Ooh, we're on chapter 13 - my favourite number! also the number of dwarves in Thorin's company. Anyone else addicted to the Hobbit soundtrack?
I don't own LOTR.
Dear Elrond,
I was wondering – if the living embodiment of evil itself is now a bottle of shampoo, is it really necessary to travel all the way to Mordor to destroy it? I mean, we're in an Elven settlement; Frodo could just toss it up in air and wait for it to be torn apart by the Galadhrim.
Speaking of elves, they won't stop singing. It's getting very annoying.
Your loving adopted son,
Aragron II Elessar
Dear Aragorn,
The bottle of shampoo can only be destroyed where it was made, in Mount Doom. You would know this if you had been paying any attention at my Council, instead of having a staring competition with Legolas.
Cordially,
Elrond Half-Elven, Lord of Rivendell
oOo
Somewhere in Lothlorein, Aragorn turns the One Hair Product over in his hands. On the bottom there is small writing which reads: "packaging: plastic. Not currently recycled. Made in Mount Doom for Mordor Industries".
oOo
Dear Ada,
We have just left Lothlorien. I have to share a boat with the silly dwarf, who has admittedly been less annoying of late. I think he fancies Galadriel.
Before we left, Galadriel gave us all gifts. I got a bow. It is shiny. Gimli asked for her hair, which was strange.
Another strange thing that happened was that when we left Lothlorien, an elleth came with us for no discernable reason. Her name is Mariel-Suvien. She is an excellent fighter and says she is leaving the Realm of the Lady of Light to escape her abusive and troubled past.
Your loving son,
Legolas
Dear Frodo,
Look Frodo, the Argonath! Long have I desired to look upon the kings of old, my kin…
Cordially,
Aragorn
Dear Aragorn,
Why on arda did you just write me that note? We're travelling together, in the same boat. The same boat that is now rapidly sinking, because when you stopped sailing to write me a letter, it crashed into a rock.
Cordially,
Frodo
Dear Frodo,
The enemy has spies everywhere. You never know who might be listening, or reading over your shoulder.
Aragorn
Dear Aragorn,
Is that why you ate my last note? Surely an innocent conversation about massive statues couldn't be of value to the Enemy.
Frodo