I didn't feel like living, or being a vampire, I feel like anything at all. It was hard to smile, to find a single ray of hope in this world. Wendy, my creator, the one vampire who brought me into this world and prepared me for what was going to happen, was gone. I couldn't see her face anymore, hear her voice telling me what to do or what to learn, her touch from her hand on my arm, letting me know that mistakes are okay. Everything about her, is now dead.

Carlisle and the rest of the family came to Sam and I after the fight, burning the remains and hiding the evidence. I was silent the entire time, feeling more like a zombie than a vampire. Sam stayed me until we reached the house, and after reassurance from Esme I was left alone in my room. She told him I needed space, and I did need space. I also needed Wendy, I really needed her.

The days were blurring together, I couldn't really register when was day and when was night. The urge to feed was dimming, I had no desire to go and hunt for blood. Why was she gone? How could she leave me like this?

I heard a knock at the door and I turned my head, seeing Sam poke his head in and walked in quietly. I didn't look at him, still out of it thinking of how Wendy was no more. I then looked down at Wendy's shawl that I was clutching in my hands. It was only thing I had left of her, the only material thing that is.

"Emma, can I talk to you?" He asked me aloud as I sat on the bed, nodding my head without even thinking and he sat down next to me on the bed, looking very cautious and concerned. Sam being there with me made me feel a bit better, since he was there when we killed off the two vampires.

"It hurts me seeing you like this, Emma. Seeing you quiet, alone..." Sam trailed off, trying to figure out what to say after those two words.

"Lifeless?" I suggested, seeing him look at me with shock in his face. It was true, I felt less like a vampire a more like a statue that wasn't breathing. He tried to think of something to say, anything to say to make it positive for me.

"Sam, I killed two vampires, who killed Wendy." I said in a low tone, my voice was on the verge of breaking, "She was the only reason I thought of living in this world."

"But you need to understand, they were after me, not you or Wendy." Sam said in a tone of sadness, and I finally looked over at him to see him looking down at his own hands and almost on the verge of tears, "My creator killed her mate, and I was the one they wanted for revenge. You and Wendy were stuck in the crossfire, so that makes me responsible for her death."

I was silent then, not knowing what to say to him or what to do. What he said was logical, how they were after Sam and his creator and we were caught in the middle. But how could he place the blame on himself? Sam was never a evil person to begin with, so taking the blame didn't seem right.

Gently, I grasped his hand and held it there, seeing him look at our joined hands and I took in a human breath. Breathing in his scent of fallen rain and pine, I looked at him with softness in his eyes.

"You, Sam Chang, are in no way, shape or form, responsible for this." I said to him in a stern tone, seeing him finally look at me with sad eyes.

"But-" He started, but I held up my finger against his lips, silencing him. He was immediately quiet as I breathed in his scent again.

"There is not one bad bone in your body, and I know that you would never want to bring harm onto others purposely. What happened with Wendy, your creator, and the two vampires, it was out of our own hands and I know you know it inside." I explained to him, seeing him keep his stare at me. I sighed, looking back down at the shawl I was holding.

"I just miss her." I replied back to him, seeing him nod his head.

"I know. She was the one who brought you into this world, taught you all you know about being a vampire, and helped you in being the strong woman you are already." Sam said to me, having me see how his grasp on my hand tighten slightly when he spoke. I looked up at him, seeing a small smile on his face to show that he was here for me.

"Do you miss him?" I asked him, and I could tell he knew I meant his creator.

"Everyday." he replied to me with his sheepish smile. I smiled back weakly, still feeling the pain inside of me.

"Will the pain go away?" I asked him, as if I was a child. He placed his other hand on top of mine, his two hands sandwiched my hand.

"I promise you it will. It may be hard now, but the pain will be gone." He reassured me, "I don't think Wendy would want you to be in pain because of her."

"I don't think so either." I replied back to him, looking out at the window in front of us that was showing the forest. It was very hard to believe that the both of us were only going to visit the Cullens, nothing more was going to come out of this. But one small change in the plan, and it left three vampires dead.

I felt a arm going around me, very gently and without any rushed movement. I smiled somehow finding myself leaning back and against Sam who now had his arm around me and hand on my shoulder. We both sat in silence for a moment or two, both very close to each other and just breathing in the calmness that was in the air. I only watched the trees move in the wind outside the house, how they moved in a rhythm.

Sam holding me made me think of my feelings for him, how every time he spoke it sounded like bells in my ears, how his touches felt like velvet and satin morphed together, and how when he moved it was in the way smooth way the ocean. His eyes reminded me of honey, his simple touches gave me electricity, his simple looks gave me warmth and comfort. I couldn't help but look up at him, seeing him smile and looking right back down at me. I saw him lean in slightly, and I knew he was going to kiss me. But I knew I was going to hurt him, my powers would hit him hard and cause more harm.

