"I don't know Dale. It just happened - or didn't happen." I sighed, staring down at the group below.
"I'd never have thought it until I saw you two last night." He continued, bringing the binoculars away from his face to look at me.
The night before had been awkward.
As soon as Daryl had gone, I could move again - and I didn't hesitate. I silently passed Dale and went straight to my tent, curled up and ignored the world right through to this morning.
Now Dale had me cornered on top of the RV.
"Likewise. I don't know what happened. It just... Did." I sighed, slumping down into the chair. All this sighing sent pain through my rib cage, but I tried hard to push it to the back of my mind.
"And how do you feel about it? And him?" He asked, looking away from me.
"I don't know."
"You didn't seem like you were trying to stop him. That's something." He shrugged, but I shook my head vigorously.
"No! I was probably caught up in the moment or something." I rushed.
"Right." He said, drawing out the words. I rolled my eyes, but thought about his words.
He's right, annoyingly. I didn't try and stop him. In fact, I was dying for him to - what? Kiss me? I don't know what I wanted.
But what had made him get there in the first place? He obviously knew what he wanted when he touched my skin.
I felt my face burn and goosebumps raise up all over my skin again.
"Besides, there's something else we need to talk about." Dale said lowly, motioning for someone below to come up. I silently snickered, humoured at the fact that there was something more pressing.
Glenn climbed to the top of the RV, his face set once again in its worried position and I felt an immense sense of guilt wash over me.
"Hey guys." He said solemnly, sitting in front of me.
"I called you up here because we need to sort out this walker situation. We've got to tell the group soon." Dale said quietly.
"I can't! Maggie will kill me!" Glenn blurted, but Dale shushed him.
"Keep it down. I think we need to."
"You do know that the group are going to go nuts?" I muttered, staring at Dale.
"What choice do we have? Better to tell them now then to let them find out." Dale said, his voice getting higher.
"When do we tell them?" Glenn asked, his head low.
"Tomorrow. We'll all be gathered at breakfast, so we'll do it then." I said firmly.
"I've got a bad feeling about this..." Glenn mumbled, and I nodded in agreement.
"Me too. But there's not a lot we can do. It's not our land, and it's not our barn." Dale sighed.
"It's settled, then." I mumbled, standing up and stretching.
As dale and Glenn slipped into quiet conversation, I took that as my cue to leave.
I hopped off the last rung of the RV ladder and wandered to the fire where Alex was sat. He looked up at me and waved, and I smiled.
"Oh, Sam, can you do the run to Sophia's car with Carol? I'm going out with Rick." Shane asked, jogging to my side.
"Sure." I shrugged, looking his over.
"Thanks." He said, patting my shoulder awkwardly before turning and walking away relatively quickly.
I walked to my tent and grabbed my machete and a hair band. I walked out tying my hair up in a ponytail, reluctantly making my way to the RV. I don't know why I agreed to do this. I mean, of course I want to help Carol find her baby, but I don't want her to falsely get her hopes up before them getting crushed right in front of her.
I stepped in warily and walked quickly through, trying to push the thoughts about Carol and recent events to the back of my mind.
"Carol, I'm going to head up to the highway. You coming?" I called from outside the back room door.
There was no reply but sounds of movement. The door then swung open, a haggard looking Carol appearing. She nodded slowly, barely meeting my eyes.
I stepped back and turned slowly, walking out of the RV. I stopped outside and waited for her to show, gnawing my lip.
She stepped out wrapping a cardigan around her, and I led her to our truck silently.
She climbed in the passenger side and I in the drivers, pulling down the visor and letting the keys fall into my lap.
I turned the truck on and began pulling out of the farm, hoping that this journey wouldn't take too long. It couldn't. After getting through the gate, Carol directed me in the direction of where the car was.
After a short period, the truck breezed down the highway, the wind roared loudly through my open window, but all I heard was the defining silence that filled the car.
"Do you want some water or something? I think there are some bottles on the back seat." I asked, glancing round at her.
"Thanks Sam." She said after a brief hesitation and reached round.
It was just nice to hear her talk.
