The team was divided into two groups to do reconnaissance. Rather than running around banging on doors, Shepard wanted to spend some time looking for the person in question who had been running around the armory cloaked while not alerting the general population of the ship. Tali was a little disappointed no one believed it was a ghost but she was then again all excited when the team decided to catch who was responsible. Kasumi started calling her an adventure whore, at which Tali immediately slapped her hard on the shoulder. But then the two girls started giggling and laughing like high school girls would, which sent Garrus into a fit of head shaking.
With her intention cleared, Shepard divided the team up, ignoring the giggling duo. She and Garrus would take the top two decks which included Shepard's own quarters, the C.I.C, Mordin's lab and Jacob's armory. Samara, Kasumi and Tali would take the lower two decks where the crew deck, kitchen, forward battery as well and engineering were located. They had decided that once those few decks were secured, they would meet and cover the shutter and cargo bay because that area was simply too big and the entire group would do better covering it together.
Kasumi seemed to have then taken the initiative to be the leader of the first group. Tali and Samara dutifully followed her and took the elevator down to engineering to start from there. Although not giggling, Samara seemed to be enjoying herself watching the two younger ladies joking and having fun.
"Legion and I can write a program to enhance the reading of heat signatures on the ship," EDI said. "This can facilitate your search."
"Do it," Shepard ordered after the girls were gone. "But I want Legion with me just in case."
"This mobile unit is capable of computation while on the move," Legion explained. "We will work with EDI while assisting Shepard-Commander and Garrus-Vakarian."
"Do I have to come along?" Garrus asked. "I'm not done calibrating."
Garrus just didn't want to be involved in such childish activities. And Shepard knew it.
"Oh you're coming along all right," Shepard said. "You're stuck in that room all day and night except for missions. I don't even see you often. Take this as a date."
"This? Chasing shadows? A date?" Garrus laughed. "And you see me a lot, Shepard."
"No, not enough. And frankly, this beats having a girl needing to keep coming to you and asking for your time," Shepard said. "Makes me feel like you are always playing hard to get."
"That's not true, Shepard," Garrus said. "But me coming to you would mean either I horde you in the C.I.C, in which case a lot of people will see us flirting, or chase you around the ship while you do your rounds and play counselor, or keep budging into you quarters at all hours while you have an open door policy. What would people think?
"You can always come to my quarters after hours," Shepard said seductively.
"I do always come to your quarters after hours," Garrus said. "We have dinner there almost every night since I came on board."
"Well, you don't ever stay long enough," Shepard complained.
"If I do," Garrus explained. "There won't be any last shot to savor."
"I won't complain," Shepard said.
"I won't either," Garrus said. "But you're special, and so I want everything right for it."
"I'm special, huh?" Shepard smiled, stepping closer.
"You've no idea," Garrus smiled too, pulling her closer for a hug.
"Sounds to me like we are doing more than just relieving tension together if it's so special that we are waiting," Shepard whispered.
"The great Commander Shepard is worth way too much to be seen as something just for relieving tension," Garrus said. "You don't think that is so?"
"Ok, you make sense there," Shepard said, hugging Garrus' waist with one hand and lightly stroking his bandaged mandible with the other. Even with his armor between them, Shepard knew all the right places to touch him. Garrus involuntary started purring a little under his breath.
"But you're still not getting away from this date," Shepard said.
"So if this is a date, what does that make Legion?" Garrus asked, smiling and pointing to the Geth.
"A pumpkin carriage?" Shepard said.
The two amused themselves sniggering and rocking slightly back and forth while still locked in a hug. Garrus was purring and Shepard was smiling widely.
"A chaperone," Legion's sudden voice brought them back to the present. They both looked at him. "An adult human escort of older age who accompanied or supervise young unmarried adult human male and female out on social occasions to prevent inappropriate social and sexual interaction. Mostly popular during the late seventeen hundreds in Western parts of the Earth. Please step away and refrain from clinging and clasping and floundering..."
"You wish," Garrus and Shepard interrupted Legion at the same time but let go of each other. Shepard laughed while Garrus walked toward the elevator and pressed the up button, himself chuckling.
"Come on, you pumpkin chaperone," Shepard pulled Legion along. "Let's go find us a ghost. And no violence. I bet my own ship if there are ghosts in here, its one of our own running around cloaked."
Legion flapped his head panels gladdeningly.
EDI and Legion's heat sensor worked only to a certain degree. It showed the heat signature of living beings on the ship but not who it could be. And because the two A.I.s were the ones that programmed it, only the two could read it. EDI took upon herself to guide the three ladies in engineering while Legion gave Garrus and Shepard his read outs.
