Wednesday morning I woke more groggily than usual. My apartment was freezing and my usual easy rising self was not in the mood. I burrowed deeper into the down blanket wrapped around me, still not feeling warm enough. I felt out of balance. Maybe it was because Edward wasn't next to me this morning, or maybe it was because I'd been off ever since the day before last, when all the secrets I'd been dying to know were finally revealed.

And they were horrifying.

I'd sensed it was bad, but I had no idea the kind of pain that Edward had endured for so long. It made sense to me now how stand offish he was toward me when I'd first met him. How long it took for him to trust me, how he felt that there were things about him that might hurt me or scare me, and pushed me away. But above all, it astounded me to know that after all of that...he could love me the way he does. He had always amazed me, but now that I really knew his history, I wasn't just amazed. I was in awe of him. For surviving a hellish childhood, the horrific loss of both his parents in one night, for moving on, growing up, trying to have a life. For his gentleness with me, his protectiveness.

He was a good man. Despite what he believed about himself, it was beyond clear to me he had a deep sense of love, right an wrong, self awareness. I was more in love with him than ever, and wished more than anything that I could ease his grief. It was still so raw. The lack of closure, the incredible guilt and regret...I wanted to lift his burdens from him and had no idea how.

My head had not stopped churning since I left his cottage the day before last. We'd spent the rest of the day together and I'd done my best to hide my worry and concern, trying only to bring some peace back to the day. We'd held each other for a long time in front of the fire, whispering words of love and comfort. Eventually I'd taken his hand and brought him upstairs once more, not knowing how to comfort him more without using my body.

It had been slow, thoughtful, profound, love making. We'd stripped each other of our clothes slowly, eyes still wet and shining with the remnants of tears. I let each touch speak for me.

I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave you alone. I love you.

We held each other like precious stones, gentle and reverently. Kissing every inch, every scar, every nightmare, every memory. When we finally connected, I felt the tears return to me, only to be kissed away by Edward, whose eyes shone like glass, brimming with the same emotions.

"I need you, Bella."

"I need you too."

I kissed him everywhere I could as he moved inside me, thinking somehow my kisses could mark him and protect him from any nightmare that might come, any memory that was too painful.

I couldn't hold him close enough.

His rhythm was steady sure, each thrust an igniting spark until finally I was aflame. He called out for me as he followed me over the edge. His voice, cracking just slightly as he gently rested on top of me. He made to move, thinking he was too heavy, but I held him in place, unwilling to disconnect from him just yet.

"I love you, Edward."

I meant it. I meant it so fiercely I could hardly figure out how to even begin to show him.

I will love you the way you deserve to be loved. I will love you more than anyone.

It was overwhelming how raw it all was. How much it meant to me. We'd fallen asleep afterward, Edward more exhausted than he would let on. I too, was drained emotionally and while worry still nagged at the back of my mind, I drifted to sleep beside him, completely wrapped up in his arms.

When we woke, the heaviness of the morning had lifted a little and Edward convinced me to bundle up and come outside with him. I could see him making a clear attempt to lift both of our spirits a little.

"Where are we going?" I asked, pulling on my boots.

"We're taking care of one of your bucket list items." he said with a grin.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep. You've never built a snowman and that's just...it's ridiculous. So we're fixing that because I don't know if I can date someone who has zero snowman building experience." he shrugged, the hint of a teasing smile in the corner of his mouth.

"Ahh I see, well I guess I should get some experience to put on my resume." I cracked back.

When we were both fully dressed in suitable winter gear - half of which was too big on me as it belonged to him - Edward pulled me outside onto the porch, Bosley barking happily and bounding out into the fresh layer of snow from the night before. We'd gotten at least six inches since the night before and the fluffy white sugar continued to fall from the sky.

Edward pulled me close and kissed my nose.

"Let's just be us today, Bella. You know? Just...play. You deserve a shot at being a kid again." he said softly.

I hummed in appreciation at his thoughtfulness.

"So do you." I whispered, placing a kiss on his warm mouth.

Hand in hand, we headed out into the snow.

And we did play. One successfully built snow man and two snow angels later, we had checked off a piece of my bucket list. And it was fun, it really was. Both of us were trying extra hard to feel joy and we found that in each other. We laughed and teased and ran around the yard. We escaped the world for the afternoon. We played.

