Surprise, surprise! Update after only three days! To be honest: I've been away for these days and got time to write, so … here it is, chapter 13.

The title of this chapter should be read together with the title of chapter 5 (but I'm sure you already know that) to get a complete picture. Both chapters are connected – in fact this one is the epilogue (or result of actions, started in chapter 5) to chapter 5. At least partly.

Will John manage to find Cameron? Will she be all right? Will they clear everything? Will John and Sarah fight? Answer to these questions will be given in this and in the next few chapters.

Chapter 13 - … of Mice and Men Often Go Awry

John returned to the ski lift after another fruitless descent. At the beginning of this descent he was convinced that he would find Cameron, but his hopes faded slowly as he approached the bottom of the slope. He was almost frantic now and he was finally ready to admit it to himself. It's been more than one hour since he started his search and Cameron was nowhere to be found. It looked like she'd simply vanish from existence and John felt his heart race in his throat while he imagined all possible scenarios.

As he stopped at the ski lift once again he heard a cry: "JOHN!" He turned abruptly to see his mother racing towards him.

After few seconds Sarah reached John and hugged him fiercely. "I was afraid something happened to you! I've been waiting here for an eternity!" She let go of her son, grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him violently: "What were you thinking John? Why did you go up there alone?" She yelled at him in a mixture of anger and relief. She didn't even notice his dark face, she missed the fact, that he didn't hug her back and that he just stared at her coldly. She finally looked into his eyes and saw his ice cold look. "John? Is something wrong?"

"You bet! Not something! Everything is wrong mom!" John hissed like a furious snake and continued to burn holes in her eyes. "What were YOU thinking mom? What did you say to Andrea?" He wasn't yelling; his voice was dangerously calm but sharp as a razor blade.

Sarah stuttered and recognized that her son really knew that she tried to separate him from Cameron. Many thoughts shot through her mind, but none of them useful. She swallowed hard and tried: "John …"

"Don't you dare 'John' me! I asked you a question and I expect an answer!" John wasn't at least impressed by his mother's obvious stunned state. "On the second thought … I already assume what you told her. Just tell me … is it true or not? Did you really encourage her to hit on me? Did you really tried to separate me from Cameron? Did you?"

Sarah felt small again, like after the breakfast. She looked at the floor and tried frantically to find a plausible explanation. Then she lifted her eyes to look into his son's green ones and realized that he wouldn't accept anything but the truth. So she swallowed hard again and nodded. "John, you don't understand ..."

Again she wasn't able to finish the sentence because John's calm but sharp voice cut her off: "No mom. It's YOU who doesn't understand." He sighed and continued: "I thought that after our discussion today you'd at least try to respect my wishes. But only an hour later you try to force someone to separate me from Cameron. Hell, I even let you treat me like a child when you separated us under some stupid pretense that we couldn't be together in a group. NO! I am not finished yet!" Sarah was trying to interrupt him but he stopped her with raised hand, without raising his voice. "You should remember what I told you today. I will not abandon my friend just because you're not able to accept her. And with your action … I really don't know what you were thinking. You should have known that sooner or later I would find out what you tried and that I wouldn't be pleased by your actions."

Sarah felt terrible. Everything she feared was coming true. Everything she managed to build with her son in the past was started to stumble down. Everything she wished for seemed to turn into dust. She understood suddenly that the reservations she had about Derek's plan were absolutely right. She saw in the steely eyes of her son that he was angry beyond understanding. But not only anger … she saw hurt upon her betrayal in those green eyes, so similar to hers and yet so different at the moment. She saw something like fear in them; but he didn't fear her. His face showed it clearly. He was afraid of losing Cameron. She was unable to say a single word. For the first time in her life her son made her realize that she made a terrible mistake and she was ashamed of her attempt, ashamed of herself. Trying to gather the courage to answer, she opened her mouth, but the fury in John's eyes stopped her. Hell hath no fury like a son betrayed. A free adaptation of William Congreve's phrase suddenly shot through her mind. And how exactly on the spot it was in this moment!

