It was well into night by the time Tracy helped everyone home or to the hospital wing. She walked slowly to Tori's room with a pack on her shoulders and knocked on the door. The metal clanged hollowly. Seconds later Tori opened the door and looked Tracy up and down.
"Uhm, hello?" She said suspiciously.
"I'm here to check on Jade." Tracy told her. Tori nodded and stepped back. Tracy entered the small room and shrugged the pack off her shoulders.
"I brought you both something to eat, but I'd rather not wake her." She dug through her bag and pulled out two containers.
"Thanks." Tori set both containers on the bench beside her. She glanced worriedly at Jade who looked as if she had been crying for hours. The skin around her eyes was red and swollen.
"How is she?" Tracy questioned.
"Awful. She didn't stop crying until she fell asleep." Tori answered. Tracy acknowledged her with a bob of her head as she looked over Jade.
"I need you to eat that before I leave." Tracy gestured toward the Styrofoam boxes. Tori picked up the first one.
"Okay." She began to eat the cold chicken sandwich and Tracy watched her from the other side of the room.
"You look so much like your sister." Tracy told Tori and she froze mid-chew and swallowed the bite roughly.
"You know my sister?" She asked fearfully. Tracy nodded.
"We were close friends at HA." She said. Tori relaxed slightly.
"Yeah, well, you wouldn't like her now." Tori replied. Tracy's brows furrowed.
"Why?" She implored.
"She's changed. She is cold-hearted and cruel. She kills people and I refuse to let her protect me because she doesn't care about anyone else. She thinks the ends justify the means." Tori responded darkly before returning to the sandwich in her hands.
"You don't really believe that do you?" Tracy frowned.
"Of course I do, she may be my sister but she is willing to murder in order to reach her goals." Tori sighed. "Other people are worthless to her unless they can do something for her." She finished angrily. Tracy leaned against the wall.
"You haven't seen her in a while though, right?" Tracy reasoned.
"It doesn't matter. When I stayed with her for one week she ordered the deaths of twenty people." Tori answered.
"I'm sure she had a reason." Tracy tried to justify.
"There is no reason!" Tori stood up. "Look, I know she was your friend, but if you got in her way she would kill you." Tracy chewed on the inside of her cheek to keep from making an outburst.
"Wow, I didn't know, I would never expect that from Trina." She moved away from the wall. "You should get some rest." She advised and Tori nodded.
"Yeah, sure." She agreed. Tracy pulled her pack on and left Tori alone with slumbering Jade. Tori sighed with exhaustion and slipped into the cot. Jade shifted and wrapped her arms around Tori.
XxXxXxXxX
It took two days for Tori to convince Jade to get out of bed. She spent most of her time sleeping but every few hours she would wake up and cry. Tori held her and tried to soothe her.
"It's going to be okay." She assured. Jade shook her head.
"You don't understand, Cat told me to do something and I just don't know if I can." She wiped at her cheeks.
"What is it?" Tori asked.
"I can't tell you!" Jade rested her head on Tori's shoulder, "and that's the problem."
"I don't understand." Tori said.
"I feel so bad because it's her last wish and I can't even do it for her." She sighed heavily.
"There has to be a way for you to do whatever it is. She wouldn't ask you to do something impossible." Tori said. Jade laughed without humor.
"She might as well have, but that is also the problem. It isn't impossible but I don't want to do it because I am afraid." She said seriously and sat up.
"Well I can't help you until you tell me what it is you need to do." Tori said exasperated. Jade stared at her. Suddenly she hooked her hand around Tori's neck and pulled her forward and kissed her.
"I love you." Jade told her after she backed away. Tori stared at her blankly.
"What?" She asked.
"I love you, and I've loved you for a long time. It almost killed me that I couldn't find you after the bombs were dropped." Jade said in a hushed voice and she started to cry again.
"Oh Jade." Tori murmured sympathetically.
"I understand if you don't feel the same way. I just had to tell you because I promised Cat." Jade sighed.
"It would be a lie if I told you I didn't love you, but is now the time to be in love?" Tori questioned. "I mean, we need to focus on being alive." Jade shook her head.
