This has a lot of exposition, and I'm a bit worried that the way I've paced it may leave people a little bored. So I'll try and update regularly, although in all honesty it will probably only happen a maximum of once a week.

Buffy wasn't sure if taking Faith home was the best idea. She didn't know how the rest of the household would react to her, but she couldn't think of anything else. Faith was definitely not up to scratch for patrolling and even if she was, Buffy didn't really want her around right now, she was used to patrolling alone, she was used to being alone. She could tell that Faith could tell something was off, but she didn't know how to pretend everything was okay and seven if she did, she didn't know if she could be bothered to pretend.

As they approached the door Buffy was only mildly concerned about the reaction to Faith. The thought did occur to her that if everyone spent more time worrying over Faith, Buffy might be left alone more.

Buffy opened the door and called out to whoever was inside "Hey! I'm home and I could do with a little help"

There was a loud sound and Dawn suddenly appeared in the doorway.

"What happened Buffy, did you get hurt?" she asked her voice clearly full of concern. And then she saw Faith standing behind Buffy. "What is she doing here?" she asked her voice suddenly icy cold. She looked from Buffy to Faith and back to Buffy, who shrugged.

"Willow" she called, turning and exiting the room as quickly as she had arrived.

"Willow's over?" Faith asked nervously.

"She lives here now." Buffy told her, waiting to see if Faith would ask more, but for now at least Faith remained silent. "Let's put your shoulder back in." She said as she led Faith into the kitchen. She saw Dawn and Willow looking through the lounge room at them as they walked past.

"Sit down" she told Faith, and Faith did as she was told. Faith moved her bad shoulder towards her and she grabbed the arm and braced against Faith. "You ready?" She asked, when Faith nodded she pulled the arm until she felt the unmistakable pop of the joint going back in.

Faith let out the breath she had been holding "Thanks B."

She shrugged "It happens, I'll be right back"

She walked out to Willow and Dawn, who were furiously whispering back and forth. As soon as they noticed her Dawn turned on her.

"Why is she here Buffy?" she demanded

She sighed, this was just another thing that was her fault wasn't it? Couldn't the whole Faith saga be attributed as her fault? Why hadn't she been better, more helpful, less dying?

"I don't know really, I think she wants to... Atone for what she did..."

Dawn gave a short harsh laugh "That would take a while, like forever."

Buffy sighed again "I know Dawnie, but at least she is trying. You want to give her a hard time for what she has done, that's fine, I get that, and she probably deserves that. But also give her credit for coming back. That's got to count for something right?"

Willow spoke up "I don't know Buffy. How do we know that's really why she's back?"

"We don't and trust me she won't just be left to her own devices, and she has asked me to be her... Sober Slayer companion" Buffy told them, repeating Faith's words.

"So she's in murder rehab now?" Dawn asked sarcastically.

"I don't know Dawn, but I will keep an eye on her. We will see what happens." She replied, rubbing her temples.

"And what if she's out for you again?" Dawn asked her voice full of concern as she stepped closer to Buffy watching her reaction.

"I think if she was out for my blood, she'd already have it. I think she wants to fix this, to fix her and it's not going to be easy for her or for us, but we should help her. It's the right thing to do."

"Okay Buffy" Dawn said as she stepped closer to put her arm around her sister "Just be careful okay?"

"I will Dawnie, now I know this is asking a lot, but could you please make her something to eat?" she pleaded to Dawn.

"Okay. But what is it with you and murderers? One day we will have to have an intervention or something" Dawn said as she walked away.

"So what happened Buffy?" Willow asked as soon as Dawn had left the room.

Buffy chose the easiest way to interpret that answer "She froze at our first demon, got herself hurt, I don't think she's quite ready to be back in the game yet. Could you patch her up? Her shoulder really needs wrapping."

"Sure thing, but I meant more about how we got to have Faith here in the first place, what did she say? And how is she out of prison already?" Willow wanted all the details, but Buffy didn't want to give them, she just felt like she needed to get away.

"I think that's her story Will." Buffy moved towards the door "I've got to get back out patrolling anyway. Let Faith know that she can have my bed. I'll take the couch tonight."

Buffy made her exit quickly and made out for patrolling again. She knew she'd end up at Spike's eventually, it was the only place that made her feel. She probably wouldn't have made it to her bed anyway, so Faith may as well make use of it.