John was glaring at his mother. If he weren't so furious he could have seen the wet sparkling of her eyes. If he weren't so blindly convinced that his mother betrayed him he could have seen the trembling of her hands. But he was not in a state to see anything of it. He was so outraged upon the betrayal by his own mother and by his own uncle that he wanted to hurt them. Derek wasn't here so it was Sarah's turn to take all the beating.

"Because of your actions Cameron ran away. I'm sure that it's only because of you. I know that Derek was talking to Tim to convince him Cameron were available, just like you did talk to Andrea. I know that Cameron was more than little upset because Tim was trying to hit on her. And the fact is that neither Tim nor Andrea can really be blamed for what they did. They would have never tried anything weren't they lied to by you two." He stopped and took a deep breath. His anger was slowly calming down, but at the moment he was imperceptive for any reasonable discussion with his mother. "You should pray that I find her soon. Because if I don't … well, I don't know what I'll do, but it won't be nice. Sure as hell not!" he turned away from his mother and went for the ski lift to go up the slope again and continue his search for Cameron.

He actually wasn't sure that it was really Sarah's fault that Cameron disappeared. There could have been many different reasons, but in the heat of the anger he blurted it out without thinking. He said it, because he wanted to hurt his mother. He wanted to hurt her, like he felt she hurt him. Deep down he knew he would regret his words soon; he knew he would have to talk to his mother without anger clouding his judgment. But right now he wasn't able to suppress his anger.

"John, please, wait!" Sarah cried with tiny voice after him. She wanted to tell him that she was sorry; she wanted to apologize to him for betraying him. But he showed no reaction to her cry and continued towards the ski lift. Sarah hung her head and shook it slightly. She understood that at the moment John wouldn't be ready to listen to anything she might try to say to him, that at the moment he was beyond persuading. He needed to cool off, he needed to find Cameron. Only then could she try to talk to him. She suddenly felt irrational wish for Cameron to appear right there and console her fuming and aching son. The cyborg girl was obviously her only hope to ever make it up to John. She didn't know what to do. Should she wait here? Should she go to the hotel? If she'd wait here, she could possibly see Cameron if she'd come. But, on the other hand … she had been waiting here for a very long time now and Cameron didn't appear, so it was difficult to believe that the cyborg would appear now.

She sighed and looked around helplessly. John was already on the ski lift and obviously didn't bother to look at her. Suddenly she thought of Derek, probably sitting in the hotel bar and drinking himself drunk. If he gets too drunk and meets John they could really have a major fight. They are both so darn stubborn. Perhaps I should go and prepare Derek for meeting John. Upon reaching this decision, she turned and started towards the hotel.

Meanwhile John was riding the ski lift uphill and his thoughts were as sharp as the razor blade, much clearer than before. He was still extremely worried about Cameron, but he was also somehow calmed that he got confirmation from his mother that she really was behind Andrea's actions. It didn't soothe him. But it was good to know the truth. He was still mad at her and would probably be for a long time but the worm of doubt and insecurity which tortured him before, finally dropped its ugly head and died. The inevitable discussion with his mother would take place … but not now; not until he had Cameron back. He suddenly realized that he definitely wouldn't want to face his mother without her. After all … his mother hurt both of them and it would only be right if Cameron would take a part in the talk too.

Lost in his thoughts he almost missed the exit ramp of the ski lift and barely avoided falling. John! You should be more careful. You won't be able to search for Cam if you break your leg or something else in such a stupid manner. After he managed to stop few feet away from the ramp, he inhaled deeply and decided that this time he'd find his Cameron. He fixed his binding and started downhill, absolutely determined to find his wayward love.

