At A Loss For Words
"Oh this town
Kills you when you're young"
Anna Ternheim - Shoreline
It was difficult to tell how much time that passed. With Blaise constantly on her mind, Ginny kept fighting next to her friends and family to defeat the death eaters. Pansy and Daphne had both taken off soon after Blaise headed towards the Great Hall with Tracey, both with really frightened look on their faces. If Ginny hadn't been so busy fighting for her life she probably would have snorted.
She was just about to cast another disarming spell when the ice cold voice from earlier cut through the air, causing even the death eaters to stop trying to curse whoever was within reach. Ginny swallowed, she knew the second the first word was uttered that it was Lord Voldemort speaking:
"I now command my forces to retreat..."
Ginny met her father's gaze and then they both turned to look at the death eaters who slowly lowered their wands with suspicious looks on their faces, almost as if they expected Voldemort to add that what he'd just said was nothing but a joke. But he didn't.
"Harry Potter, I now speak directly to you" the voice continued and Ginny felt numb. "You have allowed your friends to die rather than come and face me yourself. There is no greater dishonor"
It was obvious why Voldemort was doing this, and judging from the looks on Ginny's friends' faces she was not the only one who thought so. It was common knowledge that Harry hated the thought of anyone dying on his behalf and so this was a perfect way to get to him.
What if he'd actually listen to Voldemort?
After a short pause the voice finished:
"Join me in the Forbidden Forest. If you fail to show up I will kill every last man, woman and child that tries to conceal you from me. You have one hour"
Ginny barely even noticed that most of the death eaters left the scene and that the small group of Hogwarts students and members of the Order were following their lead. She felt like her feet were stuck on the ground and it wasn't until Madison grabbed her arm that she was able to move again.
"Ginny come on, there's nothing more for us here"
The two of them, accompanied by Neville, slowly started walking down the corridor and Ginny had to convince herself that there was no point staying to take a closer look at the few bodies lying every here and there. They were all dead, and seeing their faces would only make it worse.
She thought of Blaise.
"We should go to the Great Hall" she said out loud, speaking to no one in particular.
Madison nodded silently and Neville seemed to be taking a deep breath before he asked:
"You don't... You don't think Harry will..."
"That I'll what?"
Ginny looked up abruptly, only to find Harry standing right in front of her. His face was pale, his glasses were about to fall off his nose and he had a big scratch on his left cheek. However, what caught her attention was the small glass vial he clutched in his right hand. He looked so upset she was afraid to ask any questions. Luckily, Neville did the job for her:
"Where are Ron and Hermione? Are they all right?"
Harry nodded shortly.
"They're in the Great Hall"
At this, he sent Ginny a quick look that she couldn't make anything out of. His voice was trembling slightly as he added:
"You should go there"
"We're on our way, but where are you going?" Neville asked, nodding towards the small glass vial that he'd apparently just noticed. "Not to the Forbidden Forest, right?"
"I'm heading for Dumbledore's office. There's something I need to... take care of"
Take care of? What did that even mean? Ginny could feel her heart pounding like crazy inside her chest, and she couldn't stop thinking that Harry hadn't really answered Neville's question. Why couldn't he just say: "No, I will not join Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest" if that was the truth?
Because he is going there a small voice whispered inside her head. And there's nothing you can do about it.
"What is that?"
Ginny's words came out as nothing but a mere whisper as she pointed at the small vial in Harry's hand. It seemed to be filled with some sort of white liquid that constantly moved around, almost like tiny snakes...
Harry spent a second looking the way Ginny was pointing and then he said, his voice showing no sign of emotion whatsoever:
"Snape's dead"
Ginny didn't know how to react to these news. Just like her friends, she remained where she was and didn't say anything. Madison was the first one to speak up:
"Wh... what?"
Harry nodded.
"Nagini killed him"
"And did you kill Nagini?" Ginny immediately asked, thinking about the vision Harry had had just as they got out of the Room of Requirement earlier.
If they didn't kill the snake, they could never kill Voldemort...
