I sincerely apologize for the wait! I know I said I was hoping to get this chapter up within a week of my last update but with the review I received in regards to the Brittany/Quinn situation I decided to edit some stuff and ended up just rewriting the entire chapter. It just wasn't reading how I wanted it to. That and very important classes and test I had to take dragged my focus away from the story for a bit. Anyway here's the new chapter I hope everyone enjoys! Let me know your thoughts...any feedback on this story keeps me going!
Chapter 11
"Santana you need to relax. Everything is set and we still have some time be they get here." Blaine says encouragingly.
"What i-what if she doesn't come? Or finds out it's me and just hates me even more for lying to her this entire time? She's not going to trust me or give me another chance. I don't know if I can handle her walking away again." she rambles out breathlessly looking around the park.
"I've never seen her like this." Blaine whispers to Kurt.
"Alright Santana get ahold of yourself. Where's my fierce Latina from Lima Heights, huh? Where's the girl who stood up to the biggest guy at our school, threatening him with razorblades in your hair?" Kurt grabs her by the shoulders and shakes her in any attempt to see a glimpse of his once overly confident friend.
"I...I..mhbrnshrver" she trails off under her breath. Kurt and Blaine look at her confused. Kurt lifts her head up by his hand on her chin.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing." she sighs.
"No no no. What did you say?"
"I'm in love with her." she breathes out.
"I know." Kurt nods.
"Wait you know? How do you know when I just realized it?"
"Of course we know Santana," Blaine speaks up, "I think I knew that day at the coffee shop when Kurt showed me that even when you're completely pissed off just seeing Brittany completely did a 180 on you."
"That's when I realized it too. I mean between that and the whole letter thing. I've never seen you like that."
"Mhm." Blaine hums in agreement.
"Wow. Well way to tell me guys."
"We knew it wouldn't take much longer for you to figure it out. Plus you wouldn't have believed it if I had told you then. You are quite stubborn sweetie." Kurt nudges her with a smirk.
"That is true." She nods and Kurt can see she's fighting her lips that form the slightest of smiles.
"Okay then let's finish this out and get you your girl. Preferably before it starts to downpour." he states pointing up to the darker clouds that are coming overhead.
"Yeah that's not helping at all. What if she goes home because it's raining?" She snaps her head down from the sky to her friends.
"Stop saying 'what if'! Quinn is with her and she'll make sure she's her. Now is everything in place? Music, lights, everything? And IF she doesn't like anything out of all of this it'll be that outfit. I think you should've just wore what I had picked out." Kurt says as he walks away checking to make sure they hadn't forgotten anything.
"Hummel just when I was starting to tolerate you again. There's no way in hell I'm wearing a full length gown for this." She says sharply as he continues to make his way over to where to music is setup.
They finished setting up within another half hour but Santana was still double checking everything that was set up and secure when Blaine tapped her on the shoulder.
"Quinn just texted me saying they just got to the park so they'll be here on time. Just breathe Santana she's going to love this." Blaine puts his hand on her shoulder and gives a light, reassuring squeeze.
"Okay. Alright. I can do this." she says to herself trying to shake her nerves.
Brittany was standing in line for a pretzel just inside the park happy to have a few moments to herself. She'd had a really great day with her best friend. Quinn took her to the mall and did some shopping, then grabbed a light lunch before going to an ice skating rink. She hadn't ice skated since she was younger and it was nice to get out there, even though she did fall a few times in the beginning. It was a perfect day to just relax but Brittany couldn't help but be on edge. Realizing Quinn was her admirer was shocking but with the day that they had she finally knew what she needed to do.
The truth was she hadn't been able to to get Santana out of her head the entire day. With everything Quinn had planned she couldn't help but think what Santana would have done differently. Where she would've taken her and how she would've treated her like when they went to the fair. She tried so many times to think about not think about her and just enjoy her time with Quinn but as much as she tried Santana just kept running through her mind. 'I'm suppose to hate her I can't keep thinking about her. She's just like Artie I shouldn't want anything to do with her. She just plays games like he did to me for so long I can't go through with that again.' She had to hold back the tears when she thought of the pain Santana had already caused her. 'She played me on my weakness and humiliated me, making me feel it all again. Quinn is sitting right over there and has been nothing less than amazing to me all day... ' she thinks as she looks over to her friend sitting on the bench playing on her phone. 'She's so easy to be around.. I just wish I felt something more for her. Maybe it's because she is perfect and I end up just falling for people who only end up hurting me.' She was in a constant battle with her head and heart all day and she knew she at least needed to tell Quinn how she was feeling and try to let her friend down as easy as possible. She leaves her spot in line and walks over to the bench where Quinn is sitting looking further into the park towards where the fountain is on the opposite side of a few lines of trees. 'Just be honest and she'll understand.' Brittany speaks as she sits down next to her best friend.
