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This chapter may perhaps appear somehow "forced" or unnecessary. But there are some interactions, some happenings in it that will influence the whole story from now on. So … I'd say that it is necessary.
Chapter 12 – The Search
Trying hard to control his breathing John felt how panic swept through his heart every now and then. It's been few minutes since he arrived at the top of ski lift and made himself down the slope slowly, looking at every corner very carefully, trying not to worry, but worrying nonetheless.
He was about one third of the way down to the bottom of the slope and with each passed second his fears grew. He began panting heavily and had to stop at the edge of the slope, although he really hadn't made any serious physical effort yet. He tried, of course unsuccessfully, to persuade himself that Cameron was a terminator after all and that she knew how to survive in harshest environments and conditions. But still, the knowing of her true nature couldn't calm him down. What if she ran into a triple eight? What if she crashed somewhere and damaged her chip? What if …? Horror scenarios filled his head and as soon as he dismissed one of them, another, even more horrible took its place and plagued him.
He shook his head to chase such fears away, but managed only to change them. He began to run another terrible scenario. A scenario of Cameron leaving him instead of getting into some troubles. No, that's impossible! She wouldn't leave me. Not now, as we finally got clear. No, Cam wouldn't leave me. No way! And yet he couldn't be completely reassured. After Andrea told him what his mother said to her, he was almost sure that Derek was persuading Tim in the same manner too. And if Tim said anything to Cameron … he couldn't imagine what Cameron's reaction would be, especially considering her newfound emotions, which he knew were genuine. But they were so new to her that he wasn't sure how she'd cope with something unexpected, without anyone around to explain them to her. Something he knew for sure: should Cameron believe that it would benefit him if she'd leave him, she'd leave him. Reluctantly, sad, but she would do it. He knew that her only prerogative was his safety. Suddenly a thought crossed his mind; what if Cameron saw Andrea, trying to kiss him? Would it be possible? Nah, she wouldn't run away just like that. But … what if …? He shook his head and tried to persuade himself, Cameron wouldn't simply run away. But …
Sighing, he plopped down to rest his tortured mind, which caused his body to ache too, a little. He knew that Cameron cared for him much more than she was supposed to. But … was it love? And if it really was love what she felt for him … would she be ready to deny her feelings just to do what she thought would be right? He knew that Cameron was still like a child sometimes, so innocent, inquisitive and insecure in the whole 'being human' thing, that her conclusions still largely rested on, were influenced and directed by her logic. If she'd feel conflicted, she'd probably, no, almost definitely, turn to the safe haven of her sound logic, ignoring her feelings. And he was afraid that in such conflicted situation she might reach a decision that would be quite logical for a machine, but terribly painful for a human … or an emotional machine.
After few minutes of self loathing and feeling sorry for himself, he finally managed to stop all the horror scenarios, playing in his mind and stood up. Time to be John Connor instead of John Baum and act accordingly, There's a girl .. OK, a cyborg girl out there who must be found. His face showed determination and he started down the slope again with new conviction that he had to find his best friend.
While John was up the mountain, searching for Cameron, Sarah and Derek returned to the ski lift. They have spent few hours wandering around, sitting in some cozy pubs and discussing their successful 'preparation' of Tim and Andrea. Derek was in a suspiciously good mood, while Sarah was somehow absentminded, as if she wouldn't be exactly thrilled over her deeds. While Derek chose to remain by his beloved drink – beer, Sarah decided that she could really need a good shot of tequila and didn't hesitate to order it. Three times, in fact. After the third glass her foul mood slowly changed and she even began to laugh over Derek's stupid jokes.
When they finally reached the ski lift, they were both in good mood already and smiled at everything and everyone, not caring for few strange looks they earned for their actions. In fact, they didn't even register them.
"We did it, Sarah! They'll stir everything up and the metal will soon just be a minor inconvenience." Derek grinned from ear to ear.
"I don't know, Derek. I hope that Andrea is as good as I think she is. But … considering John's stubbornness, she might have a hell of a job to do to get through to him." Sarah wasn't convinced but she grinned nevertheless. "Look, there are our infiltrators!" She raised her hand to show Derek whom she meant.