"I don't want to hurt you." I said to him in a hushed tone, feeling his free hand slide to my neck oh so slowly, almost as if he didn't want to rush it. I felt his skin against mine, making me close my eyes for a moment and realize what I was about to do. I could hurt him, the very last thing I ever wanted to do to Sam. He kept his wide yellow eyes on me as I opened them again at him. I clutched his jacket in my grasp, as if I was going to fall from just his simple look. How could a boy like Sam, a vampire to be specific, make me feel like this?

"I don't care." He said to me in a murmur, leaning as our lips were mere centimeters apart. I could fell his breath on mine as I tried to contain my own breath from going rapid. His fingers were slightly touching my hair, I could feel it. As much as I wanted to kiss him, I knew I was going to hurt him if I did.

But he didn't sense my fear and gently pressed his lips against mine. Everything in my body was on fire, from the tips of my fingers that were digging in his jacket to my toes curling into the carpet beneath us. My thoughts were swept in a second, just the feeling of his lips against mine made me go insane. I never felt this way before, and how come I never did? I loved this feeling, I simply loved it.

My ability was about to kick in, but I had to fight it. I had to protect Sam and not hurt him. I started to mentally shove my ability aside as he kissed me again, making me sigh against his lips and feel his arm around my shoulder slide to my lower waist. My hands, without my own accord of course, went to his neck and touched his warm vampire skin. They went around his neck and I held him tight, trying too hard not to hurt him as I felt his hand on my neck press me more. He was enjoying this as much as I was, much more I think. This feeling of his lips against mine, his hand on my lower back, it drive me up a wall. It was better than blood, much better.

It was harder to concentrate on my ability when he was kissing me like this. It wasn't passionate, nor was it plain. But I would be a liar if I said I wasn't enjoying this, being with Sam and feeling his hold on me as if he was afraid I was going to disappear. I wouldn't want to disappear, not now while I feel his fingers going into me hair and his lips move against mine.

I then felt it, he was trembling against me. I could feel it in his kiss and his hold on me, I was slowly hurting him now. I tried as best as I could and pulled away from him, instantly feeling a loss from not kissing him anymore. I knew I had to do it, not only for his safety but for mine. He was breathing rapidly, as was I as he was still holding me, never letting me go and resting his forehead against me gently.

"I'm sorry," I said in a whisper to him, knowing that if I would of said it louder the mood would of been killed. I knew I pushed it, holding onto him and kissing him longer than I should. Damn me having a ability that was revolved around physical contact. But Sam merely smiled and shook his head.

"Don't be, Emma. That was..." he trailed, and I could tell be was trying to find the right word to use.

"Painful?" I asked in a sheepish tone. He chuckled, having me smile from hearing his laugh. I closed my eyes then, trying to breathe properly once more and not look like a fool in front of him.

"Wonderful." He replied in a soft tone, my eyes opening when he said that and pouring into his. I could tell he was telling the truth, he was never a liar, not to me anyways. For once in my vampire life I was thankful for my ability, the fear of hurting him went right out of the window.

"I just...need to...breathe." he said in a light tone, having me laugh a bit as I felt his hair near my fingertips. I gently rang my fingertips through them in a soothing notion, hearing in take in a breath and I instantly pulled away. I must of sucked more energy out of him from doing that. But as soon as I was going to retrieve my hand back to my side, he grabbed my wrist and I stayed still. His eyes on mine, he looked determined. He slowly placed my hand back to the back of his head.

"I never felt this before." He said to me in a honest tone, having me nod my head as I tried to breathe as well. It was hard since he was so close to me, breathing in the pine scent he was harboring, along with the scent of the Pacific Ocean.

"Neither have I, but I like it." I replied back to him, seeing him smile and I smiled back in return. He then leaned in and just held me, his one arm around my waist raised so that his arm was going diagonally up my back to my shoulder. His other hand that was on my neck went around my shoulders as I rested my head against his collarbone, near his neck.

I closed my eyes then, feeling so safe with Sam as I felt his lips against my hair, kissing me softly and I clutched him a bit tighter then. For a mere second, I thought I was dreaming, but this had to be real. Vampires don't dream, but it sure felt like one. This feeling of happiness inside of me was expanding, and the butterflies intensified because of Sam. We bother were lost vampires, not knowing a thing about our previous human lives. Up to that point, I was worried about what I was, who was close to me. But as soon as his kiss touched mine, I was no longer concerned with my past.

so how do you like the story so far? give me suggestions, let me know how I'm doing! leave me a review or two!

I based Sam off of Harry Shum Jr, who's on Glee as Mike Chang if you didn't know! I just think he's handsome and has a simple mind :)