I decided to post this chapter early, just because I could. (: With the arrival of Christmas Break, I should be able to get a lot more writing done with the story and start posting new chapters every 2 weeks again. No guarantee on that yet, but I'm gonna work really hard so it'll probably happen.

Thank you guys for all the reviews lately! SSBTMM, Naivette, Crystal4458, Luthien Eriol, and Eddie camp. Glad you guys are really analyzing the chapters and characters; I appreciate you guys for doing that. This chapter's a really, really deep one in my opinion. One of the most shocking ones. First some responses to people's reviews:

SSBTMM, I've never seen "Ghost" (I don't even really know what it is xP) So no, I wasn't making a reference to anything.
Naivette, you smell a love triangle with everything. xD
Crystal, I'm glad you appreciate the character depth! It's good to know that I'm doing a nice job making people who are very real and relatable.

Chapter Nine: Hate

"Are you positive about this, John?" I asked nervously, shifting nervously on my seat as I sat between John and Riku. It was so bizarre sitting between the two guys that both cared for me. While John knew Riku cared, Riku had no idea about John. And it was going to stay that way; we had bigger things to be concerned about.

John said that he knew where my dad was after thinking about the clues. And of course I believed him; he wouldn't lie to me about such a thing. Or anything at all since he clearly still liked me even if he "let me go". Even if it was very obvious to me, Riku didn't seem to notice. That was completely shocking to me since he was so observative all the time, but I wasn't complaining. I could hardly focus on John and Riku when I was thinking about my dad. We were heading towards him now, on the train to the beach because of John's insistence.

"I'm positive this is at least where he wanted you to go next," John said as he interrupted my thoughts. "But you said you didn't know if these clues would lead you right to him, right?"

"Unfortunately," I responded, scrunching my nose. I assumed that this would lead me to his location, but John just pointed out that that could be wrong. What if this riddle would lead me to another clue? And then another and then another? How impossible would it be to figure out where he was if I couldn't decipher the first set of clues on my own? Please, please let us find him here…I prayed.

"Well, whether we find him here or not, this is the next step. Can I see those pictures you have?"

"Oh, yeah, sure," I said. I stood up briefly on the train and reached into my back pocket as I pulled out the three pictures I kept on me. Out of all the pictures in the photo albums, these three had either "Clue One", "Clue Two", or "Clue Three" written on the back of them. These were the only pictures I had left since the others were missing for some reason.

I extended my hand and gave John the pictures as I sat back down on my seat, seeing him flip from the rocks to the shovel and then to sunset. "Ah ha, here it is," John murmured.

"Hm?" What's that supposed to mean?

"The sunset was what helped me figure out what the other clues meant," John explained. "Well…sort of. The only thing that makes sense with the clues of rocks, shovels, and sunsets would be Sunset Hill, but you already checked there. And that doesn't make sense anyway since that place isn't really a significant place to your dad. But what if it's not a sunset? This picture looks more like a sunrise to me."

Sunrise? So the clues were rocks, shovels and sunrises. "I still don't get it," I confessed quietly.

John looked over and gave me a funny look, though he wasn't overly critical of me. "Are you trying to connect these clues to your past?" he asked, trying to give me a hint.

"I am, but honestly…I don't remember much of my past. I purposely shut out a lot of it because of…" I trailed off, knowing that John now had enough information to fill in the rest. My past was purposely forgotten, or at least buried deep within my mind, because of Isabella. I didn't want to remember her, and she was attached to almost every single memory I had. I remembered loving my father, I remembered his voice, and his character, but specific events…Those I didn't know so much. Did that have to do with why I couldn't figure out the clues?

John understood what went unsaid. "Okay, well…Do you remember when we were little that our parents always brought us to the beach?"

I looked down at my knees, seeing both Riku's and John's on either side of me as I tried to remember. "…Yeah," I said after a few seconds. Now that he mentioned it, I remembered it surprisingly well. John and I had been friends ever since we were children. Our dads had gotten really close and so had our mothers. Or at least, his mom liked my mom. The two of them always walked off on their own while our dads took us to the beach. Those days…They were incredible. I got away from my mom and I had privacy with my dad and my best friend. How could I have forgotten that?

"Well, the beach is significant to you and your dad," John continued. "And the sun rises at the beach."

That makes sense! I thought, catching on and glancing over at my friend beside me. "Okay, now I get that. But the rocks? And the shovel?" Was I supposed to dig something up?

