In this chapter Cameron will do something unexpected. For some readers maybe even unbelievable. But I believe that she can do it. The whole chapter is about Cameron and John and I hope it's not too boring.

Chapter 23 – Promises Given

"So, we shall meet here few minutes before six, right?" Andrea asked again just to be sure not to make any mistakes.

"Yes!" Cameron stressed slightly annoyed. No wonder, it had been the sixth time since they left the store that Andrea asked her the same question. How many times does she have to hear the same information to finally memorize it? She even huffed a little and went towards the elevators: "I'm going to our room now." She declared completely unnecessary, but felt like this could be the cue for Andrea to finally stop talking and let her go to John. Sarah just grinned wickedly from aside and let Cameron send the nice, but a little annoying blonde away. I wouldn't be so polite.

Andrea understood the situation quite well, but didn't let herself be influenced or brought into bad mood. She smiled sweetly at Cameron and Sarah: "OK, we'll be here on time. Bye for now." She waved her hand, turned towards the exit and left them.

Sarah sighed: "I thought she'd never leave. I must say that you did very well, Cameron. I don't know if I'd treat her as nicely as you did." Did I really just say to tin miss that she's more patient and nicer than me?

Cameron shrugged: "She's not bad. She just talks too much."

Sarah nodded: "Exactly. So, we'll meet here about five minutes before six, OK?" She grinned at the thought that she just asked the same question which obviously irritated Cameron … and her too.

Cameron confirmed wit impatient voice: "Correct. We'll be on time."

"Oh, I have no doubts about that since it's you who takes care of the schedule. Were it upon John … well, in that case I'd have my reservations." Sarah grinned and went towards the stairs.

Cameron frowned after her but chose not to comment. She turned to the elevator, which just arrived and stepped in. She could hardly wait to show John what she had bought.

After entering their room, she could immediately see that John was really asleep. But it was obvious that he was having a nightmare, for he trashed around the bed and mumbled something she couldn't even understand. Suddenly she felt worried for him, dropped the shopping bad and bolted to his side.

Sitting down on the bed she noticed that his face was glistening with sweat and he still trashed around with his arms, mumbling. Before she could put her hand on his face, she could finally understand few words. 'No … don't, please … Cameron!" Upon hearing him calling her name in the nightmare, she suddenly felt fear rising inside her. Am I hurting him in his dreams? Did I do anything to him?

After a second of hesitation, she put her hand on his cheek and called softly: "John, wake up please! You're having a bad dream. Wake up!" John calmed down immediately after she put her hand on his face and she decided to try something more, bowed to him and kissed him gently. Before her lips left his, she heard him moaning and his eyes fluttered open. For a second he looked at her as if he wouldn't know her, but after he recognized her, he threw his arms around her. "Cameron! You're OK!" He squeezed her tightly and buried his head in her hair.

Cameron was thoroughly confused. She really expected that he was dreaming about her, torturing or even killing him, but his reaction showed her that he was probably dreaming of something else. She gently caressed the back of his head: "Shhh, John, it's all right. It was just a dream."

After few seconds John retreated a little but still held her in his arms while looking in her eyes. But before he could say anything Cameron asked: "What were you dreaming about? Or you still don't want to talk about it?"

John remembered how hurt she looked after he told her he wouldn't want to talk to her about his dreams and decided that he shouldn't keep it from her any more. Their relationship changed so much that he really didn't want to hide such things from her. He sighed: "Cameron, I'm really sorry that I didn't talk to you about my nightmares before. I simply wasn't ready to talk about them. It wasn't because of you and I could never talk about them with my mom." He finally let her out of his tight embrace and laid his hands on the sides of her face: "The problem is, I'm dreaming about you."

"Am I hurting you in your dreams John? You were calling my name in distress and I thought…"

Before she could continue, John cut her off and shook his head vigorously: "No, Cam! You're not hurting me!" He swallowed hard before he continued: "YOU'RE the one who gets hurt. I dream of losing you. I dream of you dying while protecting me!" He didn't realize but he suddenly started talking much louder and began to shake her. "And that's something I can't endure. I can't go on without you." His hands suddenly fell from her face and he again enveloped her in a tight hug. "I can't lose you, Cam!"

