I realised I never did a disclaimer for the last chapter. Oops. Anyway, I don't own Lord of the Rings.
And to all reviewers, thank you, and here are your cybercupcakes as promised! They also come with free ice cream. *Legolas runs in, steals ice cream scoop and runs off* uh, never mind... Yes Legolas has a spoon obsession. And no, I did not kill Thranduil. I have plans for him. Evil plans involving Vogons...
Dear Elrond,
What gives, man? It's been nearly six months since you sent that letter, and my son is yet to make an appearance. I had to hire outside help to get rid of the spiders - a nice human lad named Jack. He was a very efficient worker, although there seemed to have been some mix-up when I first contacted him; apparently he specialises in killing giants, not giant spiders. Cordially,
Thranduil, King of Mirkwood
Dear Thranduil,
Yeah, about that. Around three months after I sent Aragorn and Legolas back to your kingdom, they returned, badly wounded and with quite a tale to tell. Apparently they were first trapped by an AVALANCHE, and when they managed to escape, they were kidnapped by an EVIL ELF who tortured them for information - although I am still not entirely sure what information it was they wanted. When the two of them finally staggered back into Rivendell, Aragorn had caught pneumonia and Legolas had somehow been poisoned by Nasty Men. They are both currently recuperating in the healing ward, and I shall send Legolas back home as soon as he is well.
Cordially,
Elrond Half-Elven, Ruler of all Rivendell
Dear Elrond,
I bring sad news. While your adopted son was here, he volunteered to go help Gandalf find the vile creature Gollum, and is yet to return. On another note, what on arda did you do to my son in Rivendell? Whenever he sees a lute player he has taken to grabbing the lute, hitting the musician over the head with it until it breaks, and then stealing their hairbrush and running off, cackling evilly. I am becoming most concerned.
Cordially,
King Thranduil of Mirkwood the Great
Dear Thranduil,
My foster son has always been rather rash at decision-making. With any luck, he will catch Gollum soon.
The behaviour Legolas is exhibiting with regards to your lute players is probably something he picked up from Aragorn. I have had several complaints about it from Lindir, who is threatening to leave Rivendell and become a pirate.
Cordially,
Elrond the Awesome, Lord of Imladris
Reviewers for this chapter get ... hmmm... cookies!
Gollum: NOOO! Don't take our cookies! That would kill us! KILL US!
Fine. Reviewers get brownies. Happy now?
Gollum: Yes precious, we are.