OK, so, after the Christmas present, here's also the New Years' present – a new chapter.
I hope you enjoyed the previous chapter. In this, some loose ends will be tied together, some issues will be opened, but not all … There's still so much to talk about, to discuss, to resolve. Enough for quite a few chapters.
John and Cameron continue their heart-to-heart talk. New issues, new solutions, confirmation of their decision. Enjoy and if you have a second – write a line or two if I'm doing it right.
As before: this chapter may contain many grammatical and spelling errors – I wanted to post it as soon as it's finished, so there was no time to read it over for a few times. I hope it's still acceptable.
Chapter 16 - Revelations & Reveries, Part Two
Cameron felt like she would be dreaming. She held John closely, she was allowed to kiss him and he kissed her back. His hands were roaming along her back and sending shivers through her body. She never felt so happy before in her entire existence. Somehow she was sure that she finally arrived at the end of her longing. John's lips on hers felt like fire and she savored every second like it would be her last together with her John. Somewhere deep inside her mind, a question arose – how could she feel as much? She was just a terminator and she knew that terminators weren't supposed to feel anything. But she was feeling love; she was experiencing how it is to be loved; she felt how John's hands worked wonders on her back, on her neck, on her hair, how her lips sent her into some other dimension …
After a long, lingering kiss, John's lips hesitantly left hers and caused her to moan quietly in displeasure of losing such an intimate contact. Her eyes remained closed for few more seconds and her lips pouted as if she would be waiting for another kiss. But, as it didn't come, she slowly opened her eyes, maintaining a pout to show John that she wanted more. She looked into John's smiling eyes and immediately her lips began to smile back at him too. "John … I …" She trailed off, unsure what was that she wanted to say.
"Yes, Cam?" John asked in a slightly wicked voice as if he would know that she forgot what she wanted to say. But as he saw her dreamy eyes, her smile and face, that radiated happiness, he couldn't remain stoic and he gave her another quick, but tender kiss on her lips, causing her to smile a bit wider. "Cam?"
"Yes, John?" Cameron's voice was so gentle that he asked himself if this was really the same Cameron that he knew before.
"Would you tell me what happened between you and Tim? He told me that you were pissed at him and he complained about his sore ass." He couldn't help but grin at the memory of Tim's expression as he told him.
Cameron felt uneasy and pulled back from John's embrace a little. Well ... she tried to pull back, but as she realized that John wasn't willing to let her out of his arms, she decided not to use force. She looked into his eyes slightly unsure of how he would react to what she did. She realized that she probably went too far by pushing Tim so forcefully, but there was nothing she could do now. She sighed: "He was being too intrusive. He tried to kiss me and I pushed him so that he fell. I may have been too forceful."
John grinned: "Well, that's the shortest possible version of what happened. Perhaps it really wasn't necessary to push him so hard, but I know that it's hard for you. I'm sure you learned how to react in such situation and you'll be gentler next time."
Cameron smiled relieved that John wasn't angry with her and craned her neck to kiss him. "Thank you John, for not being angry with me."
"How could I be? I was angry that you ran away, but not with you. I was angry with me, because I allowed my mum to separate us. I promise you, I'll never again let anyone separate us."
Cameron smiled at him lovingly. She couldn't believe how their relationship evolved in such a short time. Then she remembered that John wanted to talk to her about some important, unpleasant things. "John? You said that you have to tell me some important things?" She looked into his eyes questioningly.
John sighed and released her out of his embrace. But Cameron did something, he would never expect from her. After he straightened, moving slightly away form her, she simply shuffled on the settee closer to him so that she could hug him. Such a simple gesture, but it made him breathless. Cameron, a machine, was longing for a touch and was even initiating it! Way to think, tiger! She's so much more than just a machine! She's … she's … she's Cameron, MY Cameron!