She knew the answer to her own question the second she looked into Harry's eyes. Her heart sank as he said:
"No"
Neville opened his mouth to say something but Harry interrupted him:
"I have to go"
"But..."
"I'll see you later"
And before any of them had time to dwell on the matter, he was gone. Thinking that there was nothing else for them to do Ginny, Neville and Madison continued their pace towards the Great Hall. As they reached their destination it was difficult to make out anything at first. Even in here, a lot of fighting seemed to have been going on and two out of the four house tables were broken in two. There were pieces of stone everywhere and the air was filled with dust, making it hard to get a clear view.
But none of that was what really caught Ginny's attention. What she noticed was that now that Voldemort's forces had retreated, no spells were shot and no sounds were made. The Great Hall was almost completely silent and people were sitting and standing practically everywhere, hugging their beloved ones and crying with looks of despair and grief on their faces.
What she noticed was that up front, close to the staff table, her own family was gathered. She noticed that they were all leaning over someone, and she didn't hear how Neville and Madison both tried to calm her down as she started running towards them. And once she was standing next to her mother, breathing heavily and feeling more scared than she ever had in her entire life, it only took her a moment to realize who was missing.
Fred.
It was Fred, her brother, who lay on the ground with a peaceful and yet frightening look on his pale face. Dead.
"NO!"
During the last couple of months, Ginny had had quite a lot of time to imagine what losing someone would be like. But she'd never thought it'd be like this. Already, only seconds after she'd realized what had happened, the pain was unbearable. It cut through every single part of her and pierced her heart so many times she felt like it broke over and over again.
Without really knowing what she did, Ginny got down on her knees and barely felt the tears that were streaming down her face. Charlie had his hand on her left shoulder and her mother squeezed her right hand tightly, but none of it helped the slightest. Watching the pain in their eyes, knowing that they felt just as bad as she did, only made it worse.
"No no no..."
Ginny grabbed one of Fred's cold hands in her own and held it as hard as she could. She tried to focus on breathing, even though it barely seemed to matter anymore. Did any of this matter? Would anything ever matter again?
She felt dead. Empty. And yet so full of feelings she'd never felt before.
All around her, there was death. People crying for their friends. Families. Beloved ones. Only meters away from Fred lay Remus and Tonks. They would never have the chance to see their son grow up and Teddy would never know his parents...
The pain never stopped.
And that's when she spotted him. From the corner of her eye, Ginny saw Blaise entering the Great Hall. Tracey and Madam Pomfrey were both by his side, Tracey limping slightly even though her leg was now covered in bandages. Breathing heavily, feeling like the thought of losing Fred was about to suffocate her, Ginny met his gaze. She could tell from the look in his eyes that he knew.
She ran towards Blaise and the next second she was in his arms, crying harder than she ever had in her entire life. It still hurt and her heart still seemed to be on fire. But with his arms around her and the way he kept trying to calm her down, it was all just a bit more bearable. She could breathe again, but still buried her face in his shoulder.
"I'm sorry" he said quietly and she could hear on his voice that it hurt him to see her hurting. "I'm so sorry"
Blaise's point of view
Even though he might have had reasons to, Blaise had never imagined himself being in a situation like this one. There were so many things he wanted to tell Ginny, so much he wanted her to know, and yet he couldn't bring himself to utter a single word.
For what could he possibly say that could make any of it all right? Nothing.
She'd just lost her brother and the pain in her eyes made him feel as if his heart had just been split in two. Seeing her like this hurt in a way he'd never experienced before and he hated that she had to go through this. He hated all of it.
He and Ginny had left the Great Hall, after she'd asked him to, and were now sitting alone on the stone steps leading out of the castle. She was leaning her head against his shoulder and as he took a quick glance at her he could see that she looked completely exhausted. She didn't cry anymore; perhaps she'd run out of tears. Blaise didn't know whether that was possible.