I'd never really spoken to her. At the quarry, she was all quiet and timid, and now she seemed just hopeless. I just wanted to get to know the real Carol. Would that ever happen though?
It was probably unlikely. We'd have the rest of our lives to get to know each other - but our lives could end tomorrow. I may never know her.
But she seemed to get on okay with Lori, but they both had things in common. They're both mothers, and they both do things together. I'm more one of the lads, out searching or hunting.
But why should that divide us?
And then there was Daryl. She seemed to have a soft spot for Daryl that I couldn't place, but what I would never want to interrupt. he's doing something to help her find her daughter.
He searches all the time. It almost even killed him, just for the sake of her doll.
I hadn't really seen her interact with anyone else. But I knew she's going through the toughest time of her life. I didn't blame her. But it saddened me.
"I never thanked you for what you did the other day." She blurted. "You came back bloody and battered, and I couldn't utter a word." She whispered, hanging her head low.
"Forget it. I'd do it all again if it would find your little girl. I'm just sorry I couldn't bring back anything more than a hair clip." I sighed, shifting gear a little too roughly.
"Sam, it's just as important as.. As her doll." She gulped loudly, rubbing her face with her hands.
"Well I won't stop looking. I can promise you that." I said defiantly.
The truck slipped back into silence then, but it wasn't stifled or awkward. It just was.
It didn't take long to get to where Sophia's car was. When we pulled up to the car jam, I gasped.
Carol told me that this is where that herd past, and where Sophia ran. As the truck slowly rolled to a stop, I was overcome.
"This place..." I started, but I couldn't finish. It looked like a death trap. It was hell.
"Come on." She said softly.
I switched the engine off and jumped out, grabbing my machete. Carol had already gone, and I jogged to catch up with her. I cast my eyes around, and saw that we were completely alone.
She had stopped by a small sedan, and I saw that it had writing on the window and a few supplies sitting on the trunk.
There was no Sophia though.
Carol leant against the side of the car. Hand over her mouth.
I walked up beside her and threw my arm around her shoulders, ignoring the complaint I felt in my ribs.
"Do you want to stay for a bit?" I asked after a few minutes and she nodded.
"Okay, but if anything comes this way, you've got to do exactly what I say." I said, although I had no idea what I would do if walkers came past.
I let my arm fall from her shoulders and slowly begun walking through that graveyard.
Desolation was the word.
I could feel all the hope and optimism I still has left deflating. The cars and people were scattered, ransacked and ruined. Scraps, clothes, all sorts of items lay across the floor, trampled and forgotten. Doors and trunks were open, and I felt a feeling of guilt wash over me at the thought of scavenging in places like this. Because I would've.
One thing that I couldn't shake was the smell. It was so pungent and sickening that it made my eyes water.
I couldn't walk any further. I checked up ahead to see there was no danger and turned back to Carol.
I quickly got by her side and checked the surrounding area. I wasn't taking any chances.
"Can we go?" She asked, spinning to face me.
"Of course. We'll come back tomorrow." I said sadly.
We walked back slowly to the car, my mind dwelling on how long we'd have to do this. At some point there'll be no gas. Maybe we'd have to walk here and back everyday.
I turned on the engine and shifted into reverse. Once we were back flying down the highway again, Carol turned to me.
"Do you think well find her?" She asked blankly, making my mouth drop.
"You can't think like that! Of course we will. We're doing everything we can."
She sat back round to face the front and I sighed.
"Why? Do you think we won't?" I asked incredulously.
"I have to hope so. But I'm just worried about how she'll be found. Or if someone else gets hurt-"
"That's not going to happen."
"But look at you and Daryl! He came back half dead and then got shot! I can't have that on my hands." She yelped. I looked over at her, surprised about this outburst.
"Look, I'm fine, and Daryl's going to be fine. He's raring to go out now, but he's too weak to get far. You have to trust us." I pointed out, reaching across to take her hand in mine.
She didn't respond, but squeezed my hand back.
"I don't know how to thank him. He's done so much, looking for my baby girl." She said, a sob threatening to creep over her.