Cameron felt relieved but at the same time pained. Relieved that she wasn't the one hurting her John in his dreams and pained that he suffered because he dreamt of losing her. She returned his embrace and whispered in his ear: "I'm here John. I'm not going anywhere."

After few seconds John calmed down and let her out of his arms, just to hold her at her shoulders and look her directly in her eyes: "Don't ever leave me Cameron. Promise that you'll stay with me."

Cameron suddenly hung her head and her face scrunched in pain. Instantly John's mood changed: "What's wrong Cameron?"

She forced herself to look at him and he could see that there were tears gathering in her eyes. He simply couldn't understand what could have caused her such distress after he asked her not to leave him. "Cam, please, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

Cameron looked in his eyes painfully aware that she shouldn't tell him the truth, for Future John forbade her to tell him some things and this was one of them. But looking into his eyes, expressing his deep worry, seeing fear in his eyes, seeing his love for her, she suddenly felt torn between her mission, between her loyalty to the Future John and her love for this John. She gasped for air, although she really didn't need to breathe. The pain in her chest became almost unbearable and she felt how tears began to flow down her cheeks. "Please, John, I don't want to lie to you. But my orders are…"

John suddenly understood. He understood that Future John gave her orders to keep things from him. He understood that she didn't want to hide anything from him. He understood that she was torn between her duty and her emotions. How could I have turned into such an ass? How could I have told her to lie to me? Did I really turn into such cold, emotionless bastard? Well, no sir, I won't become alike.

"Screw your orders, Cameron!" He stopped her before she could continue. His eyes burned with fire while he gazed into her teary ones. "I don't care what future me told you. I don't care if he forbade you to tell me certain things. I want you to decide what you want. I want you to tell me everything you want to tell me. Not Future John … YOU should decide what you can tell me and what not. YOU alone! Do you understand?" His voice wasn't even raised, but cut through her like a knife. It wasn't a voice of teenage John Baum; it was the voice of General John Connor.

Cameron suddenly felt valued more than any time before. Her John told her to decide for herself, he told her that she should ignore the orders if she thought they were wrong. He considered her, he cared for her. If he really cared for her so much, then she should return his trust by trusting him too. She smiled slightly through her still flowing tears: "Thank you John. Thank you for seeing me as someone important." She paused and wiped the tears with her sleeve. "John, there are things that I kept from you. Some of them because I was ordered to, some because they could influence the future too much. But I don't want to keep them from you anymore."

John looked into her eyes encouragingly and nodded. He could see that she was struggling with her decision and didn't want to push her into anything. So he just waited, but smiled at her.

She noticed his look and felt much better. He won't force me into anything. "Future John gave me an order concerning my chip."

John furrowed his eyebrows. He got a bad feeling but didn't want to say anything yet, so he just nodded to her to continue.

"If asked the correct question I am to surrender my chip to the person, asking me that question or the person, they chose." She finally managed to choke out. She had to override some blocks in her programming to be able to tell him and it almost shocked her. She knew before that she was able to change her programming a bit, but this was a huge leap. Suddenly she realized that this opened vast possibilities for her. If she was able to override these blocks, maybe she could override others too? She'd have to analyze this possibility thoroughly.

John's face was a perfect picture of horror. "WHAT?" He managed only one word, but in his mind a tornado of feelings was spinning out of control. What did this bastard John Connor order her to? Give her chip away? Condemn herself to death? Leave me? He shook his head. "Sorry, stupid question. But … what for? Why would you have to surrender your chip? That means … that means you'd leave me? Why?"

Cameron almost felt his pain and gently put her hands on his cheeks. "I'm not sure. I think that there is possibility that an AI is being developed that could help you win the war. And I should give my chip over to enable it to be mobile. I'm the only terminator with the chip, enough sophisticated to hold an AI. The T-888 chip wouldn't be enough."

"But … does that mean you'd die? I can't let you die!"

"I don't know. But … probably yes. The AIs develop and grow very quickly and sooner or later my chip couldn't hold both of us. And this AI would be much more important than I am." Cameron forced herself to speak calmly in her best robotic manner, although she felt how the emotions threatened to overwhelm her.

