Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Dick Wolf. I'm only borrowing them for awhile.

A/N: I know Olivia is a little OOC in this fic, but that is my intention! :~) I hope you like it, please let me know your thoughts! Also, thanks to my amazing beta, you ladies rock!

Chapter Two

The next few days passed slowly.

Unwilling to leave Olivia alone, Melinda and Casey worked out a schedule where someone was with her at all times. Cragen, Fin and Munch each stayed with Olivia a few hours during the day. Then Casey or Melinda stayed with her overnight.

Most of the time, Olivia slept. When she was awake, it wasn't for long and in those short times, she stayed wrapped up in a blanket on the couch or in Elliot's recliner.

Olivia's morning sickness was bad. The brief periods she was up in the mornings were spent mainly in the bathroom.

Even though Melinda was a wonderful cook and had filled Olivia's refrigerator with delicious meals ready to eat, it was still a battle to get Olivia to eat more than a couple of bites.

The morning of Elliot's funeral dawned cold but sunny.

Olivia looked over at the alarm clock on the bedside table as sunlight began to stream in the bedroom window. She pulled the covers up higher to ward off the cold that permeated the room. Tears filled her eyes as the realization of what the day held settled in over her. She squeezed her eyes shut and tears rolled out from underneath her closed eyelids. She reached, blindly, across the bed and pulled Elliot's pillow over to her. With her eyes still closed, she buried her face in the feathery softness, inhaling her husband's scent that still lingered there. She quickly surrendered to sleep once again as tears still slipped from her eyes, soaking the pillowcase.

A short while later, there was a knock on the door of the master bedroom.

Olivia stirred but didn't fully wake. Another knock, a little louder this time, drew her from sleep. "Yeah?" she mumbled without moving from underneath the covers.

The door slowly opened and Casey stepped into the bedroom. "Liv, it's time to get up, honey," she spoke softly.

"Don't wanna…" Olivia's response was muffled by Elliot's pillow that she still clung to.

"It's already 8:15, there's only an hour and a half before we have to leave," Casey urged gently as she crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Not going," Olivia muttered, still without moving.

"Honey…"

"I can't… I just can't."

Casey sighed softly as she laid a gentle hand on her friend's back. "I know you don't want to, sweetie. I don't either… none of us do."

Olivia buried her head further into Elliot's pillow, squeezing her eyes shut tightly, trying to will the day away.

"But we have to," Casey continued.

"No," Olivia muttered stubbornly.

"I know this is hard to face, hard to deal with. But you're not alone. I'm right here and I'm not leaving you to face this alone. We're all right here with you, every step."

Olivia groaned and the color drained from her face as a wave of nausea washed over her.

Knowing what was coming, Casey stood and pulled the covers back.

Seconds later, Olivia jumped out of bed and raced for the bathroom. She slammed the door behind her and dropped to her knees in front of the toilet, emptying the meager contents of her stomach. She groaned quietly as her stomach clenched and rolled. Resting one trembling hand on her still flat stomach, her voice shook as she tried to control her emotions. "I know that you're just letting me know you're in there, baby," she whispered. "But can you give Mommy a break? Please?" Tears rolled down her face as her heart seemed to constrict in time with her stomach.

Casey gave her a couple of minutes of privacy before knocking on the door and letting herself into the bathroom to help her friend. "Oh, honey," she spoke kindly when she saw the tears running down Olivia's face. She walked to the bathroom closet and retrieved a wash cloth. "It's ok," she soothed.

"No," Olivia sobbed. "It's not ok," she leaned back over the toilet, losing the last of what was in her stomach.

Casey moved to the sink and ran the cloth under a stream of cold water. She wrung it out, then knelt beside Olivia. She pulled her friend's hair back as dry heaves wracked Olivia's body. "Shhh…" Casey soothed, gently rubbing the cool cloth across the back of her neck.

"You shouldn't have to do this," Olivia cried. "Elliot should be here."

"I know," Casey spoke softly and kindly.

"I want him here. I want my husband," she sobbed before hanging over the toilet as dry heaves shook her body again.

Casey gently raised Olivia up and washed her face with the damp wash cloth. "Shhh…" she soothed again. "Take a breath."

The pale faced brunette inhaled quickly, taking a shallow, ragged breath.

"Slower," Casey coached quietly.

Olivia leaned into the coolness of the wash cloth as her friend worked to calm her down. She forced herself to take a couple of slow breaths.