Never before had he seen Ginny's beautiful and bright face look so pale and... dead. Never before had her brown eyes seemed so empty. They'd both stayed silent for what seemed like a really long time, and it almost startled him when she eventually spoke up:
"He's always been there"
Blaise looked at her, but remained silent. He felt that it was important to let her finish and she soon continued, voice breaking:
"I haven't lived a single day of my life without him. And now... now he's just... He's gone"
Tears started streaming down her face again and Blaise was desperate for any way to make it stop. Seeing her like this was almost more than he could handle. He swallowed before he eventually said:
"I know"
"I know"? Was that really all he could come up with? He felt like an idiot.
"Then please make it stop"
For the first time in a really long while, Ginny met his gaze and when she did he almost wished she hadn't. She looked absolutely devastated and he could see her hands shaking.
"I can't"
He grabbed her hand, feeling like he never wanted to let go.
"But it hurts, Blaise" She cried so much it was hard to make out her words. "All these people we've lost, it hurts and I can't... I can't..."
"Yes you can"
Blaise practically forced her to look into his eyes again, knowing how important it was that she understood the meaning of what he was about to say. It was a wonder his voice carried as he added:
"Listen to me: you can handle it. You're strong and I know that you'll get through this"
"No" Ginny shook her head fiercly. "No, it hurts too much. And I don't know how to... This is just..."
She drifted off, and he didn't make her finish. Instead, Blaise just held her close and watched as she slowly started to calm down. Once again, exhaustion seemed to have taken over.
"I know" he repeated softly, still not letting go of her hand. "I know"
Ginny's point of view
Ginny didn't know how she would have gotten through the next hour if it weren't for Blaise's mere presence. She knew that her family probably needed her more than ever, but right now she couldn't join them. She wouldn't make it without his strength and the way he, somehow, managed to make her believe that she'd survive all this.
She had to.
"The sun's almost up"
She didn't recognize her own voice. The sun was rising on the first day of her new life that would never be the same. The life without Fred.
"Are you cold?" Blaise asked and Ginny shook her head slowly.
"No"
After all, it was May and the air felt almost... warm. Ironic, considering everything that was going on arond them... Ginny swallowed. Perhaps she just needed to turn it all off. Perhaps that was the only way to make it...
"Harry?"
Her thoughts were interrupted when Harry exited through the front doors and passed her and Blaise by. He had a determined look on his face and yet something was not right.
"Harry what's wrong?" Ginny asked.
With everything else going on, she'd almost forgotten about the fact that Voldemort had asked Harry to meet him in the Forbidden Forest. But now it all came back to her. Surely that wasn't where he was going now?
You know it is.
Harry looked perplexed, almost shocked. He didn't meet neither Ginny's nor Blaise's gaze as he managed to utter the words:
"Snape... My mum..."
Ginny and Blaise exchanged a quick glance and Ginny furrowed before she turned to look at Harry again.
"What are you talking about?"
But Harry seemed to be done talking. He locked his gaze with Ginny's for a split second, his eyes filled with so many things she couldn't put her finger to, before he looked away.
"I have to go"
As he started walked down the stone steps Ginny stood up abruptly, calling after him:
"Harry where are you going? HARRY!"
But he didn't turn around, and he didn't answer her question. Ginny was left standing there, Blaise by her side, silently wondering whether she ought to follow Harry or not. It seemed to be the right thing to do, and yet she had a feeling that he really, really wanted to be left alone...
"Well... That's not something you see every day"
Blaise's voice interrupted Ginny's thoughts and as she glanced up at him she could see that he'd turned his head and was now facing a group of students that had exited through the front doors. The interesting part, however, was that the group consisted of both Gryffindor and Slytherin students. Ginny's and Blaise's friends were walking side by side, not seeming very friendly towards each other but definitely not fighting, either. It was all quite a remarkable sight, but Neville sounded perfectly calm as he asked Ginny:
"Where did Harry go?"
Judging from the look on his face, he was also suspecting that Harry had planned to go join Voldemort. Ginny shook her head slowly.
"I don't know. Should we..."