"Tori, I lost Cat, my parents, everyone; without you, I'm not sure I want to be alive." She inhaled. "I know that seems serious and sudden, but seeing what happened to Cat, seeing how fragile our lives are, I just-" she was speaking faster and faster and Tori pushed her hand against her mouth.
"Shhhhh." Tori hushed her. "It's okay. I love you and you love me and that's all that matters right now." She assured. Jade nodded her head, eyes wide and silent as Tori's dropped from her face. Jade took a shaky breath and the tears continued to fall.
"Thank you." She whispered and wrapped her arms around Tori's waist. Tori rubbed Jade's back and she fell asleep again.
On the third day Tori got Jade out of bed by reminding her that she had to give Cat's message to Robbie. When they entered the group's room they found Robbie lying face down on his cot.
"Robbie?" Tori's soft voice floated over to him and he groaned.
"Go away."
"Robbie I have to tell you something." Jade slowly walked over and sat on the cot beside his.
"I'll get the generator working; I just don't want to get out of bed ever again." He grumbled. Jade stared at the back of his head awkwardly thinking of how to say what she needed to say.
"Cat loved you." She blurted out. Robbie shifted onto his side and looked up at her through raw eyes.
"What?" He croaked.
"She wanted me to tell you, she loved you." Jade reiterated. Robbie's face crumbled as he began to sob.
"Why couldn't she just tell me when she was alive?" He moaned and pulled on his hair in anguish.
"I – I can't tell you, but, she loved you so much Robbie. And she loved you in a very Cat way." Jade sighed. He buried his head back in his arms as his body shook with the force of his grief. Jade swallowed the lump in her throat and Tori watched from the doorway as she stood from the cot and placed her hand on Robbie's back. Tori thought it was the first time Jade willingly touched Robbie in her life.
"It's going to be alright." She encouraged halfheartedly.
"I don't believe you." Robbie replied when Jade reached the doorway.
Jade and Tori walked to the East Tunnel and Jade pointed at a door that was painted different shades of red and pink.
"I need you taking over for Cat starting tomorrow." Jade said quietly. It was hard for her to even say the girl's name.
"What did she do?" Tori asked staring down the darkened hallway. The children had the past few days off from school.
"She took care of all of the kids under four. She ran the daycare." Jade sighed and drifted to the door. She pressed her hand against the rough metal.
"She loved the kids so much." Her fingertips traced the line of paint that had dripped over the doorknob before drying. She twisted the knob and pushed the door open. She flicked the light on and glanced around the room. The last time Jade had been in the daycare room Cat had been reading a book to the kids. She remembered her laughter and the red head begging for her to join them. She had been too busy. And now she would never see her again. She would never hear her laugh.
She didn't realize she was crying until Tori intertwined their fingers.
"Tell me you love me." Jade whispered.
"I love you." Tori said.
"Never let me leave without saying it. If anything happens, the last thing I want to be from our lips is that we love each other." She said quietly as the tears slipped down her cheeks. Tori squeezed her hand.
"I love you, Jade." She repeated. Jade smiled sadly.
"I love you too." She exhaled shakily.
Two Days Later
Tracy had visited Jade and Tori often. Some heat had finally filtered into the tunnels and she wore a pair of cargo paints with the legs hacked to her knees to form shorts and she tied her jacket around her waist. She treated Tori's healing neck wound and removed the stitches. She made sure that both girls were eating all of their meals everyday and that Tori was gaining weight correctly.
After her daily visit Jade slipped her feet into a pair of combat boots angrily.
"What's wrong?" Tori questioned.
"I have to punish someone today, they betrayed my trust." Jade replied.
"Who?" Tori yanked a comb through the tangles in her hair. She promised herself that she would tell Jade to take her to the river after work that night.
"You'll know soon enough. I've got to get going." She stood up and opened the door.
"I love you." She smiled.
"I love you." Tori answered and blew her a kiss. Jade closed the door behind her and Tori wondered who she would be taking up Aboveground today as she buckled the heavy-duty watch onto her wrist.
