My dog whined at the front door as it shut behind her. I heard her feet hit the porch steps until the sound disappeared in the sand and onto the pebble beach.

Dammit.

"Bosley, cut it out." I groaned.

I let out a sigh I didn't realize I'd been holding and looked down in defeat at my undeniably adorable dog.

I winced as I thought about the morning that had just blown by me.

I shouldn't have invited her in in the first place.

She was already too close.

Well nicely done, Edward. You scared her away.

It's better this way. Isn't it?

I dumped my coffee down the drain and placed my mug in the sink. Right beside hers. A small part of me thought it was strange to see two mugs there beside each other instead of just one.

She had been right here, so close I could smell her. She smelled fucking amazing. Her scent was floral and light. It calmed me somehow. I hadn't been able to stop watching her, breathing her in. Even when I knew better, I wanted to kiss her.

I grabbed the mess of sketch papers I'd left carelessly on the counter earlier. She almost saw them. What would she have thought when she saw sketches of her likeness on the pages?

She'd think you're a fuckin creep.

I barely knew the girl, but in only a short time, I had already memorized her face well enough to sketch it.

Bella said that the rocking motion of the swing put her to sleep. It seems we have something in common. That's precisely why I took the boat out at two in the morning to see if maybe I could get some rest. The swaying motion was comforting to me as well.

I would have brought Bosley but the rocking doesn't always agree with him. And I did not feel like cleaning up dog puke that early in the morning. No fuckin thank you.

My head was too busy to sleep though. It was either nightmares of that night all those years ago, or an embarrassing repeat of Alice's dinner party playing over and over in my head. I'd been rude and invasive and arrogant, when really I was just nervous as hell. And I hated it. But most of all I thought about Bella. She was driving me crazy. I wanted to hate her for making me so curious about her. For making me want to even think about being close to someone again.

For making me just want her.

Imagine my surprise when I find the girl who has been plaguing my brain asleep with my dog on my front porch.

She looked....God, she looked gorgeous.

I had no idea what to do when I walked onto that porch. I didn't want to wake her, but I knew I needed to. I watched her sleep for a few minutes, observing the rise and fall of her chest, the way her little body looked so long and lean stretched out across my swing. The child like innocence on her face while she slept.

I warred with myself. Everything about her drew me in. But she couldn't stay. She couldn't get close. She couldn't know me. Not really. She could never know what I'd done. The things I was responsible for.

The first time I'd seen her she really was grinning to herself on her bicycle. I'd been in my car on the way to the hardware store for some project supplies when I'd seen her. It was the smile that caught my attention most. I wanted to know what had made her so happy, so free. There was just something about her. It was familiar and foreign all at once.

I'd seen her a few more times before actually meeting her in her little shop.

Once, I saw her and that oversized res kid moving boxes into her apartment. Another time I saw her in her shop window, getting her hands dirty with potting soil. She was completely absorbed in the task in front of her. She was in her own universe it seemed.

The more I saw her, the more beautiful she became. Bella was small and petit, brown hair and eyes... She didn't have an in-your-face kind of beauty. She was certainly pretty at first glance. But it was only after you were close enough to her, after you'd seen the freckles on her face and flecks of gold in her brown eyes, after you had watched her laugh and smile, after you'd seen her in a backless dress, or after she'd put you in your fucking place...it was afterthat you realized how absolutely stunning she was.

When I came into her shop for the first time I was nervous - and pissed that I even felt that way. Girls didn't make me nervous. Never did. I was anxious for Alice to hurry up that day so I could get going, I had pieces to work on in the studio. Normally I would have waited in the car, but I was too curious.

The girl had a nice little shop. It was well kept and it smelled amazing. All the plants and flowers were pristine. I had been drawn to the lilies against my will. The white graceful petaled flowers seemed to pop up regularly in my life. I remembered them in my mother's garden, I remembered them at her funeral. I even had them tattooed on my arm in her memory. The large black and white shaded flowers wrapped around my bicep and over my shoulder, accompanied by a quarter sleeve of green leaves and more petals, reaching up and wrapping around the Cullen crest on my shoulder blade.

I never took the Cullen name when they adopted me out of some odd sense of obligation to my parents, but their crest on my shoulder was my tribute to them and the huge role they had played in my life after the accident.

