This is supposed to be a silly chapter because i warn you now the next one is tragedy... horrible horrible tragedy... forgive me.

"What happened when dad went into labor?" Michelle asked sitting across from her father on the couch. Her father's face; wrinkled with the signs of age, scrunched up into a wide smile, his favorite topic having been broached by his curly haired daughter.

"Why do you want to know, Steve's girl picking on you still, you're a teenager and you can do whatever you want-" He started but she quickly cut him off. Years of her dad doing the same having rubbed off on her she learned early on it was for the best, especially when it came to his teenage freedom speech.

"Woah Pops calm down, me and Pegs are dating remember, no need to go bother Cap about his kid." She had been mortified the day he had walked in on her and Peggy kissing. His only words had been an over dramatic "Really Mick, Caps girl… how could you do this to me?" before her dad had come up behind him and dragged him away.

"Yeah yeah, I'm just givin you shit."

"Tony I heard that, she's only sixteen you still aren't allowed to swear!" Bruce called from the other room. Tony and Michelle laugh together for a moment before she becomes serious again.

"So… dads labor…"

"What, oh, yeah… well let's see…"

XxXxX

If Tony had a choice on the perfect time and place for Bruce to go into labor this would not be it. Unfortunately the world hates Tony Stark, it must, because Bruce is trapped in the mansion while swarms of giant spiders invade it; so many spiders in fact that you could hardly see the building itself.

"Clint do you see him?!" Tony's voice panicked and sharp crackled over the com.

"Negative, we got the call that he was in labor-"

"HE'S IN LABOR?!" Tony cut him off. No one had contacted him with this information. Now he was flying through the air at top speed on his way toward the mansion from the tower.

"Calm down Stark Thor's on his way to help."

"Bruce is in labor Cap how can you be so fucking calm!?"

"I'm sure Bruce can handle it."

"He is a physicist not a-"

"Hey what if one of these spiders is radioactive, if it bites the baby and the baby gets super powers… can we call the baby black widow too?" Natasha's voice cut through. She'd been in the mansion when the spiders where unleashed by a strange enemy hell bent on capturing a pregnant Bruce. She had grabbed Bruce and locked them both away in one of the many safe rooms hidden throughout the building.

"That's really not funny, but man I never thought I'd be so glad to hear your creepy monotone voice." Tony turned sharply as the mansion came into view. It was positively crawling with Spiders. It made him a little nervous knowing Bruce was trapped under all of them.

"Tasha, how's Bruce?" Clint asked.

"Bruce is fine, scared but fine."

"The baby?"

"We're going to need a real doctor soon." Is all she says.

"Oh god, are you serious!?" Clint says as he watches a large wasp fly onto the scene. A man rode on its back. He wore a large red cape and a helmet that looked to have the antenna from a moth attached to it.

"Please tell me that is not the man that sent the bugs, please tell me he did not just show up here of all places." Tony seethes turning his attention to the man laughing manically on the bug.

"Yeah I think it him, he seems to be saying something, can any of you make it out?" Steve asks as he fights his way through the spiders trying to get to the door… or even a window… hell if he could make it to a wall he would just bust through it.

"I do believe he's saying something about old loves and shared pasts." Thor says helpfully as he smashes a spider, its neon green and orange blood and innards splattering all over the spiders next to it and unfortunately Steve who had been watching Thor's back having given up making to a wall.

"Soooo… what? Is he an ex of Bruce's?" Clint asks taking out three spiders about to swarm Steve again splattering guts onto poor Steve, this time catching him in the mouth as he had been about to speak.

"An Ex?" Tony mutters to himself as he gets closer to the man to hear what he's saying. Also secretly hoping the outside security cams were still running, because this would be a wonderful day if he caught a video of Cap eating spider guts and the look of shear horror as the taste hit him.

"- My love for you shall always burn brighter than the sun, I will always feel the bright burning gaze of your brown eyes upon me! Look as I come to take you away from the mad man that has impregnated you!-" The man was cut off as Tony fired a repulsor blast into his face. "WHO DARES ATTACK ME?!" The man screamed.

"Yeah that would be me, your kinda trying to hit on my boyfriend… oh and also your standing on the grass and the sign clearly says stay off." Tony snapped as he fired a few rockets at the man.

XxXOoOXxX

"Wait wait wait… I was almost stolen by a guy that had some old school girl crush on dad?" Michelle asked horrified.

"Yeah… pretty much… man that was the best day ever… Steve's horrified face will always be burned into my memory-… not that your birth wasn't amazing or special!" Tony laughed looking over at Bruce fondly as Bruce scowled at him.

"When did you date him?" She asked curiously.

"Yeah… I dated him in collage once… only for a week but he got really creepy." Bruce said embarrassed.

"Did he have the bug thing then?" She asked, because seriously… Ew.

"… Kinda, yeah."

"You dated that." she said disgusted.

"He hadn't met me yet darling." Tony said with a lewd grin and Bruce elbowed him. That soon escalated into kissing.

"Yeah… im outty old man." She muttered escaping the room as the two men ignored her in favor of flirting with each other.