She exited the room and walked briskly to the East Tunnel where she had to open the daycare center so that parents could drop of their children and go to work. A petite woman with a sleeping baby in her arms and a toddler sitting at her feet was waiting at the door for her when she arrived.
"Hi Harry." Tori waved at the little boy before opening the door to the room and flipping the switch. The light flickered into life and the boy walked into the room. His mother was always early before other kids because she had to go out with the hunting crew. She handed over the baby and thanked Tori before running off in the opposite direction. Tori shifted the sleeping boy in her arms and sat on the rocking chair in the corner of the room as she watched Harry push a toy truck across the floor.
Meanwhile
Jade stomped into the Wing and yanked Tracy out into the hall.
"What are you doing?" Tracy exclaimed. Jade ripped the sleeve of her off-white doctors' jacket up her arm. A crudely inked tattoo in the shape of a "T" with a line through the middle stood out on her arm.
"Fuck you!" Jade seethed. "I trusted you!" She grabbed her and started pulling her out of the Wing.
"I can explain!" Tracy said fearfully.
"I always wondered where you went, how could I be so stupid?" Jade started to jerk her up the stairs of the main Subway exits.
Jade yanked Tracy up the stairs and out into the dusty sunlight.
"You go to her, because you are no longer allowed in the tunnels." She said forcefully.
"You need a doctor!" Tracy insisted smugly.
"We will make do." Jade said.
"Oh, will you?" Tracy and Jade both turned to find Trina holding a gun at them.
"Trina, what are you doing?" Tracy asked, her voice shaking.
"Getting my way." Trina answered. "I cannot wait any longer. I want to get my sister back."
"You cannot just kill Jade to get your way." Tracy said.
"Oh, can't I?" Trina cocked her gun.
"You wouldn't." Tracy maintained.
"Tracy, move out of my way." Trina told her waiving the gun slightly.
"No, I can't let you do this." Tracy stood in front of Jade.
"You think you're going to stop me?" Trina laughed. "You simply hinder me." She pulled the trigger. A shot rang out and Tracy fell back into Jade. Red started to spread across the front of her grey tank top and Jade set her on the ground.
"Why are you doing this?" Tracy coughed trying to find Trina with her eyes.
"Because your usefulness has run its course." Trina aimed the gun at Jade.
"Stand up and back away from her." She instructed. Jade looked up from Tracy's frightened face with rage in her eyes.
"I will not let her die alone." Jade growled. Trina rolled her eyes and pointed her gun at Tracy's head. She pulled the trigger again and Tracy's head exploded. Jade fell back with a scream.
"There, she's dead, stand up and back away from her." She said clearly. Jade lifted her hands and took a step away from Tracy's body.
"Turn around." Jade did as she was told and Trina pressed the gun against her head. With her free hand she restrained Jade's arms behind her back.
"Don't think about running away, only I know where the land mines are." Trina pushed her forward.
"Now walk." She guided her to the school.
XxXxXxX
Tori watched the children play and tried to sooth the colicky baby in her arms.
"Hey Tor, how's your new job?" Andre walked through the door.
"I don't know how Cat did it." Tori sighed and shifted the baby's weight.
"Well, she always had a way with kids." Andre pulled a bag of lollipops from his pocket and started to hand them out among the children.
"Yeah," Tori nodded sadly. "But, hey, how's Tracy? Did you ask her out yet?" She changed the subject. Andre shook his head.
"No, according to the nurse I asked Jade took her Aboveground. I think she needs her to help someone." He lifted a boy into the air. Tori froze.
"What?" She asked.
"Yeah, I don't know." He shrugged.
"Can you cover for me? I have to go do something." Tori settled the infant in her crib. Andre watched her carefully.
"Uh, I guess, yeah." He said.
"Thanks." Tori ran from the room.
When Tori stepped out into the afternoon sun she squinted under the glare. She knew how to get to the school, but she didn't know the land and where it was safe to walk like other Abovegrounders. The only way to the high school that she knew for certainty was the road. Unfortunately, the bombs and other debris made the road an obstacle course and it would likely take her an hour to reach the school. She hardened her shoulders and started walking anyway.
No matter how sweet it was.
She didn't want the last words she said to Jade to be I love you said that morning.