"Where's your pretzel?" Quinn asks curiously seeing her friend emptied handed next to her.
"I uhm.. I changed my mind." Brittany replies avoiding her eye contact and staring down to her lap.
"Well that's probably better anyway since we need to be getting to the fountain, I didn't realize how late it was." Quinn says as she gets up and waits for Brittany to follow.
She gets up and slowly begins to follow Quinn through the park towards the path that wraps around the trees. 'I can't let her go through with whatever she's planning. She probably has this whole thing so planned out and ughh.. just say something!'
"Quinn wait.. I can't. I can't do this anymore." she says gripping her friend's arm to stop her from walking any further along the path.
"Brittany I know you can. It's gonna be fine." She looks up quickly when feels small drops of water begin to hit her exposed skin, looking up to curse the rain clouds. 'Seriously not helping!' She tries to reassure her friend knowing everyone is waiting for them to get there so she turns and continues to walk at a bit of a faster pace with her hand now gripping Brittany's arm pulling her along. 'Just around the corner.. just a bit further.' she thinks as she pulls on Brittany's arm a bit more forcefully and they round the corner to the other side of the trees and she can see the fountain up ahead.
Brittany pulls her arm back slightly to slow their pace needing time to talk to Quinn before she starts whatever she had planned before everything went any further. "Quinn just slow down I need to talk to you."
"Sorry Britt, guess I'm just as eager for you to meet your admirer..plus it's raining we don't want that ruining anything so sooner the better you know..." she thinks up the quick excuse to explain why she's pretty much dragging her through the park.
"Quinn I need to talk to you before we get to the fountain. I have to tell you something." her eyes pleading.
"Right sorry Britt. What's going on?"
"I-" she trails off as she sees the display by the fountain as they approach and her heart sinks. Even in the rain she sees the glimmering lights hang from the trees closest to the fountain. There's a faint sound of instrumental music playing but she can't tell from where. 'Oh god she did all of this for.' She stops dead in her tracks and Quinn looks over to her hoping it has the effect that they were hoping for but her heart stops.
She sees her friend next to her in tears as the raining begins to get a bit heavier, someone may just think it's the rain but the fact that Brittany is beginning to shake and lets out soft cries verifies her thought. "Brittany.. what's wrong sweetheart?"
"So not helping." she whispers. Brittany tries to get a hold of herself quickly seeing that Quinn is worried and quite confused. She can't keep it all in anymore, "Quinn I just.. I already know it's you. I saw you drop off the last letter and this is all sweet and very romantic and everything but you're my best friend and well you're my friend I can't.. I mean I tried believe me I've been trying all day to just see you in that way but I just can't and I really wish I did. You're so sweet and funny and honest and have such a good heart and you're the person I should be falling for especially after those sweet letters but I just.. I can't feel anything for you like that and I don't want that to ruin our friendship. I'm not mad at you I get why you did it but I can't.. I just, I can't." She gasps for a breath as the rain comes down more.
Quinn stands in shock and tries to put together everything Brittany just said but before she can register everything Brittany speaks again. "I'm so sorry I just I can't do this I hope you can forgive but this is just- it's too much I'm sorry you went through all this trouble and I hope you don't hate me but I can't do this, I wish I could feel something but I don't.. I'm.. I'm sorry... I - - I.. I have to go." she rushes out of the park before Quinn can grab her to stop her from leaving.
"Brittany!" she calls after her friend and runs a bit in a the direction the way she ran. "Just wait! Britt! Shit!" she yells running her hand through her now soaked short hair before turning back around and runs the rest of the way to the fountain. Kurt sees her not noticing that she is one blonde friend short and begins the music that's stationed behind one of the lit up trees. "No wait! Stop it. Santana!" She yells out as she goes up to the stereo to stop the music and looks around for Santana.
