Shavneral

Chapter 8 – Kakarot

Reluctantly, I crawled out from under the bed; from under my safe haven that at least somewhat shielded me from this chaotic world I'd been dropped into. I wouldn't say I'd rather be in my cage back at Shavneral…. damn, it was terrifying to even think that word now…. but I'd probably rather stay under that unnamed bed – and I say unnamed because it wasn't mine, or anyone else's – than come out as Vegeta requested. And it was a request; he didn't make it a command, and I wondered why I was surprised by that. Maybe he just seemed the commanding type, but there was something about his character that just…. I don't know, but it was on the tip of my tongue a moment ago.

Whatever. My questions were erased as - the instant I crept out from under that bed - I felt the very presence of the room and the world around me pressing in, as if the very air were trying to crush me. Feeling unbelievably confined though having no idea why, I nervously met Vegeta's eye; wondering what exactly he wanted from me. What did I have to offer him? I was barely even a person anymore; he'd said so himself.

"See?" he said quietly, "It's not so bad."

I glanced around the room, realizing I hadn't even really looked at it before except to find some kind of security. The walls were white; I think I'd only seen white walls once that I could remember, and the curtains let in enough light to show me that the sun was setting. I still wasn't used to seeing the sun; and I think I'd stare at it forever if it weren't so damn bright. The floor was soft, carpeted, unlike the stone that had braced against my knees for so long. I think what really hit me was that there were no bars. Obviously. But still, the difference was both relieving and unnerving at the same time. How was I supposed to know where the boundaries were when there were no bars? I couldn't just go anywhere, could I?

"What now?" I found myself asking. Clearly, Vegeta was expecting something from me; I didn't know what, I didn't know why.

I almost wished I had the same sneering confidence I'd had yesterday when I spat in the eyes of the man who tried to inject me with testosterone. I wished I had the same eagerness for battle and disregard for everyone and everything. Now… I felt like I was stuck somewhere I didn't belong. Like I was outside looking in. Or rather, that I was inside and everyone else was looking at me. As if waiting for me to slip up; demanding me to live up to their expectations. I didn't even know any of them; but I was a part of their world now, and the outside world had rules.

Vegeta didn't answer me, and I flinched and almost bit his hand off when he absently traced a finger down the rough skin at the end of what was left of my nose. Instead I blinked at him, confused and debating whether to scurry back under the bed like the coward I'd become. I had to fight to keep my hands still; I wanted to attack something, but at the same time, I wanted to flee.

"So different," he murmured, "I feel like I have to get to know you all over again,"

My whole body was tense, afraid he'd touch me again. He didn't, but I didn't relax; I wondered if I ever would, if I ever had.

"And," Vegeta went on quietly, never raising his voice any higher as he stayed kneeled before me, his eyes searching mine almost curiously, "Maybe, in a strange way, this is a good thing. A second chance. A chance to start over for the both of us."

I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, and I was getting more inclined to retreat back under the bed by the second.

I started to say something; to ask him what he was talking about or why he was just sitting there, but I couldn't get the words out.

"Look at you," I felt a shiver run through me as he lightly placed his hands on my shoulders, "Shaking like a leaf, Kakarot."

One of his hands wandered, and brushed against a deep scar at the base of my neck. Returning to sanity in an instant, I leapt back as if burned, my breath hissing through my teeth in a gasp.

"S-stop! Get back!" I shouted, baring my teeth in a snarl and flashing my steel spur at him.

He blinked, emotions I couldn't read flooding into his expressive eyes.

"Oh, I-I'm sorry Kakarot," he stammered, "I…. I know you don't like people to touch you, I just…" he broke off, getting quickly to his feet, "I'll let you be, I'm sorry."

Gods, I'm such a coward. I berated myself over and over. I'd taken the sting of a whip and the singe of an open flame to my skin more times than I could count, and a gentle –friendly – touch made me practically bite his head off? Pathetic.

Still, I didn't know what had come over Vegeta. What had come over me, but I didn't want it to happen again.

I let him leave; ignoring the flutter of fear in my chest at being left alone. I needed a new hiding place. One he wouldn't find me so easily in. My eyes landed on a closet in the corner.

Swallowing my mental debates, I slipped inside the closet and made a sort of nest among the jackets and other various articles of clothing, bringing my knees up to my chest and curling my tail around them. I closed the door softly and let my vision plunge into darkness. That felt much better. Safer.

It took me a long, long moment to realize I had just created yet another cage for myself.

X

-Vegeta

What was wrong with me? Gods! I was such an idiot! I finally got Kakarot calmed down enough to come out from hiding, and then I had to breach the barriers he'd thrown up solely to protect himself? How cruel was that? It was literally the same damn day that he'd been liberated from his prison; did I expect him to snap back into being how he used to be in a matter of hours?

I might have just made everything worse; because now Kakarot would be even slower to trust, knowing he couldn't rely on something as simple as personal space!

I had no idea what had gotten into me; I just wanted to explore the changes made to my friend, my comrade; to verify that he was still there and was actually real. Had I really missed him that much?

His voice – his rough, sandpaper voice – when he told me to stop, to 'get back' kept ringing in my ears. The blatant terror and… and question in the harshly shouted words. It was as if Kakarot were asking desperately, 'Why? Why? I trusted you!'

But had he? Had Kakarot trusted me? I doubted it. No, it was more like… he'd felt safer with me. More so than he had alone. And I'd shattered that. Careless. Useless. That's all I was.

I let myself collapse on the sofa; unwilling to go to bed, unable to stay standing. I allowed myself to think, since I had a moment.

Only Kakarot. Only he could have survived so long under such circumstances. A lesser person would have broken after day one; but he held out. That, in itself, was amazing. I think I would have sooner killed myself than clung to life with the determination that he'd shown; had I been in his position. And yet, anyone but Kakarot deserved to be stuck in such a place for years. The man had all but been a saint all his life; defending the little planet called Earth that he'd named home, and even other planets that he had no claim over but respected just the same. He'd been pure, innocent, even angelic. Why did he have to be subjugated to such torment and unrelenting control day in and day out? It must have been torture to even wake up in the morning, and even more so to fall asleep at night. I could barely imagine it.

I wondered what it had been like. Just the simple, daily things. What was it like to have fifty-pound chains dragging on your arms and neck every morning, every night? What was it like to wake up to bars surrounding you every day? What was it like to be forced to kill when you'd never taken a life out of selfishness in your life? To have your back and shoulders whipped until the skin was on the verge of falling off at the seams being lashed into it? What was it like? How much effort did it take just to keep breathing?

I could guess, but I'd never really know.

I felt a strange new emotion come over me. I'd only ever felt it for my son from the future, perhaps…. maybe. I wanted to… protect Kakarot. I wanted to guard him and shield him from the world, to tell him everything would be alright and stroke that silky raven hair.

Preposterous. Ridiculous. I would not stand for it. I was a prince; and princes did not stoop that low for anyone.

I remembered the haunted expression on Kakarot's face as he recoiled from me; breathing hard and fast, eyes wide… it was palpable horror.

I'd thought I could solve this whole problem by rescuing Kakarot from his terrible prison. But no, the rescue was only the beginning.

The real problem started now.

TBC

((Sorry it's short, it's Monday night and I need to sleep!))