"The rocks could mean one of two things," he explained. "Either it can represent the sand-"

"Wait a second," Riku interrupted as he spoke for the first time. "Why didn't he just give her pictures of sand then?"

"Probably because it'd be too obvious," John said. "These clues were purposely vague and connected to Steph's memories so that in the best case scenario, she'd be able to figure it out while nobody else could." When Riku hummed in understanding, John continued explaining. "Now, either the rocks could stand for sand or it could stand for the rocks at the shore. Remember how whenever we went to the beach we sat by the rock and coral wall?"

"Yeah…yeah that's right!" I said, eyes widening in recognition. At the beach, there was a coral and rock wall that extended from the water up to the beach. We always sat right there, and my dad… "My dad always said to go there whenever we got into trouble," I realized aloud.

"You got it. I think he meant that for right now too. Maybe he knew that one day Isabella would try to get rid of him. He wanted you to go there for some reason."

"To dig something up?" I asked. "With a shovel?"

John shrugged. "Maybe. Or maybe he just meant to point you to the beach because we always dug up the sand with those toy shovels."

I looked over at John in awe, sure to keep myself from leaving my mouth agape. How did he figure this all out? It all fit together so perfectly! As soon as we got to the beach, we'd have to look around that area to see if there were any clues that would lead me to my dad. He probably wasn't going to make this easy since he didn't want anyone but me finding him. At least, that was what I figured since the clues were connected to me and my past. Why was he being so secretive? And who stole the photo albums out of my living room? Were the two things connected somehow? Maybe somebody else was searching for him…Maybe he was in danger.

"I sort of doubt that he'd have us dig up the beach," John continued upon hearing my silence. "I mean, that's too easy for somebody else to stumble upon. Unless he just put it there recently."

"We're here," Riku interrupted before I could respond. Sure enough, the train came to a stop at the station at the beach. It would be a pretty good walk until we were at the spot, but that was okay. There was something I still needed to do.

As we got up and left the train, I noticed that Riku was walking right beside me while John was on the other side. "Have you ever been to the beach before, Riku?" I asked him quietly, glancing over at him while not holding his hand like I should have.

"Once," he responded with a small nod. "Why?"

"I just…I was wondering if you could walk on ahead and give me a minute to talk to John," I requested quietly. He answered so many questions of mine already, but there was still another that I had to ask. I didn't know how he would respond to it, though. That scared me but I wouldn't refuse to ask it because of my fear. Ignorant was not something I could be right now.

Riku gave me a look, but he did walk forward without questioning me further. I hoped Riku didn't take it too personally; I just needed some privacy to ask John my next question. It wasn't a pleasant one in any way, shape, or form. In fact, it was one of the worst questions that could ever be asked. But I was about to voice it despite all that because I of all people needed to know the truth.

"John?" I asked softly.

"Hm?"

"I…I have another question."

"What is it?" my friend prodded gently while he gazed at me.

Can I even say it…? "John…I don't even remember how my dad died," I blurted. John suddenly halted in his walking and I did the same, seeing his stunned and confused expression. "I know, it's terrible," I continued. "But my mom wouldn't tell me the details. All that she said was that he died. And then she wouldn't let me read the newspapers at all to figure out what was going on. Not that I would have understood anyway since I was only six, but…"

"…Steph…"

"And it then it seemed like she kept everyone quiet after that too. People wouldn't talk to me about my dad at all after he died. Soon after it happened, life was back to normal for everyone. It was like they didn't care, even if they were friends with him before. I never realized it till now…"

"Steph, are you…Are you okay?"

I blinked at John's tone, also seeing him step forward and set his hands on my shoulders. It was either meant to support me emotionally or physically, though I didn't see why the latter would be a problem. "I'm fine, why?" I asked timidly.

John shook his head. "…Nobody should have had to tell you about how he died," he said quietly. "…You were there."

My eyes widened as a memory suddenly flashed before my eyes.

*…*…*…*…*…*

Six years old. Innocent of any wrong doing and innocent of the concept of death and danger. That was me in a nutshell. Death was a word that held no meaning to me. "Suffering" and "loneliness" weren't a part of my vocabulary. While my mother was never especially kind to me, I was always alright as long as I had my best friend by my side. My daddy.

My daddy was by my side on that fateful day, and so was John. He was as adorable as a baby as he was grown up. His blond hair was much shorter than it was now that he was eighteen, but his green eyes shone the same way as always. His eyes reflected the same innocence as mine did all the time.