"Quinn what the.. wait why are you out of breath? Where's Brittany?" Kurt asks before Santana and Blaine get to where they're standing. Quinn sees the pair approach them as she catches her breath.
"Q.. what happened?" Santana asks even though seeing what's happening she already has a good idea.
"Brittany.. she ran." she states looking at Santana apologetically and she sees the heartbreak written all over her face.
"She saw me and ran.." Santana breathes.
"No! No she never saw you... she thinks it's me. She got really upset when she saw the fountain and stuff and just blurted it out. She said she saw me dropping off the letter. She was upset because she thought it was me and she didn't want to hurt me letting me down but I think with everything that's happened she felt too bad and she just ran."
"Well she turned down you there's no way she would've stayed when she saw it's really me." Santana breathes out trying not to let her emotions get the better of her again seeing that she has missed her chance and telling Brittany the trust now having a bigger possibility of making things even worse.
"We need to go after her and explain." Blaine says
"But how she thought it was Quinn and ran away how do you expect for her to give me the time of day." Santana says defeated.
"No Santana it wasn't like that. She turned me down because I'm her best friend it's just not the relationship we have to develop anything from. Come on grab everything we can still make this work."
"Okay but can we move fast before it starts pouring any harder please my suede is water resistant not water proof and I'm not ruining this jacket!" Kurt says as he reaches to unplug the stereo."
"So what's the plan? Should I just go up to her door because pretty sure she'll just slam it in my face."
"Right now the plan is not to get pneumonia so let's move I'll explain on the way to the coffee shop. We should've just done this to begin with."
"Done what?" Santana asks in confusion as the group begins to gather everything.
"You'll see. Now come on let's go!"
Brittany rushes into the coffee shop as Tina is cleaning up, her sniffles and sudden burst through the door taking her by surprise.
"Oh hey Britt." She turns quickly to acknowledge her as she walks in, not noticing her emotion state.
"Hey Tina." She says as she quickly makes her way through the cafe and towards the back hallway not wanting Tina to see her and ask any questions. It takes a few tries to steady her shaking enough to put the key into the lock but once it's open she goes straight to her bedroom and collapses on her bed in tears and exhaustion.
Not long after Brittany gets upstairs the door to the cafe opens again which Tina when she hears her friends voice as well as other familiar ones.
"Hey Tina." Quinn says as she approaches the girl who is cleaning off tables.
"Hey Quinn and everybody else.." she says noticing Blaine, Kurt and Santana standing behind her. "What are you guys doing here.. with a stereo system?" she asks pointing the cd player and speakers that Blaine is carrying.
"We need your help."
"Does this have anything to do with Brittany practically running through her a little bit ago because if it's anything to cheer that girl up I'm in."
"Excellent." Kurt says, "We need to set this up and get you to get Brittany downstairs so we can get this ridiculous mess that is Santana's failed attempts of wooing a girl has failed at apparently."
"Hummel not the time." Santana snaps behind him.
"Well you can set up your stuff over there," she points across the room, "and I'll just finish this up and call Brittany."
"That sounds like a plan." Blaine says before turning to do as he was instructed.
A few minutes later after Tina counts out the cash register and makes sure everything behind the counter is turned off she pulls out her phone and text Brittany asking her to help with an issue she's having with the register. When she receives a text from Brittany saying she'll be a down in a couple minutes she tells the group. Everyone else aside from Santana leave the coffee shop. Kurt dims the lights on the switch by the door and gives Santana a thumbs up before following the rest of the group down the street leaving Santana on her own once again waiting for Brittany.
Santana stands by the stereo in the shadowed corner of the cafe knowing that if Brittany sees her immediately she'll probably bolt again. She steps back further into the corner when she sees the hallway light come on and hears Brittany's footsteps approach.
"Tina what the problem?" Brittany asks when she gets further inside. "Tina?" she calls when she sees there's no one at the register. "Tina where did you go?" she says as she approaches the counter by the register. She checks to see if the girl is playing with the cords when she hears soft a piano begin to play and looks to see where it's coming from. She can't make out the location of the soft melody now noticing how dark it is in the shop. 'Was it like this when I got back earlier?'
She looks around to find the source of the piano that she hears playing softly from somewhere across the room. 'What the- we don't have a piano here,' she begins to think but a familiar voice stops all her thoughts.
"When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love"
"Santana.." she breathes out searching the opposite side of the room from where she stands frozen by the counter when she hears footsteps and a figure appear out of the shadows.