"That's it… easy now," the red-headed attorney encouraged. "Slow breaths, hon. Slow deep breaths."

After a few more bouts with nausea and morning sickness, Olivia exited the bathroom, leaning on Casey for support as her knees trembled.

Moving slowly, Casey helped Olivia downstairs and into the living room. She eased Olivia down onto the couch and tucked a blanket around her legs. She gently leaned her back, encouraging her to lay her head down on the back of the couch. She laid a fresh wash cloth, damp and cool, across her friend's throat before speaking quietly. "Close your eyes, try to relax a little. I'm gonna go fix some toast and a cup of tea."

"No food," Olivia moaned.

"You need something in your stomach, it'll help keep the nausea somewhat at bay. Just toast and tea, ok? That's light, it won't hurt you."

Laying one hand on her stomach, Olivia sighed and nodded slightly without raising her head from the back of the couch. "Alright," she sighed in defeat, knowing Casey wouldn't give up until she ate at least a couple of bites.

"Close your eyes, relax," Casey instructed gently then disappeared into the kitchen.

Resting her head on the back of the couch, Olivia closed her eyes and concentrated on keeping her breathing slow. Soon, her mind began to wander and her thoughts brought tears to her eyes, yet again. She moved the cool cloth from her throat and laid it on the coffee table before laying down and burying her face in the couch pillows. "How am I supposed to do this without you, El? How am I supposed to raise our baby without you? I can't. I need you, our baby needs you," she mumbled almost silently as tears rolled down her cheeks and soaked the pillows. "How am I supposed to let you go? I can't say goodbye to you… not today… not ever."

It didn't take long for Casey to return with a tray. She quietly crossed the living room and put the tray next to the wash cloth on the coffee table. Then sat down on the edge of the couch in front of Olivia before gently reaching over and rubbing her friend's side. "I know you're not sleeping," she whispered. "Your breathing pattern gives you away."

Olivia sighed as she opened her eyes and looked up at Casey. "Why can't this day just go away?" she asked brokenly. "I can't face this, I just can't."

Casey took her arm and gently tugged Olivia into a sitting position. "You're not alone," she spoke softly, patiently repeating the promise that she had made repeatedly over the past couple of days. "I'm here with you… we're all here with you. We're not gonna leave you to face this alone. Captain, Munch, Fin, Melinda, me… we're in this with you every step of the way, all of us."

Wiping away tears, Olivia looked out the window on the other side of the living room. "How can the sun be shining so bright… today of all days? The sun should refuse to shine, the weather should be as gloomy as I feel."

"I know," Casey answered kindly. "It doesn't seem right."

An hour later, the doorbell rang and Casey called up the stairs as she made her way to the door. "Liv, it's time to go." She opened Olivia's front door, allowing Melinda to enter the house.

"Hey," Melinda greeted her quietly. "How's Liv?"

"Worse than last night," Casey admitted softly.

"Were you able to get her to eat anything?"

"Only half of a piece of toast and a cup of tea."

Melinda shook her head worriedly. "Well, that's better than nothing. But we've got to do something to get more nourishment into her or I'm gonna have to hospitalize her."

"I dunno if she could handle that right now."

"I'll only do that as a last resort, but we've GOT to get more in her than just a couple of bites a day."

Casey nodded in agreement. She turned and called up the stairs again. "Liv… let's go honey." She moved to the hall closet and retrieved Olivia's jacket as well as her own.

Olivia appeared at the top of the stairs and slowly started down. She stopped halfway down and looked back up the stairs before looking down at her friends. "I…" she swallowed back tears. "I'm just gonna stay here, you guys go on," her voice was tight with unshed tears and she picked absentmindedly at her black dress.

Melinda hurried up the stairs to where Olivia stood and gently wrapped an arm around her shoulders before she could start back upstairs. "Come on, sweetie," Melinda whispered words of encouragement. "I know this is the hardest thing you've ever had to do but we're right here with you," she rubbed Olivia's back as she gently led her down the stairs. "Just lean on us, let us hold you up. We won't let you fall, I promise."

With her jacket already on, Casey held Olivia's jacket open and slipped it on her when the other two women reached the front door. She quickly set the alarm; she turned the lock on the door and pulled it closed behind them before following her friends down the sidewalk to the waiting car.

A/N 2: So, what do you think? Please leave me a review! Up next... Elliot's funeral, this bumpy ride gets even rougher! Anyone interested? Let me know! :~)