But she drifted off. For coming out of the Forbidden Forest, getting closer and closer by the second, were a few witches and wizards that were definitely death eaters. Ginny didn't recognize any of them at first, but Blaise's friend Theo suddenly said, voice full of disbelief:
"Mother?"
As the small group drew even closer, Ginny noticed that Blaise seemed to be having the same problem as Theo. His mother was there, too; she recognized her from King's Cross and platform 9 3/4. The thoughts were spinning through Ginny's head. So if Blaise's mother was a death eater, how come he'd never told her?
You never asked Ginny reminded herself before she was faced with another problem. If Blaise's and Theo's mothers were both here, fighting for Voldemort, wouldn't it be difficult for them both to choose side? And what about Malfoy? He was known to be a death eater himself...
"I thought they were told to stop" Madison suddenly whispered and Tracey added, voice trembling:
"What do we do now?"
Ginny was surprised that she was even here, considering the previous state of her leg and the fact that she was still limping. Meanwhile, she was filled with a strange and almost... happy sensation as she took a look at the people surrounding her. These were all her and Blaise's friends. They were here together, fighting for the same thing and at the end of the day, they weren't so different at all.
She grabbed Blaise's hand again just as Neville said, voice surprisingly steady:
"We fight"
Blaise's point of view
Surprisingly enough, nobody seemed to have noticed that Blaise had gone completely stiff. He was still holding Ginny's hand, knowing it gave him a sense of security, but he felt like he couldn't move or speak. His mother was here, but she was simply here because of him. That his new "stepfather" was a death eater was common knowledge and Blaise felt sick as he thought of everything that had happened the last time they saw each other.
So this was what it'd be like from now on? If Potter didn't manage to defeat Voldemort, his mother would be forced to join him and become a death eater herself... And Blaise would only be able to stand by and watch...
Now, the group of death eaters had reached them and he could feel Ginny's grip around his hand tighten slightly. He suddenly felt furious when thinking that she had to experience this, after everything she'd already been through. The minute his mother's fiancée spotted him in the crowd of students he spoke up:
"I thought we'd find you here somewhere"
He spat on the ground and thereby reminded Blaise a lot of Amycus Carrow. Theo's mother explained, eyes on her son:
"The Dark Lord has asked us all to join him in the Forbidden Forest. We are here to make sure you come with us"
Blaise couldn't believe her and judging from the look on Theo's face he couldn't, either. He shook his head slowly, sounding perfectly calm when he said:
"I'm not going, mother"
Blaise admired Theo for his bravery; he still felt like he'd lost the ability to speak. Ginny, who seemed to have realized who the man who'd spoken up at first was, held his hand even tighter than before.
"Of course you're going" Blaise's mother's fiancée snorted loudly and sent them all a look full of hatred. "And I hope you're not stupid enough to think we'll give you a choice, Nott"
"You can't make anyone come with you"
It was Longbottom who spoke and Blaise couldn't for his life figure out why. Why would he care about whether Blaise, Theo and some of the other Slytherin students were forced to join the death eaters? What was it to him?
Theo's mother looked at Longbottom as if he were nothing but vermin.
"What did you just say?" she asked icily and Longbottom looked her right in the eye, repeating:
"I said you can't make..."
"I heard what you said" Blaise's mother's fiancée interrupted him and drew his wand really quick. "And you'll regret it"
In a heartbeat, another battle had started and spells were flying everywhere. Luckily, Blaise was able to move again and used all strength he had to protect the people that he cared about. None of them seemed to have been seriously injured so far, but it was only a matter of time...
From the corner of his eye he could see how one of the death eaters, one he didn't recognize, opened his mouth with his wand raised and pointed at Ginny...
"EXPELLIARMUS!" Blaise said, aiming his wand at the death eater.
At his word the wand flew out of the death eater's hand and Blaise reached out to grab it. However, his mother's fiancée reached him to it and gave him a slap on the cheek that caused Ginny to scream:
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP IT!"
But the death eater barely seemed to hear her. Instead, he pointed his own wand at Blaise the moment they were both back on their feet. He hissed:
"I am marrying your mother. Therefore, you should treat me with respect!"