"We are reading two heat signatures on this deck," Legion said when Shepard asked for a read out.
"There are two of them here?" Shepard suddenly saw the need to whisper. "I thought there were only one ghost running around."
"Two heat signatures are recorded at the moment," Legion said.
Garrus sighed. The elevator door was still opened. He walked back into it and asked, "Now, how many heat signatures do you register on the deck?"
"We register one heat signature on the deck and one in the elevator," Legion said.
Garrus shrugged and looked extremely self gratified when Shepard gave him a dirty look.
"Well, I could have gotten that too, given a few more seconds," Shepard said.
"Sure you would," Garrus said. "Since you're not so engrossed in hunting for ghosts."
Shepard narrowed her eyes but ignored Garrus. Instead she said, "Legion, next time tell us the data without putting the two of us in, ok?"
"We understand," Legion said. "We do not detect any heat signature aside of the two from Shepard-Commander and Garrus-Vakarian."
"Good boy," Shepard said. "Since my quarters is cleared, I'd say we go snoop around the C.I.C now."
"Why don't we just go straight to the armory?" Garrus asked, still standing in the elevator. "Since that was where the 'sighting' was."
"Let's do that," Shepard said and pushed Garrus farther back into the the elevator. "Out of my way, Vakarian." And she pushed the button.
"You're a little tyrant today," Garrus said.
"You just played smartass with me," Shepard said, shaking her finger. "That was for it."
Shepard commed Tali in the elevator as they were headed down.
"How is it going on your end, Tali," she asked. "My quarters is cleared. Heading to the armory now."
"No paranormal activity reported in Grunt or Zaeed's rooms," Tali reported in a hush but crisp tone. "We are approaching Jack's hideout. It looks dark down there. The stairs are lighted but the place below is both dim and eerie. We are ready for anything that may sneak up on us and attack us when we least suspect it. We regret not having brought an EMF scanner. Chances of detecting paranormal activity are now lowered."
Garrus rolled his eyes while Shepard shook her head. Legion's head panels were flapping inquisitively.
"The team has descended to Jack's accommodation," Tali continued. "The place is cold. Could this particular spot, being so cold, be the so called "cold spot" in a paranormal activity? No strange noises such as thumping were heard yet. Will we see moving objects levitating here? Or phantom lights ..."
"What the fuck are you three doing here," from the comm, Shepard heard Jack said.
"Talk later," Tali said chirpingly and switched the comm off.
"And she was getting to the fun part," Garrus said. "They just met the paranormal activity named Jack."
"Next time I comm them," Shepard said. "Remind me to comm a more rational one like Samara."
"Consider that done," Garrus nodded.
No one was in the armory. But something was not right. Garrus could feel it. Shepard could feel it.
"Shepard-Commander, Garrus-Vakarian, something is not right," even Legion could feel it.
The room was inexplicably cold.
"I'm getting goosebumps," Shepard said. "The hair on the back of my neck just stood up for no discernible reason."
"We are being watched," Legion said matter-of-factly.
"Maybe it is haunted," Shepard said.
"Haunted, my ass," Garrus said.
"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. Arthur Conan Doyle. Profession, Writer. Nationality, British. Born, May twenty second, eighteen fifity-nine. Died: July seventh, nineteen thirty," Legion quoted.
"What is the truth," Garrus said. "Is that the air condition is turned way too low. Improbable, indeed. Idiots."
He went to the corner where the air condition reading device was and tapped on it.
"EDI," Garrus said. "Can you regulate the room temperature to normal, please."
"I will do it immediate...," before EDI could finish, the three of them heard a muffled sound that sounded like a "no".
All three, including Legion, jumped. Although instead of actual jumping, Legion's head panels simply opened wide. He was as shocked as the two sentient beings he was working with. Totally and absolutely Geth shocked.
Something moved in Shepard's peripheral vision. Instinct horned by years of military training and perfected by the countless times of living dangerous, cut-throat lives that borderlined on insanity when it came to the odds of survival, took over. The killing machine that was Shepard took over the lazing around and looking for an adventure Shepard. A turn and a front kick from the right leg threw whatever was moving backward. Three round-house kicks followed instantly after, all targeting the weakest part of most races, the shins. It was at the second kick that Shepard saw her intended victim. A figure under a white sheet.
What the hell, Shepard thought. Who would be so dumb as to play Casper the friendly ghost right now.
The figure was wavering and slipping toward her.
"Shepard!" Garrus shouted.
Before she could stop herself, she had given it an overhand jab followed by a jump and a hook knee that struck the head. The figure fell backward as its head impacted from her knee.
