I'm so so sorry guys. Its been over a MONTH. Thank you, all of you, for being patient and not trying to kill me.

Well, Happy new year! Its truly a year for a new beginning, basically I'm starting over fresh in a lot of things. For one. Writing. I'm going to attempt to get a better way to inspire myself. Two. Relationships. Oh how fun. My 15 month relationship with my now ex-girlfriend ended on the 29th, and surprisingly, I'm okay. Three. School. Bleh. But, in order to be a better writer, I'm actually going to find a way to make myself understand the subjects I have a lot of difficulty in. Also, my digital design class- I NEED TO FINISH THE FUCKING WORDART PROJECT UGGHKDJFDSALFJSAK But I don't know what to do. Still. :/ Just… Fail. Four. Friendships. Oh. Made a new friend. I spazzed out and then felt like an idiot. I do this about everyone who ever talks to me online, simply because I'm still new, and I'm completely ignored in school. XD SO its like 'OMG THEY NOTICED ME?! OMG OMG OMG OMG ! Yay! :D" So PMing me equals to me getting a weird fluttery feeling (0.o?) and being like "THANK YOU YOU AWESOME PERSON FOR TALKING TO ME. YOU JUST MADE ME FEEL LIKE PEOPLE ACTUALLY SEE ME." But… not out loud. *shakes head quickly*

Alright. What's your new year resolutions?

Chapter 36: The Inbetween (And Memories)

I woke up to the sound of thunder and heavy rain. Russia laid next to me, still fast asleep, snuggling up to me and the pillow, as if he couldn't decide which he liked better. Oh great. He can't decide whether he likes a fricking pillow or me more! You know what. Krystine. Calm the fuck down.

I returned my gaze to his face, watching as he breathed in and out. It was amazing to think that I'd been able to be with him. I watched him sleep for a few more minutes, before dragging my butt down to my bedroom.

I looked outside and saw that the rain had calmed down to a mist, and decided that I wanted to take a walk. I got out a pair of light blue jean shorts, and a tank top and jacket, and my ipod. After dressing quickly, I went outside, and headed towards the woods that made up most of the property.

I began the walk, feeling the mist on my skin, and the sun warming up the air. I put in my earbuds and listened to my music on shuffle. I let out a quiet breath, enjoying the feeling of the air around me.

I began to run. The adreline filled my body quickly and as I ran I unzipped my jacket, allowing the mist to hit my tank top and bared skin, and my breathing became more rapid. Ah..

I love this feeling. The feeling of being alone but being with something- or someone- else. The air surrounded me as I ran and the beat of the song that was playing beat into my heart, making my mind swirl. My brain worked to find a internal music video for it, and I could feel my ribs begin to hurt when I switched to the next song.

I slowed down, and let myself catch up. My heart beating fast through my chest, I took the earbuds out, and shut my ipod off, setting it in my pocket. I looked around at the scenery and smiled.

Mossy ground was everywhere, and the mist had covered everything with a pretty wet glow almost. The plants had water slowly dripping off of them, and I could hear droplets hitting the leaves high above me in the trees. The trees were tall, and old. I couldn't reach any of the branches on some of them, I could tell by looking at them.

I began to walk slowly, my sneakers damp from the rain. I loved running at my school, and I was in cross country. It was an excuse to get taken by our coach to the park and run on the trails, since we lived nearby one.

We'd always stop at the benches in the middle of the park and eat a quick lunch, then go home. That was our morning run during the summer. Thankfully, the park was close enough we all could walk home.

I sighed.

Then, my mom told me this year I couldn't go, and that I was 'forbidden' to run cross country. Fucking mom.

I pictured her glaring at me, her hair curled and perfect just like her face, her shriveled up eyes filled with anger and rage. This how I've always remembered her, sadly.

I can't remember the way she looked when I was 6 and I was getting bullied at school, and she took me to shop at ToysRUs, and how she played with me the entire time- and oh god, Dad was there. He smiled at her, and she smiled back, and they showed me how to play on the toy keyboard. And her laugh… I can't remember the exact sound and I won't lie. It makes me sad… It was beautiful, I know that though. She looked at my dad and I remember saying that I loved them.

I remember eating at an old style resturaunt, and my dad blowing bubbles in his chocolate milk, and me laughing and following suit, and mom saying in a teasing tone "Oh god, you two are going to make me so embarrassed!"