The closeness of Cameron's body sent warm feelings through John's mind and suddenly he felt much better. He only had to cast a look into her happy eyes, gazing at him from few inches apart, expecting him to tell her what he wanted to tell her and he knew that they would master every obstacle. He put his arms back where they belonged so perfectly – around Cameron's body.
"Yeah, I've found out that my mom and Derek were plotting against us." He paused and saw surprise in Cameron's eyes. She wanted to ask something, but changed her mind. She'd let John tell her everything and would not interrupt him. "They were trying to convince Tim and Andrea that we would be single and in desperate need of a girlfriend and boyfriend." His voice suddenly became mocking and anger was slowly building up again. John knew that he would get angry every time he'd remember what his mother and uncle tried to do. "They somehow convinced them that they could try to hit on us and that they wouldn't object such relationships." He paused and looked into Cameron's eyes, that were slightly bigger than normal and he could see something like disappointment in them. I hope that she's not disappointed in me?
He sighed again: "They were so eager to split us, to prevent us from getting too close that they even used someone, we knew for just a few hours." He shook his head and tried to calm his anger. For a second he closed his eyes, but opened them in surprise as he felt Cameron's velvet lips on his, gently brushing against his own.
"John. Please, don't get too upset. I already thought that there was something strange going on, but I didn't know that Sarah would go so far. When it comes to Derek, it doesn't really surprise me, but Sarah …" Cameron shook her head slightly in disbelief. "However, I can understand why they did it. I'm a machine and you're a man, who will someday lead the humanity in the war against machines, against my species. In their eyes I represent your enemies and I shouldn't be allowed to be too close to you. Maybe…" She swallowed hard: "Maybe they're right and I shouldn't be too close to you…" She hung her head, but before she could continue, she felt John's hand, cupping her jaw and lifting her head gently. After she gave in to his efforts and looked into his eyes, she saw how resolutely he looked into her brown ones: "Cam, don't you ever again say something like you just did! I don't give a damn what mom, Derek or the whole world thinks!" He paused to look into her confused eyes. "You are the one whom I want to be together with. I know that you are a machine. Hell, I've seen what lies beneath this flawless skin of yours." His hand gently stroke her cheek and caused her to smile involuntarily. "And I don't care! Look … they say that what's important is what lies within. They're right! And I don't mean your endoskeleton … I mean your soul, the real you, the Cameron I love. You may have been built, while I have been born. So what? What's the difference? Did you have anything to say in it? Did I? No, we're here, because someone … in my case my mom and my father, in your case Skynet, decided that they wanted to create us. It's just … I suppose at least … that my parents had more fun in laying a template to me than Skynet had with you."
He giggled upon seeing Cameron's astonished face, her eyes gazing at him intently. After she comprehended what he just said, she suddenly burst into giggles too. For few seconds they both just sat there, held each other and giggled like crazy. John was mesmerized to see the supposedly so emotionless Cameron giggle like any teenage girl. My God, how could I have been so blind? How could I have missed that the girl of my dreams was right here under my nose and I never even realized it. What a moron!
After they managed to become serious again, John gently stroke Cameron's cheek and let his thumb gently glide over her full lips. "What I wanted to say, Cam … I'm not giving up on you. Not for my mom's sake, not for Derek's not for anyone's. I want you by my side and if the rest of the world has a problem with it than it's their problem." He paused to give her a kiss and enjoy the bright look in her eyes. "I know that in the future it will get hard for us. But I'm sure we'll find a way. Because I'm not going to do this alone!"
Cameron's hand cupped his cheek and she gazed intently into his eyes: "John, I'm just stating the facts. I know that there will be a lot of people who'll try to interfere with our relationship and I just want to protect you." She kissed him. "I hope that Sarah and Derek will eventually come around and understand. But I think that they'll accept the truth because they love you so much, not because they'd be ready to admit that I'm different and worthy of your love."
John was slightly dumbfounded at her words. She was deducting the truth so perfectly that he couldn't help but look at her admiringly. "Cam, I know all that. But I still don't care. Whether they accept us because they love me or because of something else, it doesn't matter. I'm sure that they'll eventually understand just how much different you are. But you'll have to show them this side of yourself too. Not just the blank terminator face. In time they'll understand that this is real you."
