"You don't know anything," Rose replied calmly.
"I do. But don't worry," she assured her, "I won't say your name."
Rose eyed her warily. "How can you be so sure that you know me?"
"Because I've read all about you."
"Impossible," Rose replied curtly.
"No it isn't."
"How do you know the Doctor?"
River gave a somewhat self-deprecating laugh. "Well. It's a long and complicated story. But I suppose, to put it simply, he's my husband."
Rose's eyebrows shot most of the way up her forehead. "Ah."
"I have to carve into bloody ancient cliffs to get his attention, but at least he shows up when I do."
"Right."
River sighed and sipped at her drink. "How funny."
"What's funny?"
"Both of us. Meeting like this." River shook her head in amusement. "Couldn't write it."
"River. How old is he, when you know him?"
"Oh, somewhere over a thousand years old," River waved her hand dismissively.
"What does he…look like?"
"Not like how he looked when you knew him, if that's what you're asking."
Rose breathed out roughly. "I see."
River pointed at her accusingly all of a sudden. "You're supposed to be trapped in a parallel universe."
"That's right, yeah," Rose replied casually.
"I don't suppose you've only come back to save the multiverse and then will go back there?"
"That depends."
"On what?"
"On which Doctor I find."
"Right."
"Don't worry, River. I won't get in the way of your, er, marriage."
River snorted and then arched an eyebrow suggestively. "Ordinarily I wouldn't mind if you did. Only I suspect that I wouldn't be part of the happy reunion."
"River -"
"It's all right," River shrugged. "He only married me to stop the destruction of time and space."
"I'm sure that's not true."
"Isn't it?" She sighed. "Why are we even talking about him? We've much more interesting things to discuss. Your favourite prisons, for instance. I'm guessing that if you travelled with him then you saw your fair share."
Rose smiled. "I did, yeah." A beep sounded by her hip. "Ah. Sorry, River. I'm gonna have to dash. Do me a favour, yeah? Don't tell him you've seen me."
"Wouldn't dream of it," River replied honestly.
Rose chuckled. "Right. Ta. See you around."
"Indeed you will."
Rose nodded and jumped off the bar stool, before making her way to the doors. Just before she exited, she turned around. River was waving at her cheerily. Rose waved back, utterly bewildered, then left.
She was fading away just a few steps after the bar doors swung shut. Just in time.
When Rose materialised back in Torchwood's basement, Pete was livid. "I can't believe you did that!" he exclaimed, pacing back and forth.
"Can't you?" Rose countered, folding her arms. "Then you don't know me as well as I thought you did."
He glared at her, then dialled a number into his mobile.
"Who are you ringing?"
"Your mother."
Rose groaned.
"She was worried about you," he snapped, then spoke into the receiver. "Jackie, it's me. Rose is back. She's fine, as far as I can see. Yes. Yes. No. Okay. I'll tell her. You too. Bye."
"What did she say?"
"She said to tell you that next time, don't forget your jacket."
Rose laughed, untying her scarf from around her waist and flinging it over a chair. "Right."
"Listen, Rose - Robert and Mickey are on their way."
"Oh for goodness - "
"You shouldn't be dimension hopping without the team here. Carrie is going to go mad when she finds out."
"Well don't tell her then."
"She's the one making all the notes, remember; you'll have to tell her."
"Fine. But I won't be bossed around by you lot. This is my project. And in case you haven't noticed, we've got a universe to bloody save. I don't have time for all this – this bureaucracy!"
"Fine," he echoed testily, then sat down heavily on a nearby table.
"You can go home, if you want, Pete," Rose said next, in quieter voice.
"I'll go when Robert and Mickey get here."
"Where's Owen, anyway?"
"He's exhausted. I sent him home."
"Right, okay."
"Rose!" shouted Robert, as he stormed into the vault. "What the hell do you think you're playing at, going off like that without any of us here?"
"I was using my initiative," she said, through clenched teeth.
"If something had gone wrong and it'd stopped working, you would've been stuck there without us to pull you back," Mickey added, as he came into the room.
"I'm going home," announced Pete, sounding knackered. "But I haven't finished telling you off yet, Rose, so report to my office in the morning, all right?"
Rose rolled her eyes. "All right." Rob was up close in her personal space, now, fiddling with the device at her hip. "Oi!" She swiped at his hand. "I'll get that, ta." She removed it and handed it to him.
"The coordinates aren't working," he muttered irritably, giving it a shake. "Where the hell were you?"
"In my universe."
"But you can't know that."
"Yes I can."
"But the coordinates aren't working!" he shouted.
"Yes, I know it's stopped working properly. But I know it was my universe."
"How? How do you know for sure?" Robert snapped.
"Because I met someone there who knows the Doctor, and there is only one Doctor."
"How do you know that for sure?"
"Because there were no doubles of the Time Lords. You know what I've told you. They were the highest in the hierarchy. They observed the universe. Universes. They weren't part of each one, only the primary, and they were able to jump between the parallels quicker than it would take me to pop to the corner shop, all right?"
"Fine. If you're sure."
"Yes, I'm sure. So now all we need to do is adjust the time coordinates. Right universe. Wrong time."
"And wrong planet," Mickey pointed out.
Rose sighed. "True. But hopefully our estimations weren't far off."
"You should have asked how close we were to Earth."
Rose glared at Robert. "She told me exactly where I was. I can work it out now, if only you'd give me the bloody interstellar maps – "
"She?" Mickey interjected.
"Yes. She."
"Who was she?"
Rose met Mickey's gaze firmly and replied without hesitation. "The Doctor's wife."