Author's note: Merry Christmas to whoever reads this! I know, this chapter is slow and there's no real "action" going on. Still, it takes Ginny's and Blaise's relationship forward and I think it needs to be slow in order to stay somewhat realistic.

Swallowing Some Pride

Ginny concentrated really hard, and refused to leave the frying pan out of sight even for a split second, as she was frying some eggs and bacon for breakfast. One would think that she'd be great at cooking considering the fact that her mother's food was always delicious, but Ginny had far too many memories of herself burning things at the Burrow and it appeared that she hadn't exactly inherited Molly Weasley's talent.

She would have asked Fleur for help, but she and Bill had decided to pay a visit to Bill and Ginny's family at aunt Muriel's this day. Once again, Ginny had asked to come but her brother had snorted loudly.

"Why, do you want to bring Zabini?" he'd asked and Ginny had rolled her eyes.

"Of course not"

"Well we can't leave him here all alone, can we? Who knows what he might do..."

What would Blaise Zabini do if had Shell Cottage all to himself? Burn the house down? Ginny honestly doubted that... She was brought back to reality by the sound of someone, him, descending the stairs and she turned around to face him.

Speak of the devil... Or more likely think of him.

She could see how he eyed the frying pan curiously, probably wondering what she was doing. Ginny smiled at him.

"Breakfast?"

"Sure"

Blaise slowly made his way into the kitchen and, after having taken a quick look around, asked:

"Where is your brother?"

Ginny put some eggs and bacon on two plates and said:

"They're visiting my parents. I wanted to come but... well..."

She drifted off. What was she going to say? "I couldn't because of you"? Yeah, that'd probably make him feel loads better...

But judging from his face expression he could put two and two together. He locked his gaze with hers.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly and at that moment he looked so sincere Ginny couldn't help shaking her head several times, feeling almost upset for having made him feel guilty.

"No, it's fine!" she said reassuringly. "I'll see them this weekend anyway"

There was a short silence and she turned to face the frying pan again, just to have something to do.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Ginny found it hard to hide her surprise. A slytherin, not only asking for help by coming here but also to help? Maybe she really did have a bad influence on him...

Or maybe it's just because you never bothered to get to know him before. Maybe he's always been like this. You've just been too blinded by prejudices to see it.

Once everything was done, they sat down to eat. Ginny couldn't help feeling slightly pleased with herself as she saw Blaise's impressed face expression. There was bacon, egg, toast, tea and all other things one could possibly want to eat in the morning.

"Do you always have breakfast like this?" he asked. "It's almost like Hogwarts..."

"At least I used to, my mum practically lives in the kitchen" She helped herself to a piece of toast. "Her food is almost as brilliant as the one at school, if you don't mind me saying"

"Not at all" Blaise reassured her, pouring himself some tea.

Another silence. Ginny hesitated. She knew how he usually reacted whenever she asked him something personal about himself. And maybe he thought he'd given her enough information the day before. But she couldn't help herself:

"You never have breakfast like this at home?"

He snorted loudly.

"Who'd make it, my mother? She hasn't cooked a single meal in her life, I can assure you. Though I'm pretty sure our house-elf would cook all this if I asked it to"

Right. Of course his family owned a house elf... Ginny couldn't help smiling.

"You know, if Hermione had caught you calling a house-elf 'it' she would have gone mental"

Blaise grimaced.

"Why, is she still doing that SPEW-thing?"

Ginny laughed.

"You know about that?"

He stared at her in disbelief, raising his eyebrows slightly before muttering:

"The whole school does, it was a joke amongst us slytherins for weeks... Spew..."

"Well... at least her intentions were good"

Ginny felt like she had to defend her friend somehow, but she couldn't stop grinning no matter how much she wanted to. Slytherin or not, Blaise was right. SPEW probably wasn't one of Hermione's most brilliant ideas... His words brought her back to reality:

"Of course they were... You gryffindors are all good"

"And you slytherins are all evil" Ginny retorted quickly, her voice full of humor.

