It took Mordin five minutes to get from the crew deck up to the captain's quarters but within that time, he had computed six different program on his scanner to enhance the efficiency of the device. He was very proud of his accomplishment when he went out of the elevator and opened Shepard quarter's door.

"Shepard," he said without looking up from his scanner. "Need to talk..."

And walked right into Thane Krios who had to brace himself from the scientist by spreading his hands out to stop Mordin from ramming his horn into him.

"Ah," Mordin said, though not apologetically. "Did not see you there. Dropped from vent? Stealth mode? Shepard knows you in her room?"

Mordin looked up and about all over the ceiling for Thane's entry point.

"Yes, Mordin," Shepard said, walking up the steps. "Thane came up for a chat. We're done anyway. He was on his way down when you came in. Looking for me?"

"Siha...," Thane said.

"Siha!" Mordin interjected. "Warrior angel. Drell mythology. The goddess Arashu? Fierce in wrath. Read that from extranet. Predatory apparently. Not unlike human mythological goddesses."

"Well, so much for you trying to play the mystery card on that one, Thane," Shepard smiled. "Now I totally know what it means, thanks to Mordin."

"Artemis," Mordin continued as if he did not hear her. "The Greek goddess of hunt, nature and birth. Most popular deity in Human Greek goddess list. Referring to Shepard? Or was wrong? Not referencing? Did I step on toe? Not "Siha" but "Yeeeeee...ahhhhh!"? As in outcry of pain when stepped on? Understand Drell's feet bones are soft. Apologies if stepped on it. Forgot strength sometimes. Walk too fast. Will take a look at it now. Please take off shoes."

"I'm fine, doctor," Thane said.

"Ridiculous! Would jeopardize mission if stumped toe gets infected. Limping while firing gun may accidentally hit other team members. Half of all friendly fire happened directly related to imbalanced limbs. Please take off shoe. If need be, apply medicine. Have ointment specially for webbed feet. Brought many different ointments on board."

"You have webbed feet, Thane?" Shepard asked, astonished.

"Drell. Webbed feet and hands. Wear gloves to protect from exposure. A contradictory evolutional marvel. Survive best in arid environment yet have moist hands and feet."

"You have wet, webbed feet and hands?" Shepard asked. That was a bit of a tongue twister.

"Moist, not wet," Mordin corrected. "Adhesive. Moist. Webbed."

"Yes," Thane said. "I should return to my quarters. You did not stump on my toes, Doctor Solus. I shall now leave you two."

Thane bowed and walked out of the room. Mordin fully turned his body, not just his head, to watch the Drell leave and the door shut behind him before doing a full body turn back to face the Commander.

"His hands and feet are sticky, wet and webbed?" Shepard asked Mordin.

"Yes. Marvel. Secrete sap like substance from pores to keep hands and feet damply adhesive. Allow for better grip. Extremely effective when engaging in stealth missions and climbing ladders. Many Drells are excellent plumbers and elevator repair engineers, if not assassins."

"Thanks a lot, Mordin," Shepard said. "You just ruined all the romantic fantasies about how totally sexy and smooth Thane was."

"Krios. Definitely smooth. Skin like human baby. Attracted to him? Suggest no licking. May cause hallucination. Would be terrible. Commander Shepard hallucinating. Using CIC as a latrine."

"Mordin, are you trying to be funny? It's not making me laugh if you are."

"Yes," Mordin said. "Making jokes. Way to destress team mates on board. So far, not successful. Justica Samara aloof when heard joke. Pushed out of med bay by Doctor Chakwas. She was clearly offended. Officer Vakarian faked laughing. Then tried hard to chase me out. You, not laughing. Not very successful. Will research further. Never been good at jokes. Did not have time to perfect it. No one worth joking with either until now. Maybe will perfect it before suicide mission."

"Garrus did not successfully chase you out, huh? If you don't have anything else, I'll successfully chase YOU out for ruining my fantasy, Mordin."

"Ah, yes," Mordin said. "Came to inform. Plot to make me scan and disrupt digestive system of Agent Taylor and Yeoman Chambers, unsuccessful. Should have asked before executing plan. Would have helped plant virus instead under skin. When expose to hot water, give hive-like rashes. Much easier."

"So, you saying it didn't work?"

"Wouldn't work," Mordin shook his head. "Impulsive and childish plot. Only Officer Garrus Vakarian might have went along. Has great admiration toward you. Anyone else? As immature and childish as plot."

"Oh, come on, Mordin. It was just for fun. And Garrus only agreed to it because I threatened to put him into a pink armor."

"Pink armor?" Mordin thought for a bit. "Vakarian's skin would suit pink. Aesthetically pleasing combination."

"You should tell him that," Shepard said. "He refused to believe me."

The Commander watched Mordin for a while. Then, she folded her arms and gestured with her brows to her favorite Salarian scientist. Her way of saying "what else?". Mordin continued,

"Do you know, Drell snore? Respiratory and lungs. Adaptability issue. Very loud. If attached, suggest do not share bed."

"Mordin," Shepard said quietly. "Are you trying to tell me something about Garrus and Thane? It sounded like you are trying to hard sell Garrus to me while discouraging me from liking Thane."

"Outrageous!" Mordin answered. "Making conversation. Nothing more."

"I see, so then, tell me more of what you know, since you are 'making conversation," Shepard quoted him.

"Ah, good to hear you have interest in subject. Getting to know other races first step to better crew relationship."

"Ah huh..."

"Turians. Extremely loyal. One life partner. If found, does not just discard partner for another. Contrary to popular belief, extremely passionate while engaging in intercourse."

"Ah huh..."

