Disclaimer: Not mine! All recognizable characters belong to Dick Wolf
A/N: As always, many thanks to my awesome betas! You ladies are priceless! I'm so proud to have you as betas and as friends!
Elliot's funeral... Can Olivia really face this? Or will it be too much for her? Please leave me a review. Reviews are very motivating!
Chapter Three
Once they reached the small church, Melinda quickly found the spot that was reserved for them and parked the car.
"Dang…" Casey let out a quiet, low whistle as she looked around at the sheer number of cars. The parking lot was packed, not a single parking space was left and as far as they could see, vehicles lined the street on both sides. "I know Elliot was a good cop," she glanced over at Olivia. "And an even better man… but I didn't expect this many people to show up." She opened the door and slid out of the back seat.
Melinda followed suit and exited the driver's side.
They waited in silence for several moments. Looking back into the vehicle, they quickly realized that Olivia was not going to get out of the car on her own.
They both walked around to the passenger side and Melinda opened the door. Casey leaned in, slightly, and wrapped an arm around Olivia's shoulders. "Come on, honey," she spoke softly as she gently tugged Olivia toward the door, encouraging her to exit the vehicle.
"I can't do this…" Olivia's voice was barely audible as she slowly followed Casey's prodding.
"That's what we're here for," Melinda answered softly when Olivia got out of the car. "Just lean on us," she said as she wrapped an arm around her friend's waist.
Casey closed the car door without removing her arm from around Olivia's shoulders. "We're right here to catch you. We won't let you fall," she promised.
Olivia slowly made her way to the front door, flanked by Melinda on one side and Casey on the other. Together they walked into the small church and Olivia's steps faltered as all eyes turned to her.
"It's ok," Melinda whispered as she urged Olivia forward, down the aisle.
Casey reached for the dark sunglasses that were still perched on Olivia's face even though they had entered the church.
Wanting to maintain the flimsy barrier of darkness between herself and the events happening around her, Olivia pushed the glasses back up her nose without a word and continued up the aisle.
Casey relented but shared a look of concern with Melinda.
Cragen, Fin and Munch, each respectfully wearing their dress uniforms, all sat in the section reserved for family. They turned, almost in unison, their gazes coming to rest on the three women who were slowly making their way forward.
Fin quickly stood and hurried down the aisle to them. He spoke softly and kindly. "Hey, Liv. Come on, honey."
"Fin…" Olivia spoke so quietly that if Fin hadn't seen her lips move; he wouldn't have known she said anything.
"I know, Baby-Girl. I know," he whispered as she uncharacteristically and willingly fell forward into his embrace.
Fin held her in a tight hug for a moment before pulling away just enough to wrap his arm around her waist and gently urge her toward their seats.
Cragen and Munch both stood, in a solemn greeting, when the others reached the front.
Munch squeezed Olivia's hand reassuringly as he leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek.
She gave a slight nod of acknowledgement as Munch reached up and gently pulled her jacket off of her and laid it across the back of the front pew. She froze in place as she silently took in the sight of the giant picture of Elliot on an easel in front of the pews. He looked so handsome in his dress uniform. Tears slid from underneath her sunglasses and down her cheeks as she remembered the day the picture was taken almost a year ago, only a few months after their wedding. Her eyes roamed to the right of the displayed picture, on the other side of the podium and found another easel, holding a cork board covered with pictures, newspaper clippings and other mementos. She slowly walked up to the corkboard, looking closely at the pictures and things that their friends had lovingly chosen to honor Elliot's life and career. Tears continued to flow freely down her cheeks as she reached forward. She gently fingered the different pictures of Elliot, of herself with Elliot and of them with their friends and "chosen family".
Cragen moved to the front, next to Olivia and reached up for her sunglasses, much the same way as Casey had done only moments before.
Still wanting to keep her somewhat protective barrier, Olivia reached up and pushed the sunglasses back up yet again.
"Sweetheart…" Cragen spoke so gently, so softly.
Her heart broke a little more at the kindness in Cragen's voice; and in yet another uncharacteristic movement, she allowed herself to lean into his fatherly presence. A presence that she had craved and longed for, for most of her life. Yes, she was brave and she was strong. And she had done well, very well, for herself; but right now, all she felt was heart crushing grief. She felt so lost and so unsure of herself. Right now, she needed a father, a daddy; she needed that parental strength and unconditional love. Right now, she needed someone to step in and take all the decisions out of her hands; she was in no shape to make any decisions. She was grieving too hard to make sense of anything.
She didn't fight it this time when Cragen reached up again and with even more gentleness than the first time, took her sunglasses and pulled them off of her face. He reached up and wiped her tears away with the tenderness of a father. Then wrapping his arm around her waist, he led her back to the front pew where the others were sitting; he sat down on the pew and gently pulled Olivia down beside him.
A few minutes passed before the Priest stepped up to the podium between the displayed picture and the beautiful cork board display. He paused for a moment then moved around the podium and down to where Olivia sat, with her head down, surrounded by the SVU family. He crouched down in front of her and held his hands out for both of hers.
She slowly raised her head to meet the caring gaze of the Priest who had played such a significant part in the life she shared with Elliot. She reached out her trembling hands and placed them in his as yet another fresh wave of tears spilled down her face. "Father Andrew…" her lips moved but no sound came out.
He squeezed her hands and whispered soothingly. "I can't image how hard this is for you; I know how close you and Elliot were. Just don't forget that I'm here if you need anything, the door is always open. Please come by and let me know how you're doing, let me help if I can."
Olivia nodded silently, unable to voice her thoughts, feelings and fears.
Father Andrew released one of her hands as he reached over and pulled out the brand new handkerchief that he had tucked into his other sleeve for just this occasion. He gently pressed it into her hand before he stood and returned to the podium.
For the next hour, Olivia's attention drifted in and out as she allowed memories to wash over her, keeping her from actively listening as Father Andrew and others spoke about Elliot and what he meant to them.
Soon, the funeral concluded; Olivia sat, unmoving, as the others around her stood and pulled on their coats, preparing to leave.
"Liv…" Casey leaned over and gently tugged Olivia onto her feet. "Come on, sweetie."
Olivia glanced around, almost in a daze, before realizing the service was over. Still feeling rather numb, she allowed Munch to help her slip her jacket back on. She tucked the handkerchief that Father Andrew had given her earlier into her pocket. She turned and stumbled slightly as she started toward the door.
Cragen quickly reached out to steady her. "You ok?" he asked the concern evident in his voice.
"Yeah…" she closed her eyes briefly before beginning to walk again. "Just a little dizzy."
"How dizzy?" he frowned, not liking the sound of her voice.
"Really dizzy…" she admitted with a sigh.
"You need to let Mel check you over when we get you back home," Casey suggested.
Olivia nodded but didn't say anything. Half way up the aisle, she stopped abruptly, one hand flying to her stomach as her face scrunched up in pain.
"Liv?" Casey asked in concern, turning to look at her friend. "What is it?"
"Cr… Cramp…" she panted as she gripped the arm of a nearby pew with her free hand.
"Mel," Casey called anxiously as she rested a hand in the small of Olivia's back, trying to steady her.
Standing at the front of the church, talking to a couple of police officers who had attended the funeral, Melinda turned just in time to see Fin quickly lunge forward and catch Olivia as she lost consciousness.
"Melinda!" Casey and Munch both yelled for help as Fin gently lowered Olivia to the floor and laid her down.
A/N 2: Uh oh! What now? Is Olivia ok? Is her baby ok? How much more can Olivia handle before she breaks?
Should I continue? I'd love to know what you guys think! Review, please?