But I didn't forget. When we came inside and got out of our snow clothes in the mud room, I spotted the little family portrait on the wall by the baseboards once more. I remembered Edward's face - months ago now - when I'd first discovered it, how he'd shut me out completely. It made sense to me now. Edward never caught me looking at it thankfully, but it brought back an ache from the morning and more questions I knew I had to deal with myself. While my head was a mess, I did notice how much lighter Edward looked to me. I knew from the way he'd behaved all afternoon that finally sharing his past with me had set him free in a way. I'd certainly felt that way once I'd shared my own truth with him.

But what if... There were too many what ifs' in my head. What if one of his parents were my donor? What if I told him we shared an anniversary of sorts, and he started to question everything - just like I was? What if he ended up hating me? Resenting me?

...But what if this was fate?

Was I selfish to hope it was?

I'd left the shop closed that day to spend it with him. After a morning like that there was no way I was leaving him. But the noise in my head became louder as the evening came and I was afraid Edward would notice how uneasy I was. There was something about his story that seemed so familiar to me. Like my brain was trying to find this missing piece or link between us. The curiosity of whose heart I had was still present despite the fact that it was unlikely Elizabeth was my donor.

There was still a chance though...

Without talking to Carlisle and Esme, it would be impossible to know. I couldn't even be sure they had that information. It was certain Edward did not. If he had, it surely would have been at the fore front of his conversation with me. I couldn't even imagine how to ask the Cullens about such a sensitive subject. How would they react?

Towards the end of the evening I had a pounding headache. Edward noticed the pain in my face and took me home. He was beating himself up already thinking he'd kept me in the cold too long. I assured him I was alright, I just needed a shower and some rest. By the time he got me back to my apartment, it had turned into a full blown migraine. I wanted to cry at his gentleness as he helped me up the stairs and into the shower. He didn't even try anything as I stripped down, he just lovingly heated up the water for me, kissed my head and let me shower. When I came out, he'd laid out my meds, a glass of water. The man literally put me to bed, tucking me in and fussing over me entirely too much.

"Are you sure you're comfortable? You're okay?" he said, looking me over again and placing the back of his hand on my head, checking for a fever.

"I'm okay, I promise." I said, wincing a little as my head screamed. I knew my headache was almost entirely stress related, but I'd never tell him.

"Let me turn out the lights." he got up and crossed the room to switch the lights off. The darkness eased the ache behind my eyes. He disappeared for a moment, coming back with a cold compress for my head.

"God, that feels amazing. Thank you." I sighed as he placed it on my forehead, sitting in front of me on the side of my bed. I held his hand to my cheek. "I'm sorry I ruined the evening."

"Are you kidding me? You have nothing to be sorry for. It's my fault. I dumped all that shit on you this morning and then dragged you out into the cold. No wonder your brain hurts." he tried to laugh it off but I could see in his eyes how frustrated he was with himself.

I kissed his palm.

"Hey, I'm okay. Everybody gets a headache once in a while. I wouldn't trade today for anything." I assured him, smiling as best I could.

He leaned down, his lips only a breath away from my own.

"You mean it?" he whispered. I closed the distance between us, kissing him soundly.

"I mean it." I ran my fingers along his hair line. He kissed my hands before tucking the blanket it in tighter. I was starting to shiver a little from the chill in the room and he noticed. My eyes were heavy and my head was commanding my body to sleep. The last thing I remembered was him checking my thermostat and kissing me on the forehead one more time before leaving.

"I love you, Bella."

The next day I'd made sure to get up early and catch up on work. It was good activity that allowed me to think and process more. I'd been given quite a bit of information all at once, and I had my own history to now link to it. Edward had been sending me texts throughout the day. He knew I was busy playing catch up and was checking to make sure I was alright. He told me he'd been hit with some inspiration would be in the studio if I needed him. I let him be.

He explained to me once how absorbed he gets in his work, sometimes disappearing for entire days to just paint or draw. Alice had mentioned it once too. She told me she tries not to take it personally if Edward doesn't get back to her for a day or too. He literally becomes so immersed in it he escapes.

He deserves that. I'd want an escape too.

I gave him a call before bed Tuesday night. I wanted to see him, but my head was still a wreck. We talked a bit and I knew he wanted to see me too. I found myself making up an excuse saying I needed to get up early the next day and I knew he would be up all hours of the night painting. I'd caught him on the phone right in the thick of it. From the excitement in his voice, he'd hit his stride and was consumed by his art all day. I told him to keep at it, that I'd see him soon. He reluctantly let me go. I knew he could feel me distancing myself, he wasn't stupid. I felt guilty lying to him, but I just couldn't get my head together.

One restless nights sleep later and here I was, moping in bed. I still was so absorbed in thought over all of this.