"Humans, known to be frickle minded in finding reproductive partner. Changing marriage partner like changing lab coat. Many unfaithful. Humans brought the term "divorce" to other races. Divorce unheard of until humans enter into the Citadel. Possibility of finding a Geth willing to help our course higher than human males on board remaining faithful for more than a few months... Except Flight Lieutenant Moreau, Doctor Chakwas, Engineer Kenneth Donnelly and Engineer Gabriella Daniels... Maybe many others too... See you might be a faithful Human too... Should take my words back. Should do more research."

"Ah huh..."

"But Yeoman Chambers. Do not choose her as life partner. Asked to dance on lab counter. Suggested strip teasing. Told her am too old to be strip teasing on counter top. Did not understand," Mordin pointed to his missing horn. "Explained missing horn deemed as undesirable as a stripper. Age, too, suggest sagginess in certain areas. best remained clothed and not dancing. Totally oblivious still. Unteachable. Shocking to suggest old man like me to strip tease for her. Not suitable as partner. Fling maybe?"

Shepard pressed down on her lips, trying very hard not to laugh but the image of Mordin dancing and stripping on counter tops was just a little too much to handle. Her lips quivered and shook as she bit down harder.

Finally, she just let go and laughed very hard.

"I'm sorry, Mordin," Shepard said after a while and between breaths. "But you can't put images like that in people's mind and expect straight faces. And I think you got it the wrong way, Kelly Chambers most likely said she wanted to dance for you."

"A serious observation. Do not understand where humor lies. But happy am funny finally. Appreciate respond, no matter how inappropriately timed."

"Anyway," Shepard was still laughing softly. "I think your hard selling that certain Turian to me by putting his competitions down like they were some inferior brands of toothpastes, is backfiring a little."

"Again do not understand reference. But no hard selling. Making conversation and telling result of observation."

"Are you giving me advise on whom to pick and telling me I should pick Garrus?"

"Advise? No. Observations only."

"So," Shepard said. "You observed that Garrus is my best choice?"

"Absolutely."

"Not Thane then?"

"Terminally ill Drell with suicidal tendencies? Gives hallunications when in oral contact? Has wet webbed hands and feet? Snores?"

"Fine," Shepard said. "You've made your point as clear as water. So, Garrus, huh?"

"Not suggesting. Choose whomever you like. Can perform examinations afterward. Some may require probes. Advice. More unpleasant conditions apply to others than with Vakarian."

"Fine. Fine. I'll go to you and listen to more of your advices on whomever I ended up choosing, okay? So what else do you want to speak to me about?"

"Good to know. Will have all materials ready. Came also to ask about Tuchanka. Noticed we are heading that way?"

"Yes," Shepard said. "Wrex contacted me to go meet with him. Says he came in possession of some new weapons that might be helpful when we storm the Collector Base. We're swinging by to pick him up. We're not landing. We'll just be in orbit. He's bringing the samples. He has never been on the new Normandy. Be nice to have him visit."

"Ah, I see," Mordin said. "If possible, would like to coordinate with EDI to send down probes on outskirts of cities to collect water and soil samples. Would come in handy for future study."

"I will assist in any manner I can, Doctor Solus," EDI's disembodied voice came over the comm. "I would, however, suggest notifying Tuchanka clan authorities before engaging in any activities to avoid a diplomatic incident."

"I'll inform Wrex about it right after this so he knows," Shepard said. "Shouldn't be a problem. EDI, just get ready when I tell you to go ahead. But Mordin, don't fool around probing near the female camps. You heard what they say about Krogan females being heavily guarded and protected."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Mordin straightened his body. "Would never fool around with female Krogans."

"Sometimes, Mordin," Shepard shook her head. "I wonder if you really don't get it or just pretend not to get it."

"Either way," Mordin smiled. "Results must serve the correct purposes. And now shall go continue work."

Mordin turned to leave and was out the door, getting ready to work on his scanner again on the way down, when Shepard stopped him and caught up with him at the elevator.

"Mordin," Shepard called out.

"Yes?"

"Did Garrus say anything to you or asked you to help put in a good word for him?"

"No. Turians, not the most romantic specie. Couple with awkwardness, extremely unlikely. Vakarian, not sly enough to ask for help. Have forwarded materials to aid him. Human dating rituals and how to initiate sex vids, mostly. Also forwarded sexuality vids, both clinical and mainstream. Apparently, needs that too. Seemed too anxious to self stimulate. Refuted my concern when brought up. Very sensitive regarding that. Suggest not ask him about it. Play along with his initiations. Lessen awkwardness. Ease tension. Calm his nerves. Never seen full grown male behave that way with females. Must be deep attraction. The deeper the attraction, the deeper the fear of rejection. Basic Psychology. Took a course on it when young. One day, set professor's suit on fire by accident. Was rushing to class holding experiment. Tripped and fell. Was in detention for three weeks. Still obtained excellent results after. Very memorable class."

"Really?" Shepard smirked. "Should have doubled you as the Yeoman if I knew that earlier. Anyway, why don't I just go to him and ask him to jump in bed with me right now? I'm not the shy kind."

"Human saying. Go with the flow. Let him start the flow. Go with it. Won't know what hit him."

"You're suggesting to turn what he says and use that to initiate something?"

"Not sug...," Mordin corrected Shepard but was interrupted.

"I know, I know," Shepard said. "Not suggesting. Just an observation."

"So Garrus really likes me, huh?" Shepard asked, biting her lower lip.

"For some time. Intentions and actions, very clear with Officer Vakarian. Although if not interested, could suggest some Krogan females for him. Scars of that dimension consider extremely attractive to Krogan females."

The elevator door opened and Mordin stepped into it, giving Shepard a final nod and immediately went on to fiddling with his scanner.

"No Krogan female is taking my Turian away," he heard Shepard said quietly as the door closed. Mordin smiled to himself but did not look up from what he was doing until he arrived on the floor to his lab, still smiling.