It took me a moment when I woke the next morning to remember if last night had been real. Before I opened my eyes I breathed in deeply, still smelling Edward on my sheets.

It brought a smile to my face instantly.

The sheets felt cool across my bare hip. I was definitely naked. Therefore, last night certainly had been real.

I thought briefly of our night in the tree house - only the night before. How I'd stopped myself from letting too much happen between us, afraid to expose to much of myself to him. How I'd had to remind myself to calm down and be careful because it was only our first date - no matter how badly I'd wanted him. How I'd realized how deeply I was falling in love with him in that little room in the tree. How scared I was to tell him about me.

'Do this right' I'd said to myself.

'Slow down' I'd said to myself.

And here I was, a day later, naked in bed with Edward Masen. My smile grew wider - imagining the witty praise I would receive from Angela once I got around to telling her.

If someone had asked me three months ago - before I met Edward - whether I would sleep with someone on a first date, I'd have blushed and said no.

But this wasn't just some date. And it didn't feel like a first. It wasn't like that.

It was Edward. The brooding, complicated, gorgeous mess of a human being I'd met in my flower shop back in September. The man I'd tried so hard not to like, but wound up loving instead. The broken boy who was still working at putting his pieces back together. His words last night, his total acceptance of me and my scars...I'd needed to hear it to believe it. To finally trust him completely. To know that it was safe to let myself be loved by him in the way I wanted so badly.

And he did love me. I replayed last night one more time in my head before I turned over to face him and finally opened my eyes.

Only he wasn't there.

Instead my bare arms landed with the crunching sound of paper underneath them. A collage of pale yellow post it notes from my night stand were arranged into one rectangular piece on the bed. On it was a drawing.

It was me.

Stretched out as I'd just been. My bare back to him, my hair a wild mess of curls. The sheets tangled around me. Sketched roughly in pencil, I existed on paper inside a memory of the night before.

I felt a lump form in my throat as I took it in.

I was...beautiful. Is this really how he sees me?

Another glimpse of yellow caught my attention: a post it note with Edward's scrawl across it and a bold arrow pointing to a glass of water and my pill box on the night stand.

"Had to run to let poor Bos out. You were too damn beautiful to disturb this morning. I'll be back with breakfast soon. You'll have to pinch me when you see me so I know you're real. -E"

And then beside the arrow pointing to my meds, it read "Don't forget."

My face split into a wide grin and I fell back against my pillows and giggled. And I continued to smile while I got up, while I took my meds, while I showered. I lathered myself in my favorite sweet smelling soap, remembering each place Edward had touched me last night. As my hands reached between my legs, I realized I was a little sore. I wasn't sure what 'average sized' was but I knew that Edward was anything but average. The discomfort wasn't much though, and it was due more to my less-than-frequent sex life rather than his size.

Actually, I thought he had fit me perfectly. I could feel my face grow warm just thinking about it. And I wanted him again.

I noticed the frost that had crept into each window pane in the apartment and chose a beautiful, soft, slouching grey sweater to wear over a pair of black leggings. I was rather fond of these leggings when I surveyed myself in the mirror. They wrapped tightly around the muscles I'd built from running over the years, elongated my legs and made my ass look rather perky. Angie would be proud. I pulled my hair into a top bun and put on my long bicycle necklace. Put on some vanilla chap stick with every intention of kissing Edward soundly when he came back.

I surveyed myself in the mirror, noticing the new glow in my face, feeling new appreciation for my body. So this was my body on happiness.

I took the post it note portrait from the bed one piece at a time, and reassembled it again on the inside of the medicine cabinet door behind my bathroom mirror, along with Edward's note.

I checked the heat in the apartment, feeling the chill of early December setting in. It was a little after nine in the morning. The weather was a little overcast for a Sunday, but pleasantly so. I was just putting a kettle on for tea when I heard the door bell chime.