"Stop!" Garrus' words came a second too late.
"Ops," Shepard said as she ran forward toward the figure.
"I thought you said no violence!" Garrus was moving at incredible speed toward the figure too.
"Move aside," Mordin's voice came out of nowhere. "Move aside."
"What the fuck, Mordin!" Garrus shouted. "You were the one?"
Mordin uncloaked himself and pulled the sheets off the figure.
"Yes," he said. "Created new cloaking device. An experiment. Trying it out. Teaching Grunt. Was supposed to cloak and find each other. Jacob here thought ghost at first. Explained myself. Thought was funny. Lowered room temperature, got sheets from laundry room. Fooling around. Was out of room for a while. Came back to check and see if Grunt had walked in. Couldn't find him. Saw this. Who attacked Jacob?"
"Ops," Shepard said again.
"Unconscious. Sustain concussion when fell, maybe," Mordin said. "Take him to science lab. Will check on him there. If need be, send to med bay."
Garrus and Legion helped Mordin lifted the unconscious Jacob. Shepard pulled Mordin back when he tried to follow.
"This was your fault," Shepard said. "What the hell were you doing with cloaking devices?"
"Grunt wanted to learn. How to cloak. How to make cloak. Taught him. Testing it. Supposed to find each other. Time limit, one hour a day. Yesterday, found him. Today not found yet."
Mordin turned and walked off not hearing Shepard cursing and swearing under her breath while she followed him to the lab.
"EDI," Shepard said, entering Mordin's lab after she had exhausted her vocabulary of curse words. "Tell Samara and the rest they are looking for Grunt, cloaked."
"Samara has already caught him in engineering," EDI said. "Patching you through now."
Because Mordin had taken over checking up on the unconscious Jacob and Legion was standing next to him assisting, Garrus came back to stand next to Shepard just before EDI patched her over to Samara and the rest of the team.
"How did they catch him?" he asked.
"Samara, Kasumi and Tali caught Grunt with a net," EDI said.
"EDI's right," Kasumi said. "We caught a big Krogan fish today."
"Let me go!" Grunt's voice came over the comm. They could hear him huffing and puffing and cursing. "I am pure Krogan! I demand a rematch!"
"What? Where did you three get a net?" Shepard asked.
"A Justica travels alone and so, needs to be prepared for all situations," Samara said over the comm. "A net is one of the preparation."
"How the hell do you keep a fish net in that suit?" Shepard asked.
"We have ways," Samara said.
"A Justica wraps a retractable netting around her waist and has the lining and controls for the retraction extend to her inner thighs as a form of corset," Legion explained. "The netting can extend to six meters by four meters wide, which could be used for fishing as well."
"She keeps a what in her where?" Garrus asked.
No doubt, Grunt and Mordin were interrogated in Shepard's quarters for using the cloaks. Only then did they know a third party was involved and still cloaked somewhere on the ship.
Mordin blinked and shook his head. He too, had no idea.
"Impressive. Krogan smart enough to replicate my cloak design," was all he said.
"I am pure Krogan," Grunt said. "I might act like a brut but that doesn't mean I don't have brains."
Grunt refused to give up the third party involved in their little cloaking game. Scolding did not work. Coxing did not work either. Not even tempting him with chocolate chip and vanilla ice cream worked. Finally, Shepard got tired and showed him who really was the boss,
"You're grounded!" she jumped up and shouted. "No Collector base for you!"
"You can't do that!" Grunt shouted back.
"Watch me, Krogan!" Shepard shouted right back.
"It's your hamster," Grunt finally said. "I made a small cloaking device for him. Stripped it on. He was somewhere in Tali's room and I was going to get him when I was caught by the Justica."
"What the fuck, Grunt! Why did you cloak my hamster!" Shepard whacked the Krogan with the net she was holding. This prompted Samara to gently take the net off Shepard's hands.
"He needed playtime and a break from always being in the cage," Grunt explained.
"I don't even know what to say," Garrus shook his head.
Grunt looked down in his hands and played with his fingers. If Krogan could pout, he would be pouting now.
"We need to find my hamster," Shepard was clearly upset. "After that, I'm so gonna kick both your asses."
"Didn't cloak hamster," Mordin said. "Experiment was legitimate."
In the dead of the night when most of the day crew were in dreamland and where the med bay was empty except the now sedated Jacob Taylor, who was recovering from a cracked rib and shin as well as a slight concussion due to the trauma sustained when he was attacked by Commander Shepard, a cloaked figure entered. With gloved hands, the figure uncapped a tube of white paste. Slowly, steadily, and quietly, the cloaked figure applied some cream over Jacob Taylor's face, recapped the tube, and as quickly and quietly as it had came in, it left.