"When the evening shadows
And the stars appearance
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could you for a million years
To make you feel my love"
Santana steps closer to the girl, her confidence building when she sees the hint of a smile pulling at Brittany's lips. She continues walking towards her making sure to not break her eye contact.
"I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong."
She steps in front of her and reaches for Brittany's hands. Who in her state of shock lets herself be pulled towards the center of the shop. Her heart is pounding against her chest as she tries to wrap around her head around everything that's happening. Santana standing in front of her, serenading her. She for once decides to not over think things and if just for a moment get lost within Santana's voice and the lyrics as she continues to sing.
"I'd go hungry
I'd go black and black
I'd go crawling down the avenue
Knowing there's nothing I wouldn't do," Santana gestures around them as she sings,
"To make you feel my love."
Her singing pauses as the music continues to play. Soft caramel eye lock with watering crystal blue. Brittany's tears cascade down her flushed cheeks. Santana gently removes them with her hand.
"San.." she whispers at the contact of Santana wiping her cheek with her thumb and slightly leans into the touch, which doesn't go unnoticed by Santana.
"Dance with me." she breathes taking the girl's hands in her own and pulling her further in the center of the cafe. She looks at Brittany as she brings her hands to the blonde's waist looking up to her for any objection. When she receives a shy nod she wraps her arms completely around Brittany's waist and continues the song once again. Brittany drapes her own arms over Santana's shoulders and steps closer to her and they begin to dance.
"The storm are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet."
Brittany steps closer, closing the few inches of space that was between them and rests her head on Santana's shoulder. She sighs as Santana sings softly against her ear while tightening her grip around Brittany's waist. Brittany doesn't think she'll ever understand the effect her voice or touch can have on her. She closes her eyes and lets herself feel everything she's been trying so hard not to as Santana gently sings the last verse against her ear.
"I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love
To make you feel my love."
She whispers the last line of the song as the piano gently dies out. Brittany doesn't make any attempt to move away just yet so neither does Santana. Instead Brittany's grip tightens around her as they stop dancing.
"That was beautiful." she whispers to the Latina as she buries her head in the crook of Santana's neck tightening her grip around her.
"I'm sorry." Santana speaks softly. Brittany doesn't respond right away so she takes in the moment. She takes in the feeling of being able to hold Brittany and never wanting to let go.
"Can we just.." Brittany pulls back to look at Santana in her completely vulnerable state. 'She really just did all this for me. It's...it's really her.'
"Can we what?" Santana searches crystal blue eyes.
"I need some time to think about this.. all of this...it's a lot. This is going to sound terrible because this was the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me but I just need some time.. I need.."
"Brittany I understand. I just.. I couldn't take lying to you anymore. You deserve honesty. You deserve honesty and love and respect and.. everything. You deserve the world Brittany and I just.. I want to be the one to give that to you. I know I lost your trust but I'll do anything to prove it to you that I..." she pauses. Singing the lyrics was one thing but actually saying the words scared her. 'It's too soon.. what if she doesn't feel the same? She just said she needed time I'll just make things worse...one step at a time.'
"that this.." she pulls back from Brittany but reaches for her hand and places it over her chest to feel her rapid heart beat. "Only happens whenever I'm around you or even just thinking about you..this is real Brittany."
Brittany doesn't know what to say. Wanting the admirer to be Santana was what she wanted the entire time but with everything that's happened she just doesn't know if she can trust her... 'Yet.' she thinks to herself as she feels Santana's heart pounding against her hand and part of her knows it's not just nerves from singing that have her heart beating that fast because she knows her heart is beating just as fast, if not faster.
"I've trusted people before and I've only ever been hurt in the end. I want to believe so badly that this is all real, that you've meant everything that you've said, wrote and sang to me but I just don't know if I can just yet."
"Brittany," she removes Brittany's hand from her chest and brings it down between them. She slips her pinky into Brittany's. "I promise I will never make you feel this way again. I will do anything to prove it to you if you just give me that chance."
"Can we.. can we just take it slow and just.. I don't know.. go from there?"
"Of course. I'll go at whatever pace you want to Brittany."
"Okay." Brittany says and grips her pinky that's still linked with Santana's.
"Okay?" she asks hopeful. Santana's not sure if she heard her right. She had hoped of course that Brittany would give her another chance but she never actually believed it would happen.