And there I was, reliving the nightmare of my life as I looked at the lilies that day in Bella Swan's shop.

I wanted to answer her when she spoke to me. I wanted to focus on her voice and pull myself out of it. But I couldn't.

Even after I dropped Alice off at her house that day I couldn't find it in me to be social. I needed to paint.

Painting was home. Painting was safe. Painting was release. My work was so emotionally charged that I let it become my own form of therapy. When the memories became too much, when it all came to the surface again, I beat the shit out of my canvas with all the colors that made me feel. By the time I would finish, I'd be too exhausted to feel anything at all.

And not feeling anything at all made life so much simpler.

For a while after the accident I didn't realize I could do this with paint. I probably still owe Carlisle and Esme for the dry wall patch jobs in my old bedroom at their house. I wrecked some walls and broke some glass. My knuckles and hands had a few scars from numerous stitch jobs.

Esme was all about finding me an outlet or a hobby. I tried sports for a while, but I got in too many fights. Little things triggered me for a long time before time and therapy helped me find some control. I tried wood working, but I wasn't patient enough. She even tried to get me to try Tai Chi. Fuck that shit.

But she hit the jack pot when she handed me my first real set of paints. I can still see her face beaming at me after I'd spent the entire afternoon up in my room, unable to stop working.

Soon I was taking numerous art classes in and outside of school. I couldn't get enough. I didn't spend much time with friends from school, I didn't date much either. I was too wrapped up in my art and still too fucked up to make real connections with even my own cousins. I spent more and more of my time covered in paint, blasting music from my stereo and zoning out.

Luckily for me, this was how I made a living. I'd stood out in my college fine arts program, even though my liberal arts grades were fairly average. I got picked up by an agent my senior year and I'd had several since then. I'd honed my energy into a craft that could be successful for me. And it worked. I'd been lucky enough to show in not only local galleries and other university shows, but also in New York City and Los Angeles.

The money that I earned allowed me to live the private life that I needed. When I was old enough, I sold my parent's house and put the money into restoring our family cottage. The hefty inheritance left for me was plenty of help as well. My father was a rich man - not a good man - but a rich one. We used to spend the summers here in Riverdale. I'd loved this cottage when I was younger. My dad stopped taking us when things got bad. Until I bought it out and restored it, I hadn't been in it for eight years. This was the place where only good memories had happened. My parent's home harbored more painful memories than I could count. The cottage was the only good part of our lives together that I could stand to hold on to.

During college I came out of my shell a bit more. Time is a funny thing. They say it heals you. I think it makes you hazy and forgetful. It might sew your wounds together, but they never heal quite right. I could be a social person easily, I could be anyone I wanted to be if I tried hard enough. And I was good at it.

I knew how to be the kind of guy other dudes wanted to chill with. I knew how to be the guy that women wanted. I got so good at pretending to be all these different people and I liked it. It was easier than being me. But it hardened me in a lot of ways. It made me careless and rude at times like I was at Alice's house warming party. I was aware of it, but too proud to shut the hell up. I was used to dominating the discussions I had. I was used to always having the upper hand when I played the role of the social man. Bella pulled the rug out from under me. I'd be lying if I said my ego wasn't a little bruised. She humbled me.

I'd been with women but never for very long and never, ever in my cottage. My cottage was the one place I didn't have to pretend. I enjoyed intimate relationships, but only in the physical form. My shit was mine to worry about, my baggage wasn't to be exposed or shared. Women who wanted to 'really know' me were the kind of women I stayed away from. I didn't fall in love even if I could have. I never let it happen. I'd learned. I'd learned the hard way that loving someone meant having everything to lose in the end. The bigger the love, the greater the loss. It was a risk I didn't want to take. I knew the outcome. I'd already lost.

And besides, if they ever knew the truth about me, about what I did... they would leave anyway. Plain and simple.

The only one I truly loved besides my family, was Bosley. He had been a gift from Esme and Carlisle during some of my darker years after the accident. I think they thought he would help me cope, help me learn to be affectionate again.

I tried really hard not to love that dog, knowing it would only be painful to become emotionally invested in anyone. But he made it impossible not to love him.