"Hey, I'm the wrong person to ask for this advice. We never got on since the first day, did we?" I smiled. She looked at me and a small crack of a smile appeared.
I thought about my words and our nearly-kiss. I shivered.
"I suppose... Thank you Sam. For everything." She said after a small while when I turned down the Greene's drive.
We get through the gate and locked it securely before heading back up to the tents.
I parked the truck in its usual stop and turned the engine off.
"Hey, if you ever need someone to talk to or just to cry on, I'm always here." I said gently, giving carol one of the most genuine looks I could conjure.
"Thank you." She smiled with watery eyes before getting out of the truck, heading towards the RV.
I sighed as I took the key out of the ignition and stowed it back in the visor.
I clambered out and headed to the part of the group that was gathered by the fire.
The rest of the group were still out searching, so only Glenn, dale, Alex and Lori were there with Alex up on watch.
"How was it?" Lori called as I walked over. I shook my head.
"I can see how you got trapped there though. The place is totalled." I recounted, remembering how horrifying the jam looked.
"It wasn't easy." Lori sighed, lowering her head.
We slipped into silence then, but we were broken out our reverie by laughter. We all looked round to see Helena and Carl tumbling out of the house, followed by Hershel. A small, grateful smile stretched across at the two as they flicked about, smiles etched deeply on their faces.
Lori got up and walked up to him, whereas Carl and Helena ran up to us.
"Hershel said I can get up now!" Carl laughed, jumping around.
"Yeah, but you can't be going crazy. You could still re-hurt yourself." Dale said, but the corners of his mouth pricked up.
"I know. I know." He said, but his eyes still sparkled.
"When's my dad back?" Carl asked, staring round the group.
"He shouldn't be too long. It's not going to be light for that much longer." I answered, watching as his face lit up.
"Cool, thanks." He grinned before running off to play with Helena.
"Don't go too far! Always in my sight." Lori called as she walked back down towards the fire.
"Everything alright?" I asked. She looked a little shocked but she nodded and forced a smile.
I faffed about the fire, my head swirling with thoughts. Everything I had been told over the past day was slowly seeping into my system, and I got more and more tired with each blink.
"Shane and Rick are coming back!" Alex called from the RV, and I slowly dragged my gaze away from Lori to the direction Alex was pointing.
Both Rick and Shane looked pissed off. They walked a few feet apart, barely together. Lori jogged up to Rick and steered him away, chatting quickly and quietly. Shane silently stormed past us all to his tent.
I looked at Dale who shrugged at me, but his expression was calculating. He obviously didn't trust Shane, and judging by the harsh contours of his face, Rick wasn't too happy with him either.
"How're you feeling Sam?" Dale asked, waggling an eyebrow.
I decided to play dumb and look like I was clueless, but he motioned over his shoulder. I inwardly groaned and leant to the side to see Daryl marching slowly across the field toward the camp.
"Like death." I grunted, averting my eyes as Daryl drew closer.
He marched straight up to camp, said a few quiet words to Alex and then jumped into the RV, acknowledging - even looking - at everyone else but me.
I felt that familiar kick in the gut I was so getting used to. I snuck a glance up at Dale who had a smug look on his face. I jokingly stuck my tongue out at him, but inwardly wanting to beat myself for being so stupid.
Why, of all people did Dale have to walk in on me and Daryl? Well, that was a weird sentence.
He's never going to let it drop, until he's convinced I'm what - in love with the guy? Having a thousand babies? No. It was just a misunderstanding.
Besides, I don't see Dale chatting to Daryl about this.
We were just caught in an awkward situation. And I was going to suffer for it. But I've kissed people before, right? I've done it as just a passing thing, but this was getting to me. It was probably just because of the world we're in. You dwell on everything.
After inwardly cringing, I snapped out on my thoughts and tried to concentrate on more pressing matters like telling the group about the walkers in the barn the following morning. How they'd all react, and what would need to be done.
And if Daryl would actually talk to me.
A bit fillery, but it's always got something. ;]
Thank you for all the alerts and views! This hit some really high figures last week!
- Loré. X