Note: Bleach and Family Guy is property of creators Tite Kubo and Seth MacFarlane, respectively.

Title: You're Twisted!

WARNINGS: This story also features very strong language, mild violence, sexual themes, nudity and mild drug use.

Chapter Three: Meet the Espada!

It has not been the greatest of days for Captain Stewie Griffin who been annoyed by Former 5th Division Captain, Sōsuke Aizen. After meeting him in his new office four day ago, he seems to have gotten a little more acquainted with him; like…yeah, just read.

At about 6:00 pm Friday…at Stewie's house.

"This week has been a pain in my fucking ass, maybe some television, KFC, ice cream, and vice versa will help me get that dickhead Sōsuke Aizen out of my mind and all I gotta do is sit down and relax." Stewie thinking as he sits in his chair with junk food watching HBO, etc. until there was a knock on his door. He opens the door only to find out it's the man of his nightmares, Sōsuke Aizen. "Oh. It's you. What the fuck do you want this time, fag-a-tron?" Stewie says sarcastically.

"Well, it's my ten dear Espada is coming here just to meet you; the found you interesting so the wanted to come a see you in person. Even Gin and Tōsen are coming as well. I couldn't leave them alone. Aizen explains.

"When?" Stewie asked.

"Tomorrow. It will be awesome, just some people hanging out, with hard liquor, drugs like pot, crack and blow. And vice versa."

"Sounds like an awesome party…for adults, so I rather not get arrested, thank you."

"I'll be alright, man. Don't worry about a thing. See you tomorrow."

"Later." Stewie says and then slams the door "Goddamn that faggot pisses me off" He later walks away,

Now, back in the Soul Society, Stewie who is trying to get something installed into his kitchen, but all attempts failed. However, he notices the newly-appointed Lieutenant of the 12th Division, Ichigo Kurosaki who was walking by. Then he realizes he needs help with installing something for him.

"Yo, Ichigo!" the captain called out.

"What's up, Captain Griffin." The Lieutenant replies.

"Hey, what did I tell you, call me Stewie. There's no reason to be formal with me, man." Stewie says with a smile. "So, how's working with Kurotsuchi?"

"He's a fucking freak, that's all I can say about him, really."

"Okay, glad to know you two are working fine." he said gladly "Anyways can you help me with something?"

"Sure. What is it?" Ichigo asked.

"I need you to help me install something in my kitchen tonight."

"Tonight? Why can't do it now?"

"I want to get it done tonight before some company comes along."

"When."

"Around 8:30."

"Okay, See you then."

As Stewie will try to keep Aizen at bay, he knows it's gonna end badly for him and everyone else. Let's hope thing's don't get out of hand the very young captain.

It's currently 7:50 pm… at his house

Stewie knows around this time, Aizen and his Espada will come. And he's not gonna let that happen. He hears a knock on the door only to find him and his bitches…err I mean Espada has come, Stewie knows he gotta improvise with something stupid. Meanwhile, as Aizen and his Espada are waiting at his doorstep, someone get a little impatience.

"If this cock sucker isn't home, them I'm gonna smash the door open and rob that motherfucker" said the 6th Espada. "Slow your fuckin' horses, trash. Maybe he's getting ready or something?" said the 4th Espada. " *sigh* I knew this was a bad idea. That stupid ass rammer isn't even home, let say we rob his ass. "YEAH!" all the Espada yelled as the all grabbed something to smash down that door.

"Let's Wait." Aizen tells his pissed off espada. "Just give him five minutes."

Five Minutes Later…

"…Grimmjow?"

"Yes?"

"Smash this motherfucker down!"

"HELL YEAH, BITCH!" Grimmjow said before he punched the door literally of the hinges and bursted inside.

"Fuck yeah, look at all this cool shit, let's do it quick! Right after saying that, Stewie comes downstairs only to find the door smashed open, everybody inside which prompted him by saying.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Stewie yelled at him.

"Just to be clear, it was not my idea to bash the door open, it was Grimmjow's.

"Who the fucking king's ass is Grimmjow? Stewie yelled again at him before looking behind him.

"I am! Gotta problem with that, prick boy? Grimmjow says while behind him.

"I see, your one of his Espada's, aren't you?" Stewie asked Grimmjow.

"Damn right, Skeet Machine!"

"He's Number 6, by the way, just needed to tell you that. Alright, ladies. Lineup time!"

"Lineup time?" Stewie wondered.

"Stewie, Let me introduce you to my stronger Hollow family, this is Espada No. 1, Coyote Starrk. "Sup." Starrk says to him "

…and this is Espada No. 2, Baraggan Luisenbarn. "Hello; little boy." Baraggan says to him. And this is Espada No. 3, Tia Harribel. All she does is wave at Stewie. And here's Espada No. 4, Ulquiorra Cifer.

"You make my life a little less painful." Ulquiorra says to him.

Stewie looks up at Aizen in a weird way and says, "Is he always like this?"

"Yep." Aizen replies. And here's is Espada No. 5, Nnoitra Gilga. "I don't wanna waste my fucking time talking to this little shit." Nnoitra yelled.

"Hey, Nnoitra. I have a question? Are you Chief Wahoo's son?" Stewie fired back at Nnoitra and after that everybody started laughing."…anyways, let keep going, you know Espada No. 6, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. Well, you two already just exchanged, so let's move on, shall we? This is Espada No. 7, Zommari Leroux."

"Hey" Stewie says to Zommari in a mellow way.