When they first gave him to me I was already in trouble. He was just so goddamn cute. I made it my mission not to get attached. Beyond feeding him and walking him I did my very best to ignore him. He cried at night when I wouldn't let him sleep in my bed. He nipped at my heels when he wanted to play and I would push him away. I never beat him or yelled at him, but I was horrible to that dog. Even now when I look back on it, I have no idea why he loves me at all.

Soon he had learned my coldness and became a very quiet puppy. He started to not eat as much and I began to worry. I tried to feed him by hand and he wouldn't have any of it. He would mistake my outstretched hand for an offer to pet, which I wouldn't do. When he realized this, he would simply turn away from me and lay down. He didn't want my food, he wanted my affection. And I was too afraid to give it.

But I remember the night it all changed.

It was storming out and Bosley was crying from behind my bedroom door. He was still a puppy, still growing into his huge paws and ears. It took a lot of my will power to ignore him, but I did it. I slipped into a restless sleep that soon became a full on night terror.

Everything about that night was in such clear, crisp focus. The memory of my mother's face, twisted in gruesome death, was too much. It was all just too fucking much.

When I woke up I was sitting on my bathroom floor, my mirror in shards beneath me and my knuckles, hands, and elbows were covered in blood. And there was Bosley in the door way, crying and stumbling over his big puppy paws, trying to get over the glass and over to me.

I told him to stay away, afraid he might cut his paws open if he came in. With my head still reeling I turned to vomit in the toilet. I was so worked up. The nightmares always threw me into a darkness and a sorrow that I couldn't get away from. I could feel it in my gut.

When I was finished I focused on the task at hand, cleaning up glass and washing the blood off my hands. I was too exhausted to drive to the hospital, I knew I needed stitches, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I wrapped up my knuckles as best I could, took some pain pills and found Bosley waiting for me.

All my walls had become rubble that night and I couldn't stop myself from scooping up that big, dumb dog, putting him on my bed and crawling in beside him. I was so exhausted I couldn't even sleep. I just wept. Bosley put his head on my chest and watched me cry. It was the first time he had been calm all night. I needed comfort and finally let myself give in to it. Bosley needed it too. We needed each other. It was as if we both just needed this breakdown to happen before we could move on again.

I still have night terrors once in a blue moon. I wake up and I don't know how I got where I am. But wherever I wander in my sleep, Bosley follows, watching over me loyally. And since that night, I've been unable to not love that damn dog.

I started to work harder at taking care of him and training him. His appetite returned full strength. He was now officially a fat ass dog. But I loved him. Away from the world in our cottage by the beach, we were safe.

My cottage was pretty sacred to me. No one other than Esme, Carlisle or my cousins had stepped foot in this house.

Not until Bella.

I still don't know how I let that happen.

I took my little stack of sketches and marched up the stairs to the second floor. When I remodeled I made a fairly large floor plan, leaving one end of the floor entirely devoted to studio space and the other into a master suite. I dropped the sketches onto my work desk and headed into the other room, glancing at my unmade king sized bed.

For a split second I imagined Bella there. I could picture her lying in my bed with her bare back towards me, sound asleep.

The thought made me...content.

But then I saw her face in my mind as she left this morning. Disappointed. Sad. Hurt. And probably pissed and confused.

I walked into my bathroom, stopping for a moment to observe the man in the mirror.

Jesus, I look like shit.

There were dark rings beginning to form underneath my eyes. I looked paler than usual. I needed to shave.

I wondered briefly what Bella really saw when she looked at me.

Why the fuck does it matter? You ruined your chances with her anyway.

I stripped out of my clothes quickly, turning on the scalding hot spray inside of my glass shower. Even though I knew my skin would be a fleshy, raw pink afterwards, the steam, the slight pain, the sound of water...it all cleared my head usually. I tried to let the morning's events fade away from me, but Bella's image would not leave my mind.

I wanted her to come back. To be here.

But for her sake and mine, it couldn't happen. Could it?

I felt the heat of the shower sear my back and legs. I hissed, feeling it bring me to the present for a moment.

But when my body adjusted, my mind was with Bella again. Or rather she was with me, in my shower. The haze of steam lingering over her, a warm cloud of glistening moisture hanging about her naked body. Piercing eyes, searching me. Always searching me. Round hips, the swell of her breasts, pink, taught nipples and rosy cheeks, long, smooth legs and the wetness between them.

