Peter was more depressed than he'd ever been. Not that that was saying much, as Peter was almost never depressed. He wasn't wired for it. Nonetheless, he was feeling blue, and that was not normal for him. But he had a very good reason. Davy was avoiding him, and he knew damn well it wasn't his imagination.

What had he done? Nothing that he could remember. Ever since Davy had brought up being hung up on someone, he had been acting strangely, and spooking like a newborn fawn every time Peter entered a room.

Tonight Davy had a girl over. Nothing unusual about that, except Davy was being a touch-me-not with her, something that was so rare that none of the Monkees had ever witnessed it before.

Davy was making a gargantuan effort, that much he had to be credited with. He was trying so agonizingly hard to be affectionate with Paula. But it wasn't working. Oh, Paula was willing enough, and certainly beautiful enough; but Davy's heart wasn't in it, and neither was his libido. But libido aside, he couldn't even hold her hand, much less do anything else. He just plain didn't want to. His feelings were totally flat. And although he knew Peter would, as always, gladly let him have privacy in their bedroom, Davy had no desire to kiss her on the couch, let alone take her to the bedroom.

For the dozenth time, he attempted to lean over and kiss her lightly, in preparation for "warming her up," but he felt mildly repelled once again. Almost moderately repelled. She looked at him longingly with those big doe eyes of hers, fluttered her eyelashes, crossed and recrossed her legs (something that had captivated Davy last time they'd been together) and sighed delicately. But Davy was like stone, and there was no breaking him out of his indifference.

Davy finally suggested he take her home. He wanted to believe he was just feeling out of sorts, but if that were the case, why did Peter keep popping into his mind? Hell, he and Paula were on the couch and Peter was in the kitchen, not even conversing with them. Yet Davy found himself listening for Peter's low voice as the other three stood around bullshitting.

As Davy and Paula went out the door, Davy apologizing extensively to her for a bum evening and complaining of a stomachache, Peter and the others looked at each other knowingly. Davy didn't have a stomachache-they knew that for sure. He'd eaten dinner with gusto and no complaints, and had been in a different state of mind until he'd decided he should go get Paula.

Since when did Davy say he should date a girl, or bring one over? He'd always been so eager for female companionship that want would be the far more appropriate word. He'd said it like it was more of a duty than a pleasure. Almost as if it were an obligation. Totally un-Davy-like.

Micky shook his head. "Wassa matter with that boy?" he said in one of his silly voices.

"If I didn't know better, I'd almost think he's pining over something or someone," was Mike's input.

"Well, the other night he mentioned having feelings for someone but not knowing how to tell them. I thought maybe it was Paula, but now I don't think so. Ooops! Maybe he didn't want me to mention that to you guys," Peter stopped talking abruptly.

Micky shrugged his shoulders. "We won't say anything Pete, you know that. Maybe that explains his behavior though... maybe he was trying to 'make do' with Paula when its really some other girl he's got the hots for. You know how that goes-we've all been there."

"But why would David, of all people, settle for less than what he wants?" Mike was trying aloud to figure this puzzle out. "Most girls don't have to be encouraged to go out with Davy. If anything, they have to be held off. I wonder why he's having trouble with this one particular one?"

"I don't know, but I'll gladly take any leftovers," said Micky. "If he doesnt want Paula, I wouldn't kick her outta my bed."

They all chuckled. It was true. Davy never had trouble with females. The only kind of trouble he ever had was too many of them hanging around him and on him. He could hardly walk out the door without some girl hitting on him while he was on the beach, or, really, anywhere he went. He was a virtual girl magnet. It seemed that when he was out and about, he unintentionally set off some kind of silent mating call. So this mystery girl was exactly that... a mystery.

Peter loved a mystery, and he intended to solve this one. When Davy got home and headed up the stairs, Peter was on his tail like a bloodhound. Peter squeezed himself through the door much like a cat right behind Davy before Davy could close it. That earned Peter a murderous glare.

"Why are you a grump?"

