Brenda Hampton owns all of secret life characters

And I don't want the world to see me

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

Goo Goo Dolls

Amy's PoV

The icy rain kissed my fair skin, as the bitter wind caused me to shiver. Grace invited me over for a girl's night, but if I would've known, it was going to be such a cold night I never would've agreed to it. Leaving my warm house may have been the last thing on my mind. Obviously, Grace did not know how much I was suffering out here because she was taking her precious time coming to the door. I'd been standing here for at least five minutes. Someone had to be here. Knocking once again, I finally heard footsteps coming my way from the other side of the door. Thank Jesus, I thought as the door gently came open.

I'd been expecting Grace to answer the door, but this definitely wasn't her. Ricky smirked at me and stepped aside to let me in. Avoiding his eyes, I focused on the family photos on the walls surrounding me. I'd been lying to Grace, as well as a few others, about not liking him because honestly I did. The night after the party, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

"Why don't you have a seat in the living room? Grace is going to be a little late getting home, she got… caught up doing… stuff," Ricky said hesitantly. Nodding my head, I began my trek into the large, open living area. Slowly I scanned the room looking at all the intricate designs and décor. Clearly, someone in this house had perfect taste. I eased over to the creamy white couch and plopped down. I hadn't noticed that Ricky was standing so closely behind me.

"So… did Grace say anything other than she would be late?" I didn't look at him as I spoke. It was difficult to keep my eyes focused on the beautiful living room. I just wanted to be granted the opportunity to gape at him all night.

"Nope," he said quickly. There was a hint of mischief in his voice. "You want something to eat or drink?"

"Do you have something warm I could drink, like coffee or hot chocolate, I feel like I'm about to freeze to death," I said with a small chuckle.

"Yeah, I think I can get you something warm," His receding footsteps sounded off in my ear. Involuntarily, a sigh left my lips. Was it really that much pressure to be in a room with him? Get over yourself Amy, I thought to myself while rolling my eyes.

True, I wasn't into him before. Maybe it was the fact that he was somewhat forbidden and off limits that made me crave him. He was the enemy's boyfriend and knowing that getting with him would somehow cause her damage down the line made me feel good. That had to be the only reason I wanted him.

You are such a liar, I thought unbelievingly. Once again, I sighed, only this time in defeat. There was no reason to fight my heart on this one.

Traitor, I thought to myself hoping my feelings would get the message and relay them to my heart.

"Here you go," Ricky said snapping me out of my reverie. I took the mug from his hands not realizing how hot it might have been. Nearly dropping the mug and all its contents on the floor, I placed it on the end table beside me. I heard Ricky snicker from the left side of my body. Looking over, I saw him sitting beside me.

"It's not funny," I tried holding back a smile.

"Yeah actually it was. Did it ever occur to you to grab the handle and not the mug?" He was smirking menacingly.

"So where is Grace anyway?" I asked curiously. It wasn't that I minded Ricky's company, I didn't. This, though, was supposed to be a night for just Grace and me. It was somewhat rude for her not to be here when I arrived.

"She's with Adrian, who I'm sure, is holding her up on purpose," He said annoyingly.

"Of course," I said rolling my eyes. "I don't understand what you see in her anyway, she such a bitch," Tensing up, he glared at me. Well, it was the truth and I wasn't going to apologize for it. Surely, he had to know that Adrian was no Susie Carmichael, but definitely Angelica Pickles.

"Honestly, you both are bitchy. Shall we take a trip back to the party a couple weeks ago? You did slap her," He said defending Adrian. I'm sure that will get him brownie points later on. Adrian had lied to everyone saying I slapped her, some believed her, and some didn't.

"Okay I did not slap her, it was an accident. She just happened to be standing there when a ladle shocked me and I threw my hand back. If she wasn't so damn close to me my hand wouldn't have connected with her face," I said evenly. The story sounded a little farfetched, but it was the truth. What reason would I have to slap her? Yes, I didn't like her, but I would never purposefully start anything with her.

"And everything that happened afterwards?"

"She provoked me. I warned her, but she kept on. You don't understand Ricky, when I'm mad, things happen without me being fully aware that they're happening," No one would ever understand that. It was the consequence of being a victim of anger issues.

"Do you know how crazy you sound?" Ricky said with a light smile on his lips. He was laughing at me. It always sounds crazy to the people that don't have the problem you have.

"Fine, maybe you'll find out someday, but honestly, I hope you don't. What you saw that night at the party was only a small piece of it. I've worked hard on trying to suppress it for many years, but nothing stops it," I'd never opened up like this to anyone before. Usually, I'm embarrassed about it and I fear people will judge me. Ricky though, he seemed unfazed.