Faith sat silently in the kitchen while Dawn noisily made her something to eat. To say the silence was tense was an understatement, Dawn had told her she was only doing this because Buffy had asked her to, and she had no doubt that was true.

She figured she should try to talk to Dawn, to let her know that all she wanted was to help, to make up for her past wrongs.

"So how have things been going Dawnie?"

"Since when do you care? And don't call me Dawnie." Dawn snapped at her.

"Okay, and I'm sorry, and I always cared it's just..."

"You decided you'd rather be a homicidal murderer and kidnap my sister's body? What was your fascination with her anyway? You just had to try and ruin everything that she had." Dawn ranted as she continued thundering around the kitchen.

Why had she tried to ruin Buffy's life? Why did she attack Angel and sabotage her and Riley? She wasn't going to share that with Dawn. But she would have to one day with Buffy, and the thought gave her chills.

"I deserved that, I know, but that's not me anymore. I'm not going to hurt you, or Buffy, or your mum again. Speaking of Joyce how is she?"

Dawn finished the sandwich at the same time as Willow entered the kitchen. She placed the sandwich down in front of Faith and stalked out, leaving Faith alone with Willow. Faith didn't know how to deal with Willow, whether she should talk to her or leave her alone, they'd never got along anyway, but she never used to be this awkward around people, she used to know how to act, what to say. For now she figured no one could begrudge her eating her sandwich, and she was famished.

Willow saved her internal agonising and talked to her first "So if you're back in town, there are probably a few things you should know. Firstly, Joyce is... umm, she passed away last year."

It felt like to Faith like she had been punched in the gut "How did it happen?"

"It was a brain aneurism. Nothing could be done, she had been sick for a while and then, yeah, she just... Buffy came home and found her. It was really hard on Buffy and Dawn, and she's given up a lot to take care of Dawn... She's sacrificed everything."

There was something about the way Willow said that, and Faith just had to know "What's everything?"

Willow looked away and she could see the pain on her face "That's Buffy's business. You should ask her. But she's not at college anymore and she's bringing Dawnie up, as well as working her job... "

Well that explained the job then "Where is Buffy now?" she asked, she hadn't seen the other slayer since Buffy helped put her shoulder back in.

"She went out slaying. She does that a lot. She said you should take her bed tonight."

Faith went to protest, but was cut off by Willow "Listen she'll probably be out all night patrolling, but if she comes home she sleeps on the couch half the time anyway. She asked me to strap your shoulder too."

Faith shook her head "It'll be fine, you know slayer healing. I think I'll just go to bed." She didn't feel tired, but the alternative was hanging around awkwardly, so she figured that was the better option.

Willow just nodded, so Faith made her way upstairs.

Sleep was the last thing she wanted and as she made her way into Buffy's room, she knew she wouldn't be able to. Her mind was running around. Joyce was dead, and Buffy was, different, she didn't know what had happened, but something had.

As she took off her boots and slipped into the bed she felt like she was surrounded by Buffy, she could almost believe Buffy was here with her. Except she could never be in here if Buffy was in the room.

The smell and surroundings brought back memories and this time her thoughts went to when she found out Angel was back. Her pain, her anger and her betrayal came flooding back to her. She felt betrayed by the fact that Buffy hadn't told her, hadn't wanted to tell her. She had been afraid that Angel being back would ruin what they'd had, but Angel hadn't done that, she'd done it all on her own.

She'd lashed out at Angel and at it was all over Buffy had made the effort, but Faith had been hurt, and she hadn't known how to react, so she'd pushed her away.

What Buffy hadn't known, couldn't know, was the other reason for her pain, her feelings for Buffy. The feelings she had kept trying to push away, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't ignore them, and couldn't pretend to herself anymore that they didn't exist.

Faith sat up. She wasn't getting any sleep tonight, not with her memories haunting her. Her mind drifted to the demon they had fought earlier in the night. It was still out there and Buffy was patrolling out there with it. Screw it, may as well go patrolling.

She looked at Buffy's window, the famous escape route and she figured she may as well do it once, so she made her exit.

She had already checked three of Sunnydale's cemeteries and hadn't found any trace of the demon or Buffy. As she walked through the current cemetery she thought she heard Buffy, without hesitating she headed towards the crypt she thought she heard the noises coming from and threw open the door.