I all but flew to the door and hurried down the stairs, anxious to let him in. I could see him through the glass window before he could see me. He had his thick scarf around his neck and a thicker jacket on. A brown paper bag in his hands and a portable tray with two styrofoam covered cups in it. His face was bright and relaxed, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he saw me at the door.

I opened the door and stepped back to let him in, completely unable to get rid of the grin on my face.

"Hi" I breathed, realizing that I needed to get my breathing under control.

"Hi." he smiled.

I shut the door behind him and before I could speak, Edward had caught the hem of my sweater in his hand and pulled me to him, laying his mouth on mine in one seamless movement.

He smelled wonderful. He tasted wonderful. And in a lingering but brief good morning kiss, I was aching to have him again. It was like he'd awoken some part of me that I hadn't been paying much attention to before. It was a whole new level of desire.

I was speechless when Edward pulled away. He chuckled softly and ran his hands through his hair, looking a little bashful.

"Sorry," he said. "It's just...well, I didn't get to do that this morning. I'm sorry I wasn't there, I-"

I reached up and pulled him by the collar to kiss me once more, sliding my tongue along his bottom lip until I could feel his mouth open to me. This was more than just a good morning kiss. It was warm and just wet enough to make my head spin a little. I heard a low groan escape his throat and it made me feel powerful - sexy.

This time it was Edward who was speechless and flushed as we parted.

"You're here now." I said.

An almost smug confidence bloomed in my chest as I smiled and took the brown bag from him, gestured towards the stairs and skipped up them towards my apartment door. I could vaguely hear Edward expel a long breath and start mumbling to himself before he followed me up the stairs.

I loved, loved, loved that I could get him just as flustered as he could make me.

I opened the door and went to the kitchen table, setting down the warm bag and turning off the hot water kettle. When I turned around, Edward was still standing in the door way, leaning with his hip cocked and his arms across his chest, his body weight against the door jam. He didn't try to hide the slow scan his eyes made up my legs, over my ass, my torso, my breasts and then my face. He smirked at me and shook his head before coming to the counter and pulling the paper bag to him, opening it and pulling out it's contents.

"These are the best breakfast wraps in town." he explained, handing me a warm, parchment wrapped package. He checked the labels on each cup before handing me one.

"Coffee for me, chai tea for you." he winked. He'd teased me before about the ridiculous amount of tea in my cupboards, back when he had first started working on my shop front. Cheeky.

"Thank you," I said, humming in delight at the food in front of us.

As he went about unwrapping the food and throwing out the paper scraps, I was suddenly struck with a small bout of nerves. Were we going to talk about last night?

Did we need to? I mean, should we? ...Should I bring it up or should I wait till he does. ...If he doesn't bring it up, does that mean he didn't like it? ...Maybe I was bad in bed... I mean I'm not a pro or anything...

"Come back to me, Bella..." I heard Edward chuckle beside me.

I felt my face flush. My confidence suddenly crippled by my mind. I smiled weakly and took a bite out of my wrap, looking down at the table.

God, Edward wasn't kidding...these are delicious. Despite how amazing my breakfast tasted, it didn't distract me from Edward's eyes, burning curious holes through my forehead.

"Where did you go just then?" he asked.

I took another bite of my wrap.

"These really are amazing..."

"Bella."

"Where did you say you got these?"

"Bella..."

I swallowed a small sip of tea, sweet cinnamon on my tongue. I gave him an apologetic look, as I didn't quite know what to say. Edward had a knack for reading me. That and I'm sure my flaming cheeks were giving away my unease. He sighed and set down his coffee.

"I should have been there when you woke up this morning." he said, raking his hands through his hair.

"Oh, no...that's not...I didn't..."

Wow. Use your words, Bella.

"Bosley needed you, I was fine...it's not a big deal...you didn't miss anything here, I just got up and showered..."

"No, I did miss something." he said. He got up and rounded the counter, placing both hands on my face and locking his eyes on mine. His words were delivered gently, his voice low and intimate. "Missed the chance to tell you how...fucking amazing....last night was. How it's all I can think about. How beautiful you are...How I am one lucky son of a bitch."