I smiled, thinking of the good memories I had of those times. Dad and mom. Mom, Dad, and Me.

After he died..

Mom just disappeared from my life, leaving me with my grandma. Grandma could only keep me for a year before she couldn't afford it anymore, and so began the pass around of Krystine.

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

I actually lived in California with my dad's sister for awhile, before she decided to go into the army at 24. I was 9 years old, and on a plane to Sammie's house.

I remember meeting both Sammie and Daniel, and how Sammie even back then was insane. She was insanely tomboyish, and when I met her I thought she was a guy. She had pierced ears, and her blonde hair was cut into a Mohawk of some type. When it wasn't spiked, it fell down to cover most of the shaved part of her head. When I had got there though, she was in the process of growing it out, so it was very odd.

Daniel was quiet, and constantly ignored me for something else. Eventually, Sammie had threatened to hurt him and I told her that she was a brat, and he immediately liked me.

Then one day, my mom came and picked me up. I hadn't seen her in a long time. When I was 12, I woke up to find her gone, and just a note on the fridge saying "You're going to Daniel's" and his number.

I lived with him until I was 13, and He got me into Cross Country, and a lot of stuff. He was so cool to live with. He was on his 2nd year of college, and the apartment was small, but he always made me smile, even when he ruined my chance at dating..

Mom took me back a month before my 14th birthday, and told me I couldn't go any more of the cross country or track meets. Ever.

I hated it so much, but I couldn't stand to sit around and not do anything. I went to a church lock in with Turtle, which was strangely fun. I left sad, because I knew I'd be just back with my mom. And her stupidity.

Then, at the beginning of this summer, she told me to pack up my things, and get ready to move in with my grandma. Everything, was just,… I was happy, until I found out Grandmother was sick.

Mom didn't care. She was off with a boyfriend the second she left, I know it. She always is. It never changes.

I came out of my mind, and realizing I was crying.

It was like a dream I had when I was 8…

(Dream)

I woke up to see the room we had been in for the viewing. Everyone was saying they were sorry. Dressed in black.

I was crying, and had a black dress on that was itchy, and my heart ached.

Only this time, my mom wasn't there.

It was just my Grandma, and my aunts and cousins.

There were two coffins. I stopped crying and realized something was wrong and went to the second coffin. Daddy's was open, but this one was closed.

I pushed the coffin open and I heard someone gasp. Inside laid my mother, pale, and dead.

I screamed out, and saw her face.

Her face was split in half, her lips sewn together with a black thread. Her nose was mashed to her face, and crooked. Her eyes- or where they should have been- were open, and bloody. No eyes…

I could see her teeth through her lips, and I looked farther down, crying as I saw that her chest was split too, and I could see that it was sewn together roughly.

She had no hand… It was covered with a cloth.

Then, all the sudden, her eyelids blinked and she looked at me, and smiled, her teeth covered with grime, and blood, "You…"

"….Its your fault I'm this way."

I was crying heavily, scared now.

I quickly got up, and started running towards the direction I came.

Suddenly, I fell, and cried out, hitting a fallen branch hard. I whimpered, crying. My leg was bleeding from the branch, and my chest hurt from having the breath knocked out of me. I laid there for a moment, just crying.

"Why can't I just be a fucking smart person for once?! Not fall on my ass because I'm too fucking stupid!?" I pulled myself up slowly, and my leg still bleeding, limped towards the house.

LINEBREAKLINEBREAKLINEBREAKL INEBREAKOMFGLINEBREAKLINEBRE AK

When I got to the house, the first person I saw was Russia- In the sunroom of course. He walked out, saw my leg, and picked me up, carrying me towards the bathroom. I laid my head on his chest, closing my eyes.

What would I do without you, Russia?

Okay. :3 So. Tell me anything, review, tell me I suck, tell me I should have written sooner, whatever you want. You can even tell me to eat yellow snow. I don't care. :D ..XD wait. That was weird.

For this story, for every review, I will respond. That is my new years resolution. Even if you said "Loved it. Lol" I'm going to say "I'm glad! It makes me happy to find out I wrote something that people enjoy reading, because that's my main goal. If you have any questions, or you think something is weird, wrong, etc, respond and tell me , I'd be glad to explain or fix it." :D