It was mind blowing to even try to wrap my head around what Edward had been through. I imagined losing Charlie. Even the thought of it crippled me with grief. And that was only a small fraction of the grief that Edward has carried with him for ten years.

I found myself angry with Elizabeth. How could she have let this continue? How could she have let Edward get hurt over and over again let alone herself? I remembered Edward saying how engrained the mental abuse was in her. How overwhelming her love for her husband was despite the circumstances.

If it were Edward and I, I wouldn't ever want to give up on him either. But I was not a mother and I had never really known what mother's love truly looked like until only a few months ago when I met Esme. She'd die for her children. I didn't know what it was to feel that yet, but I knew that if anything ever happened...I'd die for Edward.

And at the same time I was angry with Elizabeth, I was grateful to her. She'd instilled in Edward such a great capacity to love and protect. She was huge part of the man he was today. The man I was so in love with. And in the end she did choose him. It was just too late.

I was finally able to pull myself out of bed and get myself to work. I threw myself into the first batch of arrangements, and spent the morning filling out an order sheet for some new greenery and exotics. When I took a lunch break from catching up with orders, I checked my phone.

I had a few missed texts from Edward.

'Our snowman looks amazing, but Bos thinks it's a piss post now. It's bottom ball is lookin' kinda yellow.' -E

I giggled. I felt bad I hadn't gotten back to him. I knew he had begun to notice something was up. We'd been with each other so much lately, it was weird to spend more than a day apart. Last night I had all but blown him off. I knew he could sense my hesitance. His texts gave away his concern.

You doin okay? -E

Then another text two hours later:

'Listen if you need some space I completely understand. I'll be in the studio most of today if you do need me.'

My chest tightened. I had another missed text from Angela. She was coming into town soon. She wanted to spend my transplant anniversary with me. After knowing what Edward had gone through the same night...I didn't feel much like celebrating. He didn't even know our histories shared the date yet. Either way, I knew it would be good to see Ang. I could use a friend.

But I didn't call her. Automatically my fingers started to punch in Charlie's number.

I just...I just needed my dad.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Dad."

"How's my girl?"

I cut straight to the point.

"Edward Masen. Dad, you told me you didn't know him."

"Bells - I..." He paused. I waited expectantly, irritated that he hadn't been honest with me. "I wanted to respect his privacy. You sounded so happy on the phone and I just...it wasn't my story to tell."

"That's surprisingly hands-off of you." I scoffed.

"Well, as much as I hate to admit it. You're a grown woman now Bella. And I trust your judge of character. You don't need your old man interfering in your life so much anymore. From what I remember of Edward, he's a good boy. Troubled, but not a threat to you. If he were, I know you wouldn't pursue it and I would've said something. He's got one hell of a back story, but he's stronger for it. Much like you, baby. I kept up with keeping tabs on him for quite sometime, even after he'd moved. Longer than he probably thinks I did, I bet. He struggled for a bit, but he turned it around. He got his life together."

"How come you didn't tell me you knew him?"

"I didn't want to steer you in any direction. You have to make your own judgments. I myself could hardly judge him for his past. He had been abused for years and I'd never known. Your relationships are your choice, and I know that now. It's been hard for me in the past to accept that. I know Jake and I gave you more than your fair share of interfering. But I don't want you to be alone Bells. Not like I was."

I was so grateful he'd found Sue. I didn't want him to be alone either.

"Also, Sue kind of talked me out of saying anything. Something about letting things bloom where they are planted or somethin..." he laughed. I smiled, knowing full well Sue had a lot to do with Charlie easing up on me and letting me make my own decisions. Especially when it came to men.

"He told me everything, Dad." my voice cracked, as I started to feel tears rise.

"It's not a pretty story, kiddo. And I still only know the case side of it, I can only imagine what he's been through personally. His father's death...the circumstances...Edward had to defend himself. I truly don't believe he killed his father in cold blood. The signs of struggle in the house and the bad shape Edward was in afterwards were enough evidence that the fight was extremely physical. Not to mention the way his mother died. Marcus Masen was not a good man - not when he did that. I could barely get a few words out of Edward when I did see him. He was still in a haze of shock. Confused. Disoriented. But he had a lot of good in him. And the Cullens are a good family. I knew he'd be in good hands."

"So, you already knew Carlisle and Esme?" I remembered vaguely introducing them at the hospital gala.

