Times Of Change Chapter 9: Cold and Cruel, a twilight fanfic

Thank you so much for all the feedback I loved it! I was sick yesterday, when I was probably goning to write this, so it's a little late, sorry. Love you all and Thanks to:

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Erin's POV

Day 11 of total and complete isolation sucked just like all the others before it. It all just sucked. But day 11 was so much different, not that I knew that right away.

I was scrubbing dishes, glumly. Jake and Billy were watching a game and a part of me reveled in how normal it was for them to do something like that. The other, more prominent, part of me was screaming 'fuck them all!' My other part is quite a bitch these days.

While I scrubbed I thought back to the last week and a half, spent mostly in my room with the door locked and my music up way too loud. I tried to focus on my one place to breath: school. The only place these days where I could see Seth.

Every since the party, things had just been different around that boy. Like my heart beat faster when he was around and he was suddenly funnier than ever before. Half of me, the non-bitch side, even ventured as far and to sorta wish that the cult had cut the party short a minute or so later. My thoughts flickered, rebelliously, to Seth's breath on my lips. For probably the first time in my life, I was curious about Seth Clearwater. It wasn't exactly an emotion I normally associated with my best friend since birth.

I mean if I knew anything, it was Seth. His favorite color was blue. He loved cliff diving and reading nonfiction, especially history because that was his favorite subject. The most important thing to him was family and he was incredibly loyal to them. He laughed at anything remotely funny and when he did laugh he threw his head back and closed his eyes. He can always read my mind, even when no one else seemed to understand me. He was as familiar to me as breathing!

But here I was, curious. Why did our hands seem to fit just right that night on the beach? What was that look he gave me sometimes when he thought I wasn't watching? What did his hair feel like when you ran your fingers through it? And what would his lips feel like against mine? What would he taste like? All these dumb little questions floating around in my head were a waste of time. Questions I'd never have answer to, by the way, I didn't want answers to.

I mean, kissing Seth would be like kissing Jacob.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that, sweetie. A small voice whispered in the back of my mind.

I finished the last dish and drained the sink, before going back to my room, not even acknowledging Jake and Billy. My room was safe, normal. Looking around it, it would seem like nothing had changed even though everything had. It was just an illusion of normalcy.

There was a picture of my Aunt Sarah and me framed and hanging above my bed. She had her arms wrapped around me, planting a kiss on my chubby, baby fat cheek. It had been my fourth birthday and I couldn't stop giggling. Rachel and Rebecca had her wavy black hair. Taped to the frame, hanging down was a picture of Billy, grinning ear to ear, and a picture of my mother, Emmie Black, the brown hair I'd inherited was tucked behind her ears with her brown eyes looking down, a small smile on her face. Sarah had taped those in place when I was little, to 'remind me where I came from'.

Stuck in the cracks of my mirror were tons of pictures of me and the people who had shaped me. Jake's 8th grade school picture, Embry's 12th birthday party, me on Quil's back, me and Seth playing ring around the rosy when we were 5, Rachel and Rebecca's graduation, Bella Swan and her father with Billy, Rachel, Rebecca, and I, Sue hugging me on my 14th birthday, Harry ruffling my hair, Leah laughing and pushing the camera away. So many memories that now felt so distant.

I sighed, shaking my head, and went to my desk to start homework. I heard a wolf howl from a distance and glanced out of the window before returning to work. The front door slammed a couple times but I ignored it, pretty used to the cult's comings and goings. I was halfway through math, wishing I could call Seth for help when Billy called to me from the living room.

Getting up, I walked out, closing my door behind me. Entering the living room, I stopped dead in my tracks, frozen. Paul, Jared, Embry, Quil and Jake all stood around, looking conflicted and sad, seemingly avoiding eye contact with me. Billy, however, looked utterly crushed and completely devastated. His eyes were red and tears were running down his face. I'd only ever seen Billy cry once before, when Aunt Sarah died.

Any coldness I'd developed towards any of them vanished for a second, replaced by worry. "Uncle Billy?" I asked, stepping forward.

He cleared his throat and wiped his face. "Erin."

He reached out his hand and I took it, crouching to his level. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"It's Harry." His voice shook while he clutched my hand. My heart sank, oh god, don't say it. "He had a heart attack. He's dead." His voice broke.

I gasped, getting up and pulling my hand away, backing away. My mind went completely blank for a second before one thought hit me like a bus.

"Seth." I whispered it so softly, I didn't think anyone could have heard me, yet all five teenager's heads snapped to look at me. My best friend's father was dead? I had to go to him, be with him. It wasn't a question; it was something I just had to do, I had to go to Seth. I went to grab my coat, but before I could barely move, Jacob was in front of me.

"Erin, no. Seth needs to focus on what is important right now. He's got Leah and his mom, he'll be fine. You'll see him eventually." Jacob comforted me. I reluctantly nodded, shakily breathing faster and faster. And then Jacob's arms wrapped around me, warm and still familiar to me in a suddenly cold and cruel world.

One Day.