John put his hands over hers and squeezed them while shaking his head: "No Cam, you're the most important person in the world for me. I won't let you do this. I can't risk losing you. Ever!"

Cameron smiled at him: "John, you know you can't stop me. If I'll ever be asked this question, I'll have to follow my orders. It will destroy me, but I'll have to do it." Suddenly tears began to gather in her eyes again. The thought of leaving John, of being unable to protect him, of losing him was unbearable. But she had her orders which had to be followed.

For a moment John looked at her in silence, desperation and fear clearly written in his eyes. Then he suddenly had an idea and his eyes lit up: "You said that you have orders to keep some information from me. Were you free to tell me this information?"

Cameron shook her head: "No, I overrode some blocks to be able to tell you." Then she looked into John's eyes, gazing at her brightly and realized the implications of this deed. "You mean … if I was able to override this order … I could be able to override the one to surrender my chip too?" Hope rose in her and reflected in her eyes too.

John nodded and smiled at her: "I believe in you, Cam. I believe that you're able to override any order. If you were able to override the kill order, if you were able to override the order to keep things from me; well, I don't see why you wouldn't be able to override this order too. You just have to try."

Cameron felt how happiness began to take over her, but a sudden thought deflated her instantly: "But John … if I override this order, then you perhaps wouldn't get the most powerful ally in the future, the ally with whose help you could win the war. I couldn't possibly leave you without every possible help to win the war." She paused and looked at him with sad eyes: "Winning the war is the most important thing. I am not."

But John had an answer ready: "Maybe you're right Cameron. But I still want you to try to override this order. I want you to be able to decide for yourself, not because you have been ordered to. If the situation occurs, we'll find a solution. I just don't want you to be forced to do it." He looked at her somehow sadly. He knew that she was right. He knew that he would need any possible help. But he couldn't even imagine the war without her by his side. Maybe he would have to, but it should happen because they both would decide that it would be the best thing to do, not because Future John told her so.

Cameron understood what John wanted to say and also saw in his eyes that he knew that he might have to let her do it. But it was more than obvious that it would break his heart and that he would allow it only if there really was no other possibility. So she decided to try to fulfill his request and nodded to him. Then she concentrated on her programming structure, trying to find a way to circumvent or even erase the order.

John saw how life vanished from her eyes and knew that she was trying to find a way to fulfill his wish. She became unresponsive and he could only wait for her to finish what she started to. And yet he worried for her. He knew very well that it was dangerous to tamper with her programming and that it could lead to unwanted results. However, he was sure she could manage it and he smiled at her unmoving face, gently stroking her cheek: "I know you can do it Cam. I have faith in you."

After few seconds life returned into her eyes and she focused on him. He felt how his heart fluttered in anticipation and gazed into her eyes for an answer. Suddenly her lips curved upside and she smiled at him. She could saw anticipation and fear in his eyes and nodded: "I could erase that order John. I'm free to decide if I will surrender my chip or not."

John's face erupted in big smile and he hugged her fiercely: "Thank you Cam. I knew you could do it!" Then he pulled back a bit, kissed her deeply and after few seconds retreated: "Believe me, we will find a way to prevent you from having to surrender your chip. No matter what, we'll find a solution. Now I want you to promise me, you will never … NEVER … surrender your chip without me." He gazed into her eyes, request clearly written all over his face.

Cameron smiled: "Promise!" After his face lightened again, she gave him a kiss and then pulled back with slightly worried face: "John?"

"Yeah, Cam?"

"While I was trying to delete this order, I remembered something else about my past." She looked insecure and perhaps even frightened a little and it didn't escape John's eye.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me Cameron." He smiled gently to her to encourage her.

"Now I know why Derek hates me so much." She began with barely audible voice and because she looked down, she didn't see the flash of surprise on John's face. "I was the one to interrogate him before I came to your camp in the future. After I killed Allison, a group of resistance fighters was captured and Derek was their CO. I interrogated them to find out how to get to you … future you." She finally lifted her head again and looked into John's eyes with insecurity. She was afraid of John's reaction, but she couldn't lie to him anymore. She learned in the past that lying to the one who meant the most to you, only resulted in bad consequences.