Nothing could have prepared Faith for what she saw. And the betrayal she had felt before resurfaced. Of course she though, Buffy and her vampires.

The pair looked up at the noise she had caused and Buffy to her credit looked ashamed at being caught in the act with Spike. Spike however just smirked at her, and she wanted to wipe that smirk of his face.

"Faith" Buffy whispered, but Faith still heard her.

She turned around and left, she didn't want anything more to do with this, and she just didn't trust herself around them right now.

As she was walking away she heard Buffy calling her name, and asking her to stop. When she felt a hand on her shoulder she couldn't stop herself, she turned around and punched her as hard as she could in the face.

Buffy just crumbled to the ground and she noticed Buffy was crying.

"Just please" Buffy gasped, hugging her legs into her body "please don't tell anyone."

"Oh Buffy" she said and she knelt down in front of the distraught blonde. She placed her hands onto Buffy's knees "Buffy what are you doing?"

"I just" she gasped between sobs "He makes me feel. I just don't feel anything."

"Why?" Faith asked "How did it get to this Buffy?"

Suddenly Faith heard a familiar growl seriously? Could it choose a worse time?

The demon charged them again, and this time Faith knew exactly what she wanted to do. Luckily she came prepared. She ran at the charging demon and stabbed the stake into its throat, then used the embedded stake to flip onto the demons back. She placed her hands on the demons head and twisted until she heard a snap, then she jumped off to watch the demon fall to the ground. When she looked back to Buffy she saw that the other slayer was still hunched over. Slowly she walked back over to the blonde and knelt in front of her again

"What happened Buffy?"

Buffy didn't look up from her lap but she spoke quietly "Can we go for a walk?"

Faith thought it was a random request. She didn't know if it was Buffy's way of avoiding the topic, but she didn't have anything to lose.

They walked out of the cemetery and came to a grave. Buffy collapsed to her knees in front of the grave. Faith looked to the name on the tombstone.

"Buffy" she gasped.

Buffy didn't say anything, she just kept looking at the ground, and Faith just wanted to take her in her arms. So she moved to sit next to Buffy and wrapped her arm around Buffy.

"B" she asked "what happened?"

"I made a choice. I had to do it to save Dawn."

"And how are you, well, not dead?"

"They brought me back"

Faith wasn't sure who 'they' was, but she could guess it involved Willow and Xander.

She looked at the grave again and recognised a familiar pattern on the grave.

"B, when you , came back, where did you come back?" she thought she knew the answer, but she really didn't want to be right.

"They didn't know. They thought it didn't work. But it did. They thought they were rescuing me." Faith almost missed what Buffy said next "I wish they hadn't"

"Why B?"

"I was dead, and finished. I was happy, wherever I was I was happy. When I came back, it was like being in hell."

"Oh Buffy" She squeezed Buffy closer as they both looked at the now redundant grave.

"Spike was easy. He didn't expect anything or want anything from me. I could just be me, and get away from everyone, and stop having to pretend."

"I'm not one to judge B" but I wish you weren't doing this "If it makes you happy"

"But it doesn't. What we have... it's dragging me further away from everything, but I'm just not strong enough to stop."

"Buffy" Faith placed her hand on Buffy's chin and turned her chin to look into her eyes "You are the strongest person I know. Sure, you're a little lost tight now. But if you want to, you can and if you need help, I'll be there to help. I won't tell your secret, but you have to, but you have to know there's a reason you have kept it a secret." Looking into Buffy's eyes, Faith wanted to tell her so much more, she wanted to be the one to help her feel alive, but she knew that wasn't what Buffy needed now, and this time around she wanted to be there for Buffy.

Buffy looked away from Faith "I need to sort this out. Can I meet you back at the house?"

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"

Buffy shook her head "Thanks, but I need to do this myself, I'll meet you there, or I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll wait up. See you there"

While Faith waited up she thought about their situation. She hoped they could reconcile, but where would they go from there? She didn't know what she would do about it, but for Buffy's sake, for now she would put them aside.

When Buffy snuck in the front door Faith went to meet her.

Buffy looked surprised to see her "You waited up."

"Couldn't sleep" she lied "Come sit down for a bit"

She sat down on the couch and pulled Buffy into an embrace, Buffy's back up against her. Buffy fell asleep quickly.

As Faith started to fall asleep she couldn't help but think this might be harder than she initially thought.