Blaise smirked.

"Finally we're agreeing on something"

They both fell silent and Ginny took a small sip from her tea.

"Can I ask you a question?"

She got so taken aback by his words that she could do nothing but stare at him for a few seconds. Usually, she was the one asking all the questions. She was the one who wanted to know more about him. Well, not this time apparently.

"Sure"

Blaise looked away from her, eying the window to his left.

"What's so special about Potter?"

What surprised Ginny the most wasn't the question itself, but the way he said it. He didn't sound particularly scornful or frustrated. Just curious.

"Special?" she repeated, furrowing slightly.

"Yeah, what is it about him that makes all gryffindors lick his shoes?"

"Nobody licks his shoes..." Ginny started but Blaise interrupted her by rolling his eyes demonstratively.

"That was a metaphor, Ginny"

He'd used her first name more than once before, but it still made her heart beat slightly faster than usual every time... She was silent for a moment. If he really wanted an answer to that question, then why not?

"Harry is... nice. He cares for others and he'd never put himself first. He tries so hard to protect everyone..."

She drifted off, suddenly thinking about last year. When his need to protect others had gotten in the way of their relationship. When he'd practically dumped her and then did his best to avoid her until that day of Bill and Fleur's wedding when he, Ron and Hermione had taken off...

"Doesn't seem as if that pleases you though"

She looked at Blaise, who eyed her expectantly. Waiting for more.

"I think it'd be good for him to let others in at times..." Ginny started and, after having taken a deep breath, added:

"Not so unlike yourself"

"Are you actually comparing me to Potter?"

Blaise looked as if she'd slapped him across the face and Ginny smirked.

"Yeah, maybe I am. Consider it a compliment"

He stared at her as if she'd gone mental, shaking his head in disbelief. Ginny took her chance:

"What's so special about Draco Malfoy?"

She could see how Blaise tried his best to hide a smile.

"Believe it or not, but Draco and I were never a couple..."

Ginny rolled her eyes again.

"I know that! But he's your best friend, isn't he?"

"So?"

"So there must be something about him. Something... good that the rest of us can't see"

She hoped that he couldn't see how hard she found it to believe in her own words. She hadn't once seen Draco Malfoy behave nice, or even polite, during her almost six years at Hogwarts. Why would anyone want to be friends with him, really?

Blaise raised one perfect eyebrow and pointed out:

"I'm not the only friend he has, you know"

Almost immediately, Ginny came to think of Crabbe and Goyle. As far as she'd been able to tell he'd always treated them like scum, even though they probably deserved it...

"More like slaves..." she muttered.

"If you're referring to Crabbe and Goyle he's barely talking to those two these days"

Blaise didn't sound angry but there was a hint of annoyance in his voice and Ginny couldn't blame him; how would she react if he jumped to conclusions about her friends? But wasn't that what he was doing all the time? "You gryffindors are all good" "What's so special about Potter?"

But she decided not to point that out to him. Instead she waited, feeling as if something else was coming.

"Draco's complicated" Blaise finally told her, his voice low. "And he's been acting the way he has in the past because it's... it's the only thing he knows. Life hasn't always been easy on him"

"But that's no excuse for his behavior..." Ginny said quietly. "I mean, he's called Hermione 'mudblood' and me 'bloodtraitor' so many times I've lost count..."

"I know it's no excuse" Blaise interrupted her. "But it's a reason"

She froze. Those words, that he'd just used, was exactly what she'd been trying to tell herself yesterday when thinking about Blaise himself... She suddenly came to think of what he'd said earlier:

Finally we're agreeing on something.

Maybe they weren't so different after all?

Blaise's point of view

"Find anything interesting?"