Normally Davy would have smiled, but his mood had deteriorated even further than before he'd taken Paula home.

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. You've been pissy ever since you told me there's a girl you're hung up on. She must be outta site to have this effect on you. Why in hell don't you just talk to her? You know how to do it. If anyone does, its you."

"Don't start this again, Pete. Get your ass outta here for a while so I can be alone." Davy practically shoved him out the door, closing it firmly behind him.

Peter was no longer hurt-he was angry. It took a lot to get Peter's hackles up, but this was a big deal. Davy had always talked things over with him, took his input to heart, and let him in on just about everything important that was happening in his life. It was so out of character for Davy to shut him out that the more Peter thought about it, the more indignant he got.

Just as Peter was deciding to barge back into the bedroom, Davy opened the door and physically pulled Peter back in by the shirt collar. Peter, taken aback for an instant, was immediately relieved to see that Davy was, after all, apparently going to discuss it with him.

"How...do I tell this... person how I feel, Pete?" Agitated is how Peter would have described Davy, who was busy chewing at his lower lip, fiddling nervously with his love beads.

"Like I said before, do what you've always done. Start talking, and go from there. You're a ladies' man. I've seen you do it at least a hundred times."

"But this time its different."

"In what way?"

"I talk to this person a lot already... so that won't make any difference. I have to... tell this person."

Peter wasn't sure he was clear on what Davy was saying. "So talking isn't helping?"

"No."

"I've never seen it fail yet."

"Well, it has this time."

This was a puzzler alright. The girl wasn't responding? How could that be possible? What was wrong with her? Was she blind? Couldn't she see what all the other girls saw? How sincere, charming, considerate, generous, gentle and romantic Davy was? Not to mention what caught all the girls' attention in the first place-his looks. Was she crazy or something? Peter couldn't figure it out.

"Maybe you're not her type?" Although Peter couldn't imagine that.

"That could very well be it." Davy was being as honest as he could with Peter, without tellling him the truth right out. Peter would never understand Davy's feelings. So he knew he couldn't tell him. Peter would have a cow if he knew he were the object of Davy's affections. So telling him just wasn't an option. That, in turn, took him right back to where he'd started-with his hands tied.

"Oh, forget it." Davy climbed into bed.

"You're not gonna run and hide from this anymore!" Peter's voice raised slightly. "Hell, I'll help you win this girl over! I can't stand seeing you this way."

Davy laughed-it just came out without his permission. Peter was just too damn benevolent.

"How are you gonna help, Pete?"

"I don't know, but I'll think of something."

"Okay, you sleep on it. I think that's what I'm gonna do right now." Davy's head disappeared under his covers, effectively shutting Peter out... for now. Peter wasn't about to let things stay that way though.

Was Davy losing all interest in girls? Even thinking about it threw him into despair. He was young, not even married yet! But the way he'd reacted to Paula-or rather, not reacted to Paula told him something was really, seriously wrong. He couldn't remember one single time in the last eight years, when girls had first sparked an interest in him, that he'd felt anything close to this. This indifference.

For someone who was used to falling in love on a frequent basis, this was more than unsettling. It was devastating. What was even more worrisome though, was that every time he saw Peter or dared to think about him, his gut clenched tight with desire. Was he becoming a deviant?

Davy made a decision. It was one or the other-he had to find out, or cross over into insanity. All his waking hours were filled with torment. He had to find out why he had no feelings for girls, and... the other part was so hard to even think about, but he had to explore why he was feeling attracted to Peter.

After they went to bed the next night, Davy's heart was pounding like a galloping horse's hooves on asphalt. His throat felt tight, like he couldn't draw a complete breath. His scalp even felt tight and sore. The back of his neck ached. The glass of water he'd brought upstairs and sipped on wasn't helping his parched mouth at all.

He and Peter sat on their respective beds in their pajamas, and Davy suddenly spewed out his thoughts before he had a chance to chicken out.

"Paula didn't make me feel a thing last night."

"She didn't? What do you mean exactly?"

