Dear Readers,
Ah, lovely. Another chapter. When will you people get hobbies and stop re- wait, I guess this is your hobby. Well then. Get jobs or something. Find something to do with your time other than torture me!
Professor Snape,
Who do you hate the most, Harry Potter, Sirius Black, or Dumbledore? Which one would you have sex with first?
Dear Person Who Doesn't Include Their Name,
That's a difficult question. Well, Harry Potter is a dunderhead, but he is a child. Dumbledore is cruel and manipulative, and he has all the power in the world. But he did give me a job when no one else would, and he kept me out of Azkaban. At a high cost, though. Sirius Black is a nasty, withdrawn, sulky, useless man. I'd gave to say I hate Dumbledore most, though. I still hate Sirius, though.
None of them. I'd sooner take the dementor's kiss.
Sincerely,
Professor Snape.
P.S.- Remember to write Dear before my name, and incluse your name. Dunderheads.
Dear Old Bat From Hell,
I have two questions for you...
What the bloody hell is your hair so greasy?
and...
Will you EVER get laid?
Dear Other Person Who Doesn't Include Their Name,
If you don't read the previous chapters before you ask your question, how can you expect me to answer it. Seriously, read the previous chapters.
Sincerely,
Professor Snape
Dear Professor Snape,
If you were in a position to hand Dumbles your letter of resignation and stop teaching dunderheads, what would you like to do? Teach at NEWT level only? Take on a few truly gifted Potions grad students? Independent research with no teaching duties? Publication? How about a new edition of "Advanced Potions" to replace the one that was outdated when you were a student? Or maybe you'd prefer to open an owl-order business— Complex, Exotic, and Custom Potions by S. Snape. What's your dream career away from the brats? Something ambitious, I'm sure. You ARE a Slytherin, after all.
Thank you for the excellent answer to my question in Chapter Three about your plans for changes at Hogwarts. Sorry I didn't read it until today. Next time you see Moz, pass along my thanks for her enjoyment of my reviews. Not everyone likes my sense of humor, but you know how that is. People who put their stuff up on the internet (or ask questions in potions class) have no business being sensitive. If they can't take the heat, they should get out of the potions lab.
Very Small Prophet.
Dear Very,
Ah, if I didn't have to teach Dunderheaded brats. Well, I certainly would not teach under any circumstances. Not even NEWT level. I have had my fill of any and all teaching. There is a chance that if I happened upon a truly gifted graduate of Hogwarts who wanted to develop new potions and learn more about the art of potion making in general, I would take them on as my apprentice, but I would never teach another class.
If I could do anything, it would be independant research. There are so many potions taht, with a little time, effort, and genius, could be made so much better, and hundred, no thousands, of new potions begging to be made. Custom potions of my own creation.
After doing plenty of research, it would be nice to make a new Advanced Potions. After all, if I could improve, at age sixteen, the Advanced Potions text so much that Potter could become a star student, imagine how much I could revolutionize potion-making now.
You are welcome. It's a refreshing change of pace to see a well-thought-out question, not another offer of sex from a fourteen year old, a question about my hair, or Sirius Black/Hermione Granger/Harry Potter.
I passed it along to Moz. She said, and I quote "Squeeeeeeee! Yay! Very Small Prophet thanked me! *claps hands eight times very quickly*".
Sincerely,
Professor Snape