My eyes…They shone the same shade as the ocean when it reflected the sunlight during the day. My long eyelashes, which I batted whenever I wanted affection, only showed off my bright eyes. My hair that would eventually darken into a light brunette was more of a dirty blonde when I was just a child. Probably because of how often I was in the sun; that lightened the shade significantly until I was about ten. I spent less time outside after that day happened even if I didn't remember the details of it. The fear lingered inside my soul without me realizing it, dormant.

Laughing, I dug into the sand with my favorite blue shovel so that I could create a masterpiece of a castle for my daddy. John was there helping me too, waddling to the ocean to fill buckets of water so that the sand would stick together. My father was there watching us. He was quieter that day than usual, I remembered. But that could have been because it was only the three of us. His good friend—John's father, wasn't coming to the beach today for some reason. I thought he was sick.

"Here, pour the water here," I said to John, pointing one of my chubby fingers at the base of my castle. I had baby fat until I was about seven; that was when I grew out of it and received my slim figure. I was a stereotypically cute kid, but all the kids in Twilight Town were like that. Adorable and blessed with innocence.

Until it happened.

John dumped the bucket of water all over the castle, but the bucket was too heavy for the six year old to hold onto. He dropped it and the bucket demolished the work of art we were creating. "Aw, John…" I moaned, trying to fix the castle as he took away the bucket.

After a second, he dropped the bucket again and nearly destroyed what survived of the castle. I was confused and looked over at him. "John, what…?" I didn't have to finish the question because my eyes landed on the same thing that he was staring at. The sand between us and the ocean was suddenly turning black, as if it was goo instead of sand. And out of the dark goo arose several large creatures with extremely large yellow eyes, claws, and antennae.

I didn't know it then, but they were Heartless.

"Monsters!" a person down the beach screamed upon seeing the creatures. And soon, everybody was screaming in terror. This was the first time that the beach had ever been attacked by Heartless. It was also the last. People started panicking, grabbing their most important possessions before sprinting in any direction that would take them away from the creatures who ran after people to try and steal their hearts. Everyone knew to run…

Everyone but me and John.

"D-daddy?" I cried over the mayhem, looking over at him as the creatures got closer. Suddenly I saw him kneel down in front of me and John, his expression calmer than the other people's but still very concerned for my safety. He grabbed my hand and put it in John's before speaking.

"Stay together," he said.

I didn't understand what that was supposed to mean. "Daddy?" my six year old self said tearfully. What was going on?

"It'll be alright," he promised me and John then. Terry stayed kneeling down in front of me and gave me a kiss on the top of my short blonde head before he stood back up. "Go back home as soon as you can."

"Without you?" I asked.

"Alone?" John inquired as he naively continued to hold my hand.

"Yes," Terry said with a nod. "You two know the way, and if you need help, you can ask."

"Daddy…"

"Be brave, Steph." Dad glanced at me one more time before he turned around to face the monsters that stood between us and the ocean…and now our exit route. But that wouldn't be a problem for us in just a moment. My father flexed his hand and started summoning a magic that I had never seen before, but it was a magic that I would see again in eleven years. In a flash, a strange weapon appeared in his grasp. It was hardly sharp, but the Heartless all took a step away at the sight of the infamous weapon.

The Keyblade.

I didn't even know that my father knew how to fight. The fact that he even could summon a weapon so naturally left me feeling so baffled that I couldn't ask him about it before he charged ahead and started swinging at the nearest Heartless. In a few skillfully executed attacks, the monster vanished in a puff of smoke and a heart flew upwards into the sky.

"Go!" my daddy cried.

That was the only cue that John needed. He started running as fast as his little legs would carry him while dragging me along with him and gripping my hand tightly. While I ran with him, I couldn't sprint like he did because my attention was on the person who was still fighting the creatures to keep them from following us. "Dad!" I lost my grip on John's hand and tripped over a towel that was left on the beach, falling down on my face before I could catch myself.

John ran back to me while he wasn't far off, my young friend using all his strength to try and pull me back onto my feet. But he paused after a moment, a frightened cry leaving his lips as he saw a monster leap at the two of us. We both squeezed our eyes shut and prepared for the hurt that never arrived.

My father jumped in the way and destroyed the Heartless with one mighty swing, protecting his daughter and the boy who was my best friend. "Go!" he said again as more Heartless rose out of the sand.

This time, I knew that I had to listen to him and not be concerned about his safety. "Daddy, I love you!" I said shakily, rising to my feet with John's help. The two of us turned around and fled the same direction that everyone else did while my father lingered on the beach and fought off the Heartless until he died.

That was the last time that I ever saw my Dad, my best friend.