Blaise jumped at the sound of Ginny's voice and turned around quickly, only to see her standing in the doorway leading into the living room. She smiled slightly at his surprised looking face expression.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you"

"It's fine..." he muttered before he turned back to the enormous bookshelf standing against the wall. "Your brother must be really into reading"

There were so many books Blaise knew it'd take him hours to count them and even though he'd never been particularly interested in reading before (he never went to borrow books in the Hogwarts library if he could help it) he was curious. For the first time in his life, he actually wanted to know what was on those pages and who'd written all of it.

He wanted their stories, perhaps to have something to compare to his own crazy life...

"I think they're mostly Fleur's" Ginny replied, interrupting his thoughts. "At least Bill didn't have that many books when they moved in here. Mum and dad could never afford..."

She drifted off and this time Blaise didn't turn around to meet her gaze. He had no idea what to say in a situation like this. He was pretty sure that she didn't want him to pity her and the last thing she'd need was him telling her that he knew how it felt, which he didn't.

Blaise had never been even close to poor in his whole life and he'd always gotten what he wanted, at least when it came to things one could buy for money. Her world, with second-hand books and robes that had previously belonged to her older brothers, was thousands of miles away from his.

"You can borrow some, if you'd like" Ginny said, nodding towards the bookshelf. "I'm sure Bill and Fleur wouldn't mind"

While feeling moved by her words, Blaise couldn't stop himself from snorting. He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Really?"

She shrugged.

"Well, even if they actually did they won't be home for a couple of hours so it'll be fine. You should try this one"

Before he had time to properly react Ginny had entered the living room and grabbed one of the many books. She handed it to him and he eyed the cover carefully.

"Alice in Wonderland" he read out loud, furrowing. "I've never heard of it"

"Neither had I, until Hermione convinced me to read it a couple of years ago"

Blaise froze for a second before slowly raising his head to look at her.

"Is this a muggles book?"

"Yes, but I won't let that stop you from giving it a chance" Ginny pushed it back into his hands before he had time to hand it over to her. "You might find yourself enjoying it"

"I doubt that" Blaise muttered and he could see how Ginny opened her mouth, probably to object, but was interrupted as someone opened the front door leading into the house.

A few seconds later Bill and Fleur both turned up in the doorway, their hairs messy and their cheeks slightly red from the wind outside.

"Ginny!" Bill said, eying the pair of them curiously.

It wasn't until then that Blaise realized how close he and Ginny stood and they they both held onto one side each of Alice in Wonderland. However, Ginny let the book go at the sound of her brother's voice and once again firmly pushed it into Blaise's hands. She backed a few steps and he did the same.

Some distance was good.

"Hi Bill" Ginny said, smiling at him. "Are you back already? I thought you'd be gone for at least another couple of hours"

"Change of plans. We thought we'd come home earlier to make sure that everything's all right"

Blaise tried his very hardest not to make a remark or even roll his eyes when he saw the suspicious look in Ginny's brother's eyes. He couldn't blame Bill and Fleur for being careful, but being treated like a bomb was only getting more annoying by the second. Thankfully, Ginny seemed to notice that he found it hard to hide his frustration since she suddenly burst out:

"Fleur! Let me help you with dinner, what do you have planned for tonight?"

She started walking towards the exit of the living room to take her brother's and sister-in-law's mind off Blaise but as she passed him by she whispered to him:

"Keep it for now. It's not like they'll notice it's missing"

Without really knowing why, Blaise found himself listening to her and hid the book behind his back until she, Bill and Fleur had all left the living room and entered the kitchen to start preparing tonight's dinner.

Bill's point of view

Bill couldn't sleep. He was quite used to it by now, since his thoughts were usually occupied with the war day and night. But this night, as he lay there staring absentmindedly at the pulled-down curtain in his and his wife's bedroom, the war and what would happen if Voldemort won weren't his biggest worries.

His sister and Blaise Zabini were.

Bill wasn't stupid, or blind. Having been working at Gringotts for several years he was an expert at noticing any kind of suspicious behavior and there was no better word to describe the scene that he and Fleur had walked in on today when returning from aunt Muriel's.