"I'd met them briefly. I was still in and out of the hospital with you at the time and I wasn't the officer handling the case. I don't think they recognized me at the gala. At the time I'd met them, they were planning a funeral and handling the legal work involved. It was a mess. You were in recovery when I'd checked into the station about a week later and got updated on current cases by my guys. Edward's case stood out to me. He was sixteen, young like you. And I just felt pulled to offer a hand and keep him in sight. We'd just been given a miracle for you, and this boy had lost everything in the same day. I felt...like I owed him some how."

"I can't even believe how crazy this all is. Dad, I'm nervous that...I'm nervous that maybe I have his mother's heart...or his fathers...this all happened the same night as my transplant. What if..."

"She was dead at the scene before Edward even found her, baby. Too much time had passed for any of her organs to be usable. And from what I know of Marcus Masen, I know enough to confidently say he was not a man who would sign up to be an organ donor. There's no way. Neither of them could have donated to you. Honey, you can't over think this, you'll stress yourself out and get sick over it and I won't have that. You have something good going in your life. Don't let irrational fear destroy it. Your donor was in that bus accident that night, God rest their soul."

A wave of peace and relief washed over me. I felt like I could breathe again. Dad was right. He always was. Everything he was saying made sense.

"I really...I just...I really love him, Dad." I breathed, feeling emotions rise to the surface again.

"Then he must be doing something right." he laughed. "I'm happy for you, honey. Now let yourself enjoy it, Bella. Stop worrying and let yourself live. I'm assuming Edward knows about your past as well?"

"He does."

"So it's safe to say things are pretty serious..."

"Yes. He's...he's different, Dad." I sighed. I felt a weight lift from me, my father's wisdom setting me free with relief.

"When am I meeting him again? I mean, I trust you, but...if I need to put the fear of God in him I will."

I laughed and felt whole again.

After hanging up with him, I immediately called Edward, needing to hear his voice. I didn't want to put it off a minute longer. I was flooded with relief and my worries were put to rest significantly. I needed him.

He didn't answer his phone, so I figured he was caught up in his work.

Screw it.

I usually didn't drive unless I really had to. Something about being on the road made me uneasy. Luckily, when I moved to Riverdale, I was in walking distance of just about everything I needed. But with the winter now in full season, and the distance to Edward's house, I knew I needed a vehicle to get around. Unfortunately, my vehicle was the flower delivery truck. The goofy little green thing was endearing in it's own way, but hardly a sexy car.

I threw myself together as quickly as I could, flipped the closed sign on my front door, grabbed my bag, and dashed out through the snow to the back of the building. It was frigid out and I impatiently scraped off the truck, anxious to get to Edward. It was like this dark cloud had lifted from me, I could finally think clearer, and all I wanted was him. I was done mentally toiling for the day.

I was at Edward's within ten minutes.

I jumped out of the truck as soon as I'd parked, not even bothering to lock it as I ran towards the back porch door. I flew up the steps and knocked on his door.

No answer. No sign of Bosley either.

"Edward?"

My heart sank. His car was in the driveway, but there was no sign of him at the house.

I peeked around the edge of the porch, wondering if I was missing something. Just when I was starting to get nervous, I heard Bosley barking in the distance.

I turned around to see him scurrying down the boat dock to come and see me. I looked to the boat, spotting Edward's copper top head pop up.

I hurried down the porch steps, over the pebbled beach and to the pier, greeting one happy dog and catching a breath taking grin from one handsome man. I saw the happy surprise on his face as he came up from the lower level of the boat. It looked as if he was in the middle of winterizing the vessel. Half of the top cover was rolled out on the bow.

It wasn't a yacht, but it was a sturdy boat with enough room for a top deck and a small cabin underneath. The paint was a pale grey blue and white. Thick black letters with the name Elizabeth, bold and emblazoned on it's side. I'd never noticed that before. When I came to the boat, I had to take a deep breath. Just looking at Edward, there was so much I wanted to say but somehow couldn't.

I felt my stomach tighten as I watched his breath cloud in the cold air. He was wrapped in a thick scarf and his black winter peacoat. His hair was it's usual perfect disarray. His jeans were splattered with paint.

"Bella?" He was happy to see me, but I could see some hesitance in his face too.

I'd never replied to his texts.

"Permission to come aboard?" I asked breathlessly. Suddenly I was nervous. I'd pulled back in the last day and a half, and I'd be stupid to pretend he hadn't noticed. It didn't seem like much time, but for us it was an obvious draw back on my part.

He smiled softly and climbed up onto the top deck, stretching his arms out to bring me on board. As soon as his hands found mine, I felt myself breathe again. Without missing a beat, I stepped on to the boat and immediately wrapped my arms around him tight, almost knocking him backwards.

