nineteen - rotten

"And so, really, Professor, it was his fault all along," James says simply, leaning back in his chair and shrugging.

Lily makes a sound of derision and the older woman is sure her eye twitches in annoyance.

"Don't listen to him, Professor," Lily insists. "Severus was simply walking along to Defence when Potter fell over his big ego -"

"That practically screams Tripping Jinx, Professor -"

"- and decided to blame it on someone else. So, naturally, what could be better than Transfiguring Sev?"

"That is not how it happened, Professor: she must have got hit by a Confundus Charm in the fray. Snape hexed me and I simply raised my wand in case I needed it when he launched a barrage of curses -"

Lily lets out a scathing laugh. "A 'barrage'? I must admit I'm impressed you can use such a big word properly -"

"You're impressed by me, Evans? That's not all I can do."

Professor McGonagall exhales. "Potter. That is inappropriate."

"Sorry. As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, I was only getting ready to defend myself. He was the first to attack."

Lily twists in her seat to face him. "That's a load of rubbish. You and Black - I saw you jinx him. At least three times."

"Evans! Don't be such a tell-tale tit!" admonishes James.

"Potter!" she mocks, and Professor McGonagall rolls her eyes. "Don't be such a dirty rotten liar, then! I saw you. You drew your wand first. It wasn't his fault."

"He hexed me when my back was turned!"

"Oh, boo hoo. You shouldn't have retaliated!"

Professor McGonagall presses her hands into her eyes tiredly but she's inclined to agree with Lily, always the more rational of the pair when it comes to Severus Snape.

"I wasn't retaliating, Evans," James sighs. "I was practising my Trans-Species Transfiguration. That was the point of today's lesson, wasn't it, Professor?" He looks to the teacher for support. "It's not my fault he ended up as a snake."

Lily snorts inelegantly. "You provoked him throughout the whole session today, Potter, simply because you were bored. You haven't a leg to stand on."

James gestures down to his feet and draws his fingers up to his hips. "Legs," he points out childishly, causing their Head of House to purse her lips. If it weren't so juvenile it'd be amusing, but she's sick to death of the pair of them bickering. "Two of them, Evans. Do you need to borrow my glasses?"

This time Lily rolls her eyes. With faux politeness, "No, thankyou: I can see your ugly mug well enough from here without them."

Incredulous: "You're calling me ugly when you spend all your time with Snivellus -"

"ENOUGH!"

They tear their glares away from each other for a moment and see their teacher, gripping her desk with white knuckles. "Merlin give me strength," she cries. "Never, in all my teaching career, have I seen such idiotic behaviour from such intelligent individuals."

She turns to look at Lily. "Miss Evans. You need to learn when to hold your tongue. You may be able to preach from the moral high ground on behalf of Mr Snape, but slights to Mr Potter's appearance will not be tolerated." James looks annoyingly smug, running a hand through his hair and tossing an arm around the back of Lily's seat. She throws him a withering look.

"I'd wipe that smirk off your face if I were you, Potter," McGonagall reprimands. "You, too, have no right to insult Mr Snape's appearance or call him that spiteful nickname. None of the behaviour you have exhibited this afternoon does any credit to your character. It is beneath you, and you should be ashamed of yourself." He does, at least, have the grace to drop the grin.

"He hexed me first, Professor -"

"I do not care whether he hexed you first, Potter. You should know better than to start a duel in the middle of the corridor. You have a responsibility to the younger pupils as a fifth-year and another student ended up in the Hospital Wing as a result of your immaturity." James looks down, embarrassed for the first time. "Detention, Potter. Come to my office tomorrow evening. Miss Evans, watch your step. Don't let Mr Potter rile you, or it'll be detention for you as well. Do I make myself clear?"

The pair murmur assent and stand, James' arm slipping down to Lily's shoulders as they do so. She shoves him away whole-heartedly, muttering about idiots under her breath, and he saunters down the corridor after her, whistling all the way.