At first, Blaise seemed to be at a loss for words. He just stared back at the wizard standing in front of him, shaking his head in disbelief. Then he said, voice perfectly calm and yet cold:
"You're a coward. You're weak. And you'll never have my respect"
From there, everything happened so fast. His mother's fiancée raised his wand, opened his mouth and screamed:
"AVADA KEDAVRA!"
There was green light. Ginny screamed again. And Blaise closed his eyes, knowing that he'd reached the end.
"NO!"
It was not until then he noticed that his mother had been standing only a few meters away this whole time. She'd been watching the whole scene, terrified to interfere. Until now.
Blaise had no time to react, no time to think, before she jumped in front of him. The green light hit her and she fell to the ground, lying completely still.
Ginny's point of view
Blaise and Ginny had never had much time to talk about his mother, or anyone in his family for that matter. She had never known Mrs Zabini and she'd never been sure of what kind of relationship she and Blaise shared. Still, the look on his face was enough to make Ginny break inside again.
But there was no time. No time to tell him that everything would be all right, that she'd do everything in her power to help him through what he'd just had to witness. There was no time for anything but trying to survive when you risked getting killed at any second.
"GINNY!"
It was Madison who called her name and a second later Ginny realized why. Most of the death eaters had retreated and it was not difficult to guess why. More people were coming out of the Forbidden Forest and walking up front was Voldemort himself. Ginny froze and grabbed Blaise's hand, trying her best not to shake as she saw how one of the death eaters waved her wand and Blaise's mother's body disappeared. Her fiancée was suddenly nowhere to be seen.
Didn't he care about the fact that he'd just killed the woman he was going to marry?
Ginny felt repulsed, sick and frightened. Still, she tried her best to focus on what was happening at this very moment. Voldemort and his supporters were getting closer...
"Blaise..." she said, swallowing as she gently pulled his arm. "Blaise, we have to get out of here..."
But he didn't move, eyes still on the spot where his mother's body had been only seconds ago. Ginny pulled his arm again, feeling the panic rise inside of her. She was terrified of what would happen if Voldemort got too close, what she'd have to witness...
Eventually, Ginny and Blaise reached the group of witches and wizards that were now standing just outside the entrance to the castle. They were all quiet, watching as Voldemort and the death eaters drew closer. Ginny caught a glimpse of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, accompanied by Bellatrix Lestrange and her husband...
"Are you okay?"
It was Neville who spoke to her, but Ginny couldn't bring herself to reply. Because none of this was okay, and he knew it. It was not until then that she realized what Neville was holding in his right hand. The sorting hat and Gryffindor's sword, the one they'd tried to steal months ago. It seemed like a lifetime had passed since then.
"Is that Hagrid?" Neville's voice was trembling as he eyed Voldemort and the others. "Who is he carrying?"
It all went so fast. Voldemort and the others stopped. Ginny saw who Hagrid, with a look of despair on his face, was holding in his arms and she knew. It was over. Bellatrix Lestrange looked as if she were having the time of her life when Voldemort called out:
"HARRY POTTER IS DEAD!"
"NO!"
Ginny was still clutching Blaise's arm hard, but let go as she started running forward with tears erupting in her eyes. When seeing Harry's lifeless body in Hagrid's arms she knew that she was doing this for him, for Fred and everybody else that they'd lost. However, she didn't reach very far before Blaise pulled her back. His grip around her wrist was firm and as she glanced up at his face she saw him looking at Voldemort with more hatred than she'd ever seen before.
"Silence!" Voldemort hissed, his snake-looking eyes sending shivers down Ginny's spine. "Stupid girl!"
Then, he laughed loudly and threw his head slightly backwards as he repeated:
"HARRY POTTER IS DEAD!"
The death eaters were all laughing with him and Ginny was holding Blaise's hand so hard she thought it might break. After only a couple of seconds Voldemort looked completely serious again, yet pleased, and called out:
"Now come and join us!"