Sarah arrived at the hotel and went straight to the lobby bar. While walking from the ski lift, she thought about the best possible way to handle Derek. He proved before that he was stubborn as a mule and this 'operation' somehow even strengthened his hatred for the machines. Since her one sided talk to John, Sarah slowly began to understand how important Cameron was to John and how far her son was prepared to go to protect his protector. She realized that she would only alienate her son, should she try to interfere in his relationship, whatever form it may have, with Cameron. No, she wouldn't like the cyborg girl. It would be perhaps even more than a quantum leap for her. But maybe she could learn how to coexist with her; maybe she could manage to look away when she'd see something she wouldn't want to see. However, the main problem was still Derek: she had to get through to him; she had to persuade him to back off; she had to make sure he wouldn't do anything to Cameron. And she just might have a weapon to do so.

Derek was sitting in the lobby bar of the hotel, right at the center of the counter, drinking his second beer after he left Sarah at the ski lift. He still replayed what happened there with Tim and Andrea. Something definitely went wrong. But he was too drunk already to understand what could be the reason for the failure. He angrily shook his head and regretted it immediately, for the world began to spin faster after the act.

"I believe you're even drunker than you have been at the ski lift." Sarah's ironic voice penetrated the spinning haze of his surroundings. He was just about to turn to her abruptly, as he luckily remembered in the last possible moment what happened the last time he turned his head too vigorously. So he opted for a slow turn of the head in the general direction from which Sarah's voice came. He could see her sitting next to him on a bar stool and looking at him with an undefined expression on her face. He definitely couldn't make out if she was serious, mocking him or something else.

"Probably." He snapped at her irritably, sensing that she was up to something. "Did John come back?"

Sarah nodded slowly: "Yes, he did."

"And?"

"He knows everything."

Derek snorted: "So what? He'll get over it." He grabbed the bottle and took a long sip.

"Perhaps. But I wouldn't count on it. We had a very one sided discussion. He was talking and I was listening. You were lucky not to be there." Sarah answered quietly.

Derek put the bottle back to the counter with a loud clang and looked at Sarah: "Why would I be lucky? Perhaps it would even be better if I were there to make things clear for him." He grinned suddenly: "Wow! Sarah Connor was the listening part of the conversation! Now, THAT IS something I regret not witnessing it."

Sarah shook her head and gazed into Derek's slightly unfocused eyes: "You have absolutely no idea how furious he is. He blames us that Cameron disappeared. He wouldn't even allow me to say anything. I'm sure we made a huge mistake with our plan." She decided not to answer to Derek's comment about her, being the silent partner in the talk.

Derek was too drunk already to be perceptive for the truth. His mind worked in the alcohol clouds and there were no limits for him, being the savior of the world and the universe. So he grinned back at Sarah: "As I've said: he'll come around. He'll realize that the metal must go and then he'll be the man you want him to be."

Sarah's head shot up and she glared into Derek's grinning face with disguise. "Don't you dare talking like that about John! He's more a man now than he's ever been! He fights for something he believes in and he's damn determined to achieve his goal. And if it's to find Cameron … so let it be her." She stopped, took a deep breath and continued: "But you are too drunk to understand anything I'm telling you. It makes absolutely no sense to talk to you now. You should go to the room and sleep over your drunkenness."

Derek opened his mouth to protest, but was cut short by Sarah, who raised her voice and her finger, pointing at him menacingly: "Don't you dare contradict me Reese! He's my son and I won't allow you to mess up his life."

"As if you hadn't tried to do the same!" Derek managed to interject.

Sarah was taken aback for a second, but managed to continue: "Yes I did and now I'm paying the price. If I learned anything from this attempt than it's the fact that I'll never again try to take such an influence on him. If he wants to protect tin miss, so let it be. I won't try to mess up anything. And you won't either. You'll stay back or, so help me God, I'll find a way to make you curse the day you were born. Do we understand each other?" She bowed towards Derek, so that their noses were only inches apart. The stench of alcohol was almost unbearable, but she had to make him clear that she wasn't talking nonsense that she meant every single word she said.