They'd been standing close. Too close. And Ginny had been handing him a book. Bill knew that he was perhaps reading too much into it, but why would she do that? Why would she give him a part of her world? He knew that Alice in Wonderland was one of her favorites... What kind of relationship did those two really share? He sighed heavily.

"Can't zleep 'oney?"

He could feel Fleur's hand squeezing his shoulder gently and he grabbed it. She was always some sort of comfort whenever he felt like this. His saviour.

"No" he replied quietly. "I'm just... thinking"

"About what?"

Bill hesitated. He had tried to bring this matter up to Fleur yesterday but judging from the way she quickly changed the subject she wasn't really willing to listen. But if he ever wanted to fall asleep he had to talk to someone, and since she was the only one present...

"Ginny and Zabini"

Now it was Fleur's turn to sigh.

"Tell me, what iz it about thoze two that botherz you zo much?"

"Well, what is it that doesn't bother you?"

Bill turned around in bed to face his wife and rested his head on his hand to lock his gaze with hers. He continued:

"I tried to bring this up yesterday but it's obvious that you don't want to talk about it. Don't you get the feeling that something's going on between those two? I mean you saw how their faces were only inches apart when she handed him that book in the living room today... He could have kissed her for god's sake!"

He was so upset with his own words that he hadn't realized that he'd raised his voice. Fleur hushed him and she was right to do so; it wouldn't be too good if Bill's little speech about how much he worried would wake Ginny and Blaise. His wife raised her eyebrows at him, almost challengingly.

"What makez you zo sure 'e would be the one to kizz 'er?"

"What, you mean that Ginny would kiss him?" Bill snorted. "No way!"

Fleur sighed again, turning around in bed so her husband wouldn't catch her rolling her eyes at him. She hadn't told him that Ginny had practically let slip that her and Blaise's relationship was indeed... special, and she didn't intend to, either.

If this was how he reacted to his own thoughts, one could scarcely imagine what he'd say and do if he found out how Ginny was feeling.

Ginny's point of view

Ginny had promised to help Fleur doing the dishes after dinner and as she stood there, looking out the window while drying off the plates, she spotted someone standing with his back facing her, down by the beach. Even though she couldn't see his face, Ginny knew for sure who it was. Blaise had excused himself shortly after they'd all finished dinner and whilst Bill and Fleur went into the living room he had grabbed his cloak from upstairs and then exited through the front door.

As she'd finished doing the dishes minutes later, Ginny let her gaze rest on the sky for a moment. It wasn't completely dark outside yet and as the sun was about to set, traces of pink and yellow stood out against the white clouds. It was a beautiful scene, and she couldn't blame Blaise for wanting to spend some time out there...

Knowing that there was nothing else for her to do in here, she silently wondered if he might want to be alone. What if he was occupied with his own thoughts and the last thing he needed was her company? Not that she ought to care, but she didn't want to annoy him...

But what if he doesn't want to be alone? What if he actually needs company?

Given thought of everything he'd been through lately, that actually made sense. Ginny decided to listen to her inner voice for once and after having grabbed her cloak she headed down to the beach herself. She figured that he must have heard her steps, but Blaise didn't even turn to look at her as she went to stand next to him.

Was that a good or a bad thing?

Ginny remained silent for a short while and then, with her eyes resting on the ocean, she said:

"It's beautiful out here, isn't it?"

She could see from the corner of her eye how he nodded slightly, still not looking at her.

"Yes"

Ginny closed her eyes for a moment, simply to take in the only sounds which where coming from the wind and the ocean. As Blaise seemed to have settled for silence, she let her mind wander. How long had he been here now? Three days, four? It was strange, but time had passed by even quicker than she'd wanted it to. Having him around hadn't been awkward (at least not when she was alone with him) or felt particularly wrong. She'd actually enjoyed his company.