"Yeah..okay."
"Alright well I umm.. I'm not really sure what to do but you said you needed time so I'm gonna give you that. How about you take some time.. I'll stay away from here and give you your space and-"
"No." Brittany interjects quickly. "I want to see you and we need to talk about a lot of things but I do want to see you..I can't just say let's start as friends because I don't know if I could really take that.. I just.. I need to sort out my feelings and everything that's happened recently."
"Okay so how about I'll come to the shop like I normally would and maybe on your next day off we could talk like sit down and actually talk about everything?"
"Yeah I like that idea." Brittany says smiling at her.
"So.." Santana breaks the silence after a minute.
"So." Brittany repeats causing them both to chuckle on the awkwardness of what to do now.
"This is going to sound lame but would you.. would it be okay to walk you home?" she asks looking down at their pinkies linked.
Brittany grins at her offer. "You mean up the stairs right over there to my door?"
"Yeah it's lame forget I said.."
"I'd like that." Brittany smiles wider and causes Santana to look up and see Brittany's reaction. A smile breaks out on her face as well.
They walk down the hallway and up the stairs to Brittany's door as they both steal glances, looking away as soon as the other is caught. Brittany opens the door and turns to Santana who is chewing on her bottom lip and finding the floor pretty interesting at the moment.
"Thank you." Brittany says after a moment causing Santana to look up to her.
"Anytime." she replies shyly. 'Who ever thought any girl would ever end up having this effect on me. So whipped.'
"No not for walking me, well yeah that too, but I mean for the other stuff too. The letters and the song and just everything..I just- thank you." she rambles out not realizing she was going to be this flustered when she decided to thank Santana. 'The things she does to me.' Brittany thinks to herself.
"You know you're cute when you ramble." Santana smiles at her.
"Santana..." she shakes her head.
"What it's true. Anyway you're welcome, for everything."
"I want to talk to you about the letters and the song and everything but today has been just a bit overwhelming."
"I'm sorry it wouldn't have been if I just..."
"It's okay San, I just need some time like I said.. to process everything."
"Take all the time you need. I have no problem waiting as long as it takes for you." she says and it causes Brittany to blush. 'I love having that affect on her.' she thinks.
"So I'll see you this week?" Brittany asks after she opens the door to her apartment and turns back to her, looking at Santana hoping for a yes.
"Only if you want to." she responds searching Brittany's eyes this time.
"I do." she nods.
"Then you will. Maybe we can talk hanging out to talk later in the week when you're not busy?"
"That sounds like a good idea." Brittany replies.
"Okay well uhm..goodnight." Santana says awkwardly unsure of how to end things and Brittany picks up on her uncertainty.
Brittany walks towards her and wraps her arms around Santana's neck pulling her into a hug. Santana's arms slip around her waist and they're back into the same position as they had been downstairs after they had stopped dancing. Santana sighs and relaxes into Brittany instantly as does Brittany into her. They stand there for a minute before Brittany begins to slowly pull away again. She pulls back and her face is inches away from Santana's. She wants nothing more than to just kiss the girl like she's wanted to since she first saw her at the restaurant before that girl had kissed her. Just like when she had practically whispered the final lines to the song to her downstairs just moments ago. She knows it's too soon. She's not sure what the consequences may be and if her heart could take it if she does but she also isn't sure if it can take it if she doesn't.
Santana's breathing picked up knowing how badly she wants to close the short distance between them but she knows that Brittany needs to call the shots on their pace right now so she holds back not wanting to pressure Brittany even though her heart is yet again pounding against her chest at how close she is to having Brittany's softly lips on hers once again. She sees the uncertainty in Brittany's eyes. 'I don't want her to do it if she's going to just regret it.' she thinks before she makes the decision herself.
Santana leans in and kisses Brittany on her cheek and whispers, "Goodnight Brittany." She pulls back and sees the blush on Brittany's face.
She pulls out of the embrace completely knowing she wouldn't be able to control herself from actually kissing her much longer, especially when Brittany's looks so adorable when she's flustered. She backs away towards the stairs smiling at Brittany who finally snaps from her daze.
She looks at Santana with a shy smile "Goodnight Santana." she breathes causing them both to smile at the other. She steps back into her apartment and closes the door once Santana begins to walk down the stairs turning for one last look at the blonde before she's out sight.