John sensed that it was difficult for her to talk about this and grabbed her hands and squeezed them reassuringly while nodding to her to continue.

Cameron smiled a bit strained and continued: "He told me everything. After I finished his interrogation the other machines terminated everyone except Derek. I don't know why I ordered them not to touch him. But I did. I left him an axe and put him on longer chain so that he could free himself. I also ordered that he is not to be harmed while he was searching for the base." She stopped and looked into his eyes pleadingly.

John smiled at her: "Cameron, you may not have known then but I'm sure you know now why you spared his life."

Cameron nodded: "I think I do. I was probably evolving already and I found it unnecessary to terminate him. Not unmoral, unnecessary."

John's smile widened: "You see, Cameron, that's what makes you unique. Even in that early stage of your development you already made decisions that are unthinkable for a mere terminator. That's why you're much more than just a machine."

"Aren't you mad at me, John? I did allow everyone else to be terminated." Cameron's face expressed fear, sadness and hope while she looked into his eyes, awaiting an answer.

John hugged her: "How could I be mad at you, Cameron? I knew already that you did horrible things. But that wasn't you, that was some other Cameron, Cameron who was made to kill me. But you fought your way out of the programming, you found a way to free yourself, you found a way to love me. How could I be mad at someone who fought so fiercely to become a better person? I couldn't, Cam! " He paused to brush a stray strand of her hair behind her ear and noticed how she smiled at his touch. "Would you do the same now? After you've experienced so much, would you order a human to be killed without presenting any danger?"

Cameron gave him a look as it would be the most obvious thing: "Absolutely not!"

"Then you know the answer to your fears already." John smiled at her gently. "You understand much more of the human nature than you give yourself credit for. That's one of the main reasons I fell in love with you."

Relief was clearly reflected in Cameron's eyes as she bowed to him, gave him a kiss on his cheek and put her head on his shoulder: "Thank you John. Thank you for trusting me."

Suddenly John's expression turned into serious one: "Cameron, you have to know that I understand that you've probably done bad things before you developed into what you are now. I know that you haven't always been like you're now. I know that you're not a human being. I know that there are probably things in your past I don't even want to know about." He paused to see a slight confusion and perhaps even fear written in Cameron's so expressive eyes. "But you have to know something else too. I know that all and I accept you for who and what you are. I love you and that won't change. I don't mind that you're a machine. I love you just the way you are. The past is past and I won't resent you for your deeds in the past. You're not the only one, carrying the darkness inside. I do too." He leaned towards her and whispered: "I love you … all of you, Cameron Phillips." Then he kissed her with all his passion.

After they finally let go of each other, John asked: "So, how was the shopping trip? Did you find something nice?"

Cameron grinned at him, the anguish of past few minutes already forgotten: "Yes, I did. I bought something for you too, like I said I would."

John rose from the bed and pulled her up too. "Why don't you show me what you bought? I'd like to see you in your bathing suit." He winked to her and it only made Cameron grin wider.

"Sure." She went to pick up the bag, which she dropped before, rummaged through its contents and pulled out blue trunks and threw them on the bed: "This is for you." Then she pulled out another piece of clothing, also in royal blue, and went to the bathroom: "I'll try this on." She smiled at him mischievously and vanished behind the door.

John smiled and inspected the trunks, she chose for him. After careful scrutinizing the piece of cloth, he nodded to himself. She really has good taste. I like her choice. I wonder what she chose for herself.

After a short time, the door to the bathroom opened again and Cameron strolled out of the room self assure, clad only in the tiniest bikini he ever saw. His breath caught in his throat and his eyes widened at the vision of his girlfriend.

Cameron came to stop in front of him and looked at him mischievously. She noticed the impact her appearance had on him and tilted her head: "Well John? Do you like it?"

John cursed himself for being so tongue tight and nodded. After a second, he managed to get his voice under control: "You're looking fabulous Cam. I guess you'll be in the center of attention in the wellness. Maybe I'll even have to protect you?" He smirked at her and looked into her eyes, shining like stars on the sky.

"Thank you John. I chose you trunks in same color. So that everyone will know that we belong together." She laid her forearms on his shoulders and clasped her hands behind his neck, but took good care not to press her body to his. She wanted to tease him a bit.

