twelve - kindness

Lily's thirteen and in Potions when she first notices James Potter's eyes on her - properly on her, not just a passing glance or a could I have the mashed potatoes? He gazes at her, all hazel and blinking innocence, as if he has never seen her before in his life. If she just turns her head and watches from her periphery vision she can keep her eyes on him too, and she can feel that his unwavering stare is tracing her form.

(She blushes, and tries to fight the redness steadily making its way to her cheeks which just makes it far worse.)

He takes in her copper hair, bright green eyes; the way her lips roll into a pout as she concentrates; the way her delicate fingers tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, the freckle on said ear; her loose fitting robes and shiny black patent shoes.

He's just looking, for now, and although there isn't any hidden agenda, it makes her stomach swirl in equal measures of pleasure and suspicion.

She next feels it at dinner that evening, and this time it is a could you pass the mashed potatoes? but it's from Remus. Lily hands them over with a smile and James wishes he could be on the receiving end of her kindness for just a moment. Lily catches his eye just for a moment and he looks away, embarrassed at having been caught. James turns back to the conversation and Sirius jabs his fork in the air, pointing it at the messy-haired boy.

"Why," he asks, through a mouthful of steak and kidney pie, "are you staring at Evans? You've been goggling at her all day."

James shrugs and shovels a spoonful of peas into his mouth. "Dunno. Don't you think she's kind of - I don't know - nice?" he says.

Peter turns to look at Lily and James elbows him. "Don't look now," he hisses. "How obvious d'you wanna be?"

The other three laugh at the irony of James' statement and he glares at them, returning to his food and stabbing a carrot with an unwarranted amount of venom.

When they have finished dinner the puddings rise up and James reaches for the treacle tart at the same time as Lily.

"Sorry," she says brightly.

He stares at her for a second. "What?" James asks.

Lily frowns at him. "I said sorry. You know, for - we both reached for it at the same time."

(James doesn't quite know how to respond. He's been staring at her all day and now she's talking to him and smiling at him - bloody Merlin, that smile and her kindness is directed at him, this time, not Remus, and -)

"Thanks. I mean, it's okay," he garbles, and pushes the plate over to her, chastising his mouth for speaking without first consulting his brain. He blushes a little. "You - you know."

She thanks him and cuts herself a slice, and by the time he's pulled himself together enough to get his dessert, he's endured at least a whole minute of ribbing from Sirius.

"Shut up," he mumbles, uncharacteristically self-conscious, and he absently stirs his spoon around his bowl. When he looks up, Lily's looking at him, and he swears he can see the faintest trace of a blush on her face but she quickly turns back to her friends.

"You alright, mate?" Peter asks, in response to the grin on James' face.

"Yeah," he says, swallowing a mouthful of treacle tart. "I'm just fine."

a/n: no carrots were harmed in the writing of this chapter. Also this is for Sarah because she's the best.