4. Memories
I was alone with Ophie again who were asleep in the other room. I was reading 'Less than Zero', but I wasn't focusing on the book. The room felt strangely cold. It was like I could feel the wind, though no window was open. I felt goose bumps on my skin, and then I heard footsteps. They were coming closer and closer. I grabbed a perfume by my nightstand, which I would use in the persons eyes. Hopefully then the person wouldn't be able to see anything and I could escape. But I was too slow and as the person entered the doorframe. I jumped and made out a scream.
"Wow if people can make you scream that loud by entering your room during the day, then I wouldn't want to meet you during the night." He said giving me a smile.
"SAM!" I yelled and ran in to his arms. "My dear Sam."
Sam had come. We had been best friends since we were little. We had grown up together. We used to be inseparable. Our moms were best friends too, but I hadn't seen him since we had moved, which were now around a year and a half ago. There was only a month between us. He was the oldest though. I know now you're thinking Sam, like in my brother Sam. But as I said our moms were best friends. And Sam's mom really liked the name Samuel and so she decided to name him after our brother. So they were both Samuel, which of course I shortened to Sam. Which were actually really confusing. But yeah they were all just bad with those stupid names. So I had 2 Sam's in my life while growing up. Both of them who were like brothers to me.
"What are you doing here?" I asked looking in to his blue beautiful eyes, which I'd miss like crazy. And no we had never been together it wasn't like that between us. We were each other's first kiss though. But we had always just been friends.
"I wanted to see my best friend. How is she doing?"
"I've been better." I told him faking a smile.
"You still thinking about Sam?" he asked. He knew what had happened. He knew everything, he even knew about Ophie. He was the only one of my friends that knew, but I liked it that way. He was the only person who I knew would never look at me differently and who understood me better than anyone else.
I nodded and gave him a smile. "I really missed you."
"I missed you too. It's not the same without you. Without any of you." He got eyes on my hand. "By the way why are you holding a perfume in your hand?"
I laughed. "I thought you were someone who wanted to kill me."
He laughed. "So you were gonna defend yourself with a perfume? You sure haven't gotten any smarter than the last time I saw you."
I hit his arm. "I hate you."
"And I love you, you silly stupid girl." he said with a laugh. "If you get that scared when someone enter the house. Then maybe you should lock the door when you're home alone."
"I'm not alone Ophie's here. And I didn't think some stupid jerk would just enter the house without permission." I stuck out my tongue at him.
"Oh so you think being with a baby is gonna help you if some psycho comes, and you wasn't answering the door. I knocked and rang the doorbell."
"Sorry. Anyway I'm just glad you're here." I hugged him tighter.
"I missed you so much." he said and lifted me.
I heard crying from the other room. "I guess Ophie's awake."
His face lightened up and I got to her room with Sam following me.
"Wow she's beautiful Jake really did a great job."
"Would you like to hold her?" I asked him, but without getting an answer I had already handed her to him.
"She's so tiny.," he said with a big smile.
I got tears in my eyes and I wasn't even sure why.
"Hey, hey don't cry what's wrong?" I could hear he was getting concerned.
"I'm just really glad you're here. I really missed you."
He walked over and wiped away my tears with his left palm. "You look way more beautiful when you smile. And I missed you as well."
We both walked downstairs and I warmed up some food for Ophie.
I looked at Sam eyes frozen.
"A penny for your thoughts Montez."
I got out of my haze. "Do you think people would look at me differently if they knew what I had done."
He shook his head. "I wouldn't." He said with a smile, which I replied.
"I know I can always count on you. But you know it's my fault Sam's dead."
"Bella you know that's not true."
"I was the one driving Sam. If I hadn't Sam would still be alive. And Lena wouldn't have nightmares constantly."
"Baby…" he grabbed my hand and looked in to my eyes. "You might have been the one driving. But you weren't the one who pulled the trigger. "
"If he hadn't pulled the trigger. I would have been dead, you know that."
"I know but it was what he wanted. He wanted you to live. He wanted you not him. And I know you miss him, but you can't keep blaming yourself. It's been too long. Your life isn't meant for grieving over the past. Sam wouldn't want that and neither do I. You're too great to miss out on life."
"You never really answered my question."
"You didn't do anything wrong. So no I don't think people would treat you differently. But hey you got me what else do you need." He smiled. I had missed him more than I knew. It felt so relaxing for him to be here.
"You know what. As long as you're here I promise I won't think about it anymore."
"That's my girl."
The door opened and in came Lena. Who screamed even louder than I had done earlier.
"My ears." Sam said and gave me a 'help' look.
"SAM." she yelled and ran in to his arms. "OMG I can't believe you're really here. What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see how you guys are doing. It's really good to see you Sel."
"You too." She told him and smiled even wider. She shook her head in amazement. "You're really here."