"Why don't you just go to therapy or something? There has to be a reason behind it," I chuckled coldly.

"Trust me, I've been to therapy. It seems like I've had a thousand therapist and no one is able to help me. The last one I went to, he was good. He gave me a few tips to… calm it when necessary, which seems like all the time," I sighed.

"So do you lash out at people all the time? Or is it just Adrian?" And we were still talking about her because…

"Before all the therapy and stuff, I used to lash out everyday every chance I could. Now though, I try to avoid people or situations that would upset me. A lot of the time, when I'm around people I'm not too familiar with, I stay quiet. I hate it, but if I don't want to find myself in trouble, it has to happen. Adrian, stirs up angry feelings inside of me, after the altercation, it's like every time I see her, I want to punch her in the face or do something that will hurt her deeply," It was a relief to get all of this off my chest. Ricky listened and nodded. Sure, I was telling him all of this, but I would never tell him about all my other problems, all the baggage that was too heavy for even God to carry.

Ricky's PoV

I would never tell Amy that Grace wasn't going to be here tonight. Grace wasn't one who'd invited her to our house, I was. Two nights ago, I'd stolen Grace's phone and text Amy to invite her to a "girl's night." I needed to talk to her, needed to know this girl. It was weird that I was so interested in her, knowing that it was forbidden for me to be with her. There were two reasons in fact, one reason, I had a girlfriend who obviously hated Amy's guts and the second reason, she's a close friend of Grace. Being with her now though, listening to the sound of her beautiful voice, I was willing to look over Adrian and Grace. True, I always say I'm not in love with Adrian, but deep down I am. Adrian has been with me through everything, she knows my lifestyle and she still chooses to love me. Amy, well, I didn't even know her last name and who knows how she would react if she found out that I was a future mafia boss. I'm surprised no one has told her yet.

I watched her soft lips as they moved back and forth signifying her speaking to me. She was pouring out her feelings to me and we barely knew one another. I don't know what made her think she could tell me all this or that I would care. Somehow, though, I did find myself caring. Amy had an anger issue and I knew there had to be a reason for it. Someone had probably done something horrible to her.

I'll kill whoever it was, I found myself thinking. It was a thought that came from the pit of my stomach.

We'd been talking for at least two hours and once, I thought I saw her about to cry. Quickly though, she turned her head away from me.

"Anyway, my life is just a big mess," She said finishing up. She'd told me about her dad being murdered and I felt something catch in my gut. I put it off as nothing because I'm sure it was.

"Yeah, but there's a bright side to your life that some people don't have," I said looking into her eyes. There was something that I saw sitting beautifully on top of her soul.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" She said with unbelief. Humor stood exposed on her face.

"You have people in your life that love you Amy," The humor that was on her face was replaced with sadness. This time a tear actually escaped her eye and I was only a little uncomfortable. I didn't know whether I should comfort her or let her handle it herself. Then, I found myself doing something I probably shouldn't have. I used my thumb to wipe the tear that was beginning to roll down her cheek. It was as though my hand was fire, she turned her head to the side in a way that my hand was no longer on her face.

"I know, but they shouldn't, especially after everything I've put them through. My mom, she used to become so stressed because she was always worried about me. Once, she even got a stomach ulcer and my sister…" She never finished. Amy had seemed so innocent, but now, I wasn't so sure anymore. She'd put up a façade so people wouldn't see the real her. I understood why. She was trying to keep from hurting others.

"I'm sure it's a ph-"

"It is not a phase Ricky. I am so sick of people telling me it's a phase because it's not. I've been like this for years, probably since I was eight-years-old and yes it seems impossible that I could be such an angry child, but I was," Amy had stopped crying. She looked back at me and I could tell she was desperate. I didn't know that this type of stuff had such an effect on people. She'd used the word bipolar a few times during our talk, but I didn't think that was the case.

It was quiet between us for a while. The silence wasn't awkward; it was needed. I knew that she was trying to pull herself back together. She pulled her legs up to her chest and laid her head on her knees. We stared at one another for a while and then, once again, she turned away from me.

At that moment, I wished that I'd met her before I even knew who Adrian was. Have I been planning to spend my life with the wrong person?

Okay people; tell me how you like it in reviews. It took me a while to figure out how I wanted to start this off, but when I finally did, everything just started flowing together. If anyone was wondering, I got the title of this chapter from the Goo Goo dolls song entitled Iris. I thought it fit this chapter well. So please, as I said before, review!