He hugged her close and whispered in her ear: "I love my Cameron." He kissed her earlobe and pulled back to look into her eyes: "And now lift your butt up and go to the bathroom and prepare yourself for the supper!"
Cameron looked at him surprised, but caught on his mischievous smile so she answered in style: "Is this a way to talk to a lady, John Connor? I think you have a lot to learn. You should improve your behavior considerably if you want to impress me." She lifted her chin high in faked indignation and stood up. After she turned towards the bathroom, John tried to swat her gently at her butt, but before his hand could reach its destination, Cameron was already two steps away, running for the bathroom giggling. John remained sitting and smiling to himself, while he shook his head. She's evil! I fell in love with an evil woman!
While Cameron was in the bathroom, John flopped on the bed and smiled goofily. He was so happy that he finally admitted his feelings to the girl of his dreams. He realized how stupid he behaved before, how nasty he was towards Cameron. She only ever wanted to protect me; she wanted to be with me. And I … I was an idiot, an archetype of idiot. He shook his head slightly and sighed contently. He was finally ready to stand to his feelings. He knew that he would have to explain everything to his mother, but he suddenly had no fear.
He heard that the door to the bathroom opened and turned his head towards it. The sight made him gasp and shoot up into sitting position. Cameron came out of the bathroom, but the way she looked took his breath away. Her hair was wet and framed her delicate features perfectly, only underlining her beauty exponentially. She wore a white fluffy bathrobe, but for some reason, which was beyond his reasoning, she chose his, which was, normally, far too big for her and she looked like a small girl enveloped in it. She cocked her head slightly and looked at him with small smile: "Why are you staring at me John?"
John swallowed hard and managed: "You look so … so … so beautiful, Cam!" He shot up and closed the distance to her in a heartbeat. He enveloped her in his arms and pressed an eager kiss on her lips. He didn't want to break it, but mother nature forced him, for he needed to take a breath. After they broke the kiss, Cameron looked up into his eyes with that longing look of hers. "John?"
He finally managed to get out of the dizziness and breathed heavily: "Yeah Cam?"
"You should get ready for the supper too." Her voice was flat, but with barely hidden amusement and her eyes sparkled with laughter.
John shook his head again: "Cam?"
"Yes, John?"
Damn! How can she speak in such sweet voice? She knows exactly what she's doing to me! She's seducing me! As if I would need seducing! "Why are you making fun of me?"
"Who? Me? I'm not making fun of you. I'm just teasing you a little. I think I'm entitled to it … as payback for your behavior in the last months. Don't you agree?" Cameron's voice was now returning to her normal manner of speaking and she gazed at him somehow challenging.
John suddenly felt guilty as hell. She's so right. I've been such an asshole to her and if this is her payback then … well, then I'll accept it and even ask for more! "Cameron, I'm so sorry. Really. I know that I behaved absolutely wrong and if you want to pay it back to me, I'm ready to accept any punishment. Really!"
Cameron's eyes smiled at him and mirrored the expression of her lips perfectly: "John, I don't want to punish you. I'm glad that you finally realized that all I always wanted was to protect you, to be near you. But if I'm teasing you a bit … I think it's normal between people who love each other."
John smiled relieved and nodded: "You're quite right Cam. It's just … I'm not used to your subtle humor. You never showed it before."
"There are many things that I am capable of which you never saw before. If you play your cards right, you might begin to unravel them." Cameron smiled at him seductively and caused his breath to catch in his throat.
"Is that a promise?" He gazed into her mischievous eyes.
"Maybe …" She breathed gently into his ear, but then shoved him towards bathroom: "Now … go and get ready. I have to dry my hair later too."
