"You look worried. Is it because of us getting dumped out of hiding in front of everyone?" Abby asked as Tim headed into the lab.

He walked over and wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder for a minute. "Believe it or not, that's actually pretty low on the list of worries right now."

"So what's at the top of it?" she asked, rubbing his back.

"Right now, ethical problem. Sherlock is here looking for John. Great. Missing person, we find them all the time. But… I'm not entirely sure John's missing so much as ran screaming away from Sherlock and is trying to stay hidden."

"Okay, sit, talk to me, what's got you thinking that?"

They head to her office, he sits in her desk chair and she started to lean against the desk, and then realized everyone in the office knew they were married by now, so settled into his lap.

"This is nice." He kissed her shoulder, enjoying her body against his.

"Yeah. So tell me…"

"John's missing, has been for three weeks. Sherlock's worried, or whatever his emotional equivalent is. They live together. We know that from the blog. They're lovers; Sherlock told me that. It took him two day to notice John was gone."

"Two days?"

"Yeah. He was 'composing' and just didn't notice the time go by."

"Uh…" Abby looked appalled.

"Yeah. He says he's a highly functional sociopath, and I don't know exactly what that means, but apparently having his head so far up his ass he can see his own tonsils is part of it. So he decides to have some tea or something and notices they're out of milk, tries to text John, have him pick some up, but his cell is dead, so he gets the neighbor to text John, which is when he finds out his number's been disconnected. Apparently that's when he noticed that he hadn't seen John in two days, all of his clothing and things were gone. They dug deeper and every trace of the man is gone."

"And you're thinking he might have run away."

"You've read the blog. If you were in a bad relationship with Sherlock Holmes, how else, short of killing Holmes, could you get out of it? And he basically admitted that if John wanted out, he'd have to die to get out."

"Oh."

Tim's head dropped back and he stared at the ceiling. "So, if I try to find this guy, am I doing him any favors? And if I don't…"

"Check into it. Find out how he vanished, and if it looks like he's running away, don't tell Sherlock what you found."

"How do you suggest I do that? I'm a bad liar to begin with, and he practically reads minds."

"Don't lie. If John ran, go hard ass on him and refuse to tell him what's up. Yell at him about how if you want a lover to stick around paying attention to them is important."

"Okay. So what are you working on right now?"

"Not too much. Paperwork mostly. Running the coagulation experiment."

"Good. You feel like reading all of the latest blog entries, seeing if there's some clue as to what happened to John, anything that hints that he might have run away? My guess is short of slapping Sherlock upside the head with a two by four and screaming 'I'm leaving you, you jerk!' Sherlock wouldn't notice if John was dissatisfied with their relationship."

"You really don't like him."

"Not at all. I mean, yeah, standing there and letting him tell my, our, life story to everyone wasn't fun, but he outed Tony, and I don't think there's a term for what he did to Ziva, and if I let him get going on Gibbs they'd have a federal investigator down here so fast our heads would spin, and God alone knows what Vance is hiding. He came over and personally thanked me for keeping Sherlock busy. So, not only is the guy a raving asshole, but since my secrets are all out, it looks like I just became the official Sherlock Handler."

"Great." Abby's eyes went wide. "You don't think they'll make us put him up?"

Tim shuddered a little. "I really hope not…"

"You two look comfy," Gibbs said, voice dry, standing in the doorway to Abby's office.

Tim jerked for a second, about to flinch away from Gibbs seeing the two of them in such a compromising position, but the rest of the day came back to him and he just said, "Yeah, we are. Problem?"

Gibbs shook his head, entering and leaning against the desk. "No. I kept thinking you'd tell me when you were ready."

Abby looked up at him. "You've told Tony about fifty times that dating co-workers is off limits. You chewed him out over EJ to the point of basically telling him that if he wanted to stay on your team he had to leave her alone. Why do you think we'd have told you?"

He looked at Abby. "You tell me almost everything. And I told that to DiNozzo. Have I ever said anything to either of you about dating co-workers?"

Tim looked at Abby and she looked back at him, and they both looked at Gibbs. "No."

He nods and then kissed Abby's cheek. "Congratulations. When we've gotten rid of the insufferable asshole, I'd like to take you both to dinner to celebrate."

Tim's eyes went wide. "Really?"

"Yeah. Might be three years later, but you get married, there should be some celebrating."

"Thanks. So, ummm… where is the insufferable asshole?" Tim asked.

"He stormed down to autopsy, demanded to see the body again, looked at it for a minute, asked to see the pictures, and then declared it a suicide and told us we were all idiots barely capable of walking upright because we couldn't see it."

"Boss, the vic had his head cut off, and was found in a locked room with no weapons."

"As we all pointed out to him. Then he spent the next six minutes ripping all three of us apart. Made Palmer cry. Then Ducky lit into him." Gibbs smiled at that memory. It was pretty funny to see Ducky let his temper loose. "Finally Palmer pulled it together, kept looking at the pics, and saw what Sherlock was pointing at. Unfortunately it looks like he's right and it was a suicide. But you and I have a road trip to Norfolk before we can prove that."

"Where is he now?"

"I gave him my cigarettes and sent him back to the smoker's corner. Hopefully that'll keep him occupied for a while."

"You smoke?" Tim asked.

"Not since before you got here."

"You sent him out there with eight-year-old cigarettes?"

"Nah. I buy a new pack every few months. Like having it but not opening it."

"Oh. One pack?"

"Yeah."

"Rate he was going through mine, I figure he's good for about two hours. Someone's got to keep an eye on him." They both look at Abby, and if it wasn't for the fact that she was sitting on Tim's lap, she would have been trying to run away.

"No."

"You can lock him in here if he's too much of a jerk," Tim said.

"If Ziva was here, I'd give him to her…" Gibbs didn't have to finish that sentence. Ziva and Tony had a lot to discuss tonight and wouldn't be coming back today.

"Fine. But he's not staying with us. He's going to your house tonight!"

Gibbs gritted his teeth. "Fine."

Abby stood up, and Tim followed, then kissed her quickly. "See if you can get him talking about John. Maybe you can get a better read on if he's missing voluntarily or not."

"Sure." They turned to head off and she said, "Bring me back the mystery decapitating weapon that'll take a head clean off and hide in plain sight!"

Gibbs smiled at her and they headed off.