratulating on a job well done. These people had no idea what my voice sounded like until now and it amazed them...
The crowd began to disperse and gradually thin out as more and more people left, still talking about my performance...
We were almost the last people to leave the building and James had suggested we go to Denny's to celebrate. We all agreed and Cambria was more than happy to join us.
"Just let me get my stuff from the back" I said
"Okay, we'll meet you at the car" Kendall confirmed before they all turned around and made their way to the exit..
I jogged down the slope of the audience floor and up the stage stairs to move behind the curtains and look for my stuff. I averted my eyes to where I recalled setting my back-pack when something else was next to it. A person...
My eyes trailed up to find Logan there arms crossed and eyes looking down. It seems he'd been waiting for me... We made eye contact and his face was full of... Sorrow? I don't know... I couldn't exactly make it out in dark.
"Hey..." he finally said..
"Hi" I said coldly.
"Look I know" he began to say while he pushed himself off the wall, but I stopped him with a hand.
"Don't... I don't wont want to hear it." I declared with a stern face-not even looking in his direction.
He dropped his arms in defeat and rubbed the back of his head and looked away...
"Sorry" he simply said.
"Yeah... Me too."
was all I could say, and I walked, grabbed my stuff and flung it over my shoulder and walked away.
I began to walk off the stage when I started to get dizzy... I started to lose balance and everything started to swirl. I felt almost... Ethereal? And eventually I felt the same enfeebled ray cloak over and like it did so long ago and I collapsed... I could hear Logan's faint voice calling out for me in a worried tone..
"Carlos! CARLOS!" he kept calling out, but his voice was growing fainter and fainter and my vision started to give out. I could only see blurs now and this point, nothing was defined...
I blacked out for what felt like 2 seconds, before my vision slowly came to and the voice became clearer.
"Carlos? CARLOS! WAKE UP BEAR!" the same voice called out..
I opened up my eyes. My vision was still a bit blurry, but I could still tell see what was going on.
I looked to find Logan laying down beside me in his bed with a desperately worried look on his face.
Slowly I came to...
"Logan?" I asked confused.
"Yes love it's me.. you were having a nightmare and I was starting to get scared so I woke you up..." He explained.
Omg... that was all a dream? I laid there in shock at the dream that seemed all too horribly real... I laid there motionless for minutes before he called out to me again..
"Carlos.. Love what's wrong?" I looked up at started at his brown eyes... The eyes that hurt me in the fake reality that was dream... and I was thankful that that's all it had been.
I grabbed him and hugged him and cried hard and suddenly on his chest... I just cried... and cried.. and cried... Logan was beginning to panic and grow frantic with my sobs and he kept asking me what was wrong. I just hugged him tighter and he began to realize that what I needed right now... was him...
So he hugged me back and rocked side-to-side, shushing me and whispering that it was okay.. that everything was okay... And thank god it was... I calmed down a bit and told him everything...
"Oh my..." was all he said, before hugging me again and cried...
"Don't you ever imagine something like that again... I can't believe you had that dream. You know damn well that I would never do that... I Told you once, that I would rather put a bullet through my head than do something like that to you..." He was so furious. But he loved me so much and I could feel it... "I love you..." he whispered..
"I know... I'm sorry... I love you too.." I said back, still crying...
Author's Note :: OMG! I hate myself for writing this chapter but there needed to be drama and this was the only way to write without making it real! ARGH I'M SO SORRY! But I hope you liked the chapter, I know I did. I also advise you guys to listen to that song Someone Like You... ONE OF THE BEST SONGS in the world. Seriously... if you have ever felt heart-broken, then you're about to remember it. Awesome artist. Thanks for reading and thanks again for all the reviews! I love you guys! Hope to update soon!
~BSR