John's head began spinning and many inappropriate thoughts suddenly tumbled across his mind. But he restrained himself and just nodded with a foolish grin on his face. He turned towards the bathroom and as he was at the door, he cast a look over his shoulder towards Cameron, just to see that she looked after him too and smiled at his look.
John was doing his best to be out of the bathroom as quick as possible, just to be with his girlfriend again. Funny! Few days ago I was even angry when she was near, but now I can't be without her for a minute. Really strange!
With Cameron taking his bathrobe, he simply put on a fresh pair of boxer shorts. He returned to the room and immediately noticed Cameron, sitting in the front of a mirror. He grinned but his grin vanished as she gave no sign to have noticed that he exited the bathroom. He slowly went over to her and as he saw her face in the mirror, he gasped in shock. Cameron's cheeks were completely wet from tears, streaming down them. Her eyes gazed unfocused into her reflection, but he could tell that she didn't look at herself.
In shock, he gasped: "Cam! What's wrong?"
At first she didn't respond, so he crouched behind her and hugged her from behind. Her eyes snapped to look at his in the mirror, but she still didn't react to his question.
"Cam? Please, tell me what's wrong? Have I done something to upset you?"
She finally seemed to get out of her trance and shook her head while wiping her cheeks with her hands: "No John, everything's fine."
"Don't give me that shit, Cameron! You can't possibly think I'll accept your explanation that everything's all right, when you're crying like rain. No, Cam, I hope that we are over that. I hope that you will tell me everything; especially if it makes you sad or upsets you. And something definitely made you sad." John's face was serious. He cared for her too much to accept such a foolish statement.
Cameron looked into his eyes for a moment and could see that he meant what he said. He wouldn't accept no for an answer. She would have to tell him everything. So she turned the swivel chair she was sitting on and looked into his eyes. She put her arms around him and laid her head on his shoulder.
John was worried to death what happened that Cameron was crying, but he was still happy that she turned and sought refugee in his embrace. He squeezed her tightly and whispered: "Cam, please, tell me what's bothering you. Please!"
After a second and few sniffs, Cameron finally raised her head and looked into his eyes. She could saw only sincerity and love in them, so she decided to tell him everything.
After another sniff she began: "John, as of lately, I've been remembering things that happened before I tried to kill future you, things that happened before I infiltrated the resistance camp. I don't know why, I can only assume it's because of the explosion. It changed me so much that I still don't know the exact extent of the changes." She paused to look into his eyes, which revealed surprise, but not as big as she expected. He probably already assumed that. "So, I began to remember things I don't like. Things, terrible things I did when I was still under Skynet's command." She hung her head in shame.
John gently put his finger under her chin and forced her to look into his eyes again: "Cam, I know that wasn't you. So, please, don't be ashamed of it. You, my Cameron, would never do such terrible things, right?"
Cameron nodded, relieved that he wasn't mad at her and continued: "Do you remember when I thought I was some Allison girl?" She looked into his face and as he nodded, she continued: "Well, at the time I thought that it was probably another infiltrator profile. But now, now I remembered everything." She paused again.
"When did you remember it? Now? While I was in the bathroom?"
Cameron just nodded. "Yes, while you were in the bathroom. I don't know why, but these flashbacks occur completely randomly and I never know when it happens. Anyway … I remembered who this girl, Allison Young, really was. She …. she was someone I killed and was modeled after. That's what my series designation also means. TOK – template of kill. John! I killed this girl, just to get to you! I killed her, because I was angry at her! I killed her, because she lied to me!" Her voice was rising with every word and in the end she was almost screaming while she was at the same time dissolving in tears. She slumped into his shoulder and sobbed raggedly.
John was completely flabbergasted. He already assumed that this girl Allison must have been an important part of Cameron's past, but still … Cameron remembering that she killed her only confirmed his theory, while at the same time he felt profound sadness that Cameron must have remembered what she did. Her reaction showed him unmistakably just how much she had changed. This was a girl, sobbing in his arms, not a terminator. Technically she was a machine, but she had a soul, she was a person, a beautiful person who would have to deal with the fact, that she did some monstrosities in the past, while she wasn't even aware of herself yet. He gently stroke the back of her head and tried to calm her: "Shh, Cam, don't. It wasn't you. It was Skynet. You may not blame yourself for what it did."