This has to be a nightmare Ginny thought to herself. None of this is true. Harry is not dead, he can't be. Because that would mean that evil would rule forever, all prejudices would stay alive and she and Blaise would never get a proper chance of being together. She watched in silence how Lucius and Narcissa convinced Draco to join them and how the three of them left the scene.
Voldemort then turned to the crowd again and asked if anyone else was willing to switch sides. Ginny was thinking that there was no way in hell anyone would do that when, suddenly, Neville stepped forward and started limping towards Voldemort.
"No, Neville..." someone said, but in vain.
Neville wore a determined look on his face and didn't seem the slightest bothered when Voldemort said:
"Well... I must say I hoped for better"
The death eaters laughed again.
"What's your name, boy?"
"Neville Longbottom" Neville replied and Ginny felt like jumping at Bellatrix Lestrange when she saw the look of delight on her face.
She was the one who'd tortured Neville's parents into forgetting their own son. She was the reason Neville never had a chance to know them. Just like Teddy would never know Remus and Tonks...
"I'd like to say something" Neville suddenly said, interrupted Ginny's thoughts.
Voldemort gave him what looked like a twisted smile.
"Well... I'm sure we'd all be happy to hear what you have to say"
Ginny saw how Neville opened and closed his mouth several times, almost as if he were afraid of his own words. Then, he took a deep breath and looked Voldemort right in the eye as he said:
"It doesn't matter that Harry's dead"
The words alone shot pain through Ginny's entire body, but there was nothing she could do. She still felt strangely... numb about it all.
"Stand down, Neville" Seamus Finnigan started but Neville interrupted him:
"No, people die every day! Friends, family. Yeah... But he's still with us!"
At this, he turned towards Ginny and the others. It was obvious how much he wanted them all to believe in his words.
"And so is Fred, Remus, Tonks and everybody else that we've lost. They didn't die in vain!" Voldemort still wore a pleased look on his face and perhaps that's what caused Neville to raise his voice as he locked gazes with the evil wizard once more. "But you will! 'Cause you're wrong!"
Then, before Ginny knew it, Neville had drawn the sword of Gryffindor. At the very same moment, Harry suddenly started to move and jumped out of Hagrid's arms. As if on signal, most of the death eaters started to disapparate. Ginny would never forget the look of surprise and rage on Voldemort's face and Harry set off after him, shouting at his friends:
"KILL THE SNAKE!"
Together with most other students, parents and teachers Ginny and Blaise hurried inside the castle again. Neville was still carrying the sword, but he obviously had trouble walking and anyone could tell that he was in a lot of pain.
"There it is!" Blaise suddenly said, pointing at the giant snake that was crawling down the stairs and heading right towards them.
People started screaming, moving out of the way and Ginny grabbed the sword from Neville without thinking. She might be afraid, but she'd also had enough. Harry's awakening had given her new hope and she suddenly felt braver than she had in months.
"GINNY, LET ME DO THAT!" Ron exclaimed, eyes on the snake as it got even closer...
But Ginny just shook her head. She had to be the one doing this. In fact, she could feel it. This was her chance of proving to the Golden Trio, and everybody else that had ever doubted her, that she was strong enough to take care of herself. This was her moment, and she'd take it.
I can do this.
"I'll distract it!" Neville shouted and then nodded towards Blaise. "Zabini, help me out!"
Together, they both started throwing rocks at the snake and it didn't take long before Ron and Hermione came to help. For a split second, Ginny looked up and spotted both Harry and Voldemort on what appeared to be the third floor landing. There was a loud BANG and they were both falling...
"NOW!" Blaise screamed and the last thing Ginny saw before closing her eyes was the snake's face, so like Voldemort's...
She didn't think. She didn't hesitate. She just raised the sword, ready to finish it once and for all.
Author's note: I honestly don't know why it took me so long to get this chapter finished. I haven't had much time to write lately and this story has not exactly been one of my biggest priorities. Can't really decide what I think about this chapter. Anyway, it'd mean a lot to me if those who read it reviewed :)