I caught Glenn's gaze and nodded. He looked completely petrified, but he knew what he had to do. He looked back up towards the house and winced, but he wasn't deterred. I looked up too to see a seething-looking Maggie and I grimaced. Glenn really had some balls.
Dale stepped up by my side and laid a hand on my shoulder.
So. We were ready.
"Err guys? There's... the barn's full of walkers." Glenn garbled, stunning the entire group into a horrified silence.
Eyes bulged out of heads, Carol gasped hard and even Helena and Carl had stopped talking to stare hopelessly at Glenn. I watched as he shifted uncomfortably, and my heart went out to him. Well it would, if it stopped beating wildly in my chest.
"What?" Rick spluttered. Glenn merely nodded, his eyes fixed on his feet.
Everyone shared a stifled look before dropping everything and hurling themselves down to the barn. I swore silently to myself as I followed, my mind racing a thousand miles an hour.
The group slowed and all stood about awkwardly outside of it, staring as if they could see inside. Shane walked up to the doors and peeked in, and I sighed uneasily.
"How did you know?" Rick asked while Shane paced.
"I climbed into the hayloft and saw them. I asked Maggie and she confirmed it." Glenn mumbled, his head low but his neck flushing.
"When did you find out?" Shane stopped, staring at Glenn witch such ferocity that I wanted to take a step back.
"A few days ago." He muttered, stepping back slightly.
"And you didn't say anything?" Shane shouted, charging forward. I was shocked at his brash action, and so spurned me on.
I reached across to Glenn and pulled him beside me. Shane stopped short and stared coldly at both me and Glenn. It took all my will power to keep my gaze level. I wasn't going to be intimidated by Shane. Not when something this important needs sorting.
"I thought we could survive another night and we did." Dale jumped in.
"You just risked all our lives!" Shane shouted, his voice getting louder as he span to face him.
"We survived didn't we? Besides, we wanted to tell you when the group was all together." Dale stepped forward, staring about at the group. His never wavered, and such admiration for the man rushed through me, along with mounting concern.
"We need to get rid of them." Shane declared, turning his back to Dale. I could feel my blood start to boil.
"This isn't our land, we can't Shane. We need to be in Hershel's good side so we can keep looking for Sophia." Rick levelled, but Shane shook his head with a disbelieving laugh.
"When are y'all going to get into your heads that were never going to find her! The two 'heroes' nearly died trying to find her." Shane shouted, challenging us. I let go of Glenn and stepped forward, my temper reaching breaking point. My gaze flicked to Carol who had her hands over her mouth, her eyes filling.
"How can you be so damn cruel? Her mother is right here, Shane. And I'd happily risk my life for her. At least I give a shit about the members of this group." I yelled, stopping a yard from him. I thought that was a safe distance - for him.
"Look here Sam," he spat, stepping right into my face.
"Shane,"Rick growled, but Shane wasn't paying him any attention.
"She's dead. Gone. So you going out and being all supposedly heroic is going to do nothing. So why don't you step away from me and get on with your little ninja stuff and let the rest of the group handle this." He patronised, flicking his hands in my face before turning away.
I'm going to punch him. I'm going to punch him.
"Hey, asshole, who do you think you are? This isn't martial law. You can't decide what's best for us and that's final. If it was someone you loved out there, we'd never stop searching. So get off your high horse and start acting like a human being. We have no say about those walkers in the barn. None."
"You think taking the moral high ground is going to work with me? I've met the scum of the earth and people who wouldn't even look at me. Nothing you do is going to work on me. And I couldn't care less about your opinion. I've arrested drug dealers with more influence than you, so back off." He growled, and it took a lot of effort to keep my jaw from falling open.
"So insulting me is how you're going to convince everyone to give up looking for Sophia? I've got news for you, I'm not stopping. And I never will, no matter who gets lost. Because that's what people do, Shane. You can stand there and get in my face all you want. I'm always going to do what I think is right. And right now, I know I'm right. Step away from the barn." I spat.
I saw his hand ball into a fist and start to hover our of the corner of my eye and I glared as me teeth began to grit. Bring it on. He'll see who comes out of this the worst.
"Shane! This has gone too far." Rick said watching Shane's fist. Other members of the group caught on, and so all eyes were on Shane's balled fist. Eventually he realised people had noticed and he dropped it, along with his hard expression.
"Whatever Sam. Let me know when you stop being a righteous bitch and come round to the right way of thinking." He smirked, turning away.
"Ya bastard!" Daryl shouted, stepping forward, barrelling toward Shane.
"Sophia... Gonna hit a woman? Mother fu-" was all I heard him shout as he charged, pulling back his fist. Shane bounced up to meet him, the muscles in his neck bulging.
Rick jumped in front of Shane and began steering him backwards, stopping him while I subconsciously ran and reached out to Daryl. It took most of my strength to stop him surging forward, but eventually he stopped. I looked round to Shane, my fingers still tightly clenched to Daryl's shirt.