I groaned at the thought of her like this. Naked for me. Wanting me. I reached out and placed one hand against the stone tile wall while the other wrapped around my cock.

If I lost myself enough to it all, I could pretend she was here. Her hot, wet little mouth wrapped around me, while those beautiful brown doe eyes looked up at mine.

I wondered what she tasted like. I wanted my mouth on her just as much as I wanted hers on me. I wanted to know the look of ecstasy that adorned her face when she came.

I wanted her too much.

I came easily, as I had at least twice since seeing her saturday. That backless dress had been a game changer. I groaned loudly, part in pleasure and part in pure frustration. I couldn't have her. And that's how it had to be.

Normally, I'd fuck her out of my system and leave. I'd be anyone I needed to be until I could have her the way I wanted. But something about her stopped me.

Deep down I knew it wouldn't be enough. I couldn't need her.

I couldn't need anyone. I'd never hurt anyone like that again.

I shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping myself in a thick towel and feeling my skin tingle with the change in temperature.

I looked at myself in the mirror again. I still looked like shit.

I deconstructed my own image into palette hues of color. Pale ivory, sickly yellow, indigo blue, wine red and bone white.

When I thought of Bella I saw every warm, rich color I could think of. She was so much more...alive.

Walking into my room I headed towards my closet. I was happy to pull out my warmer clothes as the autumn rolled in. I threw on some dark wash jeans and a black v-necked sweater.

I grabbed my sketchbook, my laptop and a pencil and went down the stairs.

Bosley followed me out onto the front porch, wagging his tail happily. I didn't look at the scribbles on the mud room wall that Bella had just seen this morning. I never liked to look at it, but I couldn't bring myself to paint over it when I remodeled.

I made myself comfortable on the bench swing, pulling an ottoman close to put my feet up on. Opening up my laptop, I tapped into the world for a few minutes, checking my emails.

When I wasn't preparing for a show, I did freelance graphic work or illustrations for whoever would hire me for the job. I'd made quite a network of connections for myself doing this. I'd done wine labels, packaging themes, menu or even tattoo designs. I'd painted signs for small businesses in town or helped reinvent logos. It wasn't always the most thrilling, but it was just another outlet for some creativity and new skills. The side cash was fun to play with as well. I was saving up to go to Europe again this coming summer.

Maybe thats exactly what I need. To just get the fuck out of here for a while.

I answered a few emails and checked the local listings for any side jobs I might be able to pick up. I sketched some ideas for an album cover for my friend Garrett's band, Volturi. I was going into town to see them play tonight at one of the locals bars.

I wondered idly what kind of music Bella listened to.

As it usually did when I was working on a project, time escaped me. The morning slipped away and soon it was just past noon. My hands and my pencil had been busy for a few hours now but it only felt like maybe thirty minutes had passed. This happened to me often.

My phone ringing made me jump, scaring Bosley in the process.

"Jesus..."

It was Alice.

"Hey, Al."

"Edward! I'm glad I caught you." she said, talking at the speed of light as usual. "I need you to do me a hugggeee favor."

I sighed, leaning back against the swing.

"What do you need, Al?"

I could never say no to Alice. Even when I really, really wanted to. She was my sister, adopted or not, that's who she was to me.

I remember staying my first night with the Cullens about a week after the accident. I was sixteen, scared shitless, grieving and angry. I couldn't eat the dinner that Esme had prepared. I remember her watching me with sad eyes, hoping I would eat. The family was somber. Carlisle especially. I couldn't look at him.

It was because of me his sister was dead.

Nobody spoke much to me that day and if they did, it was in hushed, sympathetic tones. They all let me be for the most part. But Alice never left me alone. She was constantly trying to make me laugh or smile, making a royal ass out of herself in the process. But she didn't care what anyone thought, she was determined to bring me out of it, even if only for a minute.

At first I hated it. She annoyed me to no end. I didn't want to laugh. I didn't think I could. I yelled at her, I pushed her away. I even made her cry.

But she held my hand through the entirety of my parent's funeral. Her hand was my life line that day.

As much as we fought, Alice had me right where she wanted me.

"Listen, can you come with me to Bella's shop today? Mom pulled out all her welcome wagon stops and made her some ridiculous amount of food. She had to run to a meeting and asked me to drop it all off. Jasper's on a conference call and I need help carrying stuff."