He nodded and smiled at her. "Yes I am."
Ophie began to cry. So I changed her diaper, gave her something to drink, some more food, tried to play with her but nothing seemed to work. Then Sam began singing and Ophie's eyes got wide open.
" Looking out across the night-time
The city winks a sleepless eye
Hear her voice shake my window
Sweet seducing sighs " He sang with the biggest smile on his face and Ophie stopped crying. I handed Ophie to Lena and walked over to Sam.
I continued singing:
" Get me out into the night-time
Four walls won't hold me tonight
If this town is just an apple
Then let me take a bite "
I smiled at him and we both continued the song.
"If they say, why, why?
Tell 'em that is human nature
Why, why does he do me that way?
If they say, why, why?
Tell 'em that is human nature
Why, why does he do me that way?"
We had just finished the song when our mom entered the house. She was in her own thoughts as always. You would know that because she would be looking down, back held forward.
"Mom. Mom." Lena yelled.
"Oh that reminds me Lena you need to park your car in the driveway instead of on the street."
"Mom dad didn't get me my car yet." Lena said with a laugh.
"But then.." And then she stopped herself as she looked in to Sam's eyes.
"I know those eyes." She spoke and tears filled her eyes. She walked over and wrapped her arms around him faster than I could say 'mom'. "My baby." she said as she looked at him.
"Hi Mami." Sam spoke and gave her a smile.
Now you're thinking Mami? But Sam was a part of this family. He was our brother and son. As well as we were part of his family. It was like I had been growing up with two set of parents, even though my parents weren't divorced.
She kissed him all over the face. "My sweet baby. You have come back to me." She almost cried.
"Mom relax you are going to choke him." Lena told her.
Sam wrapped his muscular arms around her and tried to calm her down. He knew he had been missed, but it was also because she was thinking about what she had lost.
"Group hug." I almost yelled and Lena with Ophie in her arms and I walked over and wrapped our arms around them.
"Mom don't cry." I told her and Sam wiped away her tears.
"You have grown." she told him and took a better look at him. She stroke his blond hair with her right hand and looked in to his eyes again. "Don't leave me again." she said giving him a slight smile.
"I'll try not to." he told her with a smile.
"You've been missed. You know what I'll make your favorite dish tonight. How does that sound?" she asked as she squeezed his hand before letting him go.
"It sounds amazing. But you really don't have to."
"Anything for you." She told him and gave him another smile.
Sam and I were goofing around with Ophie when Troy and Jake walked in. Troy's eyes immediately turned to us and he froze. I knew what he was thinking and it wasn't like that at all. And hey we weren't doing anything wrong.
Sam walked over to hug Jake. "Hey man I haven't seen you since…" Jake said and Sam cut him off.
"I know." Sam said and mumbled I'm sorry to him.
"Hi I'm Sam." Sam said and stoke out his hand.
"Troy." I heard him say in almost a whisper.
"I swear he's the best with her." I told Jake and smiled at Sam, which I had regretted as soon as it happened.
Sam smiled. "I don't blame her. I mean the two of us make a pretty good team." Sam told me which made me smile even bigger. But that was it. Troy stormed out.
"Did I say something wrong?" Sam asked confused.
"Boyfriend." Jake told Sam and pointed at the door.
Sam hit me. "Why didn't you tell me?"
I stood up and went for the door. "What difference does it make? Besides we didn't do anything wrong."
"Well he sure thinks so." Jake said with a laugh.
"Shut up." I told Jake and went outside. This was definitely not going to be the most pleasant conversation for me.
"TROY!" I yelled but he was already in his car. "TROY!" I yelled again. But he drove off before I could explain anything. I felt tears forming in my eyes. This was the last thing I wanted. He shouldn't be mad nothing had happened. The way I was acting with Sam was the same way I was acting with Jake.
I found my phone in my right pocket and dialed Troy but of course he didn't reply. I think I called him 10 times after that. But not once did he pick up.
"I'm sorry." Sam told me as he entered my room. "It was not like I wanted the two of you to get in a fight."
"It's not your fault. I should have told you." I told him. I loved Troy I did, but right now the problems with him didn't seem that important. Of course I didn't want us to fight. But my mind was just elsewhere right now. "It was easier when we were kids."
"What was?" he asked as he grabbed a chair and sat down across from me.
"Everything. Life you know."
"I know what you mean. There were no problems then, just a whole lot of playing. We had no worries and had the world at our feet. "
"Tell me about it. I wish we could just go back. Back to when we were inseparable. When we faced everything together. I wish I'd never left you."
"Bella it wasn't your decision and you all needed to start over. It was the right thing at that time."
"And what is the right thing now?"
"I think only your heart can tell you that."
"I think I need to go see Troy." I told him and he laughed.
"That's probably not the worst idea."