Derek followed her finger and saw Andrea and Tim, coming towards them. He grinned, but as he saw their faces, his grin slowly vanished: "Something's wrong. And where are John and the metal?"
Sarah's grin vanished too and after the siblings came to them, she jumped: "Where are John and Cameron?"
Tim looked at her, while Andrea hung her head and refused to look at them. "We don't know."
Sarah almost exploded: "How 'we don't know'? You were together with Cameron and Andrea was with John. How is it possible you don't know where they are?"
Tim didn't back off and stared defiantly into Sarah's eyes: "Cameron's missing and John went looking for her."
Sarah's jaw fell. "How … missing? She can't simply vanish into thin air!" She looked at Derek and to her annoyance saw a tiny smile playing around his lips. She turned back to face Tim: "When?"
"Oh, she's been missing for almost one hour. Nobody saw her and as John found out, he flipped out completely and went up to find her." Tim was speaking quite self-assured and looked at Derek. "I don't know what happened to her, but I hope she's all right."
Derek forced himself to wipe the smile from his face and nodded: "So do I. But … weren't you together? How could she simply disappear when you were there with her."
"Well, I guess I was overdoing it and she was mad at me. So, in fact, we were in the same group but we weren't together." Tim answered with somehow smug smile on his face. Derek saw it but understood it completely wrong, thinking that Tim was still planning to fulfill his expectations concerning Cameron. So he nodded to Tim with a small smug smile on his lips. But Tim's reaction definitely took the wind out of his sails. Tim just stared blankly at him and shook his head in clear annoyance. Derek's smile vanished and his eyes showed his astonishment as he realized that his plan hadn't worked and that Tim wouldn't follow it anymore.
Sarah interjected while looking at Andrea: "And you? Weren't you together with John?"
"Sure, but we had a little misunderstanding and he split off from the group to find Cameron. So I haven't seen him since then." Andrea was speaking very quietly and refusing to look Sarah in the eyes.
Sarah got a bad feeling, understanding that neither Tim nor Andrea managed to achieve what they wanted them to, but dismissed the thought. John was somewhere up the mountain alone, searching for Cameron, who disappeared. She could feel that her disappearance had something to do with their plot and felt very bad. Not because Cameron disappeared, but because she realized that it must have impacted John very much. He was obviously already so deeply connected with Cameron that she underestimated it. Suddenly she thought of the dangers that could lurk out there at her son, being alone. No, he's not alone! There are many other people on the slope. But still, it never stopped a terminator. If Cameron's missing … could it be possible, that there is a machine up there, looking for John? A machine, which already neutralized tin miss? She gasped at the thought. It was a detail, she never considered while plotting against Cameron. She always thought Cameron would stay by John's side. But now, after she disappeared …
She turned her eyes back to Andrea and for the first time really noticed her hesitation and refusal to look into the eyes of the older woman. She opened her mouth to ask Andrea what happened up there with John, but hesitated for a second and then closed her mouth, shook her head slightly and turned to Derek: "I guess that we should wait here for John to return." Then she turned to Tim and Andrea again: "Could you two please try to go up and look if John's somewhere? And Cameron too?"
Tim shook his head slightly: "I don't think that it would do any good if we went up. John is a better snowboarder than we two and Cameron … well, she's probably better than any trainer they've got here. It's probably the best solution to wait here for them to return. They have to come down sometime."
Derek managed to overcome his disappointment that his plan obviously failed and he looked at Sarah: "I guess that he's right Sarah. We can wait here and see when they come."
Sarah wasn't so sure, but she understood that no one of them was capable of going searching for the two and nodded reluctantly. Then she turned to Andrea and Tim: "Well, thank you anyway."
Andrea finally managed to look at Sarah and shot her a clearly annoyed look: "Nothing to thank us for." Then she turned to Tim: "We should return to our hotel. We'll check upon John and Cameron later."