"So, how are our three resistant "ghosts"?" Garrus asked when Shepard came into the main battery the next afternoon.
"One is totally back in its cage, one is totally grounded until when we hit the Collector base and the last one is totally unrepentant," Shepard said as she squeezed herself between him and the console. Garrus placed one talon across her waist while he continued to punch in some new sequence on the console.
"That last one fits Mordin to a T," Garrus laughed. "Guess what too, Shepard. I just visited Jacob at the med bay. Doctor Chakwas was furious and Jacob was beyond consoling. You have nothing to do with that, did you?"
"Oh wow," Shepard said. "What happened?"
"Apparently, someone sneaked into the med bay yesterday night, cloaked," Garrus said. "That same person totally shaved off Jacob's brows. And when the good doctor went into her med bay this morning, she got a big surprised alright. She was cursing and swearing when I went in just now."
"Oh wow," Shepard said.
"You know, Shepard," Garrus said. "By now you should be jumping around gunning to find out who was responsible for the prank."
"Really?" Shepard asked.
"Really," Garrus answered.
"What're you saying than, Vakarian?" even though her back was to him, Garrus knew she was smiling.
"I'm saying, I doubt it was Mordin who did it. Your hamster is way too small and too innocent to do such evil things. And I bet its tiny cloaking device is now in your hands. I know Grunt's cloaking device has already been confiscated now that he is grounded."
"You saying it was me?" Shepard gasped.
"I'd say it was you," Garrus said. "No use covering it up from me, Shepard"
"I don't cover up," Shepard said, still smiling. "But if I did shaved his brows, there must have been a very good reason for why I would want to do it."
"If you did shave off his brows," Garrus said. "I'd say you are evil, but not till I know why."
"How about all those times he made me feel like a piece of cheap ass?" Shepard said, though not angrily. "Then how about finding out that what he was making me feel was not just my own unwarranted feelings or misjudgment? That he really thought I was "an inferior" catch?"
"He said that?" Garrus frowned. His breathing increased.
"He didn't exactly said that," Shepard said. "And it wasn't a shave. I used hair removal cream. So don't play detective on me by changing the facts and waiting for me to slip my tongue."
"Aren't you the clever girl," Garrus smiled. "So tell me, what did Jacob do that made you do such sneaky things?"
"He said Miranda deserved a better man than he, and then turned around and gave me all sorts of mixed signals. Everything I said, he took it as if I was coming on to him. Then when I said nothing, he started acting like I had hurt his feelings by coming on to him and leaving him hanging. I think he is a little unstable. He sneaked into my room once and when I asked why he was there, he called me a "prize"."
"Or rather," Shepard continued. "He said it was a heavy risk (sneaking into my room that was, even though I have a fucking open door policy) and that he said, "but the priiizeee...". I wanted to slug him over the head right there but I didn't."
"Why didn't you?" Garrus asked.
"Because I thought he was maybe, you know, a little off? Like his dad? But not that off, you get me?"
"So why did you go and removed his brows?"
"He gave me a last straw a few days back, that was what."
"What did he do?"
"He called you a cutterbone," Shepard said. "Making me feel uncomfortable, that was one thing. Calling you names, no way. He had it coming, Garrus."
"That was evil. A necessary evil, maybe, but still evil."
"No one says Commander Fucking Shepard can't be a sneaky bitch," Shepard said. "Actually, I kind of feel bad now that I've done it. Should I? Feel bad, I mean. It was really a impulse prank. I'd say someday I would shave his brows off to myself lots of times..."
"Remind me to not get on your bad side, Shepard," Garrus shook his head but smiled.
"I am not that bad," Shepard said. "Maybe I should buy him some super dark, waterproof eye brow pencils... Yeah, I'll go ask Miranda where she got her pencils now. Maybe she has a spare I can buy it off her."
"You're almost as much a psychopath as Jack is," Garrus said. "Good that I definitely find you more superior in all other areas. More superior than all other females actually."
"That is why, Garrus Vakarian," Shepard smiled. "You're always my number one choice too. No one else can take my brand of crazy."
"I wouldn't say that," Garrus took his other arm off the console and tightened his hug around Shepard with both arms. "Wrex, Grunt and Mordin have their own brand of crazy. Give Tali a few years and she will act just like you. And then we have Legion."
"Legion?" Shepard asked.
"Legion," Garrus answered. "Stand aside, Conrad Verner, we have a new Shepard Number One Fan and this one can actually shoot... and doesn't need to use the bathroom."