The Hokage was steaming. One of his sentries was found dead last night, blood drained. The Hokage knew that a vampire had to be the culprit, but he didn't know who. He summoned every Vampire in the village, and none of them knew about the dead sentry. He slammed his hand upon the ground, casting a spell to summon Hidan's spirit. The silver haired ninja smirked back at the Hokage. "Well, Dickhead-sama, what a fucking surprise. Fuck do you want?" He spat frowning. The Hokage scowled at the ninja. "When the urn was destroyed, where was it?" He asked. Hidan only laughed. "That thing was in pieces when I got there." He said. Naruto was unconvinced. "Where was the urn when you saw it?" He asked, hoping for a better answer. Hidan seemed to ponder it, then chuckled. "Don't know. Saw one of the pieces on the ground. Blood everywhere." He said. The Hokage was displeased. He ended the spell, returning Hidan's spirit to where it came.
Sakura Uzamaki was in a decent mood. The pestering wolf who liked to shit talk everyone was dead, his head shipped to her husband covered in fecal matter and blood. Although, his body had yet to be found, and Akamaru was missing, likely dead as well. She cared not, continuing her façade as the head doctor at Konoha General Hospital.
Itachi looked at the village he used to call home, examining it's nightly activity. There were more vampires then he remembered, likely due to the extinction of the Uchiha, himself included. The Senju and Uchiha were mortal enemies, not because they were related, no, but because they were too different. The Senju were power mongering vampires, born that way because of their mother. The Uchiha were angered when their ancestor was shafted for his younger brother, and they retaliated. From that day on, the Uchiha were great vampire slayers. And Itachi intended to finish what his ancestors started.
The little boy shook in fear, his hair matted and covered in blood. He hated the sewers, and hated the Hokage more. He was chosen to become the food of Shino Aburame, the Nosferatu of Konoha. The Nosferatu were cursed to wear their beast on the outside, due to their Antediluvian's lust for his own childe. The Nosferatu hid in sewers and other such dins, feasting upon the evil, but having children when they felt necessary. The hideous bug ninja touched the boy's shoulder, bugs scurrying from one being to the other. The boy hated bugs, and tried to scream. But the misshapen fangs of Shino Aburame came down upon his throat too fast.
Itachi heard the whimpers of a boy walking through the streets of Konoha, using his senses to locate the source. The sewers. He earth melted, through the ground and into the sewers. He sensed the weak life force of the child, heading in the direction of the energy. The child's energy decreased, and Itachi smelt blood. Someone was feeding from the boy, with no intention of stopping.
Naruto smiled, his business done for the day. Shino had his child, his wife was at work, and he was at peace. Ino Yamanaka wrapped her arms around him, breasts pressed against his back. He smiled, turning to face his mistress. The Toreador cared for Naruto, and he felt serene at the moment. Ino dropped to her knees, and Naruto laughed happily.
Shino Aburame dropped the child's corpse, heading to bed. He slept in a coffin in the sewer's and always rested after a meal. he seemed to awake in even better condition then he fell asleep in. his eyes closed, and he slipped into a sweet slumber.
Itachi arrived at the make shift home of something. The child's corpse lay on the ground, jagged wounds on his throat. Itachi dipped his fingers in the blood that spilled into the floor, licking them gently. He may not like vampires, but he make sure to study them closely. Their Dark Father, Caine the wanderer, always said to take gently from children. Memories flooded Itachi, and the boy's emotions were almost real to him. He ruffled the child's hair, poking his forehead. He walked on, finding the coffin of Shino Aburame.
Itachi was fueled with hate, seeing the slumbering Nosferatu, his hideous visage visible for all the world to see. Bug scurried left and right, numbering in the thousands. Itachi called upon the insects, setting the parasites upon the Nosferatu. The bugs swarmed him, biting into his flesh, sucking out his blood and energy. The Nosferatu awoke with a start, screaming in pain. His entire body was covered in the insects, his vitae drained from him. He flailed upon the ground, his struggle futile. Itachi chuckled. "Sleep Tight, Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite." He said, laughing. Soon naught was left but bone, his eyes rolling from his head. Itachi had an idea, to frighten the Hokage more and more.
Naruto and his allies feasted upon a fabulous stew, given to them by a random villager. They cheered happily, while discussing the lycanthrope's death. Sakura screeched loudly, and everyone turned to her. On her spoon was an eye, human in shape and size. Everyone paled, with the exception of Orochimaru who laughed. The Hokage noticed that the snake didn't take part in the feast, and now he saw why. Orochimaru handed Naruto a card, with the scent of blood heavy on it. "I though that thisss would be besst ssaved for lasst, Hokage-ssama." Orochimaru said, bowing politely. Naruto opened the card, reading aloud. "Hokage-san, how are you? I see you still haven't solved the mystery of the wolf's murder. Well, I decided to give you a gift. I call it Nosferat-stew. How do you like it? I made sure to put the Shino eyes in their for effect." The note read, written in blood. The room lurched, vomit spraying everywhere. The snake had exited, laughing loudly.
Itachi looked down upon the village, choosing out his next victim. It was heard, Naruto having so many allies. He decided to think on it, dropping the corpse of Naruto's sentry.