We both chuckled. I found myself letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

He placed a kiss on my forehead. "I could see the wheels spinning in your head just then and I just don't want you to doubt last night. Because I certainly don't."

I could only smile and nod happily, my eyes already on his lips. Like magnets, our mouths found each other. This kiss was slow and leisurely, but it simmered at a low heat that I felt in my core.

Now that I'd finally seen him, naked Edward occupied my brain completely.

My hands traveled up and over his shoulders to the base of his neck, the movement making room for his arms to wrap around me.

This. This. So perfect.

Edward hummed gently against my lips once before pulling away to look down at me. His eyes were happy and relaxed, an expression that was rare to his usual emotionally complex gaze. I smiled, knowing that it was me who did that.

"Can I steal you today?" he asked innocently.

"You can." I answered. "Where are we going?"

He didn't answer, only giving me a wicked grin and taking an overly large bite of his breakfast wrap. He winked at me with his stuffed cheeks, wagging his eyebrows until I bust into a fit of laughter.

The air between us was different than it had been in the past. There was no confusion or tension. No mystery we had to solve immediately. Just us. Laughing between delectable bites of warm egg and avocado and cheese. By the time I'd finished my wrap, Edward had popped the tops back on our styrofoam coffee cups to bring them along with us in the car. I threw on my jacket and a scarf, stuffing my mittens in my pockets at Edward's suggestion. He was rather adorable, making sure I was dressed enough for the weather outside. I knew that now I'd told him my medical history, he was extra aware of the factors that might affect me. It would take time for him to adjust to it, as it had me. But watching him worry wasn't bothering me one bit yet.

"You really aren't going to tell me where we're going?" I pretended to complain as I sucked in a breath of cold air and locked the shop door behind us. I turned to face Edward, waiting for me on the curb. I could see his breath in front of him as he smiled at me. Thought it hadn't snowed yet, I had a feeling with the bite in the air that it wouldn't be long.

"Of course not. If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise." he said, rolling his eyes playfully. "Come on," he said, opening the car door for me. "Its warmer in here."

Soon we were cruising into the downtown area and parking on a side street. I recognized the restaurant from the other night just across the way. Plenty of people were out and about in the crisp air. Above the buildings on either side of us, smoke rose into the sky and something smelled...amazing. Stepping out of the car and taking Edward's hand, I could hear the bass of some music coming from close by.

"It's the first Sunday in December. Every year they have a Frost Fest. I thought you might like to see it, being new to town and all." Edward said, winking at me.

I followed him around the corner and suddenly we were smack dab in the middle of a cozy little town festival. I could smell coffee and cinnamon and fresh baked bread. A kettle corn stand was buzzing with little kids just across from us. The block was shut down, tents with food and wine and coffees and crafts lined the road. In the center were contained little can fires, warming people as they walked to see the different vendors.

Every sense was reeling and excited. I loved this. These were the moments I sent extra thank you's to the universe that I was here and alive and I could actually have experiences like this.

"Edward!" I looked up to him, feeling my own happiness beaming from my face. "This is fantastic!"

He squeezed my hand and smiled. Just the fact that we were here together, holding hands...being happy...I was so, so, happy.

Just a few weeks ago I was stuck in limbo with this beautiful man. And now it felt like we were finally...together.

I reached up on my tip toes to kiss him. He hummed against my lips. It was intended to be a short kiss at first, but Edward had caught me by my waist and held me up to him a moment longer, savoring the kiss.

I was certainly not complaining.

"Let's go explore before I change my mind and take you home to my cave." he said in a low voice, giving my ass a tap and making me blush. He laughed and took my hand again, leading us out into the street.

EPOV

I couldn't take my eyes off her. It just wasn't possible.

