Shavneral
Chapter 13 – Kakarot
Vegeta's words stayed in my mind as his hands returned to my shoulders lightly. I'll admit, whatever he was doing, he was good at it. I could almost feel some of the tension coiled in my muscles melting from me. But there was something he said that confused me.
My caged Kakarot.
I remembered what it was like to be in a cage. Surrounded by unforgiving iron bars on all sides, unable to see the world outside, unable to escape the hell I lived my half-life in.
Caged? Not anymore, thank you. I had been told more than once that I was a free man, and while I was just barely grasping what that meant, I was fairly certain that cages were not involved with the idea. So why would Vegeta bring up the word caged when he described me?
Like just about everything else he said, it was puzzling.
I couldn't tell you how relieved I was that as the tautness of my muscles faded, so did my fear. For a brief moment, I was relaxed, and I could barely believe it.
It wasn't that the fear had disappeared, it was just that for a moment, it had been quieted. It was amazing really, and I reveled in it, closing my eyes and simply soaking up the soothing ministrations of Vegeta's skilled fingers working at the remaining knots of stress.
"Kakarot?" Vegeta asked after a long moment, his hands withdrawing.
I kept my eyes closed as I responded quietly, "Hmm?"
"It's getting late, you should get some sleep."
Thoughts drifted to the cold closet upstairs and the dark of another sleep-deprived night. My eyes snapped open, and I slashed my tail in frustration as I felt the relaxation waver and start to unravel as fear creeped back in.
Dammit. One moment's peace and then it falls apart again.
"There's no sleep for me there." I muttered, suppressing a shiver as I was suddenly aware of how vulnerable I'd made myself to Vegeta just now. I was lucky he had decided not to abuse that.
But why didn't he? Everyone I've let my guard down around have manipulated and tormented me...
Vegeta seemed to hesitate, as if he wanted to say something but was afraid to say it.
I turned and looked at him, wary and curious.
"If... If you don't want to sleep alone..." he said tentatively, his black eyes averting from mine, "You are welcome to... join me and... and share my bed..."
I blinked, scrutinizing the offer blatant on his face. He seemed honest, but I wasn't sure...
"It's up to you," the prince added quickly, a dusting of awkward flush coloring his cheeks.
I opened my mouth to say no, to retreat back to the solitude I'd found a tiny amount of comfort in before. I'd given Vegeta way too much rein, and he could choose to take advantage of that easily. So easily...
But then the little voice of doubt I'd heard before niggled at my mind.
If you run from him you'll end up right back where you started. Do you want to go in circles or do you want to fix your current situation?
I don't know what I want anymore. I thought.
What could happen? The voice asked.
So much could happen. So much could go wrong.
Like what? Since you've met him, Vegeta has done nothing but help you. What would make you think he has any reason to hurt you?
They all did. They all wanted to hurt me. I thought fervently.
He's different. The little voice insisted.
He's not. He can't be.
How will you know if you don't give him a chance?
I had no comeback for that.
Just give him this one chance.
I sighed.
"O-okay." I said carefully.
I hoped to whatever gods would listen that I hadn't made a huge mistake.
X
-Vegeta
I wasn't sure whether I'd heard correctly. Kakarot was agreeing? There must be some mistake.
But as I got to my feet, he followed suit without a word. The anxiety was plain on his face, in his lashing tail and darting eyes, but if he would go through with what he said it would be a huge leap of progress. It would mean he was no longer afraid of letting his guard down in his sleep. That he trusted someone not to take advantage of him when it was easiest for them to do so. Even if he said aloud that he did not trust me, his actions might prove differently.
Just don't fuck this up. Do not fuck this up. I berated myself as I led Kakarot uncertainly up the stairs.
Kakarot hesitated when we reached the bedroom door, but he maintained the silence, his tail low and sweeping with wariness.
I just want to help him. I thought resignedly. Nothing else.
Kakarot seemed a little unsure what to do with a bed, and I felt a twinge of pity as I thought about this. In his memory, he'd never slept in a real bed before. It was such a simple comfort that he'd gone completely without.
I lifted one side of the blankets and slid into the bed, nervous and worried that Kakarot would bolt or change his mind, he seemed about ready to do either.
