Warning: this chapter is a bit intense. Don't worry this is not an M fic or alternatively I guess be disappointed this is not an M fic. [Insert suggestive wink here] As always I love reviews! Enjoy :D

Tuesday, 18 September 1888

Clara woke in an unfamiliar room. It took her a moment to remember the previous day's events. She was on the TARDIS, the Doctor took her there after the Haneish tried to kill her. Clara shivered remembering the thing's emotionless voice. He wanted her because he believed the Doctor was working with Vastra and Jenny. Vastra as it turned out was the famous Veiled Detective. Clara couldn't believe she'd actually met the Veiled Detective and her partner.

She became aware of a nudging at the back of her mind, while the air in the room seemed to swirl around her. It compelled her to get out of bed. Following the air currents, still in her cotton nightgown, Clara wandered down the endless corridors. Hopefully she would be able to find her way back. The air and the mental nudging led her to a door which swung open on its own.

Clara paused before looking in. "Are you alive?" she asked the ship. The engines hummed. Clara took that as a yes. A living machine, things just kept getting stranger. "Do you want me to go in there?"

Again the engines hummed their affirmative. Clara nodded then walked inside the room. It was a bedroom, the Doctor's bedroom. Clara would have felt embarrassed, but she realized the man was in the throes of a nightmare. She ran to his side. This TARDIS obviously wanted her to wake him up.

"Doctor!" Clara cried, shaking him slightly. It did nothing, he continued to thrash wildly. He cried out, whatever he was seeing terrified him. Clara placed her hands on his temples just as she did when Alice had nightmares. Speaking softly, "Doctor you need to wake up. It's just a dream."

Suddenly Clara felt herself falling forward, except her body remained frozen. It was like her mind was falling into his.

Screaming, everywhere was screaming. Clara opened her eyes to a world on fire. The orange sky filled with thousands of warships and creatures of metal. Running with her, from a city encased in glass, was a family. His family. Wife, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren. They all ran carrying those too young to. The TARDIS was ahead of them, they were going to make it. A burning metal ship fell screaming from the sky. She turned back to see their terrified faces one last time as the crashing ship took them away forever. She ran as the world around her was destroyed.

The scene shifted, changing so fast Clara could hardly register what she was seeing. All she could feel was loneliness and pain so powerful she thought it would crush the air from her lungs. Friends, companions, everyone was ripped away.

A blonde girl vanished into a white light, a dark-skinned woman cried. Monsters of every kind surrounded her, reaching out of the darkness. A woman begged for her mind, a couple fell from a building.

Everything slowed again to the point where each second was a beat of her heart. A beautiful woman with curly hair. His wife. Smiling she walked through an empty library only to be consumed by shadows. And suddenly Clara was staring at herself. She was in the park again, now blanked by snow. Unable to scream she watched horrified as the throat of her other self was slashed. Blood pooled, staining the white snow crimson as she died before her own eyes.

Clara was jerked backwards into the darkness. She found herself sitting on the bed with the Doctor's arms wrapped around her.

"You're alive. You're alive." he kept repeating. She could feel him shaking, it was only then Clara realized she was sobbing into his shoulder. Clara pulled back, which only caused him to hold onto her tighter.

Clara tried to control her crying. She'd never felt so alone, so scared then she had in the Doctor's mind. In his memories. Slowly he pulled back so that he could see Clara's face, as if to reassure himself that she was real. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Then he seized Clara crushing his lips to hers in desperation. She responded with equal intensity. She needed to remind herself she was alive; she needed to remind him she was alive.

Clara moaned softly as the Doctor's lips left hers and began trailing kisses down her neck. She wrapped her fingers in his hair tightly. His hands burned her skin through the thin cotton nightgown as they ran across her body.

"We need to stop." he whispered against her collarbone, not sounding at all willing. With a sigh the Doctor rested his forehead against Clara's. They both were out of breath, fighting to get their emotions under control.

"Your family. Your whole planet, they're all gone." Clara said trying not to start crying again. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She didn't know what else to do. How could she fill that kind of void, how could anyone?

The Doctor kissed her again softly, and then stood up lifting her with him. She wrapped her arms around his neck resting her head against his chest. The Doctor carried her bridal style out of the room and down the hall. Clara didn't know where they were going, but she was content as long as he was touching her. She was too emotionally shaken to lose contact. It seemed he was too. Clara could still hear the screaming in her ears.

The Doctor sat her down in a chair at the kitchen table. Keeping hold of one of her hands he put on the kettle. He didn't talk just smiled at her occasionally while he worked. The Doctor seemed a little lost.

Sitting there watching him make tea Clara came to a sudden realization. It was rather like being struck by lightning. She loved him. She was in love with him. Inexplicably, completely, and irrationally, Clara loved him.

The Doctor set the cups on the table and pulled Clara into his lap. She snuggled against him trying to figure out where to even start the conversation.

"It was called Gallifrey," the Doctor said suddenly, "My planet. The home of the Time Lords, the most highly evolved species in history, until we went to war with a race called the Daleks."

And so the Doctor told her his life's story more than he'd ever told anyone before. He told her about his misadventures with UNIT, about Tegan, Ace, Rose, Sarah Jane, everyone. The Doctor talked himself hoarse.

"After I lost Amy and Rory I fell apart, but I had River. She helped me through even though I knew I would lose her too. I knew one day she would go to The Library. River would give her life to save mine before I even knew who she was, because it already happened." He drifted into silence.

Clara kissed his fingers gently. "You came here after she died?"

"Yes," the Doctor whispered, "I gave up. That was nearly 23 years ago now."

She turned to face him, staring into his timeless eyes. "How old are you?"

"1,149." the Doctor said. Cupping her cheek in his palm he gave Clara a look which made her feel light-headed. "I lost the will to live. I didn't see the point in anything anymore. The beauty of the universe was gone, until I met you."

The Doctor captured her mouth with his in a searing kiss. "You brought me back to life. I can't lose you too." he said fiercely.

"You won't. I'm not going anywhere."

Clara meant it more than she'd ever meant anything in her life. She was going to put this broken man back together, he wouldn't be alone anymore. She snuggled back down into his embrace letting him cradle her. Clara felt safe with the Doctor's arms around her.

"What will you do now?" she asked.

In a voice that sent shivers down her spine he said, "Now I join Vastra in her hunt."