He was one of those persons who could stay around without bothering her all the time, and Ginny really liked that. He could sit in the same room as her, reading Alice in Wonderland, and let her finish whatever she was doing in peace. He didn't ask stupid or annoying questions and he simply wasn't... too much. Spending time with him was easy. Comfortable.

Tomorrow, she'd go to Muriel's place to celebrate Fred and George's birthday and he'd go back to Hogwarts. What would happen when the holidays were over and she came back to school? Would they go back to ignoring each other most of the time and only acknowledge each other's existence whenever nobody else was around?

Ginny opened her eyes again.

"Please do me a favor"

Now, Blaise actually turned to look at her but he still didn't say anything. She continued:

"Tell me what you're thinking. Right now"

To her great surprise, he sighed before turning to face the horizon again.

"Right now, I'm thinking that I should thank you"

"For what?"

He was quiet for a moment before nodding towards Shell Cottage.

"For all of this. Where would I be if you hadn't convinced your brother to let me stay? I wasn't strong enough to apparate, I wouldn't have been able to go anywhere else..."

He drifted off. She could tell that he didn't like discussing this, and she didn't blame him the slightest.

"You saved my life once, when Parkinson tried to hit me with that curse, remember?"

Blaise nodded slowly, clenching his jaw. It was obvious that that wasn't something he enjoyed thinking about. Ginny still remembered what he'd said to her, his eyes burning with fury:

She could have killed you.

Was that really true?

"So we're even" she finished quietly.

Blaise looked at her again and Ginny found herself seeing nothing but his eyes. Except for his lips, perhaps, parting slowly as he spoke:

"Yeah... I guess we are"

But what did that even mean? That everything between them was over? That they had no reason to ever speak to one another again? It was until now that Ginny realized how close her face was to his. She moved her eyes from his lips to his eyes again, swallowing hard. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but no words came out.

Ginny wasn't sure what she wanted. But at that moment, losing herself in his eyes seemed like a great option...

What?! What are you thinking?!

The tension broke. As usual, the voice inside her head was right. What on earth was she thinking? Ginny closed her eyes, only for a split second, and then he said:

"I should head back inside. I'll see you later"

She'd, once again, lost her ability to speak and watched him leave without saying a word. She'd lost count of how many times that had happened now. Why did he always do that? Maybe it was all he knew. Maybe that was what he, during his whole life, had been taught?

At least when leaving, one wouldn't risk getting hurt. And that was easier.

Blaise's point of view

Blaise stood by the window in his bedroom at Shell Cottage, watching as the darkness drew closer and closer. It was all a witness of how long he'd been standing here. Way too long. At least it was a beautiful view, Ginny had been right about that.

Tomorrow he'd be back at Hogwarts and so this would be the last time he'd ever see it. Considering the fact that they'd put a memory charm on him, he probably wouldn't even remember any of it.

He froze. He'd never bothered to ask Ginny exactly what that memory charm would take away from his memory. Just the location of this place? Or everything?

His mind was suddenly filled with images. Ginny holding his hand the night he came here, telling him that it was going to be all right. Ginny's hurt looking face expression when he told her he wouldn't have come here if he had a choice. The upset and shocked look in her eyes when he told her everything that had happened.

"I don't pity you. I'm sorry for you and the things you've been through"

Her words played like on repeat in his head.

The two of them having breakfast together. Breakfast. Like a bloody couple...

Their encounter down by the beach just a couple of hours ago. It seemed longer.

Blaise wasn't the boasting type and he'd never admit it to anyone but himself, but he had always been quite popular amongst the girls. If there was anyone who knew what an almost-kiss felt like, it was him. Even though all of his earlier almost-kisses had led to actual ones...

But it was different this time. She was different. Because she was Ginny Weasley. He'd been about to kiss her and he'd wanted to do it. All he'd seen was her pale skin without a single flaw, her brown eyes that were so easy to lose oneself in and her lips. Those soft looking lips that he'd so badly wanted to taste...

Stop it.

