I don't own LOTR.
Dear Elrond,
Gollum has been successfully captured and brought to Mirkwood. Aragorn and Legolas have just left to return to Rivendell, so assuming they don't run into too much trouble I would expect them to arrive in three months or so.
If Lindir is bent on leaving Rivendell, he would be welcome in Mirkwood. Three of my best lute players have had nervous breakdowns and left the forest in great haste, muttering something about rum.
Cordially,
Thranduil the Awesomer, King of Mirkwood
Dear Thranduil,
Ha ha, 'Awesomer' isn't a word. I win!
A most surprising thing has happened. A month after receiving your last letter, Aragorn and Legolas returned to Rivendell - and they were completely uninjured. I confess I was most shocked by this. Aragorn says that you must be careful to keep Gollum safely locked up as he is a trickster and not to be trusted.
I told Lindir of your proposition, and he thanks you but says he has instead to decided to stay in Rivendell and take up karate.
Cordially,
Elrond, Bearer of Vilya and Lord of Rivendell
Dear Elrond,
Fine. You win this round... for now...
I am glad that Aragorn and Legolas have finally managed to stay out trouble. Whilst in Mirkwood, Aragorn suffered from a poisonous spider bite. I am not entirely sure how this happened, as there are no poisonous spiders in Mirkwood.
Tell Aragorn that he worries too much. Gollum is already showing signs of being a better person - he has developed a love of nature and enjoys taking long walks outside.
Cordially,
Thranduil, tamer of Moose, ruler of Mirkwood
Dear Thranduil,
I passed your message onto Aragorn, and have written down his response almost word for word. He said, "That's what YOU think! But you'll be sorry soon! They called me crazy, but they'll see! They'll all see!" He then ran off, cackling, and hid in Lindir's closet for the rest of the day. I am becoming rather concerned about him.
Legolas seems to be enjoying his stay Rivendell, except for one incident when he and Aragorn were out hunting. Apparently, a pack of Wargs attacked them unawares, and they both sustained rather serious , Legolas is healing well, and will be returning home to you as soon as he can walk again.
If you are still looking to hire a new minstrel, I have included a letter of recommendation for one.
Cordially,
Elrond Half-Elven, Lord of Rivendell
Reviewers get... a hug from Legolas!