Derek gazed into her cold eyes and even though he was already heavily under influence of consumed alcohol, he saw the cold determination in her eyes. The woman probably wouldn't hesitate to kill me should I do something she'd found as unacceptable. He slowly nodded: "All right Sarah. I get it. But, just for the record, I still …"

Sarah's hand shot out and grabbed his, lying on the counter in an iron grip: "I don't want to hear it! I don't care what you think! Go! We'll talk tomorrow!" Her angry eyes shot in his direction and he understood it would be the best to follow her words. He gulped and nodded again: "OK, I'm on my way." He stood up and after a second, needed to gain his balance, he started for the door.

Sarah looked after him and after he disappeared through the entrance, she sighed and the determined mask fell. Oh John, I hope that I'll make it up to you for the betrayal. I'm so sorry!

John was cruising down the slope slowly and this time he decided to call for Cameron too. Maybe she was somewhere aside the slope and he couldn't see her. But knowing her excellent hearing, he was sure she'd hear him should he call for her. So he yelled her name every now and then, while his eyes carefully swept the slope and the forest nearby. He didn't care anymore to lay low and be unsuspicious. A terminator may come and hear him, he wouldn't care. Finding Cameron was the only thing on his mind and he was prepared to risk everything, just to get her back. Funny … it's been just a few hours since we parted and I already miss her like it would have been months. I wonder if she feels the same?

Cameron was still on the same spot and she was still analyzing the situation and possible solutions. She already decided to ask John to pull her chip and switch off her emotions. But as she continued to analyze her reactions, she began to doubt that simple switching off would be enough. Slowly she began to form another solution and the solution was that John should not only switch her emotions off but to erase them. Should they be only switched off there was always the possibility that they would suddenly take over her logic again, like they did quite often in the last days.

She felt sadness as she concluded that erasure would be the best solution. Remembering John's gentleness in the last days made her smile, but as the picture of him, kissing Andrea reappeared, her face froze in painful expression. Yes, it would be better not to have emotions at all. They are so difficult to handle, they are so … so …. She tried to find a correct word to express her feelings, but found none. It's really difficult to be human. How do humans cope with such situations? They cannot simply switch the emotions off; they have to live with them. Being human is definitely overrated. It's better for us, machines. We can always revert back to logic. But deep down in the circuits of her chip, she knew that she was just trying to persuade herself that she made a correct decision, she was only trying to find an excuse for deciding to do something she knew John wouldn't approve easily if at all. Deep down she didn't want to return to the way she was before. She just feared she wouldn't be able to cope with John choosing a human girl over her. Not after he showed her how beautiful it can be to be loved and to love, no matter the fact that he hadn't told her yet. But she somehow felt that she was very important to John, just like he was the only person in the whole word that mattered to her. Suddenly tears wetted her eyelashes again.

John was already halfway down the slope, calling Cameron's name every other second. His voice was slowly getting weaker and he already felt fatigued. But he wouldn't give up. No, absolutely not! He wouldn't rest until he was reunited with Cameron.

"CAAAAAAAM! WHERE ARE YOU? CAAAAAAAM, ANSWER ME!" He found new strength and yelled very loudly. He looked around and failed to see that he was dangerously near a big tree. Just a second before he'd crash directly into it, he turned his head and noticed the danger ahead. He frantically flailed with his arms and managed to turn back to the slope. Jesus! I've almost made the biggest mistake. Johnny boy, you have to be more careful! He cursed his own stupidity and concentrated on the slope again.

"CAAAAAAAM! WHERE ARE YOU? CAAAAAAAM, ANSWER ME!" A cry suddenly sounded in Cameron's ears. She abruptly raised her head, wiped the tears and analyzed the voice. It was John's voice; there was no doubt about it. She suddenly felt how life returned into her. John? Why is he calling for me? Why is he searching for me? He's got Andrea. But … what if I misinterpreted what I saw? What if I made a mistake? She suddenly began to doubt her decision to hide in the forest. Maybe she really made a mistake. Considering her internal clock she realized that it's been more than one hour since she came here. Maybe John still feels something for me? Maybe I really should talk to him.

She stood up abruptly, not caring to clean the snow off herself and pointed herself towards John's voice. Yes, she should talk to him. Only after that talk would she ask him to erase her emotions. Or maybe not?

TBC