*…*…*…*…*…*

Tears were streaming down my face as the vivid memory returned to my mind, familiar to me now instead of being something I forgot. I remembered perfectly now. After John and I fled the beach, we managed to go on the train (we were able to slip on without showing our passes because of the chaos the Heartless created) and then we went to my mother. Isabella was already standing in the doorway and was tearful as she picked me up and hugged me. I cried into her shoulder out of fright, not out of grief.

She told John to go home to his family and then she took me inside and told me that my father wasn't coming back home.

"I-I can't believe that you didn't remember," John said quietly. I looked over at my friend through moist eyes and saw compassion in his green orbs, his blonde hair shaggy but neat as he gazed at me. "I mean, we were both there, and I…I never forgot that day."

"You saved my life," I whispered in awe. He dragged me out of there and pulled me away from the Heartless so that they couldn't hurt me…

"I started insisting that I learn to fight after that day," he said softly. "I told my parents it was because I liked the sport of it. They didn't know what happened at the beach…Nobody knew that your dad actually had a weapon and protected us. We're the only two who know about his last stand."

"But apparently it wasn't his last stand," I realized as I continued whispering and shedding tears. "He survived that day…"

"And so did we. Even if we shouldn't have. I just still don't understand why you don't remember."

Suddenly, I did realize why I didn't remember. "Isabella. She messed with my head." I lifted a hand to my head at that thought, fingers intertwining with my soft brunette locks as I looked to the ground. My past wasn't completely blocked out in my mind because of my own desires. It was true that I wanted to forget, but it was because of her that I actually did. She buried them so that I wouldn't remember the man who loved me, but it didn't work. My daddy's love conquered her spells so that I could remember him if somebody mentioned something. It made perfect sense.

John didn't know how to respond to the mention of the sorceress, but fortunately for him, he didn't have to. Riku finally approached us, walking up from behind me. After a moment, he appeared by my side and gazed at my face. He saw the tears and immediately became concerned. "Hey. What's going on here?"

Neither of us responded. And John didn't take his hands off my shoulders either.

"Steph?" Riku asked.

"Give her a minute," John said for my sake.

But Riku wouldn't accept somebody speaking on my behalf, even if he did it several times before. "Why?" he asked. "What's wrong?"

"She'll tell you when she's ready."

Riku fell silent, though he did half-glare at John because he thought that he was responsible for making me cry like this. It wasn't anything like that though; he reminded me of what happened but it wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault that my dad "died" that day to protect me and John. Was it my fault that he was gone though? What if I said I didn't want to go to the beach that day? What if I said I wanted ice cream instead? What if John hadn't been with us?

What if…What if I never got answers to all these questions I had about my past?

I lifted a hand and wiped at my tears after a moment, glad that the station was relatively empty so people wouldn't see my shedding so many tears. "I'm sorry," I whispered weakly to both of these boys.

"Don't apologize," John insisted gently. "You just remembered something huge and life changing."

Riku said nothing, because he didn't know anything. He had no clue what we were talking about after all. That was why I finally decided to break it to him. "I told you before how my memories from the past aren't easy to recall, right?" I whispered. Riku hummed to say "yes", so I continued. "John just managed to remind me of how my dad died. And that I was there to see it." When he was silent, I continued speaking. "We think Isabella suppressed my memories of that day and of him in general so I wouldn't remember him. She got inside my head…" That was the worst betrayal so far. She messed with my memories…

"I…I'm so sorry," Riku said quietly upon hearing what happened. John's hands left my shoulders as Riku's arm surround them instead, my boyfriend pulling me close to him in a side hug. My head found his shoulder as I nodded faintly to his sympathy, my tears slowing down as I tried to compose myself. I needed to, before anybody else saw me here and asked me what was wrong.

What was wrong was that I lost my father when I was only six years old. It was wrong that my memories of him were suppressed. It was wrong that I saw him go and then didn't remember it because of Isabella.

"I hate her," I whispered.

"What?" Riku asked. Either he was unable to hear me or he didn't understand what I said. I repeated it without clarification anyway.

"I hate her." I locked my jaw so I didn't scream it to the world. I never could say that I hated anybody before. It was such a strong word, like love. I used to love my mother Isabella despite how she didn't show me any love. Even after she betrayed me, I couldn't say that I hated her. But this was the absolute last straw. She took this too deep by messing with my head and keeping me from knowing my father through my memories.

For the first time ever, I hated somebody.

And because of that hatred, my innocence started to fade. Just as Riku feared it would.