John accepted the game and put his hands on the sides of her waist: "That we do, Cameron. I like your choice. I like it very much."

They stayed unmoving for few seconds, just looking into each other's eyes, but then Cameron decided that she should get dressed. "I think it wouldn't be exactly appropriate if I'd go out dressed only in bikini, right?" She grinned at John.

"Oh, I definitely wouldn't mind." John grinned back. "But I don't want other guys to see you like this … outside the wellness."

"Selfish!" Cameron lightly slapped his hand while she wriggled out of his embrace and turned towards the closet.

"Evil!" Answered John smiling broadly.

Cameron opened the closet and suddenly stopped dead in her tracks. Then she turned to John with creased forehead. "John?"

John was still smiling at her, but her sudden change of mood wiped the broad smile from his face: "Yes, Cameron?"

"Did you go out while I was shopping?" Her voice was demanding and her eyes looked at him questioningly.

Oh dear! I should have known she'd notice that my clothes are folded differently than they were before. Stupid John! He frantically searched for a way out of her scrutinizing look without revealing the whole truth. So he decided that partial truth would be the best solution.

He quickly admonished himself for being unprepared and answered with a smile: "Yeah, I did. After you left, I went to talk to Derek. You know … the man to man talk, I mentioned before." I hope that she won't insist on anything more. I think I did it quite convincingly. He smiled at her and tried to maintain a natural smile.

Cameron gazed at him suspiciously. She could tell that he was telling her the truth, but she also got a feeling that this was not the whole truth. His behavior was a little off. Someone else wouldn't notice it, but she knew him all too good to fall to his deceiving maneuvers. She kept gazing at him for few seconds to see if he'd begin to squirm, but he just smiled at her broadly and didn't show any signs of caving in. So she decided that his explanation was, at least for the time being, satisfactory. But she would find out what he hid from her. One way or another, she would find out. So her gaze softened: "OK John, if you say so." She turned back to the closet, letting him know that he didn't deceive her.

He could see it on her face that she knew he was hiding something but didn't want to force him into telling her yet and sighed inwardly relieved. She knows me way too good. I believe that I couldn't deceive her even if my life depended on it. But I'm sure I'll be forgiven. He maintained his smile: "Yes, that's the truth Cam. We talked about you…"

Now, THAT got her attention. Her head snapped around to look at him: "What? About me? Why?"

He smiled. She's really sweet when she's so inquisitive. "Yeah, about you. We agreed that he'll back off and leave us be. He's not that bad, you know."

Cameron looked at him incredulously. "He agreed to back off? After everything I've done to him?"

"Yes, he did. He begins to understand that you're not just another terminator. He saw your behavior these days and you confused the hell out of him. You're probably the first machine he admits to be different. And that's big deal for Derek Reese."

"I'm not sure why would I confuse him at all. He never showed anything but hatred towards me." Cameron still couldn't understand that Derek would be ready to see her as a person.

"Well, dear, allow yourself be surprised." John finally stood up and strolled to her. "Everyone changes. Just look at yourself. You changed from a soulless terminator into a vibrant, compassionate girl in love. I changed from capital pain in the ass into a normal guy, just by admitting that I fell in love with you. My mom changed from open hatred towards you into someone who even hugs you. So … why would it be so impossible for Derek to change?"

Cameron thought about changes that John just pictured and looked into his eyes with small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth: "I guess you're right John." Then she stepped to him, craned her neck to kiss him on his cheek and breathed into his ear: "Thank you for explaining."

John grinned at her: "Am I really explaining things to you again or are you just pulling my leg?"

Cameron pouted at him: "I'm not pulling your leg. If I did, I'd probably tear it away."

"That was so not funny Cameron!" John complained not exactly serious but with distasteful expression.

Cameron looked at him slightly ashamed: "Was it not? I'll probably have to work on my sense of humor, I guess."

John laughed and took her face in his hands: "Yes you'll have to, Cam. Not every joke is always appropriate. But I love you nonetheless."

Cameron smiled relieved: "And I love you." She paused: "And yes, you are explaining things to me again. I'm not pulling your leg."

"Good! I wouldn't want to lose it!" John laughed and let her go to finally find something to wear.

TBC