Tim nodded to his sister: "Yeah, you're right. We should go." He was also feeling uncomfortable with Sarah and Derek, knowing that they've been played by them as pawns and used to some unclear intention of separating John and Cameron. He didn't want to start an argument with them, so he grabbed the cue, which Andrea gave him, to retreat.
Sarah didn't even bother to answer him, she just nodded. She could clearly feel the tension of the discussion and was relieved that the siblings decided to go away.
After Andrea and Tim left them, Derek grinned at Sarah: "Maybe we even managed to reach the final solution for the metal. Maybe it got destroyed."
Sarah turned to Derek with anger growing in her eyes. She didn't actually care for Cameron. From her point of view Cameron could as well disappear, but she knew that her son wouldn't take it easily, so she also knew that Cameron's disappearance wouldn't be a good solution at all. "I think that would be a very bad solution, Reese. Should tin miss really disappear … well, I'm sure John would be more than only upset about it."
"He'd get over it soon. I'm sure that deep down he knows that it's not good to be too attached to the metal." Derek was still grinning and his eyes looked slightly unfocused. Perhaps it was the result of quite a few beer bottles, which he managed to empty while waiting for the youngsters to finish their course.
Sarah noticed his glassy look and shook her head in dismay: "Derek, you've drank too much beer. You're not thinking clearly. If it only were that simple." She sighed irritably and looked up the slope. "He's not like you. He'd been saved by a machine … not once, but many times. He understands them better than anyone else. Maybe he isn't aware of the full extent of his affection for the machines and especially for tin miss. But he would never accept your opinion if he'd think it's wrong."
"Bullshit! He has to see it in the right light! Machines are dangerous. They're made with one sole purpose and that's to kill. It doesn't matter if they look pretty as a picture. They're made to annihilate all human life." Derek was gradually beginning to slur. The effects of consumed alcohol began to increasingly influence his ability to think and speak.
"Reese, you're drunk!" Sarah snorted in disguise. "How many beers have you got? Six? Seven?"
"I didn't really count them. I may be drunk, but I still know what's right and what's wrong. And feeling anything for the machine is WRONG!" Derek's voice was getting louder and annoyance began to show on his face.
"Interesting!" Mocked Sarah, who was also feeling the effects of her three tequilas, but was still more than capable of controlling her tongue and brain. "I'd say that you're beginning to mix things up."
"Absolutely not! If they didn't succeed and if the metal comes back then I'll simply go and use the thermite to solve my problems." Derek was beginning to rant.
Sara's temper rose and she glared into Derek's eyes icily: "You are doing no such thing! You will accept the situation no matter what. It was a mistake to accept your plan and even a bigger mistake to act like you suggested. Don't you think that John and Cameron will find out what we did? They probably already know it! Haven't you seen Tim and Andrea? They most definitely told John and Cameron that it was us, who tried to plot against them. How do you think John will accept such attempt? Do you really believe he'll be thrilled? NO! He'll be furious! I can't even imagine what he'll do. I can't imagine what my own son's going to do!" Her voice wasn't raised, but she spoke with ice cold determination, knowing exactly that their plan failed and that they would have to face the consequences. And knowing her son, the consequences could be really drastic.
Sarah's tone somehow caused Derek to return from his alcohol induced stupor back to reality and he glared back: "I don't see what he could possibly want to do against us. You're his mother and I'm his uncle…"
"… who tried to betray him and used his newfound friends to achieve their goals!" Sarah interrupted him and this time her voice was raised. "Derek Reese … you're an asshole! Now get out of my sight before I hit you." She stared at him with determination, normally only seen in her eyes when it came to destroying the machines and protecting her son. Derek noticed her murderous look and backed down. "OK, I'll be in hotel bar if you look for me." With a distasteful grunt he turned away and started towards their hotel.
"Don't count on it!" Sarah hissed after him. Then she turned towards the slope again and sighed heavily. I made a mistake! I made a terrible mistake and now John's somewhere up there, searching for his protector instead of tin miss looking after him. I hope everything will be all right. If not … She shuddered at the thought something could go wrong. She turned to the restaurant by the ski lift and decided to use their bathroom.