Ahh shit.

"Please? I can't even lift the soup pot by myself, it's huge!"

I sighed. Esme was probably the most caring and thoughtful woman in the world. And she loved to cook. If she made you food, you were family. I knew just by watching her at the dinner table that she already thought pretty highly of Bella. And the compassionate heart she had couldn't stand that Bella lived alone. Motherly instincts and all that shit.

This was not helpful in my plans to avoid Bella Swan.

"Oh come on, Edward. It'll only take an hour! Please?"

I rolled my eyes and looked out across the porch to the water. I noticed a pop of color on the porch railing that wasn't there before. A rag tag little bunch of wild flowers were arranged in one of my paint jars.

Bella.

"Fine, Al. I'll do it."

"Thank you! Yes! Perfect. Come over my house at two and we can load up the car. And please be nice to Bella today, Edward. She's a good girl. She's not some tramp like Tanya either so don't try anything funny..."

And now she rambles.

I ended our phone conversation with as minimal attitude as I could manage. My hands ran through my hair roughly, as they often did when I felt anxiety.

I was a little torn. Even though I knew it would be awkward after this morning, I wanted to see Bella again. I had absolutely no idea how to behave around her. She seemed to have that effect on me.

With other women, it was easy to read what kind of man they wanted. Some wanted a confident, borderline arrogant and successful man. Some wanted funny. Some wanted brooding and artistic. I could easily shape shift into any one of these characters. I knew what they wanted and exactly how to behave to get what I wanted.

But Bella was unreadable. Something about her held a sense of purity. Her personality thus far demanded nothing more from me than honesty. I couldn't fit a type for her. I had no idea what that was. But I knew she was real and genuine. She should expect nothing less than the same.

I didn't know if I could do real and genuine. It had been so long since I had been that honest with even myself.

But she made me want to be.

I didn't know how I felt about that.

I did a lot of pacing until it came time to head to Alice's. I was counting down minutes until I had to leave, trying to fill them with things that wouldn't allow to think too much. I called Mac and gave him some information for the gallery interviews. I dutifully folded laundry and cleaned up my work area, throwing out bad sketches, cruddy newspaper and old beer cans. I tossed Bosley a treat he probably didn't need.

Damn. I gotta run with that fat dog some more...

I slapped together a peanut butter and banana sandwich, downing it with a glass of milk before grabbing my keys and heading out the back door to the car.

I pulled up to Alice's house a few minutes later and she was already waiting for me outside.

"You're late." she grinned.

"Shut up."

She bounced up the stairs to the door, yet again in a ridiculously tall pair of heels.

"Do you even own sneakers?"

"Sneakers are for soccer moms and gym teachers."

I laughed. Alice never worked out a day in her life. She was horrible at sports. She used to bring nail polish to PE in high school. Some how, a combination of her freaky metabolism and family genetics kept her as tiny as she was. That, and I was pretty sure her and Jasper fucked constantly.

Ew.

I followed her into the house back to the kitchen where there was one gigantic pot of soup wrapped and ready to go, a crock pot with some kind of casserole looking thing in it, a big basket of homemade wheat bread, a large cake box and a jug of cider.

Typical Esme.

One trip at a time I loaded my Volvo with the feast. Not much later we were pulling up to Bella's shop.

I could feel myself taking shallower breaths than usual. I was nervous. It was a feeling I detested.

I could see Bella through the large shop front windows. She was using floral sheers to trim an arrangement she was working on.

Her expression was one of focus and concentration. But the usual happy and carefree glow around her was gone. A practiced observer would know immediately that something heavy was on her mind. She was frustrated.

I felt a pang of shame.

She had her long hair pulled back into a loose and wavy braid that hung over one shoulder. A few wispy strands fell down around her face. The blush on her cheeks was a pale pink. Her nose was a little red.

Before I knew it, the shop door was jingling as we entered. I stayed behind Alice, waiting and watching her carefully.

"Hey Bella!"

God, Alice. Volume control.

Bella gave a small jump and looked up at us wide eyed. Her eyes jumped from Alice to me, staying locked with mine for just a moment longer.

"H-hey...what are you guys doing here?" she asked, putting on her best smile for Alice.

"We come bearing welcome gifts!"

Bella looked at her, confused but smiling. "What are you up to Alice..."