"Hi-whoa..." he chuckled at my forwardness, but I felt his arms encircle me. His lips met the top of my head. We took a deep breath at the same time. My cheek felt warmer against the gentle scratch of his wool coat.

I'd planned out a rough, rather lengthy apology in the truck on the ride over, but when I pulled back and looked into those striking green eyes, my speech was out the window.

"I'm sorry." I whispered simply, gently holding his face with both mitten covered hands. "I've been far away since the other day."

He shrugged. "You came back. That's all I need." he said simply, smiling at me.

"You shared everything with me and I just-"

He stopped me, his fingers on my lips.

"You listened. Held me. Cried with me. Made love to me. Bella...you." he paused to look me over, his eyes dancing over my face. "You're everything to me. And this is a lot...I know it's a lot. And if you needed time, if you still need time I completely-"

It was my turn to cut him off. But I did so with my mouth.

I kissed him hard. So soundly. So fully. I did not want a single ounce of doubt in his mind about how much I didn't need time. I just needed him.

"Bella I -"

"Shut up." I silence him once more. My favorite thing in the world to do was kiss Edward Masen and he was interrupting me. I kissed him until I felt dizzy, foregoing air. I kissed him deeply, with every ounce of I love you and I'm sorry that I could muster in a kiss. When I finally did take a breath, I looked up into his eyes to find him dazed and heavy lidded, green eyes suddenly darker.

I thought for a moment then, that maybe I should tell him we shared an anniversary. He was honest with me, I should be honest with him.

"I don't need time, Edward. I thought I did, but I should tel-"

This time he silenced me.

The warmth of his mouth.

His tongue.

The pressure of his hands on my back and in my hair. His arms so completely surrounding me.

We broke apart, breathless. Without his mouth on mine for even a moment, I felt cold again. He lifted his hand to sweep my hair back and placed his palm on my neck, his thumb stroking gently along my jawline. Eyes only on me, running over my eyes, my cheeks, my mouth...

"Would you like the grand tour?" he asked with a smile.

"Aye, aye, Captain." I laughed.

He kissed me once more before whistling for Bosley, who perked up on the dock. Never letting go of my hand, Edward opened a compartment and rustled around until he found a large piece of rawhide. Bosley jumped on board and settled down on his belly with the treat.

"Good boy. Stay here." he instructed quickly with a smile, before leading me down into the cabin.

We walked past a tiny bathroom door into the main room, the short walkway cramped. Edward and I both had to hunch down as to not hit our heads. Down two more quick steps into the bedroom and there was a little more headroom available. Edward let go of my hand to close the door and let me look around.

"Uh, yeah. This is it. Home away from home, I guess." he said, raking his hand through his hair.

The bed took up the majority of the space, covered in an inviting looking flannel comforter and fleece throw. Soft pillows and jersey knit sheets so gentle to the touch. It was homey and inviting. I wanted to be in that bed as soon as I saw it - preferably naked and with Edward...also naked.

A small pull out table and kitchenette had already been packed away to the left of the bed. Two round port hole windows on either side of the room let in streams of pale, afternoon light. It was a tiny little cabin, but it was perfect.

Edward stood in the corner by the door, stuffing his hands in his pockets and watching me. He kicked a small space heater to life in the corner of the room. I'd wandered to the right side of the bed, stopping to look out the port hole window before I'd turned around and caught him staring. He smiled at me, almost bashfully at first, but then his stare became something else. Something I recognized. All at once the room was charged with a familiar electricity.

Of all the things I'd planned to say, I knew now that neither of us needed to say a thing to understand what was about to happen.

I was going to have him on this boat. And he knew it too.

It was all communicated in one long look.

I smiled softly at him, dropping my bag by the window. Never losing his gaze, I reached down to unzip my boot and throw it off the side. Then the other. I thought I saw his adams apple bob as I took off my coat and started to unbutton my cardigan. I felt the boat bob gently beneath me.

Piece by piece I undressed. At first, Edward stayed put, only watching. The expression on his face made warmth pool between my legs. It was equal parts desire, love, and...something else.

Gratitude. When he looked at me, I felt like the most valued thing in his world. But in his gaze there was also an undertone of unadulterated lust that had me weak in the knees.

He was like a statue watching me, so still in the corner of the cabin. But the hum of the energy in the room despite his stillness was enough to make my cheeks flush. I had only a split seconds doubt, wondering if I was embarrassing myself. But by the time my breasts were bare and I was reaching the top button of my jeans, Edward moved, raising a hand, gesturing for me to wait.

In three strides he was in front of me, his bare hands on my hips, pressing me to him.