The words "bloodtraitor", "Weasley" and "gryffindor" hadn't crossed his mind once when standing out there, with his face only millimeters from hers. And that was the reason why he had to get out of here as soon as possible. Who knew what might happen if he stayed?

Perhaps nothing. She'd had Harry Bloody Potter and could probably have anyone she wanted, so why would she ever want him? She wouldn't.

Blaise looked away from his window and turned his face to stare at the bed. Suddenly, it didn't look even the slightest inviting and he realized that he wasn't tired. He considered his options.

He could lie there for hours, staring at the ceiling and hate himself for how he felt and what he wanted to do. Or, he could go downstairs and try to take his mind off everything by borrowing another book from that enormous bookshelf. Alice in Wonderland was, even though he'd never admit it to anyone, quite interesting but right now it'd only remind him of her...

Option number two won and Blaise silently left his bedroom at Shell Cottage, careful not to wake Ginny, Bill or Fleur.

Ginny's point of view

Ginny stared down at the kitchen table she was sitting by, pressing her lips hard together while doing so. It was past midnight and she knew that she should be in bed, since she'd have to get up early the next morning to go to aunt Muriel's.

But she couldn't possibly sleep when all she had in mind was this evening's events. As soon as she'd watched Blaise walk away from her down at the beach, she'd looked down at her own hands. They'd been trembling. Badly. And her heart had pounded so fast she thought it might have exploded in her chest.

They'd been standing that close before, when he'd comforted her after Luna's disappearance. But this was different. Back then, she'd been too devastated to even consider it weird. But this time, it had felt so wrong. And yet so right.

She hadn't been able to look away from his eyes. Or his lips. And the very worst part; she didn't want to. If only for a short while, maybe just a split second, Ginny wanted something else entirely...

No.

She couldn't even think that. And why would he ever want to kiss her? No matter how nice he'd been, she'd always be a bloodtraitor to him. A gryffindor. Harry Potter's ex girlfriend. A Weasley. She would always be all those things he could never be and never accept. And no matter how much she tried to ignore it, the thought itself was depressing.

Ginny's thoughts were interrupted as she heard a sound coming from behind her and she jumped slightly, turning around in her seat. And there he was.

Great, just what she needed. More confusion.

Blaise looked a bit tired, with dark circles under his eyes and his face slightly paler than usual. But he still eyed her carefully and she got the feeling that he was taking in every single part of her. She looked away, suddenly scared to death that she was blushing.

"Can't sleep either?" she asked quietly and he shook his head.

"No. I have too much on my mind"

"So do I"

If only you knew...

Sometimes, she wish he actually did know. Everything.

"Can I sit down?"

Blaise took a few steps towards her, but it was obvious that he was waiting for her reply. Ginny shrugged slightly.

"It's a free country"

She could see from the corner of her eye how he waited for a second, perhaps for her to add something or even change her mind. When she didn't, he sat down opposite her and leaned slightly backwards in his chair.

"Are you excited about getting to see the rest of your family tomorrow?"

Honestly, since when was he so keen on asking all the questions?! That had always been her job...

"Yeah..." She forced herself to meet his intense gaze. "I mean, I haven't seen them since Christmas so..."

She drifted off. What else was there to say?

Everything.

I don't want to leave here because I don't want this to end. I don't want to go back to Hogwarts and continue to play this game, acting like complete strangers. And above all, I don't want to hear you say that you don't feel the same way.

"I guess I'll see you next week then" Blaise said, his voice low. "At school"

"Are you sure of that? That you'll 'see' me?"

She refused to drop his gaze, no matter how much she wanted to. She felt exposed.

"Or will everything just go back to normal, normal as in I can't even say hi to you when I see you in the corridors?"

Why did the thought itself hurt so bad?

He opened his mouth, but Ginny reached him to it.

"You know what, don't even answer that"

At that moment, she knew that she was too afraid of his answer. And before he had time properly react to her words, she'd stood up.