She came out from behind the counter she was working at, wiping her wet hands on her apron and pocketing the sheers.

I took a moment to look at the arrangement she was working on while Alice explained Esme's gifts.

I didn't know the names of every flower, but her color palette was magnificent. Deep, rich purples and greens with the accents of burnt orange petals here and there. The different textures of each chosen plant worked in harmony together. Twisting vine like sprouts accompanied linear lines of straight stemmed buds. It all worked together flawlessly.

Bella was an artist too.

"Alice, I can't take all of this! Esme didn't have to do anything like this for me." she said. She seemed genuinely taken aback with Esme's gesture.

"Oh don't be silly. This is how Mom works. She really likes you, Bella. Besides, you won't have to go grocery shopping for a week with all the stuff she made you! Come on, Ed. Lets bring it in."

I rolled my eyes. I hated it when she called me Ed. Ed, Eddie...no thank you.

She skipped past me and out the door. I caught the handle and made to follow her, but I couldn't stop myself before I looked back to see Bella, watching me. She was confused, clearly. She looked like she wanted to say something but didn't know where to begin.

We stared at one another for what felt like minutes. Both of us searching without even knowing what it was we were looking for. It became clear to me in that moment that perhaps both of us were equally lost. And while we didn't know what the answers were, we somehow felt they were in each other.

At least I was beginning to see that was true for me.

I softened my stance as best I could, still feeling anxiety in my bones. I shrugged gently at her, trying to tell her I was just as confused, and didn't have any answers for her either.

Alice was already back through the door with the bread basket, totally oblivious to the stillness in the room. Bella snapped out of it sooner than I did, smiling graciously and taking the bread basket from Alice, who was making a show out of how heavy it was.

Such a baby.

"Edward would you get a move on? We gotta get some of this food in Bella's fridge!"

"Oh, that's right." said Bella, shaking her head as if just snapping out of it. "You can bring them right up to my apartment. I'll open the door for you."

Gathering what I could from the car, I followed Bella and Alice up a flight of stairs on the right side of the shop towards the back.

As Bella fumbled with her keys I started to get excited almost. I was curious to see where she lived. People's houses can teach you a lot about them. I wanted to learn Bella, even if I was trying so hard not to. The desire was still present.

She opened the door up to a rather tiny apartment. The main door opened right up to the kitchen. Everything was so clean.

There was a moderately sized, wooden kitchen table in the center of the room that of course, had a gorgeous arrangement of flowers in the center of it. The sink, oven, cupboards and counter tops wrapped around it in an L shape against the outer walls. The fridge, luckily, was closest to the door.

"You can just set it all on this table or on the counter and I'll make room for it in my fridge." Bella said, fidgeting a little.

She was nervous. Or uncomfortable. Or something. Maybe she wasn't sure about us being in her personal space.

Or maybe she was just unsure of having me in her personal space.

"I'll help you with the last of it." she said to Alice, about to follow her down the stairs.

She stopped abruptly though, and turned around, busying herself over the counter. I couldn't see what she was doing, the refrigerator blocked my view.

I started to head down the stairs, but stopped just outside the door frame to peek back and watch her. She was putting things away into the drawers under the sink almost frantically. I couldn't tell what it was, but it was obvious that she didn't want Alice or I to see. I thought I heard the rattling sound of a pill bottle...a couple of them... but I couldn't be sure. She shoved in a few magazines after whatever it was she needed to hide, making a small show of tidying up.

She shut the drawer quickly and turned to follow us down to the ground floor, pausing when she saw me watching her. A blush immediately crept over her cheeks. She looked...afraid.

She cleared her throat and managed to put a weak smile back on. Her hands came to the neck line of her t-shirt, lifting it up unnecessarily and smoothing it down against her chest. Her arms wrapping around her body as if she were protecting herself.

"Shall we?" she said, gesturing towards the stairs. Her tone was polite but cold and her eyes narrowed at me. Understandable, considering the way we left things this morning.

I moved aside to let her pass in front of me. She paused again, close to me. Much too close to me. I could smell her again, feel her body heat radiating from her as we stood on the same step.

She took a breath, opening her mouth to speak. She stopped herself twice before squaring her shoulders and looking me in the eye.

