Author's Notes: Well nothing going on really in my life you know, except for the tons of work from school. But writing this fic really relieves the stress. I had an essay for my English class where I had to analyze a picture or commercial and I chose the final scene of Injustice Gods Among Us issue #4 where Superman kills the Joker. I really hope I get a good grade on it. Anyways, enjoy the chapter R&R please!
Alfred was up bright and early to attend to his daily rituals around the manor. He prepares his master's breakfast and sets out a nice dark navy business suit, a light blue undershirt and a silk periwinkle blue tie for him, since he had a meeting today. After Bruce eats, showers, and changes; he drives off in his black Lamborghini, leaving the butler to do his day-to-day tasks. Alfred takes care of his master's social obligations and keeping up his public image. Not only that but he takes care of the domestic chores of tidying up the manor and doing prep work in advance for Bruce's lunch and dinner. But on top of all that the butler had a new job, taking care of the Batcave's deranged houseguest. Alfred was a bit surprised to find out that his master had decided to let the psychotic clown stay. Obviously the well-mannered butler had his objections but in the end he had to follow orders. He was to bring the clown breakfast and leave immediately. Bruce stressed that he was not supposed to talk to Joker at all. Though Bruce made it clear with Joker that he would get an express ticket back to Arkham if he harmed Alfred in any way, that doesn't really ensure his manservant's safety. Just as a precaution, the billionaire gave Alfred a taser and a way to contact with him instantly if Joker tried anything funny. The butler prepared a cheese omelet with onion, green pepper, and tomato. Along with two strips of bacon, sausages, a side of hash browns, some toast and some freshly squeezed orange juice to drink. With a tray full of food and a weapon hidden in his person he made the descent down the stairs that led to the cave. He found that Joker was wide awake and merely staring at him. Alfred paused a bit, after almost being attacked yesterday he had his reservations of venturing closer towards the lunatic.
"Oh come now, I won't bite… much," said the jester as a wide smile spread across his lips and he laughed loudly. Joker was mocking Alfred for being fearful, but the ever poised butler wasn't going to let the clown continue to scare him. Alfred, with calm strides, approached Joker and silently set the tray in front of him. Joker smacked his lips as he laid hungry eyes on the breakfast. He grabbed the fork and knife and paused, this made the butler nervous seeing Joker have the sharp metal utensils. Next time he'd make him eat with his hands. That's if there'll be a next time. Joker merely started giggling softly to himself as he smiled at the nervous yet stoned face man in front of him. "Do I frighten you that much Jeeves that you cringe at the sight of me having a knife in my hand?" Alfred didn't answer, though he did have to hold himself back from responding to the clown getting his name wrong again. "Lighten up Riff Raff; what happened yesterday was nothing personal. I didn't hurt you and Brucey made it clear about not harming a single scarce hair on that balding head of yours. So no hard feelings right, you don't have to act like I can tear your face off at any moment. Well I could, but I won't, so let's start on a new foot, how 'bout it?"
"Well if you may cease from referring to me as cliché butler names from television and other media that would be a start," responded the butler sardonically.
Joker stabbed his fork into one of the sausages and took a bite. "Consider it done…" He swallowed the food in his mouth and took a sip of juice. "Alfred," he smiled after a slight pause. He took another sip and then began cutting into the omelet. "Gotta say this grub look great, I might have to kidnap you to be my personal cook," joked the jester as he took a bite of the omelet. It still unsettled him hearing the madman talk like that, he didn't know whether the lunatic was really joking or disclosing future plans. After taking a few more bites and savoring each item he paused and stared at Alfred with those haunting eyes of his. "Now why are you so nervous around me, Alfie? I know that's not a banana in your pocket, the Bats left you with a weapon to defend yourself if I got… well a little crazy right," smiled Joker as he pointed to Alfred's pants pocket with the knife.
Alfred gulped hard at how dead on the Joker figured him out. "How – how did you…"
"Figure out you're carrying a taser. Well knowing my dear Batsy, I knew he wouldn't trust me with you around. He's probably, like you, thinking I'll go against my word and waste you while he's away. And the taser part well, out of all his little gadgets a taser would surely knock me out and it's a simplistic tool any moron can operate it," explained the clown as he awarded his lengthy explanation with a few more bites of his meal. "Honestly, I'm hurt. I was really trying to be a good clown and for what? For Batsy not to trust me," said the Caliph of Clowns with a big and dramatic frown. At that point Alfred really couldn't tell whether or not Joker was kidding. That fake expression and the sarcasm in his voice were a dead giveaway but there was something in the madman's eyes that didn't match. His eyes seemed sad, as if he was truly hurt. Before the butler could ponder that thought any longer that sadness disappeared. "So where is my Batman?"
"Master Bruce is at a meeting," answered Alfred simply.
"Oh, well that's too bad; he's gonna probably be a while, huh?" Alfred responded with a nod. The jester took a few more bites from each item and finished his juice. He set the tray on the counter and continued to smile at Alfred as he cocked his head slightly to the side. "Would you like to play a game, Alfred?" asked Joker with a wide grin.
It was midday when Bruce left the meeting and headed back to the manor. Throughout the whole conference he couldn't concentrate, he had Alfred in the back of his mind. Was leaving him alone with Joker such a good idea? He hadn't gotten any word from the emergency device that would contact him if anything went wrong. That was a good sign right? What if Joker got Alfred by surprise before he could use the taser or contact him? All these thoughts plagued his mind; he just prayed Alfred was safe.