"I want to do that." he said in a low voice.

His forehead rested on mine and his eyes closed. An almost pained expression knit in his brow, his jaw clenching and unclenching. It was his I-want-you-so-badly-face that made my breath catch. My heart was fluttering in my rib cage. Our noses brushed, lips so close. Only a breath away. It was the almost kiss, the lingering moment where all you can do is touch and caress and breathe each other in before you fall over the edge.

Dragging my hands slowly up his chest, I found the buttons on his coat. I finally captured his lips as it fell to the floor behind him. A moan escaped my mouth as the kiss grew and our tongues met. I could feel the goose bumps break out on my skin. His kiss was so dizzyingly consuming that I could only think...there is nothing better than this. I don't want anyone but him.

He ditched his shirt, instantly wrapped me in his arms, and pulled my chest flush against his own. I felt my nipples stand at attention and I knew he did too, as a deep groan resonated in his throat at the contact. I could not get enough. My mouth found his neck and collarbone. His hands were in my hair and splayed on my back. Mine were running along the expanse of his shoulders and down his chest.

Pulling me impossibly closer, I gasped as I felt his hand travel over my right breast so gently, hands cool from the winter outside. His hands meandered down my stomach and towards the warmth between my legs. His mouth was on my neck when he finally cupped me through my jeans. My breathing stuttered and I couldn't keep the soft moan in my chest to myself.

In one graceful movement, Edward eased backwards, sitting on the edge of the bed in front of me, never letting go of my hips. I stood in between his legs as he covered my stomach in warm, languid, kisses. The heat of his mouth on my body sent chills up my spine. I felt his hands find the zipper on my jeans and pull it down. His thumb lingered over my panties for a moment, rubbing over the fabric just over my clit. His other hand was on the small of my back, pulling me closer as he continued to kiss my middle.

My hands raked through his hair and I heard a low growl come from his chest. He looked up at me, his chin resting on me and his green eyes alight. The corner of his mouth lifted in that small, crooked smile and he shimmied my jeans off me and to the floor. His hands running down the length of my legs as they fell.

I pushed on his shoulder until he laid back on the bed, pulling me with him until I was straddling him. I smiled as I leaned down to cover him with my body, needing his lips again. I felt his hands on my back moving down to my ass. I ground my hips down against him. I could feel him underneath me, hard and straining against his jeans. My hands came between us to unfasten his zipper.

Between the two of us, we wriggled him out of his jeans and underwear. Once he was bare, he wasted no time in sliding me out of my panties and pulling back the covers for us to get underneath. The space heater was starting to work, but the room still held a chill. I could see his skin covered in goosebumps too.

We laid on our sides, facing one another as he pulled the flannel comforter over us. I was freezing and nuzzled into his neck, continuing to kiss him along his jaw. His hands trailed down my thigh until he reached just behind my knee, hiking my leg up over his hip. I could feel the wetness building between my legs. I needed him.

Covering his mouth with mine, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer until I could feel him between my legs. We both gasped at the contact, the warmth.

"Baby...I..." he breathed. My heart swelled hearing him call me this and I kissed him again. I couldn't stop touching him. When we pulled away for air, he lowered his head to pull one straining nipple into his mouth. As his mouth worked, his hand came around the thigh pulled over his hip, to touch me where I needed him the most. Cool fingers rubbing against wet, heated, folds, and a bundle of nerves screaming for more.

I felt my hips begin to roll against him in rhythm, aching for the friction I needed. Aching to feel him. My hands touched every part of him I could, not feeling right unless his skin was underneath them. It was this dance, our bodies pushing and pulling, mouths and hands, the sway of the boat giving the room even more of a pulse.

I thought I might explode.

He pulled away for a moment, nose pressed to mine, the two of us panting. His fingers still sliding along me, making me writhe against him.

"I know it's only been a day or two, but goddamn." he breathed, "I missed this. Does that make me pathetic?" he chuckled a little.

His thumb pressed a tight circle around my clit. I sucked in a gasp, feeling my hips jerk in response. Edward groaned, watching me.

"No..." I panted. "What it makes is two of us." I smiled, reaching between us to wrap my hand around him.

"Bella..." he sighed, bringing his mouth to mine again.

Our warm bodies seemed to bleed together, disappearing in each other. Surfacing from the all consuming current only to breathe. Holding each other so tightly, pressing, rubbing, touching.

I couldn't stand another moment waiting for him to have me.

"Edward, p-please...I can't wait, I need you." I breathed, barely enough air in my lungs to get the words out. I pushed my hips forward, feeling his length between my legs.

