I had been sitting in the same spot for a while as my senses slowly seemed to ebb back in. Along with complete, unadulterated fear. The fear of having to find somewhere safe for us all to be again.

The thought of Helena and Alex flashed across my mind and I jolted upright.

Getting to my feet, I passed the silent RV where Carol and Daryl were, and I ignored the aches that reverberated through me as I picked up pace.

I got back down to the barn and saw that Alex and Helena were still on the floor, cradling each other along with a few of the group still stuck in position. I felt guilt flash through me as I faltered. I had just stood up and left them there. I ran a hand through my hair as I approached them and dropped down in front of them.

Alex looked up at me with red and watery eyes, while Helena remained curled up in his lap, her face hidden.

I leant forward and gently wiped the water away from Alex's cheeks, ignoring the ones that I felt dripping off my chin. Alex caught that though, brushing his hand across my tear tracks, carefully avoiding my cut. I hadn't noticed myself crying, but the tenderness of his touch comforted me.

"We should get this place tidied." Andrea said lowly. I slowly brought my eyes up to hers, putting as much malice into my glance as I could. If that wasn't the most insensitive sentence I'd ever heard, I don't know what is.

She didn't meet my eyes for long, as she quickly tore her eyes away from mine and began walking up to camp, talking to T-Dog about getting the truck.

"Come on kids. Let's go back up to get some food." Lori sniffed.

Helena slowly untangled herself from Alex. She looked at me briefly before launching at me, her arms clutched rightly around my neck, sending me back to the floor. She lay on top of me, new tears falling again.

I cooed and stroked her head gently, trying me best to sooth her. Eventually she crawled off me, walking to Carla side and taking his hand as they headed back to camp with Lori who was silently crying as she walked.

I sat up from my laid position and watched as the truck pulled up behind Alex. Andrea jumped out as T-Dog walked back down with Daryl.

I sighed as I crawled forward to Alex, pulling him into a hug.

He didn't respond at first which tore up my heart even more. He just sat there as I tried to embrace him, unmoving. But he did eventually respond, his hands shakily wrapping around my back.

"Go back up to camp Alex. You're not in any state to do this. Emotionally or physically." I whispered gently, my voice cracking from where I hadn't spoken in a long time.

I drew away from him and looked him sternly in the eyes. He shook his head, but I stopped him, holding it in my hands.

"Go. Look after Helena. Crawl into the tent together as just sleep. She needs you."

"But you're not okay to do this either Sam. Your ribs are still injured, and I know you're going to hate it-" He rushed, his voice hoarse.

"Just go." I said gently, stepping away and holding out my hand to pull him up.

After a brief hesitation he took it and pulled himself up. I masked the screaming pain in my ribs by grimacing, and gently nudged his shoulder to set him walking.

I watched him go before turning back to face the barn. I looked about at Andrea, T-Dog and Daryl, wondering what to do. They all just stood there, looking at the bloody carnage that lay out in front of us.

"I'm going to get a shovel." I said after a short silence, causing all their eyes to snap towards me.

I met them all briefly before taking a slow step back and turning towards the truck. I wasn't going to load bodies into a truck. I couldn't. I'd much rather make a place where our loved ones can be buried. It'd help me feel more human.

I walked quickly to get a shovel, ignoring a certain pair of eyes that burned into me as I went.

I grabbed the first one I saw and walked away, looking at a small patch of trees with the view of the barn and the field.

I threw everything to the back of my mind as I walked, forcing myself to become numb. I don't know if that was how I wanted to feel, but I wouldn't decide that now. There was a hard task ahead before I could let my emotions gets the better of me.

I stood over a healthy area of grass and looked towards the field, taking in the faintest orangey hue that was settling in. The tall grass waved in the slightest breeze and the smallest flies and insects had just begun their evening flight. There was even a few bird songs floating towards me from a distance , which I hadn't heard in a while. Yeah, this was a nice spot.

I looked back at the spot below me and stabbed the shovel hard into the ground, tearing up the first piece of earth.

I kept going with the harsh pace, not giving my body any chance to rest. I wanted to feel the sobering burn in my back, the rough grind of the shovel in my hands. Anything physical over the slightest thing emotional.

Soon enough, the grave was what imagined was the right size. I stood up straight and chucked the shovel overhead so I could pull myself out of the ground.

I crawled over the earth and pulled myself to my feet as I began on digging another grave.

I managed to do the next one even quicker, but my ribs got more painful as I worked. I crawled out of the ground and sat between the two, drawing my legs close to me, hissing as the pain throbbed before slowly ebbing away.

I looked back towards the barn and watches as Andrea put some of the bodies on the back of the truck. I was going to turn my head away when I saw Daryl moving around the walkers, and slowly bent to pick something up.

I felt my eyes well with water as I watched him cradle Sophia's body as he walked. He was was heading in my direction.

His arms strained and his face was tense as he walked towards me. I know he wasn't struggling with her body. He was struggling with the body being Sophia's.

He was a few yards away when I slowly stood up, my eyes locked on his face.

I started walking towards him, wanting to help. I got to within a yard or two when he shook his head.

"Back off, Sam." He whispered, his voice cracking.

I stopped in my tracks and nodded. I know he wasn't being a dick. I knew he had to do this for himself. He had been so hell bent on finding her. He did it with such a burning passion and determination that you could only admire him. I didn't notice that until now, watching be so gentle with her body.

I stepped back and watched as he walked by, my eyes falling on Sophia's peaceful features. She looked just as innocent as when I first saw her.