As soon as he parked his car in the garage, he rushed into the manor. "Alfred." He called out but got no response. "Alfred!" he said a bit louder as he moved about. He made his way closer to the grandfather clock and saw that the entrance was slightly opened. Before he could call out Alfred's name again he heard the Clown Prince of Crime's hysteric laughter. Bruce rushed into the cave, how could he be so careless?! He knew it this was a bad idea! But when he came to the scene his eyes couldn't believe what was in front of him.
"Ha! I won again! That's checkmate Alfie boy!" laughed Joker as he captured Alfred's king.
"Bollocks, I almost had you that time!" cursed Alfred as he crossed his arms.
"Oooo you were close I'll give you that, I'm just too good," smiled Joker as he nonchalantly brushed some hair from his face. He looked up and saw Bruce staring at them incredulously with a hint of anger in those baby blues. "Oh, oh, daddy's home and I haven't done my homework, looks like we can't play anymore, Alfie."
Alfred turned; cleared away the chess set and approached his master. "Forgive me Master Bruce, I was merely entertaining him so he wouldn't get into trouble," said Alfred in his own defense.
"I thought I made it clear that you weren't supposed to interact with him," said Bruce sternly.
"Sheesh Bats, haven't ya heard, all work and no play makes Alfred a dull boy. It was just a few innocent games of chess. You act like I gouged his eyes out with my queen," scoffed the jester. Bruce redirected his eyes at Joker.
"I'll go prepare lunch then," sighed Alfred sensing that his presence was no longer needed and that those two were going to face off once again.
Bruce approached the grinning man and stared daggers at him. "Why are you being such a stick in the mud? I didn't hurt him or anything," smiled innocently the jester as he cleaned the dirt from under his nails. Bruce grabbed Joker by the collar and brought him close; the madman couldn't help but admire those striking blue eyes.
"What kind of game are you playing?!" growled Bruce.
"Why are you getting your tights in a bunch I didn't DO anything!?" spat back the Harlequin of Hate. The billionaire merely shoved the clown away from him and began to walk off.
"I don't ever want to see you talking to Alfred again, do you hear me!" shouted Bruce as he turned one last time to face the pale man. At that moment he saw that Joker had his head low, he was unable to discern any emotion.
"I was really trying to be a good clown, but I get your message loud and clear Bats," he said softly. Bruce was too livid to want to find out whether the clown was mocking him or not, he needed to leave and he did.
He went upstairs and closed the entrance behind him. Afterwards he went to the kitchen to continue his earlier talk with Alfred. What was he thinking? He specifically told him to just leave Joker his food and get out. The less time he was in the clown's presence would insure his safety. But then again, maybe he shouldn't have let Alfred down the cave by himself; maybe he should prepare the cell in the cave and have the Joker stay there. So much doubt was coursing through his thoughts, why did he have to make such mistakes and be so careless? As soon as he came in he saw the butler attentively cutting up sandwiches and stirring lemonade.
"So has the young master come to dispute with me as well?" asked Alfred rhetorically.
"Alfred, what were you doing down there. I said get it and get out, you had no reason to be in the cave for that long," said Bruce sternly.
"I was merely entertaining your guest so…"
"Don't you understand Alfred?! He's dangerous! He could've KILLED you!" interrupted Bruce.
"DON'T YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT!" shouted Alfred losing his composure. Bruce's rage immediately died out, he merely stared at Alfred. "Forgive me Master Bruce, but I'm well aware what that lunatic is capable of. I don't need to be reminded of the atrocities and the misery he's caused. I wasn't the one who brought this beast of a man here; it was you who chose to save him. Either you view him as redeemable and worth saving or you come to your senses and see him for the lost cause that he is, you can't have it both ways Master Bruce. If you must know I was curious to see where I fall in those lines. Whether I wished death on the madman or could see why you keep trying to find alternatives, and frankly I saw that the man is definitely ill. Whether he can be cured I may not know but you need to find out where you see this man. Last night you were so guilt ridden for causing him pain yet you're not passed letting your rage get the better of you. I worry for you Master Bruce, I implore you settle your thoughts and decide whether or not you are capable to provide the 'help' you wish to instill onto the clown," spoke Alfred as he finished assembling the sandwiches on the plate. He then washed his hands in the sink and proceeded out of the kitchen. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a few errands to run," he spoke with that ever proper demeanor as he left his master's presence.
Bruce was left dumbfound from the butler's scornful and lengthy lecture. He couldn't argue with him, Alfred was right. Bruce was always doubtful where he stood with Joker. At one moment he pitied him and thought he could try to help the crazed man, while the next he found himself pummeling the lunatic's face in the concrete. He sighed heavily and understood Alfred's advice; decide whether he would keep the Joker here for his recovery or risk sending him back to the asylum. In all good consciousness he didn't feel right sending Joker back to Arkham, not until he could be sure the facility was free from abuse and corruption, which could take some time to do. Then again for his and Alfred's safety, he couldn't have Joker free in the Batcave. There was always the possibility the clown will fall back on destructive tendencies and destroy his home or worse. That cell in the cave would have to do; it would keep the clown contained and out of harm's way. He made his decision, grabbed the tray of sandwiches along with two cups of lemonade and began his journey back to the cave.