"We're not going to do anything. This isn't our land, this isn't out decision. I'll go talk to Hershel, but nothing is being done about this by us, understand?" Rick ordered, keeping his voice dangerously low as his hand gripped harder on Shane's shoulder, staring at him intently.
Slowly, he let go of Shane. He walked up to the barn doors and rattled them, checking their sturdiness.
I looked back up to Daryl who was glaring at me, studying my face with such depth. I winced slightly, but my grip didn't falter. He grabbed my wrists and yanked my hands off his shirt. He stared at me for a second longer before storming away, back up to camp.
Carol had already walked away, and Alex had taken the kids back to camp. I glared at Shane as he started squaring off to Rick and I scoffed, shaking my head and slowly trudging away.
I got up to camp and started climbing up the RV, wanting nothing more than to be alone. I slumped down into the chair and pulled the binoculars to my lap, utterly degraded.
My eyes flicked to the group as the began to walk up from the barn, reality slowly trickling into their features.
I snapped my eyes away, staring across the fields. My lower lip wobbled as I recounted the cold words that Shane said to me.
I wasn't upset that he'd balled his fist at me and said there are better personalities in drug dealers. I've been insulted a lot in my life, I couldn't care about that. I wouldn't. What hurt was the fact that he had no hope for this group. He wanted it his way. What he wanted, and no one was going to stand in the way of that. Getting rid of the walkers would end whatever we had with Hershel for sure. Sophia could be out here right now, and we'd never know because Shane thinks looking for her is a waste of time.
How can someone who use to be seen as a figure of help and safety be so cutting and cruel to the people who he has has to spend his life with? The people who'd want him to cover them when it was needed, and who would die trying to protect him?
"Ugh!" I grunted, wiping furiously at my eyes as frustrated tears seeped out.
"Shut up Sam." Daryl grunted as he stormed past. I felt slightly shocked at his words, but then I grew furious.
"Get bent, Dixon." I snapped, glaring at him as he walked by. His gaze was cold but I fought the urge to flinch. I gritted my teeth as I watched him go, suppressing the urge to throw the binoculars at his head.
I got up and paced the RV, knocking the chair over as I did so. I eventually sank to the roof, my thoughts consuming me.
I can't believe I even considered kissing him. I can't believe I thought he had the potential to be a decent human being.
Lots of people in the group aren't who I thought they were, or could be.
"Hey Sam." I heard behind me. I snapped my head around to see Glenn climbing up the RV ladder.
"Oh, hey." I rasped, smiling weakly.
"What's wrong?" He asked, stepping in front of me.
"Nothing. Shane said some things that just got to me more than they should." I sighed, shrugging my shoulders.
"Yeah, I don't think you're the only one." He trailed, pointing over my shoulder.
I span to see Daryl entering the stables, Carol hot on his heels. Seeing them disappearing together was like a kick in the gut. And I hated it, because I had no reason to feel like that.
I turned back to Glenn as he settled on the floor beside me, taking the binoculars.
"Are you okay?" I croaked.
"Oh. Erm, not great." He sighed, shaking his head.
"What's happened?"
"Maggie. She knows I told the group, and she won't talk to me or anything. I like her Sam, I really do, but I couldn't keep this quiet. I just hope she realises why I told." he said exasperated, his eyes not moving from the distance.
"Well, she's not stupid. And you just have to tell her. Tell her everything, your feelings, why you told everyone, the lot. If not now, then someday she'll understand."
He looked up at me for a second, and after a brief second of studying my face, he nodded and blew his cheeks out.
"Okay. I'll leave her to calm down a bit or something." He said, nodding to himself.
We sat quietly as the day stretched on, speaking occasionally and not for long.
The events of the day kept flashing through my head, making me feel more and more depressed and hopeless.
I just want to be back home.
I want my parents and my sister. I want them to tell me everything's okay. We'd all be together, an unstoppable force.
But I'm stranded hundreds of miles away with no way of knowing how they are. I'm stuck with people who some don't seem to give a shit about anyone but themselves. And we've all got to protect each other.
It was probably only a matter of time before Shane and I argued. But there was something so different about him, so off it made me uneasy.
I sighed, looking about camp. Dale was pacing below the RV, his face screwed up tightly. Rick and Lori were having a quiet rushed conversation away from the group and Alex looked tense as he watched over Helena and Carl as they played. I couldn't see Shane or Andrea. Daryl and Carol had long since emerged from the stables. She'd settled back in the RV while Daryl had disappeared.
I pulled my lip in between my teeth and chewed it as my forehead creased.
These next couple days are going to be intense.
Quite a short one, I know! I'm a tease.
Any comments, alerts and follows are really appreciated! It makes me mile every time I get an email through. :]
- Loré. X