"Pete, she didn't turn me on! I didn't even want to kiss her!" Davy's face had turned pale and that never happened. Red flags were flying. Peter was more than a little worried.

"Are you sick?" He wasn't being sarcastic, he was genuinely concerned about Davy. Davy would have to be sick to not desire a girl! Maybe Davy felt this way because he was coming down with a virus...

"No...I feel fine. I just have no desire."

"What about another girl? Maybe its just Paula who doesn't turn you on. What about the one you said you can't talk to about your feelings? She's probably the reason you don't desire Paula."

Oh, if Peter only knew... Davy tilted his head in thought. "You know... you might have something there. Maybe its just Paula!"

For a moment, Davy was hopeful. Another girl might be just the ticket. But then... Davy couldn't tell Peter about the most disturbing part of this whole thing. That Peter was turning him on. And he didn't even have to be sitting next to him like he did with girls. All he had to do was think about Peter. The most shocking part of it though was that he could even picture kissing Peter!

Oh damn! There... he'd done it. Allowed himself to think about it openly. It was true-he was flabbergasted. He would have no trouble at all kissing Peter. Thinking of doing something, and actually doing it were two different things, and he realized that. But the difference with Peter was, the thought of kissing him excited Davy. The thought of kissing a girl didn't. There- he'd finally admitted it to himself. Now he found himself craving it. What would it be like? Why in the world would kissing a man be more appealing to him than kissing a woman?

"Can I tell you something... confidentially?" Davy knew he was sticking his neck out, but he had to test the waters-get Peter's reaction. Something had to be done about this. And he had to do it while he still had the courage.

"Sure." Peter sounded so innocent. Little did he know what he was in for...

"I am attracted to someone, like I told you. But I didn't... tell you the whole truth."

"I know you're attracted to someone. Obviously its not Paula though. So... who is it?"

"Its not a girl," There, he'd said it out loud. Barely above a whisper, but he'd said it.

If only Davy could have somehow recorded Peter's expression. Dumbfounded was the term that came to mind first. Peter had that bewildered, disbelieving look he got at any really shocking news. His jaw even dropped a bit. Davy had the urge to close Peter's mouth with his hand, like Mike had done on occasion. Davy had only seen that expression on Peter a couple of times before. That's how rare it was.

Davy waited for Peter to regain his composure. He had doubts Peter would be able to regain it. A bit of time went by- Davy couldn't be sure how much time because of the blood swooshing loudly in his ears. Time was irrelevant right now. He felt remorse as he watched Peter briefly hold his head in his hands. Should he have blurted it out like that? Peter's reaction would make all the difference with Davy's decision on whether he should totally spill the beans or not.

"Not a girl?" Peter's voice, now recovered, sounded raspy, rough, grating. He started to cough, and Davy offered him a drink of his water. Then he very nearly spit the water all over Davy. As it was, some landed on the carpet between their beds. Davy reached down and dabbed it up with a tissue from the box on the nightstand.

Peter attempted to talk again. "What do you mean, not a girl?" His voice now sounded practically strangled.

"Well, Pete. There are only two genders." Davy tried to smile but it came out looking more like a painful grimace.

"You're interested in a guy?" Peter started to laugh then. It sounded almost hysterical, on the edge of panic. The unusual tone was how Davy knew Peter wasn't laughing at him. Peter was frightened. And, like some people do when nervous or uncomfortable, he laughed-not knowing what else to do. But a very unnatural laugh, it was. And wouldn't he himself be frightened to death if Peter had confided something similar to him? Of course he would! He'd be freaking out.

"My God! Who is it?" Peter was starting to sound desperately upset. Davy understood why. Peter cared a lot about his friend, and didn't want Davy to suffer from an affliction like this.

"I can't tell you, Peter...I'm just not ready. But please... don't tell anyone."

"You know you don't even... have to ask that."

It was true. Davy knew he could trust Peter with his secret.

It was a numb Peter who got into bed a little while later. Davy almost felt sorry for him. He looked so confused. And why shouldn't he? Davy, all of a sudden was someone Peter didn't even know anymore.