"Fuck..." I heard him groan. I could feel him push back with his hips, his cock sliding along my slit. He reached down between us to align himself with me.

Once the tip of him had found me, he paused to wrap me up tight in his arms, eyes locked on mine. Slowly he pushed himself deeper. He never looked away from my eyes, searching them for response as my body molded itself around him. The two of us, on our sides, facing one another, joined.

This. This was what being complete felt like.

My hands wound their way through his hair as I rested my forehead against his, gasping as I felt him pull out and re-enter me. I lifted my leg higher around his waist, granting him more access as he moved. His pace was slow and deep at first, hands on my back and hips, mouth finding my breasts once more. My head fell back against the pillows as his tongue moved in circles around my tight nipples. His thrusts became stronger and quicker.

Between the motion of us and the motion of the boat, I felt weightless as Edward rolled me to my back. My knees widened and came up higher, the rest of me wanting more of him deeper still.

I never stopped kissing him, not if I could help it. Although, I felt myself becoming louder as the pace increased. There was no modesty or control over the noises he brought out of me. My hips pulsated towards his, and my stomach jerked as I felt the tightening in my stomach begin.

"Edward...fuck, I..." words escaped me.

His rhythm was mesmerizing to watch. Hips moving in such a perfect way, muscles contracting and letting go. Time meant nothing. Everything just continued to build and build between us. Needing more... always needing more. I could feel my body anticipating what was about to happen. My core tightened as I felt my release just within reach.

Suddenly, he pulled out of me, leaning back on his knees. I whimpered at the loss of contact. But the sight of him there...naked, glistening, breathing heavily, his cock standing at attention, kneeling between my legs...

I all but screamed as he lifted my hips off the bed and to his awaiting mouth. One long stroke of his tongue straight up the center of my folds. Kisses along my thighs and pelvis...I was coming undone.

His mouth continued to work me until I was shaking, on the very precipice of release. I vaguely understood that I was cursing and moaning. My breath was ragged and my abdomen jerked and tightened again. So close.

Sensing this, he let loose his grip on my hips, bringing them back down to the bed. Not even a breath later and he was inside me again. This time, moving faster and harder. I held on to him tightly, cheek pressed to his. My legs wrapped around his waist, encouraging his pace. I felt his muscles begin to twitch and tremble. My own were doing the same. I could feel how close he was. He had only to let go and I knew I would follow him over the edge.

Lips just next to his ear, I could barely breathe the words out.

"E-Edward...I'm going to come..."

I knew he never expected the dirty phrase from me by his response. A loud groan answered me, followed by another increase in pace, the two of us almost frantic.

"Shit...Bella..."

A shudder ran through me as I felt it, taking both of us at the same time. Sound erupted from my mouth as I came, hard. I had no control over my muscles jerking and twitching with orgasm. Edward's face was inches away, brows knit, the vein in his neck standing out as he felt it all with me, finally releasing. He never stopped watching me, and I could do little to keep myself from watching him too.

Edward Masen in orgasm was a sight to see. Jaw taught, eyes blazing. The low growl in his chest rumbling through me. The blankets had fallen off of us, exposing us both completely. We certainly were not cold any longer.

Good, God.

I felt absolutely useless, unable to put much effort into moving. My legs were still spread wide around him, my head had fallen back on the pillow. Edward leaned over me, hands on either side of my shoulders, holding himself up above me. I closed my eyes for a moment, a smile on my face. I could feel him watching me.

"Jesus Christ." he whispered, his breathing still coming back to normal. "Watching you come has got to be my favorite thing in the whole world."

I opened my eyes to see him smiling down at me. He leaned forward, placing kisses on my breasts softly - still teasing me a little as his tongue flicked over my nipple here and there. He pulled out of me and I moaned again at the loss of him. He settled down to rest his head on my rib cage, his fingers blazing trails over my breasts and down my scar.

We were silent for a few minutes, basking in the little glow we'd created.

"Why do you keep this a secret?" he asked softly, curiously. "Why hide this?"

I sighed, running my fingers through his hair.

"I never wanted to be treated like the sick kid." I explained honestly. "I don't want pity, or sympathetic looks. I guess I just...don't want to be seen as weak. I've spent a long time being labeled as a fragile girl and I don't want that to be what defines me."

He listened to me intently, but his expression challenged me. He was quiet for a moment before he spoke.

"When you first told me, I didn't for a second, see you as weak. In fact the opposite is true. I knew you were a fighter. A survivor. It absolutely defines you - but not in the way you believe people perceive you. If I were you, I would wear it with pride."