I'd been to the Frost Fest for years now, and it was like I was experiencing it for the first time. Bella's eyes were wide and child like at every vendor's tent. Each one of them loved her, smiling at her questions and her easy to please nature. All of her senses were working in full force.

Her smile was beaming as she encouraged me to taste and smell and sip and touch. Folk music played on the loud speakers, everything smelled fucking delicious. And the best part was being close to Bella the entire time. Our hands were locked constantly, and if by some chance they weren't, she would lean into my side or play with the hem of my jacket. It was all so foreign and amazing to me all at once. I felt like we were ...a couple.

And I was really more than okay with it. A few weeks ago, this would have scared the shit out of me. There were still a few moments where I felt a panic that I wasn't doing something right, but more and more those moments were no longer noticed. It was just me and Bella, figuring it all out, one day at a time.

And today there was no room for doubt, or insecurity, or bad memories. There was only us. Enjoying a day like normal people. It was important for both of us - to find our normal. It was clear that neither of us had normal child hoods. The festival - especially through Bella's eyes - became a blast for us. We were just a couple of kids all morning, exploring the festival and our time with each other.

Bella's story from the night before was on my mind. I imagined all the things she'd missed as a kid. I shivered at the thought of St Mary's Hospital. I'd only been there a few times but I'd hated it. Spending a few hours there was unbearable, so I could only imagine what having to live there while the rest of your friends got to play outside and go to school was like. I had recognized it a few times now, the child in Bella that would make herself known. There was a joy about her that made it impossible to look away.

And I'd meant what I'd said that morning when I told her that I couldn't stop thinking about last night. Bella had taken up permanent residence in my brain since the day I met her. And now naked Bella...goddamn.

I worked extra hard to control my thoughts as we wandered through the festival. Pieces of the night before were constantly drifting in behind my eyes.

The way she'd asked me to stay.

The way she'd pressed my hand to her scar. The trust in her eyes even as she shook beneath me.

Her breasts, her hips, the taste of her on my tongue.

How it felt to hear her say she loved me.

How it had felt to push my way into her sweet warmth. The way she'd gasped and moaned, panted my name. Her eyes when she came beneath me, around me.

Fuck.

When I'd crawled back into bed with her after we'd made love, she was this incredibly adorable, sexy, sleepy mess in the sheets. Her cheeks as well as her chest were flushed pink. She was asleep in minutes, begging me not to leave.

In that moment, I'd had no fear. No sorrow. No worry or want. I thought those moments were myth. That this was just what humans dreamed about and not actually what life was like. I made myself believe that I didn't need this. I didn't need intimacy. I could live without ever being in love. It was safer that way.

Bullshit. I was so full of bullshit. Now that I knew what this was, I couldn't imagine letting go of it. It hurt too much to even think about it.

I'd slept soundly and without nightmares, and when I woke up, I could have sworn I was sleeping next to a fucking angel. She looked so stunning laying there, better than I'd ever imagined on my own. I had to draw her. I couldn't bear to wake her, to move her from this spot. This spot I was sure I would remember forever.

I'd flown home, knowing poor Bos was probably ready to piss all over the house. He was an early riser and his jolly self waiting for me at the door. When I'd showered and put on clean clothes, I grabbed some breakfast and made it back to Bella as quickly as I could manage.

I'd seen signs up for the festival the week before and knew I had to take Bella. Sunday mornings were a beautiful thing to begin with, but I knew that she would love the fest. But when I got back to her place, the way she had kissed me good morning...

It was lucky we even got out the door. I was more than ready to have her again.

I continued to think that as I watched her bend forward to pick up some change she'd lost while paying for some fresh herbs from the vendor we were visiting. Those leggings hugged her every curve. I was struggling to keep my dick in check all morning long.

We grabbed a few little things to try and found a picnic table in the field across the street to sit with our loot. Some chocolate truffles from the tent on the end, two cups of warm cocoa, honey sticks for me and a cinnamon roll for her - which she insisted we split. It was the size of my palm and covered in gooey icing. Her first bite left her with a nose dipped in frosting.