My eyes fluttered shut, not wanting to see anymore. I didn't want to see the damage of her being bitten was. I opened my eyes as I heard grunts. I looked at Daryl to see him settling Sophia's body down gently before throwing himself down into the grave.

He reached for her body, once again gently as he had her down, running a hand over her face and closing her eyes.

I bit my lip to stop a sob escaping as I watched him be so delicate with her. He climbed back out and looked down at her peaceful body, utterly silent.

I couldn't take my eyes off him.

I'd never seen this side of him. I'd seen him determined, angry, hell, even near death. But nothing struck home as much as his raw emotion. He wasn't even guarding himself in front of me like he usually did with us all.

I wanted to go. I felt like I was trespassing on his emotions, and I was wading further into my unknown ones. I stepped back and turned to walk away.

"No." He growled, but it wasn't menacing. It was choked with emotional pain. It shocked me to my core, but I didn't question him. I wouldn't.

Cautiously, I turned back to him and slowly walked to his side. He didn't flinch, edge away or argue. He just stood.

I desperately wanted to touch him. Not like that, just in a comforting way. A hand on his shoulder, something like that. I'm not who he wants to be with, so why would it matter? I was just here, and I wanted to comfort him.

I didn't though. I thought that was incredibly personal for Daryl, and I wasn't going to ruin this moment for him.

After a minute or so, he reached down to the shovel by my foot. Slowly, he began to push small amounts of fresh earth onto Sophia, his face gritted hard but his eyes softer.

I sank to my knees and began pushing mounds into the pit with my hands, watching as her once familiar features faded away under the soil.

Once the earth had fully been replaced, I slowly stood up straight and looked at Daryl.

His hands were clenching tightly around the shovel, his eyes drifting over the field.

I began brushing myself off and winced slightly at the pain in my ribs. Daryl's head snapped round to face me, and I watched awkwardly as he trailed his eyes across me.

He then walked a few steps forward and held out the shovel. I tentatively took it and looked at him confused.

"I'm gettin' 'nother shovel." He sighed quietly as he began walking back up to the barn.

I watched him go, perplexed. He ran a hand through his shaggy hair and slightly laboured the side he injured. I felt my features soften at that, but shook my head and forced myself to start working on the next grave.

Our group walked away from the five graves, each clearly indicated by a headstone made of wood. Gentle, humble and meaningful words were spoken as everyone gathered at the burial.

Daryl and I had dug silently side-by-side. Neither of us had to say anything. I knew he wasn't one for talking, and I respected that. It was just nice to have him be okay with me, despite the awful circumstance. But all I could think about was him and Carol.

We made way as the Greene household buried their loved ones, and we gave them that space. It was then time for Sophia's funeral. Carol was so strong. She spoke about her baby in a way which made me desperate to see my family again. But I tried no to think of them. It hurt too much, and this was for Sophia, not for me to mope and think about myself.

I walked numbly back to camp and listened as Rick began telling the group about having to move on. I tensed as I walked slightly, wondering about the groups reaction.

As if we didn't have enough to feel shit about, we've now got to worry about finding sons where safe again. I wanted to cry from frustration, mingled slightly with complete fear.

"I spoke to Hershel, and he's decided that-" He started.

"Rick, have you seen my dad?" Maggie shouted as she ran from the porch. The group slowed to a stop, Shane marching off at the sight of Maggie. I fought the urge to roll my eyes, so instead focused on Maggie's urgent tone.

"Not for a couple hours. Is everything alright?" Rick asked, his tired features highly alert.

"Beth's gone into to shock. I need my dad here." She gasped, her face contort in panic. I felt my stomach plummet.

"Where could he be? We'll look." I answered quickly, my forehead creasing.

"The town bar. Whenever something bad happened before..." She trailed, but didn't finish. She didn't have to.

"It's okay, we'll go. Go look after Beth." I nodded. She laid a hand in my arm briefly before she ran back to the house, my mind racing. I wasn't surprised Beth was in shock. I'm surprised that more of us weren't incapacitated.

I looked to Rick who nodded at me. Glenn walked up to us too, pulling a key out of his pocket.

"I know where the bar is." He nodded.

I looked back at the group, my eyes resting on Alex. He grimaced, but inclined his head. I guess he's accepted that I needed to help. My eyes continued to flick over the group before then settling on Daryl. He sighed harshly but nodded at me, and I nodded back. I don't know what our mutual understanding was, but I guess we agreed on something.

"Quick, grab your stuff." Rick asserted as he began rushing off.

I sped towards our tent and grabbed my machete, ignoring the sharp pain that festered in my ribs. I jumped back out of the tent and jogged to Glenn who was standing by the fire pit. Dale appeared from the RV and silently handed me a pistol and an extra case of bullets. I shoved the bullets into my shorts pocket and threw an arm around him. I pulled away and turned to follow Rick and Glenn to the truck.

"Be careful." Alex shouted. I turned and smiled weakly at him.

Glenn threw the keys to Rick and we jumped in the truck. I slid in the back and rested my machete next to me, my hands taking comfort from the smooth and cold metal on the pistol. Rick rumbled the truck to life and began pulling away quickly, speeding down the pathway to the gate.

I looked back over my shoulder at the group. They all watched as we drove away, their soulless faces getting smaller and smaller as we got closer to the outside world.

Hello all!

First of all, happy new year! I hope you all have a fantastic one. ;D

And I'm sorry I didn't upload last week - my internet was cut off. Surprise, surprise! To make up for it, I'm going to make the next chapter a lot longer for you all.

Thank you all for your patience, but also for the following, favouriting and commenting!

- Loré. X