Cameron somehow managed to get her sobbing under control and turned her red, tearing eyes to look into his gentle ones: "But I did it! It was me, no one else! ME!"
John intensified his look: "Cameron, you have to understand something. I love you for who you are! You may have done some terrible things in the past, but … with your experiences, with your emotions, would you have done it again?"
Cameron shook her head vehemently as if he would be asking the stupidest question of all: "Of course not!"
John smiled at her: "There, you see? You're not to blame for what that other person in your body did." He stroke her cheek to wipe new tears away: "Cam, I would never resent you for what that Skynet person did! Believe me!"
Cameron finally understood that he really didn't hate her for what she did and smiled through her tears again: "I love you so much John. You're the only one who was ever prepared to give me a second chance after I did so terrible things." She hung her head and after a second she looked into his eyes again: "John, will you ever be able to forgive me that I tried to kill you? After I went bad?"
John smiled at her sad eyes, gazing up at him: "Cam, it's the same in this case as it was with Allison. That wasn't you, that was Skynet." Then a thought crossed his mind: "Cam? After I reinserted your chip in that garage ... were you fixed? Did I do anything?"
Cameron hung her head for a second, but then she looked at him with guilty eyes. Before she began to talk, she slightly shook her head: "No, John, you didn't do anything. After I rebooted, the kill command was still active."
John's eyes widened in surprise. Sure, he was assuming that that was the case, but still … to hear it so directly. "Then why didn't you kill me?"
"You gave me a choice John. Nobody ever before gave me a choice. You considered me valuable, you saw a person in me. So I decided to override the command and not to kill you. Besides … I loved you."
"So, you have now … what … no mission? No kill John Connor or protect John Connor?" John was finally reaching to the point and was on the verge of perhaps the most important discovery about the wonder, named Cameron Phillips.
Cameron shook her head: "No, the kill command is still active. Everything that future you changed and programmed is gone."
John's eyes went wide: "Wait a minute! Does that mean that you're going to kill me someday?"
Cameron grinned at him and shook her head resolutely: "No John! I will not kill you. The kill order might still be active, but I'm my own person now and I choose what I want to do. And I want to be with you, I want to protect you, I want to love you. The command to kill you … well, I overrode it and firewalled it so heavily that even another car bomb couldn't change that." She snuggled close to him and looked into his eyes longingly: "Do you believe me, John?"
John couldn't help but smile back at her and kissed her gently: "Yes, Cam, I believe you." Then he leaned back a little to look into her eyes: "But you have to promise me something."
Cameron tilted her head and looked at him: "What?"
"Whenever you have any problems at all, whenever you remember anything bad, please, don't close yourself before me. Come to me, tell me and together we'll solve the problem. I want to help you in every possible way. Agreed?"
Cameron was feeling so happy that she could start crying just for being so lucky. She nodded: "Yes , John, I promise!"
John smiled at her and kissed her again: "We should get ready to go down to supper." His face suddenly fell: "I'll have to have a talk with my mom." Then he looked into Cameron's eyes again: "I want you to be with me."
Cameron was slightly confused: "Are you sure John? Wouldn't it be better if you were alone?"
"No! It's about you and me, it's about our relationship and I don't want to hide. She'll have to deal with it." John was acting completely confident that it was the correct choice.
Cameron smiled at him: "If you really want me … I'll be happy to be by your side."
John slowly rose to his feet, pulling Cameron with him: "You should dry your hair, as you said." He caressed her still damp hair: "Although you're even more beautiful with wet hair, you know."
Cameron was looking slightly embarrassed but smiled at him happily: "Than you, John." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and scurried towards bathroom to get ready for the supper.
TBC