"I'm so attractive right now." she joked, raising her brow at me. I laughed and swiped the frosting from her nose, tasting it myself. She watched my mouth and smirked. She knew my love of sweet things, it was no wonder she insisted on sharing her cinnamon roll with me.

"Always." I said. Her cheeks grew pink.

It was getting colder out and I knew it would snow soon. I watched Bella slip on a pair of thickly knit mittens and wrap her hands around her cocoa mug. She sat across from me but I felt her feet find mine underneath the table.

"Sweet sundays..." she said softly. "I usually make something sweet to indulge in on Sundays, this was perfectly sweet without actually doing the work. I like it."

"Thank you for this, Edward." she said, linking one mitten with my bare hands. She was so sincere as she looked at me.

"I didn't do anything that special," I argued. "I took you to a festival and bought food with you. That's pretty normal right?" I chuckled. Part of me was joking and part of me was actually curious.

She sighed a deep, content sigh.

"You know, normal is exactly what we needed - don't you think? Days like these make me feel...just so grateful to be alive." she smiled a little shyly.

Keeping my eyes locked on hers, I could only beam at her.

"You're not the only one whose grateful you're alive." I replied.

Damn, that smile.

When we finished eating, we walked hand in hand back through the street and over to where I'd parked. A couple friendly vendors waved to Bella as we left. She talked about entering the festival next year, maybe to sell some winter arrangements. I knew she'd do well at a venue like this. People would love her work. I could feel her press herself into me as the cold began to really set in. Just as we were getting to my car, the first snow began to fall.

We stopped in front of the passenger side door and Bella turned towards me, looking up with a leisurely content smile. Relaxed. Peaceful. Everything about her put me at ease.

Without a second thought I leaned down to capture her lips with mine. I hadn't had enough of this today. I'd never have enough of this. I felt Bella respond, slowly opening up to me, her tongue against mine. I pulled her tight against me, grinning against her mouth as I felt her mitten hands come up around my neck.

I definitely wasn't cold any more. The intensity of our kiss grew, my hands finding their way over her body. She tasted like chocolate and cinnamon. I felt her suck my bottom lip and then gently bite down and I was ready to lose my mind.

"Take me home, Edward." she said against my lips. Her eyes found mine and there was no question or doubt about what she was really asking me.

We were quiet in the car, but the two of us were ticking time bombs with grins on our faces.

Park the car.

In through the front door.

Race up the stairs and into the apartment.

Frantic kisses against the wall, against the door. Bella's legs wrapped around my waist as I carry her to bed once again.

This was different from last night. Bella was playful and sexy, laughing wildly as I curse at her damn leggings, trying to yank them off in one pull. She pulls at my shirt, throwing it to the floor once she manages to get it off. I do the same to her sweater and her bra, leaving her finally bare.

She helps me lose the rest of my clothes and lifts the blankets for me as I slide in beside her. The chill in the apartment sends us seeking refuge in the warmth of her bed. I'm drawn in to the heat of her body, needing it so much closer. I can feel my groin straining as blood courses through me. The thrill of her, the absolute bliss of her touch...it was indescribable how she moved me.

Bella's confidence begins to shine through as she moves her body over mine.

I can feel her warm lips and tongue, even her teeth on my neck as she covers me with her attention. Hot, wet tongue on my chest, over my nipples. Warm, soft flesh under my hands as she molds herself to me.

My cock throbs beneath her, aching for her. My mind is absorbing sensations and colors. The feel of her nipples straining against my chest. Arms around my neck as I hold her to me. Her brown eyes and rosy cheeks above me. Nose to nose.

My hands trail down her back, over her ass and then between her legs. I'm more than pleased to find her ready for me. Her hands have found me too, stroking me to the point where I can't even fucking see straight. All the while her perfect mouth moves over mine. Fluid, full kisses. Deep and intense, making my blood pound in my ears.

"I need you..." she breathes, the two of us already out of breath.