By the next weekend, Davy decided to invite another girl over to the pad. He was determined to get some answers. Might as well give it one last mighty try. If Paula didn't do it for him, maybe Audrey would. If anyone could do it, it would be Audrey. Audrey had always turned him on. Davy already strongly suspected it wouldn't make any difference, as he wasn't gawking at girls on the beach anymore like he used to, but he had to at least try.

His whole world seemed to be changing, as Peter continued to invade his thoughts when he least expected it. He concentrated on not staring at Peter when Peter bent over in those tight gray band pants, or when Peter got dressed in the morning. That naked chest was almost too much for Davy to bear. Even watching Peter shave was disturbingly exciting.

Sitting and talking music in the evening like they did before bed, Davy had to catch his eyes before they gravitated over to Peter's face. He'd look at him briefly because he had to-otherwise Peter would get suspicious. But he didn't let his eyes dwell on things like Peter's dimple, his puppy-dog eyes, his sexy mole, or his lustrous hair. Sometimes just Peter's voice alone was enough to make Davy draw in a sharp breath.

On occasion, the guys liked to tickle Davy. They knew how ticklish he was, and took advantage of it. A few hours before Davy was going to bring Audrey over, Micky and Mike tackled him on the living room floor. Davy was fun to tickle, and a challenge, as he put up a good fight. He was very strong for his size, so it took both Micky and Mike to hold him down to accomplish it.

Peter didn't join in this time. He stood by the sidelines, watching and feeling quite a bit of empathy for Davy. "Hey guys, let him up! That's enough!" he said. But the others continued with their torture. Two against one, and they were both bigger than Davy.

Peter liked tickling Davy too, but he didn't like the "ganging up" part. He didn't feel it was fair, even though Davy was a good sport about it, and really did sometimes deserve it, as he could be quite a cocky little thing. Sassy, that's what Davy was. But in a charming way. Right now though, he didn't deserve this nonstop tickling, Peter knew that much. He was already on edge about Audrey coming over.

Peter, being a couple inches shorter than either Micky or Mike, nevertheless had a bit more bulk on him than they did. Next to Davy, he was the most athletic one. So he first pulled Micky off, then tackled Mike. He deterred them just long enough to allow Davy time to sprint up the stairs.

"Aw, Pete! Why'd ya ruin our fun?" Micky pouted. "David needs to be given a hard time now and then."

"Two against one isn't fair. I tickle him lightly, and don't keep it up forever," was Peter's answer. "You guys get carried away."

Peter went up to the bedroom. The door was locked. Peter knocked.

"Let me in, David. Its not a trap; its just me."

Davy immediately opened the door, let Peter in, then locked it quickly behind him.

"Thanks for helping me out, Pete."

"No problem. You'd do the same for me."

Davy nodded.

"They like picking on you 'cause you're a pain in the ass."

"I know. I guess everyone gets what's coming to them, you know?" Peter smiled at Davy's English way of expressing himself. It seemed to cling-at least most of it, even after the seven years since he'd left England. Peter guessed Davy was one of those who would retain his English accent for life.

"So, you looking forward to bringing Audrey over tonight?"

"Yeah, sort of. I sure hope I can get the feeling back, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah." Peter hadn't mentioned Davy's confession since the night they'd talked about it. He figured Davy would bring it up when he was ready.

Things didn't go well with Audrey. In fact, things went exactly as they had gone with Paula. It wasn't that Davy didn't try. He tried hard as hell. He even kissed her-but there was nothing there. Absolutely nothing.

When Peter spied them kissing on the couch, his heart swelled with happiness for Davy. He felt like jumping up and down for joy, but resisted the urge. It seemed that Audrey was what Davy had needed to kick his libido for girls into high gear again. But the feeling didn't last long. Peter started sensing negative vibrations soon after. He knew Davy damn well, and he knew that even though Davy was kissing her, he was forcing himself. Peter was aware, without being told, that Davy just wasn't into it... and his heart ached for his friend.