I felt a lump form in my throat. Somewhere deep down I knew he was right. Maybe my fear of what others would think was completely off. Maybe it was an unnecessary secret to carry. But it was more than just that. It was a fear that had been rooted in me a long time ago.

"But...it's why she left. My mom. I didn't want...I don't want people to leave." I was trying not to cry. Edward pulled his body up over mine until his face was right in front of me. A traitorous tear made its escape down my cheek.

"Not true." Edward said softly, as his thumb swept the tear away. "She left because she was a fucking blind idiot. She couldn't see what was in front of her because she could only see herself. I see you, Bella. I see you and there is nothing weak or helpless about you. And I'm not going anywhere."

He leaned down to kiss me and I smiled against his warm mouth.

"You know, you are the same thing to me Edward. A survivor." I said as we parted again. His eyes became vulnerable.

"And even though I know you don't want to hear it again, I'm sorry I distanced myself yesterday. It wasn't because of you, it was me. I'm baffled by what you've been through...and how much love you are capable of in spite of it all. You amaze me everyday. I just didn't know how to process all of it at once."

I took a breath, ready to tell him why. Ready to tell him that our pasts shared one very significant date.

But before I could, the sound of Bosley's keening whine outside the door caught our attention. Edward let out a long breath and smiled at me.

"If he stays on the boat too long he gets sea sick." Edward said with a humorous grin. He kissed me forehead. "Bella, I love you. And it's okay. Everything is okay."

I let out the breath I was holding and laughed as I watched him get up and start to put his pants on. There would be another time. I replayed my father's voice on the phone, telling me to enjoy what I have in my life. To not stress so much.

I certainly enjoyed my afternoon.

"Oh, I'd say everything is more than okay after what you just did to me." I laughed. I wrapped the sheet around me and came up on my knees in the bed, wound my arms around his shoulders where he sat on the bedside and kissed his neck.

His grin was beaming and just a hint smug.

"Oh yeah?" he chuckled.

I'd never really considered myself sexy until I'd started dating Edward. And the more time I spent with him the more confident I became. Each time, testing the waters just a littler more. I loved to see his reactions, to gauge what he liked most. I was getting to understand myself so much better in the bedroom. And as it turned out, I may have discovered a tiny inner sex goddess. Once in a while, I was confident enough to let more and more of her out.

Nibbling on his ear a little, I whispered, "You're welcome to fuck me like that any time you like, Masen."

I giggled first at myself and then at the way his ears turned red. He let out a breathy sigh, turned to look at me.

"You can be sure I will." he answered with a lust laced tone. He turned to press his nose to mine, inches away from a kiss. "If it weren't for Bos, I'd have you again...right now."

Please. Please, do.

I kissed him, taking my time to savor every bit of his taste. Determined, selfishly, to keep him in bed. It was my cell phone this time that interrupted us.

I groaned and Edward let out a sigh. Bosley cried outside.

I kissed his nose and leaned across the bed to pull my cell phone from my bag. It was a text message from Alice.

"It's your sister." I said. "I forgot I'd promised to go dress shopping with her tonight for Esme's Christmas party on Friday. I have to go meet her."

"God, I can't believe we're actually going to that thing. Do we really have to?"

He pulled his shirt over his head and I searched the floor for my panties.

"You know how happy Esme will be to see you."

He grunted in response, locating my underwear with a sly smile. He came to hand them to me but before I could take them, he was helping me step into them and watching me with dark eyes as he slid the thin fabric up my legs.

"Besides...a new dress usually calls for new lingerie. Don't you want to know what I'll be wearing?" I said with an innocent smile.

I dropped the sheet from my chest to emphasize my point, flashing him a look at my bare breasts before turning to find my the rest of my clothes.

I grinned as I heard him growl behind me.

The two of us finished dressing and went up to top deck to relieve poor Bosley, who looked just about ready to hurl. Edward knew the boat would be warmer for him while we were on board, but didn't want to keep him on it too long. With a few minutes walk on the solid beach, Bos was back to his normal waddle and up to the porch to get warm inside. Edward walked me to my car, dragging out our goodbye with long kisses that made it almost impossible to leave.

Two more texts from Alice, and I knew I had to get going. I watched him stand at the end of his driveway in my rear view mirror, smiling with eyes on me until I'd turned out of sight and around the bend.

Thank you guys for sticking with me! And thank you for the kind reviews and any interest you've taken in this story. I appreciate the feedback so much. There is much more to come. I love this story and have much more in the works for our Bella and Edward. Hope wherever you are, you are having a wonderful day.