"How is it, Edward, that you tell me you don't want to be friends one morning and yet the same afternoon wind up on my door step?" she asked, looking me directly in the eyes. The assertiveness had me on my toes.

Once again, Bella surprises me. She doesn't play games or beat around the bush. And she certainly doesn't play dumb.

"It's..."

"Complicated. I know." she interrupted. "Did you ever think for once that you aren't the only one with a complicated life? You'll have to do better than that, Edward."

She was quiet for a moment, her eyes on my lips and nose. When she looked back up at me, her tone was hushed.

"Why are you here?" she asked ever so quietly.

"Alice ...called me to lend a hand..." I spoke through a deep sigh, trying to make an excuse. Why the hell was I here?

"Why did you say yes? She could have called anyone she wanted to come help had you said no. Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett... You knew she was coming here. If you don't want anything to do with me, why come?"

I swallowed once and looked down at her. I could lie. I could tell Alice had me running her around for errands and stopped here without my knowing. But somehow I couldn't form an answer for her. I just knew I wanted to see her again.

Our gaze was unwavering, locked on each other. The intensity of it was more than I could handle. Yet neither of us looked away.

"Why did you come, Edward?" she practically whispered. Her face was so close to mine. She stepped forward ever so slightly. My body, without my permission, moved forward as well. Like magnets we moved towards one another.

My eyes were adhered to her face. Her eyes, her nose, her lips. In a breath's time I was inches away from her. Our mouths aligning, eyes asking permission. I could feel her warm breath gently move across my face. I wanted to kiss her so fucking badly.

And she hadn't pulled away yet. She was waiting for me to do it.

I put one hand on the wall behind her and stepped forward again, her body moving back against the wall and mine moving even closer to hers.

Her eyes became half lidded as she watched my face move even closer to hers. I touched my nose to hers gently, sweeping it against hers. I slowly let out a nervous, shuttering breath, letting my eyes close as I leaned in to close the distance between us.

Our lips had barely touched, the softness of her mouth only a brief sensation before Alice's shrill, barbie doll voice echoed from the shop below.

"Edward! All that's left is the pot of soup! Can you grab it?"

We both froze, eyes wide open now, looking at each other, waiting for the other to move. My top lip was still touching hers.

You can't do this, Edward.

Reality came crashing down on me. I'd gotten caught up too quickly in the gorgeous girl in front of me. I can't do this.

I growled lowly in frustration, wincing as I lifted my mouth from hers. My hand became a fist on the wall before I turned away from Bella, still frozen in front of me, and moved quickly down the stairs. Away from her warmth, her scent, her mouth...God, her mouth. I went straight out the front door, ignoring the damn jingle of the welcome bell and opening the trunk in a hurry.

I heaved the soup pot out of the trunk and back into the shop in record speed. Bella had come down stairs and was chatting with Alice, her composure returning to her.

I made quick work of getting up the stairs and setting the pot down unceremoniously on the wooden table.

As soon as I was back down the stairs I was ready to get out of there. Cause if I didn't I would either say something stupid or just ending up kissing her the way I wanted to. Both were bad ideas

"Al, let's go and let Bella get back to work." I said carefully. Unable to look Bella in the eyes. "I think we've bothered her enough for one day."

Bella opened her mouth to argue but Alice was already hugging her.

"Oh, Edward's right. I hope we didn't bug you too much. Listen, call me when you close up shop. Are you doing anything tonight?"

"Oh um...my friend Angela is coming to visit. I don't know what we have planned for tonight yet..." Bella said distractedly.

"Well I'm on my own tonight. Jasper's working late. Maybe Rose and I could meet you two and we'll have a girls night out?"

Blah blah blah... Alice.

"I'll be in the car." I interjected. I nodded once at Bella before leaving the shop.

In the safety of my car I let out a long breath. I hadn't been breathing right all afternoon.

What the hell just happened?

No. No. That couldn't happen again. I had to stop thinking. I needed an out. A distraction. Anything.

I picked up my cell phone and dialed. After three rings, she picked up.

"Edward?" God she was so much better when she stopped talking.

"Hey Tanya..."

"Hey youuu. So glad you called. I haven't heard from you in a while. I missed my Eddie."

Ew.

"Um yeah, so listen. I need to get fucked up tonight. My buddy Garrett's band is playing at Eclipse tonight. You game?"

"Absolutely."

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