"How's it going?" Zommari replied. "Okay, now this is Espada No. 8, Szayel Aporro Granz." Aizen introduces. "Hi, little baby, do you want some candy? Szayel Aporro asked him.

Stewie does not reply because he might say something wrong. "Just tell me the last ones, alright." He looks and says to Aizen.

"Alright, then; here is Espada No. 9, Aaroniero Arruruerie." Aizen replies and introduces. "Hello." Aaroniero says to him; Stewie is left speechless as he did nothing but stare.

"…is it me, or does Aaroniero looks like a walking dildo?" Stewie asked him in a confused way.

"Huh, really?" "I never really noticed before. Anyways, this is the last one, Espada No. 10/0, Yammy Riyalgo." Both Stewie and Yammy say nothing. Now that he has been introduced to his Espada, he wondered, Should he just kill them all or let them have a party since they came out to meet him; so he decided to do the nice thing and let them stay for a while. "Everybody, since I know your names, let me introduce myself, my name is Stewie Griffin, Captain of the 5th Division and I would like it as house guests, to stay for a party since you came all the way out here." He says warmly to them and soon enough, they had a party.

Now it's 9:00 pm…

Stewie wanted to be a good host and let them stay, but things got way too extreme. For example,

He watched as Starrk, Yammy and Zommari drink heavliy, Grimmjow is completely stoned eating chips, Harribel sits in his chair because Nnoitra have been annoying her all night, especially with the numerous amounts of racist jokes he's been blurting out all day. He also watches Ulquiorra take body shots off of Szayel Aporro, Baraggan and Nnoitra snorting cocaine on his new table and Aaroniero drinking as well while reciting rap songs. But he knew he could have prevented this from happening, but he couldn't as Stewie himself allowed this and watched them perform many different acts in his own house and just when he though things couldn't get worse, it does. He hears a knock on the door, hopefully wishing that it isn't the police. He opens the door and sees it none other than Ichigo Kurosaki who he invited over to help him with a task but his eyes can't believe what he was seeing:

"What the hell is going on?" Ichigo asks the small captain. "What are they doing in your house and what the fuck is all this shit?" as Ichigo wonders what is going on, Stewie tries to explain but is interrupted by Tia Harribel, the Third Espada as she begins to flirt with Ichigo:

"Hey, Sexy." Harribel says in a seductive voice. "I don't see men like you very much, what's your name?"

Scared out of his mind, "it's Ichigo Kurosaki." he said to the female Espada. she gets even close to him and not long, he is against the wall as her body pressed up to his.

"Have you ever had sex with a hollow, before?" she asked.

"No. Why?"

"You're gonna find out, my sexy friend." Harribel says as she wraps her arms around Ichigo's neck. She leans over to kiss him, but was stopped by Aizen.

"Hey, you know better." Aizen says to the third Espada. "You gotta work your way to your destination, you have to start at the neck then up, then work your way down."

"Oh, really, sir?"

"Hey! Don't give her tips on how to rape me." Ichigo yelled. "And you! get your fucking hands off of me."

"No. I want you!"

"Stewie! I need some help here."

"I wish i could, but I'm just too tired of this mess." Stewie replies. "Just take it like a man, at least she's offering it to you. shit, Aizen is always getting dissed at the clubs by some random dyke and he doesn't complain." he implied.

"You're mean."

"You're a faggot."

"Heh, heh. burn." Harribel laughs.

"Shit, I gotta agree on that one, too." Ichigo responded.

Stewie continues to rip on Aizen and the other Espada continue to act wild, Ichigo continues to get felt up.

Now 12:37 am...still in his house

Stewie maintains control as some of the Espada passes out. Everything is in good condition except hearing loud rocking noises from the ceiling. He walks upstairs to investigate but before he could get there he soon remembers that he saw a flirty Harribel drag Ichigo upstairs with her twenty minutes ago which only meant she is having sex with him. "Poor, Ichigo. She's stealing his virginity. Well, it was gonna happen anyways." Stewie says to himself.

Stewie looks behind him only to find Aizen on the couch, smoking crack. He looks at him and said under his breath, "Fucking crackhead."

"I heard that. I'm not deaf, you know. Aizen implied.

"Why?" Stewie says with a annoyed look on his face.

"What's wrong?"

"It's you, you have been a pain in my fucking ass all night. I mean, most of them is either drunk or high and one is in my bed, riding the fuck out of Ichigo. You're just lucky that the police didn't come or i would have knocked the shit out of you, asshole!" Stewie explains to him. "And where's the other two?"

"Oh, they left around 8:30. they were bored. Do you have any tea? It soothes me."

"I rather have five shots of vodka, right now."

"Okay. Do you have any?

" *sighs* Yeah, in the cabinet."

As Aizen makes his cup of tea and Stewie tries not to bash his head open, the ceiling noises stop.

"Hmm? They stopped?" Aizen curiously asked. "I think so. *yawns* I'm going to bed in here. I'll let them stay for the night."

"Do you mean all the Espada?"

"Oh, god no! I mean Ichigo and Harribel, obviously."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow." Aizen tells him, then wakes up and gathers them so they can leave. Stewie remains pissed as shit because of all this, he cleans up a little and goes to sleep. Trying not to remember any of this in the morning.

Nine Hours Later...

Ichigo wakes up in Stewie's bed naked with one of the ten Espada. Harribel greets him and after a short talk, they both leave. Before she walked out the door, she gives Ichigo her number. "If you want some more action, call me." she says to him before she flashsteps away from the house; Ichigo is speechless as he stands there.

"Son of a bitch." Ichigo says before walking off.

END OF CHAPTER THREE.