John was almost at the bottom of the slope and couldn't find a trace of Cameron. He tried his best to act reasonably, to persuade himself that everything would be all right and even succeeded fairly good. But his heart still beat with increased rate in worries. Maybe she already returned her gear and went to the hotel. I should go to the ski school booth and see if she's been there already. He sighed slightly relieved as he reached this decision and went straight to the little house where they rented the equipment before.
He stopped in front of the cabin, took the board off his feet and went to the door. His heart accelerated in anticipation, hoping to hear good news but fearing the bad ones. After he entered the little room, he saw that there was no one in. "Hello?" He cried towards the backroom and drummed his fingers impatiently on the counter. After a while a young man came from the backroom, the same one who rented him the equipment before.
"Hi! I've been here before with my friend. We somehow got separated and I'm wondering if she already returned her gear." John was forcing himself to speak in a normal voice and smiled slightly at the young man.
The employee looked at John, scrunched his eyebrows a bit and then his face lightened up: "Oh, now I remember! The cute brunette with long curly hair, tasseled cap and in light purple jacket, right?"
"Yes, that's the one." John couldn't help but grin slightly. It was obvious that Cameron didn't leave anyone unaffected by simply appearing in front of them.
The man shook his head: "No, I haven't seen her since you both came here. I'm sorry."
John felt how his hopes deflated and fear returned into his heart. He clenched his fists and nodded to the man: "Me too. Thank you anyway." He turned to go out but reconsidered and turned back to the man: "Should she come here, could you please tell her that I was here? John? Her boyfriend?" He couldn't believe how it slipped his tongue. He was even more astonished how right it sounded to call himself her boyfriend.
The man looked slightly disappointed, but nodded nevertheless: "Sure I will."
"Thank you." John nodded and turned towards entrance again, this time really starting for the door. He still couldn't quite believe to have said to the man that Cameron was his girlfriend. But it really felt just right.
After he exited the house, he stood there helplessly for a second, but managed to pull himself together and started towards the ski lift. He knew that he had to find Cameron and the only chance was to repeat his search down the slope again. She had to be somewhere up there. He stopped at the entrance point to the ski lift and fastened his board. After he straightened himself again, stony determination could be seen on his face and he entered the entry area.
Sarah just returned from the bathroom and decided to stand guard at the entry to the ski lift. She was trying to persuade herself that everything would turn out good. With not exactly big success. She sighed and looked at the slope, completely missing a young man, who just took the chair and was on his way to the top of the ski lift.
Cameron was still sitting in the forest and trying to understand what was going on with her. The emotions which overwhelmed her after she saw John kissing Andrea were not exactly new to her, but she never felt them in such an aggravating manner. She remembered to have felt similarly upon noticing a lipstick on John's collar after he came from Riley. Back then she didn't know what she felt and it confused her greatly. Now she believed to know that the feeling she experienced was jealousy. And today … today she felt similarly, only hundred times stronger. And not only jealousy; she felt sadness and disappointment. But … why would she feel disappointed? Who was she to feel disappointed over John's closeness to a girl? She wasn't anything more that a protector to him. For a brief period of time she believed their relationship could develop, could become deeper and more affectionate. But she was obviously wrong.
She sighed. The first shock over what she saw wore off and she was slowly returning to her normal, analytical and organized way of thinking. Affection began to make place for logical pondering of her possibilities. She started to consider her options for continued protection of John Connor. Not that it would hurt her less than before … it hurt terribly, but she forced herself to analyze the situation with machine logic.
I should find a way to switch off these emotions. They are impairing my judgment and I'm not an efficient protector if I flip out emotionally upon seeing something I don't like. I'll have to return to John and ask him to pull my chip and switch the emotions off. It would be the best solution. She concluded it would be really for the benefit of John Connor to return to the purely machine way of interacting with him. I'm sure he'll understand that it's the only sound solution. If only it wouldn't hurt so much.
TBC