To my surprise and delight, he hesitated only a moment longer before crawling in as well, but he didn't relax by any means, staying on the edge, his left hand bared in the space between us, the moonlight through the window glinting on the blade attached to his thumb. He was deliberately reminding me that even though he was briefly letting down almost all of his guard, he could still attack me and possessed the weapon to do so.
And I wondered how on earth I was going to sleep with that unnerving thought in my head.
X
I must have fallen asleep at some point though, because shortly after, I found myself in a dream.
~ It was dark, pitch black no matter how my eyes strained to catch some glimpse of light. I was lying in my bed, but I'd never been more wide awake. I could smell blood and fear, and a chill of dread trickled down my spine as a single point of light pierced the room, rebounding off the cracked mirror on the opposite wall.
A flicker of movement flashed in the reflective surface, and my heartbeat broke into a gallop in my chest. This was an unusual feeling for me, the feeling of being prey. Of being hunted.
A shadow traversed the room, and my eyes hurried to follow its progress. Something lithe... predatory... I caught a glimpse of a dark tail, the glimmer of two gold rings at the end of it... the flash of a steel blade winking in the blackness.
I was about to speak when suddenly I was pinned on my back, a hand clamped over my mouth, a thin metal blade digging into my cheek, drawing blood. I looked up to see a pair of slate eyes trained unwaveringly on mine. Kakarot's eyes. All the fear I had ever seen in them had drained away completely, leaving them – rather than the innocent, friendly eyes I remembered – as fiery points of spite and savagery.
His lips drew back in a half-snarl, half-sneer; and his hand moved away from my mouth. Even then, I doubted I could speak if I wanted to. I was actually terrified, something I had never, ever been before.
The shadowy form of Kakarot's face faded out of focus as he drew back away from me for a moment, though I could still make out his eyes, like live coals, burning in the dark.
"K-Kakarot...?" I forced out, commanding my tongue heavy with fear to produce sound.
He either ignored me or didn't hear, and he raised his head, alert like a predator, before disappearing from my bed, into the shadows beyond my field of vision.
I breathed a quiet sigh of relief, but the same breath caught in my throat as something heavy and solid dropped suddenly directly on top of me, pinning me down.
I got one glimpse of the flame in Kakarot's black eyes as he leered over me, an instant before his hand slashed from my waist up, carving into my flesh with the wicked blade of his only weapon.
I watched the sickening spatter of scarlet, black in the dark, cover his face, felt the hot trickle of my own blood running down my skin.
For a moment the monster pinning me down just glared at me, his tongue flicking out to trace his bloodstained upper lip, and then he raised his armed hand above me.
I screamed as he brought the blade down across my face, a moment before I jolted awake. ~
X
I was struggling for breath, cold sweat soaking me, my heart racing, drumming against my ribs as though trying to escape my chest.
I glanced across the moonlight-striped bed at the sleeping form of Kakarot on the opposite edge. He had his left hand clenched in a tight fist, the blade still completely visible in the moon's glow. I studied the shallowly curved length of steel, clean and innocently glinting in contrast to the blood-soaked lethal weapon I remembered from my nightmare.
Gods, what a vivid dream that was...
It was like it wasn't even a dream, just a terrifying spin on reality. And the predatory Kakarot that had attacked me was strangely and shockingly plausible. It wasn't such an unrealistic idea, considering what I knew about him.
And it was then that I spotted a rather crucial flaw in this plan of mine.
My goal right now was to heal Kakarot physically and mentally, to help him recover and lose his fear.
But I'd completely forgotten one important fact.
Without his fear keeping him docile... Kakarot's sole purpose was to kill.
TBC
((How do you like that little twist? Short chapter, it's late and tomorrow's Monday, so I'll be needing some semblance of sleep. And I just updated stories three times in less than twenty-four hours. Wow.
I figured we could use a look into one of Vegeta's dreams since we got to see Kakarot's in chapter 10, and yes Kakarot is losing a lot of his fear right now, making a lot of progress, but as Vegeta just figured out... that might not be as good a thing as everyone hoped.
Sorry I'm only updating this once every month or two, and that every time I do the chapters are ridiculously short, but it's that kind of story, I guess. And it really is one of my favorites of all the stories I've written.
Thanks as always, for reading and reviewing.
-Shinsun))