It amazes me, the way she says this and means it. I never thought anyone could need me this way, or any way.

And I need her too. More than she could possibly understand. Slowly, I guide her hips back until I can align myself with her entrance. She reaches down between her legs to stroke me again, this time, sliding my tip along her wet folds. I feel myself let out a low moan, almost a growl.

She'll be the death of me.

I can't even think of the right words to describe the sweet torture I feel as she sinks down onto me. Her wetness, her heat, consuming me and setting every nerve ending on fire. This, combined with the sound of her moaning softly above me. Her eyes fluttering shut as I fill her.

This moment, this first connection before we begin to move - it's incredible.

My hands find her hips as she begins to move. Slow at first, but gradually picking up her pace. She's a vision in front of me. Her hair down now, falling around her flushed face in mahogany waves, her dusty pink nipples, the motion of her hips. I nearly come right on the spot when I see her close her eyes and reach down to touch herself. I'm watching myself disappear inside her as her fingers come to meet me there and I think I might die.

I feel my need grow and I hear Bella yelp when I suddenly flip her over. My cock only leaves her warmth for a moment before I'm inside her again, thrusting at a new pace. The mood had shifted from playful to suddenly real and vulnerable as soon as we connected. I'm on the edge, feeling more than I can process at once. I feel her arms reach for me and her legs widen, giving me even deeper access. I reach down between us, stroking her as I move. I'm almost blind with want, seeing only her, hearing only her. Feeling only her. She's everything and she wants me. Me.

And I don't know why but I know I can't leave this. Leave her. I will never need anyone the way I need her.

"Edward...God...I'm - I'm..."

I watch as her eyes roll back and her body arches upwards. I can feel her walls tighten around me, a new wave of heat consumes me and I'm coming with her. The pleasure of it all only increases as I watch her writhe below me.

I am a lucky son of a bitch. To see this part of her...no one else gets to do this. Only me. Bella is smiling up at me as we both work to catch our breath.

For a split second I wonder about the relationships that came before me. A flash of anger fills my head as I imagine any other man putting his hands on her this way. Involuntarily, my fist clenches the sheets beneath me and I think of James. This need to protect fills me. To protect, to hold on to...to keep from losing her. My eyes trail down her scar and I think of how I had almost lost her before I even had her.

Flashes of hospitals and fear and pain, the panic, the images of my mom. My father's face on the last night he was alive. The loss of it all hits me like a ton of bricks. It's never left me, but somehow its just suddenly there again. I'd brushed the memories aside as Bella had consumed my thoughts, but it was never lost - the ache. I can't bury it with my feelings for Bella, as much as I want to. I knew that it would be time soon, to tell Bella. To trust her, the way she had trusted me.

I feel Bella kiss my knuckles, causing me to automatically release my grip. I find her eyes again. She looks inside of me, concerned but quiet in her observation. She doesn't pry, she only watches me. Her hands find my cheek and pull me down to her. She just knows what I need. She kisses me long and sweet before letting me rest my head on her chest and wrapping her arms around me. I turn my head to kiss the center of her scar and I hear her suck in a shaking breath and squeeze me a little tighter.

She's here. She's alive. And today we were happy. Happy.

"I love you." she whispers to me. And goddamn, for a moment a lump forms in my throat. "I'm not going anywhere..."

I can't even form words, I just hold her impossibly closer.

"Bella - I..." my voice breaks and I swallow hard.

"I know." she quiets me, her hands stroking my hair.

And I know that she just knows.

HIIIIIIIII everybody. Sorry for the wait, my loves. And hello to new readers! I've missed you and I've missed this story. Real life apparently doesn't slow down and I'm terribly sorry I haven't been better at keeping up. I have many plans for these two and I can't wait to share it with you. A lot of you have made some guess as to who was Bella's donor...I have to shut my mouth from answering and save the surprise...I hope you like this so far, I'd love to hear what you think. xoxoxo